Dog Shot By Cop – “Internal Investigation”|main5|dl1|sec3_lnk4%26pLid%3D470237


I mean, come on.  I’m not saying I KNOW anything, but come on…think about it.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Great clip from a great movie. (housekeeping)

Bad Boys (1983)

Hey, it’s Bob Solo.  Better not let him out of the car.

After seeing the opening caption I was ready, and sure enough…spotted at 22 minutes and change.  Recurring, yet.

This is not another ‘1313’ movie, despite the title.  I’ve learned my lesson well.

Watched mainly to test my memory from age 13-14 of it being good; part I remembered best from before: future ‘Shawshank’ guard getting the sh1t beaten out of him.

It’s a very dark movie, mostly prison-type scenes.  It’s also far too long…there’s a lot of dull/mediocre sh1t that should have been trimmed, especially in the second half.  But it holds up decently for the most part.

And yeah, it’s the long version, and yeah, it’s off NF streaming IMMINENTLY.

Grade: C

Pupdate – Television/Short Subject

In case anyone’s wondering, I never review a television/cable/Netflix/etc series (Basically anything with episodes) until that series is over.

Movies are much easier since even if they’re “episodic” they take at least a year or so between “episodes”.  So reviewing them is far easier in terms of relevance.

So if you’re looking for a review of ‘House of Cards’ or ‘The Walking Dead’, you won’t find any here until both series are over, if at all.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th (2000)

The opening ‘Scream’ parody is pretty good.

The rest is a mixed bag, with lots of unfunny parodies/jokes and a few other decent ones.

Other Favs: ‘Reservoir Dogs’ slow-walk mock, recurrent driving disaster memories, and a few other ultra-quick bits.

Near the end it gets REALLY dull, unfortunately…you can pretty much turn it off after the last driving flashback.

I reviewed it because it’s off NF streaming SOON, if you care.

Grade: D

Don Hertzfeldt – Lily And Jim (1997)

A He Said/She Said buildup to a blind date between two somewhat insecure people.

Then there’s an animated date, featuring lots of dialogue (some bland, some out of place, some somewhat interesting) and a bunch of revealing and sometimes amusing thought bubbles.

It’s sort of sweet that they both seem to be trying (the guy’s thought bubbles aren’t QUITE as sweet, but he seems decent otherwise) and I found myself hoping for these two stick figure cartoon characters to get together.  Rowr.

Perhaps I’m too close to the subject, but it was a bit sad nearing and at the end and it actually made me feel…hence the grade.  Recommended to anyone socially/romantically inept/confused/depressed/anxious.

Inspirational Quote: “I would love some coffee.”

Grade: B-

Don Hertzfeldt – Genre (1996)

A rabbit is created and put through many wildly varied and conflicting scenarios by the animator.

Basically, think ‘Duck Amuck’ with a rabbit and grossness, and without nearly as much quality.

It moves along quickly and there are moments of inspired weirdness and cuteness, so I’d say go for it if you’re a fan of Don or the Daffy short.

Inspirational Suggestion: “…The Pretentious Student Film?”

Grade: C+

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 58)

Borrowing from a somewhat-obscure ‘Flying Circus’ sketch…

If you ever find yourself in an argument with someone over something that you are sure you’re right about, and they insist they’re right when they’re completely wrong, AND they refuse to consider your opinion, AND they get really nasty and mean about it, consider this useful conversation ender before turning and calmly walking away:

“What do you know about it? What do you know about getting up at five o’clock in t’morning to fly to Paris, back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer???”

Note Concerning The Last Note

Three things made better by the policy:
1) It’s easier!
2) It makes my brain hurt less
3) It’s more predictable for you, the reader.  You don’t have to go back re-reading old sh1t unless you want to just re-read it…no “searching in case of new material/edits”.  With the exceptions described.

Although 3 is the least important to me (sorry) it IS actually MORE anal than sometimes editing, sometimes not.  It’s a more (not totally, but more) rigid, predictable, “set” way of doing things.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Note Concerning Earlier Entries

Excepting things where I may “experience” the exact same thing more than once and have a different reaction (television, movies, music and the like) I will NOT go back through my entries and edit for “current feeling” or to make it be more persuasive, “look” better, be more properly worded…

I made the entries that I made.  I’m not the same person as I was when I made them…I can’t know my exact frame of mind/reference at the time of any.  Therefore, they exist with flaws and all.

There may be a VERY few exceptions to this, but generally old posts will remain old posts; as they are, left to be read as they are.

So if something I say tomorrow seems at odds with something I said three years ago…take the much older one as a snapshot of how I felt about it THEN, and the new one as how I feel about it NOW.

Also keep in mind that my satire bits don’t ALWAYS have the warning.

Conclusion: If you’ve read a post from three years ago, it’s probably not gonna be any different if you go back and read it again.

Exceptions: VERY, VERY few outside of Music (rare), Television/Short Subject (extremely uncommon), MST3K (extremely uncommon) and Movies/Long Subject (somewhat common, actually…that’s my bread and butter, man!)

-Puppy >.< Yip!

4/22/16: Content slowly and painfully edited to look better, make sad and happy smilies work, and remove/fix bad links.

