Thrilling expedition into the newly found continent of Smallus Islandus Rockus Climbus Stupidus.
The saddest moment was when I wondered if perhaps ‘Congo’ ripped off the ending.
rock climbing (dismal but brilliant…?)
white male reality sketch
sameness as youness speech
Inspirational Quote: “Why do the violins always trill when he’s climbing?”
Recent ad for a phone that was “brilliant” because it could:
Determine the square root of : (7 to the 3rd power – 19), divided by 4.
Wow…the ‘Rain Man’ CA/A’s must be clamoring for this.
I mean, FINALLY, a feature we can actually USE in everyday life.
NOTE: It may have been 17 instead of 19, I’m only 6.3 on that…but still, a vital feature.
Cr@ppy biker movie, featuring cr@ppy music, dancing, and acting.
intro stuff (Gypsy’s Richard Basehart wail, tapping the Servo, Frank’s noise)
eloquent piece of low-life scum
Kix/Wild Rebels cereal
Inspirational Quote: “Oh, just cuz I’m white you think I can play the blues!”
Lots of stock footage and exposition shots and a little jungle worship/rescue/drama story.
Dr. “Sax” Forrester
Bela mocking (most Phantom Creeps are pretty dull, but part one is well-mocked)
Phantom Creep mocku-info-mercial
Joel’s wonderful world of scopes
pretty good riffing
ending origin of Art Crow
Inspirational Quote: “Uhh, when you were in flight school did they teach you how to scream?”
When you think about it, it’s kinda sad to realize that if there had been even one person aboard the Titanic who was good at using games, activities, and/or humorous anecdotes to relax a group of people to help them get to know each other, that whole disaster might never have happened.
One man’s vision of a time traveller and his adventures becomes dull and stupid in conception. It’s really well-intentioned and all, but it’s just bad – terrible at its worst, totally cliche at its best.
‘Lost In Space’ lure/gag
well-meaning but wimpy hero
time-travel bits with past-Mike
good riffing for most
Inspirational Quote: “So in the future kids become gay agents?”
Concentrating mostly on MST3K episodes until I’ve reviewed all except those I refuse to watch (that would be, after some consideration, any further episode with J. Elvis/Josh Weinstein speaking in it).
Then back to mostly Netflix streaming sh1t with a tendency toward cr@p horror/camp, with the occasional good and even more occasional great movie thrown in.
That is all.
Mediocre, boring sci-fi flick. The first episode with TV’s Frank and without Dr. Erhardt (TGIF).
Riffing isn’t bad but they’re still working the kinks out and this is nothing special (IMPO).
seeing Frank as a trainee
A group of clothing-averse students and their ample-chested teacher pursue a dull creature of legend seen mostly in cr@ppy flashbacks.
consistently pretty-good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “I gotta get home and not talk to my wife.”
It’s that really cr@ppy, ultra-cheezy sci-fi flick with that bulky many-named hero.
The movie and accompanying riffing make even the Roman-Era Pearl F. junk somewhat tolerable.
women randomly gyrating around lightning globes
good riffing all the way through
Inspirational Quote: “Passed from editor to editor in a desperate attempt to save it.”
4/1/17: Slight over-rate…it takes a little bit to get going. Grade: B
1 – If starving to death, can eat themselves (hot dogs only)
2 – Actually look sad after doing something naughty
3 – Soft white underbelly much more accessible
4 – More fully appreciate the majesty that is bacon
5 – Look much cuter in hot dog buns (small weiner dogs only)
Warning: No zombies. Just lots of people being turned really boring.
Starts off as an extremely dated, wanna-be cool generic 80’s flick.
It’s got a guy that sorta looks like one of the Coreys and another guy that sorta looks like…some other guy that used to be kinda famous. And Michael Madsen’s sister. Nothing much happens except for the main plotline, which involves lots of people going from annoying and stupid to really really dull.
Pretty bad. Not funny, not scary, just pretty bad.
Inspirational Quote: “You can’t replace human emotions with a crystal!”
“Kinda like ‘Manos’ without the lucid plot” – TV’s Frank
Co-starring coffee. Decent riffing.
Why Study Industrial Arts? short
amazing editing errors
completely unexplained/non movie related off-camera scream
Inspirational Quote: “If only he’d taken an industrial arts class…”
Grade: B- (C/C+ without the short)
6 – Only three required even on the coldest of nights
“There’s less stuff that we don’t understand by a tiny amount.” – George Efstathiou
Layman’s terms is one thing, but since when did scientists start converting to “vague, silly, hard-not-to-mock terms”?
-Puppy >.< Yip!
One of the cheeziest, least scary, most laughable/mockable, least deadly-without-LOTS-of-help monsters ever eats lots of people.
Other star of the movie: extreme voiceover guy
voiceover guy mockery
politely climbing into the monster
handy life advice from the narrator
good riffing (especially in the first half)
Inspirational Quote: “Yes, they did the nasty.”
See Pearl Forrester for the first time, if you want. Nothing special there.
Movie: Most Dangerous (but STOO-pid) Game feat. Mr. Brady
Uncle Jim’s Dairy Farm short
tree of death/novelty items/interminable dialogue
Grade: B- (Call it a C without the short)
7 – Much easier to get rollin’
Beach jiggling, shenanigans, and music. All incredibly boring. One of the last to watch if at all.
Highlights: tank tops and the times noone is singing.
3/21/13: “It stinks!” Grade: F
8 – Spoken English vocabulary, if limited (the top of a house, the texture of sandpaper, the greatest baseball player of all time, etc.)
9 – Much better Curly Howard imitators