American Psycho (2000)

Christian Bale performs very well as an alternately boring/psychotic yuppie.  The boring is easy for Bale…and there’s a lot more boring than psychotic, so it’s pretty much his perfect role.

Why?  Because even for a sh1tty actor with very limited range, two emotions (apathetic and psychotic) are easy enough to get down.

There’s also a lot of meaningless drivel as Bale’s character descends further and further into insanity.  But he’s still pretty boring.

His fascination with 80’s music isn’t a great low-key setup for anything.  It’s just dull.  And he’s got sh1tty taste.

Grade: D

4/7/14: OK, OK…it’s not THAT bad.  I still have no use for Christian Bale as an actor in general, but as I said, this is his perfect role.  And his dullness IS funny at times, and there are some moments so ridiculous that they’re amusing and some juxtapositions (hey, mighty fancy word) that are interesting because they’re so different. 

Inspirational Quote: “Yes, it is!”

Grade: C-

Quote Of The Day – Morality > Science

Spoiler Alert: From a good movie (‘Extreme Measures’). If you haven’t seen it, this quote is better experienced that way.

“Maybe they are doing a great thing for the world. Maybe they are
heroes. But they didn’t choose to be. You chose for them. You
didn’t choose your wife or your granddaughter, you didn’t ask for volunteers. You chose for them. And you can’t do that, because
you’re a doctor, and you took an oath, and you’re not God. So I
don’t care, I don’t care if you can do what you say you can. I
don’t care if you find a cure for every disease on the planet!
YOU tortured and murdered those men upstairs, and that makes you a disgrace to your profession. And I hope you go to jail for the
rest of your life.”

There are some who call him…Tim (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Puppy Preface:  I went on a “Roleplay-Enforced” MUD, of my own volition.  Therefore I had to expect that I (and everyone else) would roleplay…that is, play their character, not act however they feel, scorned and embarassed or not.

So I played a character, who was sweet and rather naive.  So when some guy (character) tried to force me, sexually, I played as she would.  When he made her “forget” it had happened and instead made her go to the bathroom and masturbate (how gallant!) to…not really sure I understand this…but to confirm his power and “manhood”, guess what?  I did it.  And when I had to come back to him, pretending nothing had happened…even though PLAYER (me) was outraged, I did NOTHING but play my character:  Nice, considerate, naive, trusting.  And I think I did rather well…you know…ROLEPLAYING.

So when, the next day, I complain IN CHARACTER to someone after they help me figure out what really happened, and the offending character goes off and sulks because he (player) doesn’t like that, it’s a really SAD testament to roleplaying.  I was sad when I had to roleplay liking the schmuck, but I did it…because I’m a ROLEPLAYER…some people need to learn this.

But I degress:

When you can’t get any in real life, try Timothy’s M* School:

“With a slight memory twist, Timothy left Sashana believing that their conversation and his light fondling was him attempting to seduce her.”

Puppy: Is “light fondling” now considered an acceptable means of “flirtation” or “seduction”?

OR Puppy: Oh, hey, wow…yeah, light fondling is a great first move, huh Tim?  I think he watched that MST3K short more than I watched the flippin’ Mummy: “Tackling her from behind is the first step.”
I especially like his clarification: It’s only LIGHT fondling.

“In a library no less, in a private room, he wanted to get her clothes hiked up so he could take her right there on the table.”

Puppy: You wanted to hike up my socks?

“Perhaps she was flattered?”

Puppy: Oh, I don’t know…

OR Puppy: Oh yeah, and you can insinuate HOW you want the intended target to respond.  If so…what’s the point of even playing, Tim?  I mean, just emote that you’re fcking everyone, logoff and make the game that much better.

“But the man’s power was overwhelming and she had to escape…to her relief, found in the bathroom.”

Puppy: “Ok, now this is where, if you DON’T wanna get forced, you have to go masturbate.” – Someone’s apparent thought process.  I mean…when you think about it, it’s just DUMB…it’s fantasy so I’m not gonna get riled up over it (See “Roleplaying”, above) but…WTF is this guy thinking?

