A Little Bit Zombie (2012)

The title is the most cleverly enjoyable part of watching the movie. Not scary, and since it’s a straight-out parody the one or (maybe) two laughs and couple of mildly interesting moments (all in the first half) don’t make it worth watching. What a waste of time and dull mostly-professional competence. Grade: D-

Emerson, Lake & Palmer

The Best Of Emerson, Lake & Palmer (1980) The original version of this (released in 1980) is superior to the 1994 re-release because it ends sooner. ELP was intricate, eclectic, and popular…like Yes.  But they always struck me as excrutiatingly pretentious when they weren’t being very basically melodic.  And unlike Yes, I never escaped the… Continue reading Emerson, Lake & Palmer

Looney Tunes – Baton Bunny (1959)

Highs:convenient signglasses dissatisfactionchalking the batonDRAMATIC pause(s)inconvenient clothing adjustment(s)full-body conductingrock-star-ish instrument destructionmusic-loving fly Lows:insufficient jokes w/ the cutenessbattle conducting Grade: B-

Looney Tunes – Knighty Knight Bugs (1958)

Highs:Lots of stuff you’ve seen before Lows:Lots of stuff you’ve seen before Grade: C Why did this win an Academy Award when no Bugs Bunny cartoon before had?  Well, since this clearly isn’t anywhere near the best of them, I would guess that the Academy was giving Bugs a “Lifetime Achievement Award” before the cartoons… Continue reading Looney Tunes – Knighty Knight Bugs (1958)

30 For 30: Muhammad And Larry (2009)

It’s sad to see a lot of this footage behind the fight that shouldn’t have been, but if you’re a fan of Holmes, Ali, boxing, or the importance of knowing when something’s over, it’s worth the pain. Grade: B 1/17/13: See ‘Pupdate: Documentary Grade Edits’.  Grade: B-

Merrie Melodies – What’s Opera, Doc? (1957)

Highs:oh, the pageantrykill the wabbit, kill the wabbit…“what’s up, doc” enquirymajestic steedoverall animation and scoretragic ending Lows:too much magic helmetit’s impressive and interesting (at least to watch once), but it’s not funny.  And isn’t that supposed to be the point? Point of review: Yes, there are many “classics” I don’t review.  Why?  I watch them,… Continue reading Merrie Melodies – What’s Opera, Doc? (1957)

Attack Of The 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012)

More of a really cr@ppy combination of a cheerleading movie and ultra-soft-core porn-for-guys than the campy, cheezy “cult classic” you might be expecting from shlockmeister Roger Corman.  So it’s stupid and it’s dull and it’s not scary. Watch this only after every episode of MST3K, ‘Troll 2’, ‘Hobo With A Shotgun’… BUT…maybe before ‘Rubber’.  Too… Continue reading Attack Of The 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012)

Animal Farm (1999)

Tries to be really dramatic, but fails.  The “light” moments certainly don’t help, nor are they funny. Leaves out huge chunks of the book and dumbs down the rest, which is just plain DUMB because it was all understandable AS IT WAS, in the book. Here’s what I would do:  Read the book. It’s really… Continue reading Animal Farm (1999)

Puppy’s Complete Waste Of Time

The paraphrased-from-Michael-Palin-on-an-unrelated-matter thoughts of Puppy on Marcel Proust’s masterwork, ‘A le recherche du temps perdu’: “I see, I see, I … er … I … er … I … er … I … I can’t think of anything to say about it.“

FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992)

My favorite part of this movie is that they say “canopy” a lot.  And indeed, there’s a candid picture of one. But I digress. GREAT message, so-so animation/script, mediocre music, poor sound mix, HORRIBLE songs. The message is pretty obvious, but how can you disagree with it? “Do Not Destroy Nature”. And I appreciate the… Continue reading FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992)

Merrie Melodies – Ali Baba Bunny (1957)

Highs:Open IterationsBugs’ horrific directional senseDaffy’s greedy eyeballsforceful Bugs dismissalDaffy calling it firstre-emergent bunny headDaffy’s poor danger-senseHassan’s impressive chopsDaffy’s unflinching loyalty in the face of dangerbottled rabbit, unbottledhabitual greedy slobbinessreally impressive rope trickforceful genie dismissalhappy little miserdom Lows:pre-rope trick exposition Grade: A-

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 23)

I think a great Magic or Munchkin (or any card game) card would be “Dissidenti Seer”. Also good for rebel magick-wielding groups in fictional worlds. Strength/Abilities: I’m just an idea man.  Hint:  It’s a music reference, not an Italian reference.

Homo Sapiens 1900 (2000)

I could do without the LONNNGGG pauses accompanied by monotonous minimalist piano score, but this documentary on eugenics is otherwise fairly interesting. I may not agree with everything it’s trying to say (then again, I may not UNDERSTAND everything it’s trying to say) but I believe I can sum up the basic, simple message intended… Continue reading Homo Sapiens 1900 (2000)

EXCITING Billboard Idea – By Puppy

To: American AtheistsFrom: Puppy Since the common CA/A refrain is “We want people to think for themselves” or “We want to encourage free thought”, or SOMETHING along those lines, altered slightly…here’s an idea. It’s a CRAZY idea…but it just might work! Instead of spending money (that could be spent on, oh I don’t know, Secular… Continue reading EXCITING Billboard Idea – By Puppy

My Religious Stance – By Puppy

Ok, I’ve thought about this a lot, and, if anybody cares, I am… *DRUMROLL* Ignostic.  Or “Einstein-ian Agnostic”, or “Agnostic Atheist”, or “Spinoza’s-God-Theist”, or “Non-Crusading (atheist or theist) Good Guy”, or “Influenced-By-Buddhism-And-Various-Other- Eastern-Forms-Of-Spirituality-As-Well-As-Certain-Aspects-Of-Western-Religions-And-Various-Others-As Well-Guy”, or “Who Cares?”… “As god means very different things to different people, when the word is spoken, an ignostic may seek… Continue reading My Religious Stance – By Puppy