HERE’S something not to do:
Manage to acquire some sort of business, make it really really suck, then have two friends come in during peak hours. Wait for any sort of complaint from any customer, and then…
(Friend One) :Speaking up as they stand, as if to corroborate the complaint, and saying the long insult by the Waldorf Salad guy altered as necessary, but clearly on the complainer’s side:
THEN, very quickly, friend two stands as if deeply offended, speaking up as the Major did in the Waldorf Salad episode of ‘Fawlty Towers’, and making his punchline be another crummy business that does what yours does but is even WORSE.
It’s so simple it’s BRILLIANT.