OR Puppy: This is great…this is the part where Timmy forces my character to masturbate after failing his “Bleedin’ Obvious Non-Subtlety” roll.  And doesn’t realize she was a virgin.  And then he asks her straight out.  Perhaps, Tim, next time you find a MUSHSEX partner, you should be sure of their info before you assault them in a public place.

“<OOC> You say, “Please skip the subjective analysis of your own behavior I’m sure you’re manly, but that’s hardly appropriate.”

Puppy:  That was me, word for word.  I cannot improve on it.  He was talking about how amazing my orgasm had to be, how manly he was…I felt like watching ‘Men In Tights’.

“Timothy says, “Hmm. She would know that he is probably concerned that if she were a virgin that he inadvertently took that.”

Puppy: And HOW would he “inadvertently” take that?  A REALLLLLY long detachable penis with a mind of its own?

The search continues…

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Pupdate – 1/27/14

For the past few months, my review of ‘The Devil’s Rock’ has been getting a substantial amount of hits.

Now, how I feel about that is, like the F&P, two ways:
1) Thanks, that’s rather flattering actually…and…
2) WTF is wrong with you people?? I’ve written a helluva lot of sh1t more witty than that.

Oh well…time for some boiling Cointreau.

-Puppy >.< Ruff!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 50)

In a world…

So, basically someone should make a movie about vampires vs. humans for total world domination…and the vampires are winning, then someone (human) prays or does something really cool/weird/unusual to invoke Ed Harris’s voice saying “Cue the Sun.”

Then there’s a decisive turn in the war, and the humans win.

And they get along for a coupla weeks after that…like in that sh1tty Independence movie, and then it’s back to work hating each other for really really dumb reasons.

Run with it.  And come on; swing baby, you’re platinum.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Monster Club (1980)

It’s a laidback (monster) club setup where Vincent Price tells some non-monster guy 3 stories.  In between, there’s horrible club music numbers.  I mean, they really are both cheezy and annoying at the same time.

I used to really like this, when I was just an itsy bitsy teensy weensy little…schmeensy.

1: Sensitive, truly romantic monster gets seduced by a scheming human.  There’s very little horror here, but some thriller and decent drama. And a littttle bit of comedy.

2: Dull, boring mini-flick.  With an unfortunate helping of Donald Unpleasance.  Tiny twist at the end doesn’t save it.

3: Man gets trapped in a village of Ghoulish man-eaters.  Some interesting things happen, and the ending is good and kinda creepy.

Inspirational Speech: Vincent Price at the end.

Grade: D

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: C-

OK, I said I wouldn’t, so…Let’s Vague!

“I make you a counterproposal…I’ll agree to your terms, IF…IF you follow your own rules and regulations.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urNFQw8VIvA

Inky’s got major BLINKY, baby!

Oh, here’s what to say if you’ve been hunting rats too long:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idO3VjT8sjk

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – I don’t have a fever, but the second clip shows in a very straightforward and firm way how sometimes people GET fevers, and they must be treated. (housekeeping)

Deadly Cinema (2003-2005)

Really horrible acting and poor-at-best writing make up the “sketches” in between the horrible movies. 

The “star”, Jami Deadly, is as bad as all the rest of the cast.  She’s got a sort of a wanna-be Elvira, wanna-be Crypt Keeper mixture going on.

It’s like going to a local club for sketch comedy on a bad night.  And if you watch more than one of these just to make sure it wasn’t a temporary blip…well let’s say, very kindly, that you’re a very trusting and also very desperate soul.

I only watched the host segments, and only a few of them.  So, take it as an incomplete…but mainly take it as “So bad from what I saw that I’m gonna switch to ‘Manos'”

DO NOT be fooled by people who compare this to MST3K, or even Elvira.  Or Joe Bob Briggs.  Or anyone currently on the air that doesn’t suck.  It’s DULL…and it only got life, IMPO, because people were jonesing for some MST3K.

