It’s the feeling you get over and over; very very rarely, but consistently. You feel it wash over you, you’re awed by it. You wonder how it could possibly be so amazing and achingly beautiful. You wonder how you couldn’t see it before. You know you didn’t; there was a time the feeling was gone, it didn’t exist, but now it was evoked. Sometimes you don’t know why, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Whether you write the most beautiful poem or just sit and marvel at what it is to feel, and think, or say, “wow”…it is what matters in that moment, and that moment is pure beauty. And you wish so strongly that it didn’t have to fade, because you know it will. And you wish so strongly it would go away, because you’re too weak and awed to handle both its power and its loss. And then, slowly, it’s gone. And you go about your life; sometimes wistful, sometimes forgetting altogether, for months, years…but it always comes back. And that is worth living for.
I wonder how I’ll feel about this tomorrow?
I’m so glad I got to type this, that it came to me and I was able to let it out, using the best words I knew to capture the feelings.
If you’re ever lost, think about this.