Chaos Theory – At Work In Daily Life

You’d be surprised (I struggled with whether to say that or not, because YOU might not be surprised, but SOME people would…but I put it anyway, forcing me to type this explanation) at how much chaos theory impacts your life.  Even with my unbelievably simplistic Ian Malcolm-explained level of understanding of the subject, it’s extremely interesting.

Here is an example from a common everyday scenario:

Note the EXTREME divergence beginning with a simple statement at 1:51.

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Good clip from a great show. (housekeeping)

Pupdate – 4/22/14

For those of you who have enjoyed my bitter, angry, frustrated posts in the past…

Sorry 🙁

In future Puppy will be kinder and gentler because Puppy cannot tolerate the intense pain he is very frequently forced to live with.  So, in conjunction with his psychiatrist (Yeah, really, I have one!) he shall be taking a prescription medication that (probably and hopefully) rather dulls his pain, anger, and frustration.

The flip side is it will probably dull his wit, energy, (brief moments of) happiness, etc… as well.

But hey…you gotta do what you gotta do.  Hopefully my posts will retain their level of quality. 🙂 <---- content Puppy (That's content as in being content...there isn't a puppy inside my face).

Keith Richards – Marriage Counselor

Aha! Can’t find the video, but I can find the script.

Here are some brilliantly perceptive pieces of advice and encouragement given to Mick Jagger (OLD SNL SKETCH):

“Well, look, you’ll both be nervous. But, then, you remember that
you love each other, you know, and that you trust each other, and
that you’ve had two kids together.”

“It’s hard to describe, really, partly because I’m drunk.”

“I mean, like, you get a warm feeling when you’re at the studio,
and you’ve been working hard all day, and you get a call, and
it’s her. And you ask her, “Who?” You know, because you’re not
sure. You don’t remember. But then, you have a guy that you pay,
who reminds you who everyone is, and he tells you it’s your wife,
your soulmate, your friend-for-life, and it just feels great.”

Contracted (2013)

NF streaming description incorrect.  It should read, IMPO: “After making out while drunk and depressed with some guy, he rapes her”.  Just to prepare those who are expecting a one-night-stand.

It should, IMPO, further read: “He gives her some horrific illness that slowly degenerates her body, life, morality, and sanity – in that order.  Near the end she goes psycho, destroys everyone she cares about, and then is VERY briefly an infected/zombie.  The End.”

I mean, that’s it…and there’s no point.  How is this so unlike ‘Jenifer’, then?  In ‘Jenifer’ there’s a choice.  And it’s fcken scary.  This is just: “you’re fcked, you’re gonna fck over everyone you know, then you’re gonna die.  There’s nothing you can do about it.”  And it’s not scary, just gross.

Basically this tries to appeal to the gross, nasty visuals crowd.  But if you want gross, nasty visuals there are SO many movies out there that are ALL gross, nasty visuals.  So this is pointless.

The acting is decent, so I can’t possibly give this an F.  But I’d really, really like to.

Grade: D-

6/23/18: I had a feeling this was better than I gave it credit for. And I was right, sort of. The female lead is convincing, and the grossness is … interesting. There’s precious little more, but it is interesting if you LIKE gross. Not “tolerate if there’s something more to it-gross”, but LIKE. The nasty-horrible-vicious-little side of me does sometimes. Oh, and there’s a very powerful anti-lesbian message here. Methinks the director doth get rejected too much. Grade: D

The Brass Teapot (2012)

I really like the intro to this…nice flow of time to the pictures.

And the couple becomes likeable 10 mins in, when the husband shows a good sense of humor and some wit, and the wife shows (I think) faithfulness, cuteness, and obvious (I think) love.

Shortly after that the teapot arrives on scene.

I like the sorta-BDSM scene but that’s probably cuz the wife is hot.

I also like her well-worded vagina defense, which takes place during one of the last really interesting scenes (a mostly-vegan meal clash).

There ends the good portion of the review.  Because unlike how I expected this to go, it turns to (attempts at) humor and absurdity.  The humor is sometimes dark, but more often it’s medium: not light-hearted, but not good enough for dark either.  Luke-warm.

It’s just tedious after a while, the silly quality having destroyed any chance of emotional attachment or taking anything seriously…at least for me.

Eventually things end, probably as you expected them to after a certain point.

Great idea, decent start…WRONG direction.  This should have been a thriller, a creepy morality play.  Not a comedy.  Or it should have been a really funny comedy, which it wasn’t.

Grade: D

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 56)

Sometimes when I feel like absolute sh1t, I try to think of this: (3:22-3:38). (Ignore the title, it’s really stupid, I know)

And you know what?

It doesn’t do a bit of fcken good.

But hey, great movie.

French And Saunders – Episode 12 (Robbie Coltrane, June Whitfield, Lulu)

So, do they add music/dance because they think it’s GOOD?  Or just because they need to pad the…episode?  Cuz I hear love does that.

In any case this is wretched outside of the first part of the rhinoplasty sketch and an INTENSE STARE by a subtle Dawn.  That’s like…3 minutes.

Season Two ENDS here, Thank God.  This is easily their worst.  In future, I think I shall skip bad episodes as I did for other shows.  Still have to watch them though 🙁

horrible song and dance number
June Whitfield interaction/shameless promotion
Lulu’s song
really dumb song from boring sketch
yes, ANOTHER boring song
and another…
and another…
and the ending one.