Room 237 (2012)

My GOD is this pretentious.  You don’t sit there and feel surprised/enlightened…just bored, really.

Points out all the “hidden messages” in the movie ‘The Shining’.

Watch ‘The Shining’ instead.  If you want conspiracy messages/random theories about it, look online.  Don’t waste 1:43 of your time here.

This documentary should have come out as French, with English subtitles.

Guest IQ: “[Kubrick] didn’t tell an audience what to think or how to think and if everyone came out thinking something differently that was fine with him. That said, I’m certain that he wouldn’t have wanted to listen to about 70, or maybe 80 percent [of Room 237]… Because it’s pure gibberish.” -Leon Vitali

Grade: F

Tales From The Crypt – Episode 32 (Easel Kill Ya)

Tim Roth stars in this one as a REALLY creepy painter.  Good acting by him…decent theory…well done.  I particularly like the “cops with dogs” scene that Roth TRIES to stay calm about.  Cuz they KNEW, man…they could smell it.

I still prefer ‘A Maid On A Night Out Winding A Grandfather’s Clock With Her Left Hand’.  Not to mention Michelangelo’s ‘Two Muscular Guys Touching Fingers’.  And, of COURSE, ‘Dogs Playing Poker’.

Bobbing Low’s Guide To Life – Part Five

The mystery limp is key to a successful non-loving, no sex, no romanticism relationship.

Just start limping one day.  Blow off any concern, cuz ya know…you’re a MANLY man.

Then, switch that limp around constantly…like Igor’s hump from ‘Young Frankenstein’, only much more prevalent.  You know, sometimes it’s in the “normal” leg, then a few days later it’s moved over to the other leg…rarely you can do both legs (not for beginners) and if you just don’t give a d@mn that day, lose it completely!   BRILLIANT!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Final Armageddon Post – And This Time, I MEAN IT!

“Complaints of unfairness will not be given an audience. If you think
your character’s situation was unfair, too bad. Live with it or don’t.” – Armageddon homepage, under topic “Rules”.

Well…I mean, come on…if you “live by the sword”, as they say…

Meaning, complaints posted to MY website of unfairness will be given the same audience.  Why?  You like it that way, apparently.  If you think the situation is “unfair”, too bad.  Live with it or don’t.

I don’t care.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Video Clips On Youtube

Since I’ve noticed that many SMALL clips (less than 5 minutes of a 2+ hour movie…hardly the entire thing) on Youtube tend to eventually get “Blocked/Removed for Copyright Reasons” by extremely rich companies (subsidiaries of ConHugeCo), I suggest this:

It is (well, check first, but as far as I know) completely legal to have those clips there, and they CANNOT be removed, if they are the subjects of “critical analysis”.  I don’t remember the exact wording, but the basic point is if it’s an analysis of that clip by a critic, it’s ok.

I am a critic.  Amateur, yes…but I’ve been reviewing things here for over 3 years.  So, if you make sure it’s legal first (I BELIEVE so, but just to be sure), ask me to give a critical analysis on a clip that you want put there, and I’ll watch it, and I will give it a critical analysis.  A real one, not just “Love this” or “it stinks”…but a real review/critique just like the stuff I do here.

Attach comments to this post if you want.

Thanks.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Armageddon Mud – Final Thoughts (THANK GOD)

I mean, it was REALLY fun for a while…when Inky thought I was female playing a female character.  Since then it’s just been a world of fcken annoyance.

From an Administrator:

“Given that you’ve decided to take this to your blog…”

Right…MY blog.  My blog, where I post MY opinions/jokes/sarcastic remarks/etc…not yours. 

But hey, thanks for the hit!  Every little one counts towards that million.

“and seem unwilling to discuss this with staff,…”

Unwilling to discuss with staff???  Are you high?  I traded like 6 messages back and forth with an Imm EXPLAINING the ENTIRE thing.  It got so right-adjusted that I could barely read it, like one word for each line.

“your account on the game as well as on the GDB has been temporarily banned. “

So…a ten year vet cheats (IMPO…I’m 6.9 on that), I (a newbie) complain about it, as I was ENCOURAGED to do by an Imm response…and I get banned?

