Pupdate – 9/27/13

New movie on the ‘A List’.  It’s a re-watch.

I don’t usually do this, but perhaps I should.  If you don’t care, it does no harm.  And you might.  And who cares?

See if you can pick it out, and watch it before it’s off Netflix streaming, where it undeservedly was relegated along with a lot of stupid cr@p.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Pupdate – Semper Puppy 9/26/13

I have no idea who is listening to me in Alabama, but whoever you (singular or multiple) are, two things:

1) Thank you.
2) Please do not stalk me unless you are an extremely attractive female between the ages of 21-45 and you obtain prior permission from me.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Jeux Sans Frontieres

Anyone that derides any game as childish or meaningless/pointless is just fooling themselves.

Everyone plays games.  At every age.  The only things that change are the games you play and how you play them.

That you choose to label them as something else does not change what they are.

“Shall we play a game?”

“I don’t like to lose.”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Class Of Nuke ‘Em High (1986)

Some Troma flicks are watchable, because they’re…not good enough, but smart enough.  And doggone it, some people do like them.

This isn’t all that smart, even adjusting for sh1t, but I actually find it minorly enjoyable.

My favorite part was minorly enjoying it while waiting for it to end so I could review it, knowing there would be nothing to actually have to analyze. 

Oh, and every shot of Janelle Brady.  That pretty much got me through.

Inspirational Quote: “Hmm? Mmm? … Hmm?”

Grade: D

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 45)

Ok, now I understand when people say that some people take sports WAY too seriously, it’s just a game, etc etc etc.  I agree.

But on the other hand, I think it’s equally as absurd to either:
1) HATE sports, as if they are a tool of evil (they’re JUST GAMES, right?  How can you HATE games?????)
or…
2) Believe that every male that likes sports is by definition a moron.  That’s just dumb.  I mean, if you think all football players are just big dumb fat guys, try memorizing an NFL playbook.  You don’t even have to move a muscle, just read one, and be able to recite exactly what you would do on every play based on what every other player does.  Purely intellectual.

Apparently advertising people subscribe to this notion as well, based on the following ad:

Coors Light Commercial.  Everyone in the bar is always smiling. 

Cut away, cut back: SMILE…

another cut, SMILE…

another…SMILE.

It’s like, with Coors Light they smile about EVERYTHING?

“Hey, good to see you!” SMILE

“You look really great!” SMILE

“Oh sh1t, I gotta go take a piss!” SMILE

“FCK!  I just spilled my beer!” SMILE

“OMG I don’t believe she shot me down!!!” SMILE

“I drank WAY too much, man, I feel like I’m gonna vomit all over you!” SMILE

The Welker Delusion

It’s a critical attribute for any NFL (or any pro sport) GM/Exec/Scout/Coach/Etc to be able to see the gradual beginning decline of a player before it becomes blatantly obvious to the masses.  That’s when you trade said player based on their presumed level of talent when you know they’re going nowhere but down.  Slowly, perhaps, but down.  And once you start to decline as an athlete, you generally don’t go back up.  You just keep going down.  The great ones just go down a LOT slower.

So, based in no small part on the fact that Wes Welker (and this is a non-verified observation…no mathematics involved, just eyes) from what I saw (and I saw a lot) dropped more passes last year than the past 3-4 years combined, his loss has been greatly exaggerated.

Would he be better than Boyce, Dobson, or Thompkins?  Sure.

But I think the pendulum has swung from 2-3 years ago to the point where I can now say that Wes Welker is a poor man’s Julian Edelman.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Feeding Grounds (2006)

Lots of sh1tty music.  Because sh1tty bands have sh1tty standards when it comes to getting sh1tty plugs in sh1tty horror movies that aren’t scary.

Basically the only thing I got out of this movie is a nagging feeling that we aren’t doing enough to support stem cell research.

Inspirational Quote: “I’m going to be an ac-tress.”

Grade: F-

The Spock Delusion

If you ever encounter a CA/A who invokes Spock in their argument/defense/overall attitude, feel free to make them aware of the following:

1) Spock (as with all Vulcans, not because he was half-human) was an extremely emotional being.  Because he suppressed these emotions does not mean they did not exist.  If any actual research had been done, as is the CA/A MO, this would have been known to them.

2) Many Vulcans are theists, if you know what “theism” means in the broadest (real) sense.

Same-Day Edit: It’s actually…well, not amazing, knowing them…but remarkable that trying to find ANY reference to “theism” anywhere that could possibly in any way be seen as unarguably positive or even non-negative is a ‘1984’ like struggle against the Ministry of Truth.  I mean, I could’ve SWORN that the last time I looked up “Vulcan” on Wikipedia, it said they were theists.  But this time, that section is completely absent…ALMOST as if someone had intentionally gone in and removed it retroactively for (mis?)information purposes.  So, I went to several other sources to verify the FACT that at least some Vulcans are, in FACT, theists.  Fictionally, of course.  But isn’t it sad how rabid these people are?  I mean, I knew CA/A’s aspired to worldwide propaganda, but if you have to turn into Big Brother to denounce “brainwashing”…well…ummm…yeah.