“Remove your posts on your blog and we can talk then. 
Nyr
Administrator
ArmageddonMUD Staff”

This is my favorite, no question. 

A MUD Admin (in my subjective opinion) trying to bribe me to censor my free speech in exchange for game access.  Well…POSSIBLE game access.  That’s just…sad. 

Oh, and go fck yourself.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Event Horizon (1997)

Very mediocre and disappointing sci-fi action/drama with the feel of ‘Aliens’/’Sphere’.  Not very good at either, and not very good.  I stress “feel”…not quality, in any way.  Well, regarding ‘Aliens’, that is.

So if you wondered why it wasn’t a hit, that’s why.  It is NOT an overlooked gem.

Fav bits: Sam Neill getting a bit Trent-ish.

Inspirational Quote: “She’s ready to blow.”

Grade: D-

Iancu Attempts Snarky – Fail

You send this message to the staff:
“Is there any reason that a player who knows I am planning on retiring this character and who has abused OOC info should be contacting me IC, when I only logged in to make the previous “wish”?”

(Puppy Edit: He would know not to contact me because of our last communication, in which I responded to his request to use OOC info IC…as follows – “When I said “tone down” I basically meant “No Mudsex”, not “you can decide to change your character’s clearly expressed feelings…Completely unacceptable.”)

Re:
The stocky, spade-bearded man sends you a telepathic message:
 “A peaceful morning?” (Puppy suggested addition: “Did you feel it?  Maybe next time.  BTW, I have an aversion to RPing with males playing female characters.  Fortunately for you, I’m also a fcken dumba$$…so I’m rather obvious about it.  Now, go off and die, my sweet concubine.)

BOOM CHIKKA WAH-WAH!

Response:
“OOC: I am here to wish, not to play.  Please don’t compound your OOC info abuse by being snarky about it.  Nice illegal artifact, btw.”

Too bad mindbenders can read Psi’s, huh Inky?

You don’t have to worry about poison with that glowing, shining ring though.  At least, unless a Templar finds out about it.

Now…keep in mind, you CANNOT use this info IC.  BUT, if you’re clever, you can find a way to use it IC without being obvious about it…same way Inky was gonna ditch my character.

I’m not SUGGESTING you do it…but you could, rabbit, you could.

Oh, P.S. : You also can’t IN ANY WAY use the fact that he has allies in the Labyrinth that work for him.  Now, I mean it!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Armageddon Rules And Violations – A Serious Critique

First, direct quotes from some section of Arm/GDB/helpfiles/etc:

“Role-playing…is not considered an option by the creators of the world, it is a strict requirement. If you do not want to role-play, please go elsewhere.”

“…it is expected that you will play your character consistently…”

“Although it is just a game, try to imagine yourself as your character, and act as your character while in the game.”

“…try not to let your own desires get in the way of role-playing your character…”

Second, my complaint based on this:

“…My character, Evalyn, was named “formally” as “assistant to Lord Oash”.

Privately, she was assured she was now “Aide/Concubine”.  Player of Iancu Oash apparently found out Evalyn (character) was played by me (male) when, after HE requested it, I registered for the Oash GDM forum…

“His response (PUPPY EDIT: see below) makes clear, to me, that his intent is to ignore/phase out my character, or simply avoid her until – without the intimate roleplay connection she had for four days straight with a Lord, including being told intimate secrets/shown around his estate/being promised-offered anything I basically wanted in shops…etc… gone – she inevitably gets killed or just fades away until such time that he can use his OOC distaste to “legitimately” alter his IC play enough to dismiss her.

Suspending his character basically would give him what he wants – I would die or fade away, problem solved.  So I’m hoping there’s some way you can tell him, basically: roleplay your character as your character, without (potential) homophobia creeping into it, without using OOC feelings to (not so subtly, or) subtly alter your play until it’s seen as “acceptable” IC to dismiss someone you basically gazed at with doe-eyes until you found out OOC info.

Third, quotes from Iancu’s player:

“…I would be more comfortable toning down the more intimate aspects of the character relationship, honestly.”

Puppy Translation: You’re a guy?  I gotta cut you loose…I’ll find out some way to do it “IC”, cuz I’m a ten year vet and know how to abuse the system.

“It should be easy enough to make the decision ICly.  I was already sort of hedging my bet with what role would be best for Evalyn in the clan you – might have noticed…”

Puppy Commentary: Complete lie.  See evaluation, part four, below.

“Hopefully it’s not too awkward or upsetting to Evalyn if other aspects seem to cool down.”

Puppy Translation: I hope you don’t mind me using OOC info to alter my IC behavior.  Hopefully it won’t be TOO annoying to you, cuz I’m gonna do it, one way or another.

I mean, this guy’s running slipshod over the rules.  OH!

Fourth, summary of Inky situation:

Well basically, it Orinoco blows.  But here’s more detail:

It’s supposed to be, as empirically proven by their own discussion board, website, rules, constant arguments on the subject…a ROLEPLAYING mud.

So…I made a female character.  Because I liked the character idea.  Not to seduce some poor unsuspecting male into MUDsex.  Evalyn, based on Evelyn from ‘The Mummy’. 

I watched the flippin movie like 6 times in 3 days just to get EVERY mannerism down:  how she smiles, WHEN she smiles, how she talks, what words she uses, what words she avoids, how she walks, how she sits, how she talks to herself…EVERYTHING.  Why?  Cuz I like to ROLEPLAY well on a ROLEPLAYING mud.

So I’m playing the female character, not once saying “Hi. I’m a female player.”  Why?  Because it’s a ROLEPLAYING mud, not a play-your-own-sex MUD.

In fact, nowhere (I looked) in the: helpfiles, website, discussion board, all going back OVER A DECADE does it ever once, in any way, explicitly or implicitly say (or suggest) that you should play your own gender.

Ok, so I roleplay Evie AS Evie.  Cuz, you know…ROLEPLAY.  And I meet this other character…let’s call him Mr. I. 

(Although his real name is this: Iancu Oash, Lord of a Noble House, the stocky, spade-bearded man, tiny penis (that last one is pure conjecture))…

…Played by someone who’s been playing Armageddon for TEN YEARS…so…you’d expect they’d know how to/want to ROLEPLAY. And they’d know the rules about NOT USING OOC KNOWLEDGE IC.  Huh?

And there’s HOURS and HOURS and HOURS of roleplay, eventually, between myself and Mr. I.  EVERY time he sees me, he seeks a way to RP…and vice versa, cuz that’s…IN CHARACTER (see “ROLEPLAY”) since our CHARACTERS really like each other/work closely together.

He says how much he adores me, how wonderful I am, how in 20 years he’s never blah blah blah but with me blah blah blah, how he very much (in slightly subtle terms) wants to sleep with me, how he wants to take care of me forever, how he wants me to never touch another man, how he’s “willing to go as slow as I need” (Puppy translation: I wanna fck you so bad that I’ll wait for the MudSex until you’re good and ready, just PLEASE don’t fck anyone else cuz I’m like, sensitive!).  I mean, he ASKED me to be his concubine.  FLAT OUT.

Then, after he finds out PLAYER is male (because he ASKED ME PERSONALLY to request access to a board which ASKED ME to give my GDB name, which SAYS my gender…not like I said “haha I’m a guy!”), I send him two messages.  Both to the effect of:  I realize that now that you know player is male, you may feel uncomfortable with certain aspects of roleplay, I would be HAPPY to change (WITHIN REASON) as long as it’s IC if you are uncomfortable, please write back I just want to keep playing…all very polite, respectful…respecting PLAYER as a person.

And what do I get?  No response, even though he got my message (at least the first one the same day…)

And CHARACTER suddenly, for no adequately explored reason, goes from “COMPLETE DEVOTION” to “casual business relationship”???.  NO in character reason…at least, that’s what he suggested in his (eventual) reply.