Unrest (2006)

At the beginning, you may think to yourself – “This could be pretty good…creepy, maybe thriller-type interesting”. 

It could.  But it isn’t.

Like most cr@ppy NetFlix streaming horror movies you’d never heard of before, the reason why is because it’s not very good at all and so noone watched it, or if they did they didn’t tell anyone else.  Or if they did, they told them it sucked.

It’s professional-grade, I’ll say that for it.  No ridiculously gross awfulness.

But the opening faint promise becomes more and more disappointing as it just meanders around, going nowhere interesting until the very end.

The philosophical/spiritual attempts are half-hearted, as is the “romance”, and both seem to serve only to (like love) pad the film.

I mean, she basks in the obvious afterglow with her bra still on?

Comes with lots of unwarranted VERY SCARY music, and cadaver-fishing.

9/12/13: Guest Review by Mr. Eric Praline, addressing the director (and being disturbing) – “It’s people like you what causes unrest!”

Inspirational Quote: “I got a head!”

Grade: F

To Any Who Care

Please do not take my previous post as an indication that I am in any way STOPPING my posts.

Simply pausing and being a smarta$$ about it.

There’s no way I’d ever give up my site…the fact that it exists and is visited annoys too many people that I can’t stand for me to even consider it. 

Thank you.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Subeta Review

As of late I have been playing Subeta quite a bit.  It’s sort of like NeoPets.  I’m fairly into it at the moment, but I shall attempt to suspend that for an honest evaluation.  Vis:

If you’re looking for games, this is NOT the place to go.  At all.  In any way.  The games are very limited in choice and aren’t particularly exciting.

There are frequent pauses, mini-crashes, etc.

The world is much smaller.

The player base is much smaller.

However…as of this writing, at least, I prefer it to Neo.

Why?  Because I’ve seen at least some real evidence that the staff actually gives a fck about the players.  Are they doing it because they’re nice, or to get new players?  Probably some of both.  But I like staff that gives a fck.

Also because there are lots of things to do, if you don’t demand actual games.  Like Neo, it’s for kids AND adults, so some things seem a bit childish/amateurish to me.  But it’s got a certain cutesy-japanese-anime charm to it, and so far the other players have shown to be nice, overall, from my experience.  And the ads are far less intrusive and annoying.

Anyhoo that’s it for now, screw watching cr@p movies for you people when I’m (at least temporarily) into this.  Look at my back catalog.  No offense.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Harold’s Going Stiff (2011)

Documentary-format movie about British men slowly turning into “zombies” via some unknown disease.

Centers on one man (Harold) and a woman that takes care of him.  She looks a bit like a young Dawn French, if that holds any interest for you.

I can’t call it moving or funny or scary, because every time it seems to be edging towards one of those it just moves back to slow and deliberate.  Not boring, just slowly moving along, going nowhere in particular, in no hurry – sort of like the disease itself.

It’s a bit frustrating, actually, because it’s fairly clever and never embarassing, but it just never seems to even TRY to go anywhere beyond its initial borders.  It’s like watching a slow-moving stream and wondering when it’s going to overflow or change direction.  Certainly not unpleasant, but if you’re expecting anything else, somewhat disappointing.

Very few players, very little “action”.  Weird…and by far the most tranquil zombie movie I’ve ever seen.

Grade: C-

Zombi 2 (aka ‘Zombie Flesh Eaters’) (1979)

Cheezy, dumb ripoff of the then-popularity of Romero’s ‘Dawn’. 

Quick intro scene lifted right from the middle of ‘Dawn’.  Why?  SELL SELL SELL!  (Ironic, no?)

If you like gore you might (mildly) enjoy cackling and/or laughing at this, depending on your tastes and your tolerance for cheeze and bad FX.

I need decent acting, a decent script, believable characters…SOMETHING else besides gore to make a zombie flick watchable.  Unless it’s UTTERLY horrid…and this doesn’t QUITE achieve that.

With the cheeziness and background music, it’s sort of like watching a 70’s porn flick, without the porn.  It’s even got a guy that was in one of the ‘Emanuelle’ movies.  Not to be confused with the ‘Emmanuelle’ movies.

The “exciting” scenes often have a Michael-Palin-from-MPFC’s-‘jungle explorers find a nice place to eat and then bad stuff happens’ sketch, near the end – before it’s deemed not suitable for family viewing.

“Do you know much, about voodoo?  It’s a fascinating practice…” Yeah well you wouldn’t know it from this, Loki.

Upped a notch so I don’t have to worry about which title to put on my F list.  And because it reminds me of ‘Dawn’.  And 70’s porn.

Grade: D-