*After I spend HOURS rearranging his barracks with him gone for male-playing-female avoidance reasons…”Let’s let the newb do the grunt work before we ditch her/him”*

Ummm…this is one of our VETERANS, Armageddon?

I mean, I’m not saying that anyone’s homophobic, but let me quote Kurt Cobain:

“I am not gay.  But I wish I were, just to piss off homophobes.”

A ten-year-vet NEWB.  SAD.

Oh, on a side note:

Orin, who appeared as soon as I logged on (Day two, A.I. (After Iancu)) and seemed to be trying to annoy ummm…my CHARACTER…and who was, out of four applicants, the only one selected to join Iancu’s House):
Date Player Registered: December 15, 2002

Player Of Iancu:
Date Registered: December 19, 2002

WELL GOLLY GEE WHAT A CO-IN-KEE-DUNK!

“Why, that’s the exact amount I just gave Mr. Scroggins!”
“Well ain’t that a coincidunce!”

“All I want is what your MUD claims to be: IC handled IC.  If he doesn’t like it, and thinks it’s “unfair” to have to RP with a male player…well, to quote one of Armageddon’s rules…tough.  Live
with it or not.”

“I mean, I’d say just ask him.  Ask him if we RPd very intimate scenes, he told me a secret that would get him killed, he offered to buy me anything I wanted, he said “You are my Aide and Concubine”…and if he’s slimy enough to lie, I guess I get screwed.  Because he did all those things, and now he’s trying to say “well, I actually wasn’t even sure what role she would have…”.  Because he found out I’m male.  OOC info, used IC.  It’s as simple as that.”

“It’s about the fact that he told me he would radically alter his IC roleplay based on OOC information.”

Sad.

I’d like to point out, any opinions expressed are all my SUBJECTIVE OPINI ONS, for purposes of CRITICAL ANALYSIS.  I COULD be wrong…I mean…yeah…but I COULD.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

I ‘An See You (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Gonna need some visual aids for this…

“Wow, this RP is gonna be great.  Now, all the hours of effort will…oh sh1t.”

He SEES me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_HPFoelMQc

Well, tell him I said screw you.

This is now the “Lord Iancu Oash Bad Roleplay Alert System”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1MQ1IkKZaI

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – First clip is the ending from a very good movie with a very Cthulhu-esque flair to it; the best I’ve seen in that vein, actually. The second clip is a bit of fun mocking how AWFUL an actor Nic Cage is. (housekeeping)

It’s Finished! My Masterpiece!

I shall call it ‘A Maid On A Night Out, Winding A Grandfather’s Clock, With Her Left Hand’.

But first, a bit of fun.

Ok, so pretend Evalyn is the mummy, and Iancu Inky-Baby is Beni after finding out that Evie is played by a male.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDWR5RkWRTY

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – An interesting bit with an interesting character from a pretty good movie. (housekeeping)

Roleplaying – How To Do It

First, pick an interesting character.

Second, research that character (if based on existing person/historical person/fictional person/etc).

Third, stay in character.

Fourth, and this is key…DON’T USE OOC INFORMATION TO INFLUENCE YOUR RP.

My research, in this case, involved watching a movie SIX GODD@MN times in three days.

Did I “ENJOY” it?  No.  I was trying to put an investment into a character I liked.

Same reason I logged 60 hours in a week.

What’s the point of this?  Can’t say.  We’ll see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNfGyIW7aHM

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Clip is a satire of an actual show, I believe. It’s quite good, and also very useful as a piece of satirical material re: other things. (housekeeping)

Thoughts While Watching The Patriots – 1/11/14

Dan Dierdorf: Belaboring inside the box.

So he goes ON and ON and ON and ON about how BAD a play it was to give up 2 points.

Now, the score was 21-10 New England.  That’s a two score game.  (TD +2 and FG)

A safety makes it a…two score game. (TD and FG)

And the other team gets it (probably) about 80 yards from your end zone.

Dierdorf apparently thinks it’s ABSOLUTELY the thing to do to give the other team 1st and goal at YOUR OWN 2 yard line…very probably 7 points, a virtual CERTAINTY for 3.  Either way, making it a ONE SCORE GAME.

Jesus H. Christ…(Yes?)…no, I was talking metaphorically (Oh).

I mean I “see” the argument for both sides, cuz I’m not a moron.  There’s odds for both things to work or not.

But a color analyst who is SO ingrained in his little box of thought is a color analyst that needs to retire.

I’m writing this before I see the results.  It’s my opinion cuz it’s my opinion, not cuz it worked or didn’t.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Zombi Holocaust (1979)

Oh, what lovely intro music.  Someone diddling on a synth.  I mean doodling…or diddling, whichever.

Wikipedia describes this as a cross between ‘Zombi 2’ and an Emmanuelle flick with cannibal action.

More the second, actually.  Without the porn bits.

5:36 – Anacanapooner…
5:38 – *knowingly* Aaaanacanapooner…
5:41 – *With a frustrated glare* AnacanaPOOner!
5:42 – Ohhh…

1:20:05-07 – HAIKIBA!

Inspirational Quote: “It was the most beautiful part of my life…I wouldn’t want to see those places again.”

Grade: F

Tales From The Crypt – Episode 24 (The Secret)

12 year old orphan is adopted by a weird couple with an extra guy along for the ride.  Good buildup, somewhat disappointing ending. 

Larry Drake (Dr. Giggles) plays the normal one of the three adults. I KNOW, right?

Curly describes their house: “This ain’t a bad lookin’ dump…”
Moe concurs: “Reminds me of the penthouse we were thrown out of.”

Armageddon MUD Joke – Rice Lied Style

Then smothered in gravy…TEXAS STYLE!

Anyway, if I had a character that was in the main city with a labyrinth in it, and I woke up dazed and confused next to a pile of vomit (not sure whose, but vomit), and some person tried to convince me that I was in fact in the city of Tuluk, I’m pretty sure I’d realize it was Allanak.

GIB, DOLB, NAD SRABSY!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Armageddon MUD

More harsh than ‘Harshlands’.

Takes place in a desolate desert world where survival is quite difficult.

The harshness seems uniform: I’ve seen no evidence of any sort of preferential treatment.  Everyone suffers just the same.  (That’s a compliment, and a joke.  Ha ha)

The application process requires approval, which keeps vaguely interested people out.  This helps weed out the poor RPers…but I stress “helps”.

Now, to survive takes a certain amount of intelligence and/or luck.  That selling point is true.  So, if you don’t excel at either, you shouldn’t play.  If you want a “test”, this is as good as I’ve found in a MUD.

On the other hand, to “survive” and to “roleplay well” are not inherently intertwined.  Intelligence/luck (survival) and roleplay ability (imagination) have very little to do with each other.

So contrary to what you might hear, this is not a den of roleplaying excellence.

It’s what every decent MUD is, in that respect:  There are a few GREAT roleplayers, there are a lot of good roleplayers, there are a lot of mediocre roleplayers, there are a fair amount of poor roleplayers, and there are a few wretched ones.

I do have a more-than-vague suspicion that there are SOME people that play because they’re nasty IRL and use this as an outlet (hey, as long as it’s in character) and a very few that play because they’re sadists.  But the majority are relatively sane.

Written while playing actively and in a good fcken mood, so take this above any prop sh1t you read anywhere else.

Ai!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Spookies (1986)

Dreadful cheezy 80’s “horror” flick.

Sufficiently ridiculous and unscary to enjoy laughing at, on occasion.  But there are many better/worse things to laugh at.

Question: How can you, “once again”, “be together for all time”?

Well, I asked for it.  To paraphrase ‘I’ll Never Heil Again’:

“I want some new ideas of sh1t movies to review!”
“Ohhh, so you want some new ideas…”
“Yeah, give ’em to me now!”
“You got ’em- *SPLAT*”

59:08-21: SLEDGEHAMMER!

Grade: D-