Category Archives: I Am Puppy Hear Me Degrade

Is There Life After Death?

My site’s been pretty darn still (there, it moved!) for a while now. And the way I determine that is: I don’t post much at all.

Now, popularity-wise, I’m pretty sure it’s maintained the standards set forth by me when I posted the critical masterpiece ‘Equilibrium’. Of course, it would take a Patrick Batemanian view to properly, monotonely settle that issue with certainty. Yes, it would!

I think a random group of four would probably offer this sort of view:

Results: Inconclusive.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – For a group sketch in which only one person makes any attempt at speech or movement, not bad at all.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 201)

I’d like to be one of the following:
– happy and without any mental illness
– completely insane in such a way that I’m content with how things appear to be, to me
– completely insane in such a way that I get fan mail from fcken weirdos
– a newborn baby
– an old man about to die
– living alone away from everything else with an awesome (though admittedly not BEST, RIP Duchess) dog
– A vampire, werewolf or some fantasy sh1t along those lines
– Member of some group that loves me, that I love, and that does good
– a magician
– painlessly dead and in the Great Unknown

Any of those would be great.

Interested? Just make a comment on this. Thanx bunches.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 200)

There’s one feeling/emotion that’s very difficult to experience, both in terms of actually finding oneself in an appropriate situation and in terms of the resulting brief lack of functionality.

It’s beyond despair and above hatred…it’s more akin to incredulous disbelief: How could you possibly do something so vile? How could you, WHY would you rip out my heart like that?

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Good scene from a great movie. Robert the Bruce never actually DID that, but it’s a good scene nonetheless.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 199)

You most certainly CAN win a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. But why the fck would you play the game when ANY other game would be more interesting?

Unless you’re prepping for surgery, of course.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Great scene. I did live through the end of the Cold War, after all.

As far as the Stooges go, well let’s just say that they were plucky little fellows.

Is There A Problem, Officer?

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Don’t care much for the movie, but this scene is pretty darn cool. Perfect “backstory” for the character that would eventually emerge. You see, establishing a BACKGROUND (realistic, that is) is a good thing. It’s not as necessary as establishing a character who goes through at least MILD changes in likes/dislikes/personality quirks in 50 years, but it’s up there.

A tiny bit more risky/impulsive than Anakin in Episode One. And he turned out quite different, in a good way.

It takes effort.

“Alright…we’ll take the girl if you take Frasier.”

A Jumble I

I actually was gonna make a point with visual aids about how Johnny Ringo acts cowardly in ‘Tombstone’. But silly me, I overlooked a MUCH more obvious choice: Ike Clanton.

Ike Clanton takes every chance he can get to PUSH the other side (the Earps, Holiday), but in the end, in the MOMENT (see…some moments have more importance than others…that’s why you have to live in them: you never know when a nothing moment will turn into a much more important moment), he runs away, leaving his younger brother Billy (who by all acounts fought valiantly) to die.

If you push, if you keep pushing, you better be ready for a push back. And that’s the moment of truth: Are you a coward, or aren’t you?

Of course, most people/times/occasions/etc that bluster collapse when their bluff is called. BUT…there is always the smallest chance that you’ll find someone who is NOT bluffing. And THAT (the odds) is the ONLY thing that keeps wannabes in business.

I guess the world needs ’em, huh?

Great odds they won’t call…but IF…IF they do, you better be better than Ringo vs. Holiday.

I still think that, as adapted movie warnings go, this is pretty d@mn good:

“If you ever X, I’ll make John Doe’s “SLOTH” look supremely merciful in comparison.”

Course, that’s just BS from me. But it makes a somewhat interesting reference.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Great clip from an underrated movie.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 193)

HERE’S something not to do:

Manage to acquire some sort of business, make it really really suck, then have two friends come in during peak hours. Wait for any sort of complaint from any customer, and then…

(Friend One) :Speaking up as they stand, as if to corroborate the complaint, and saying the long insult by the Waldorf Salad guy altered as necessary, but clearly on the complainer’s side:

THEN, very quickly, friend two stands as if deeply offended, speaking up as the Major did in the Waldorf Salad episode of ‘Fawlty Towers’, and making his punchline be another crummy business that does what yours does but is even WORSE.

It’s so simple it’s BRILLIANT.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 192)

James Tiberius Kirk handled it very well, of course…but I think there’s another scenario response that ought to be tried. You’ll still LOSE, of course…but you lose in STYLE, baby.

*Kobayashi Maru Commander* “This is the Kobayashi Maru…we have struck a-”

*Cadet, Interrupting* “Yeah, I know. Look, here’s an idea ladies and germs – next time your navigations officer or whatever-spacial-dangers officer says ‘Captain…we appear to be headed toward some sort of mine’, DON’T say “Ehhh…keep going”.

OR…

*Kobayashi Maru Commander* “Steady on course, helmsman.”
*Helmsman* “Ummm…begging the Captain’s pardon, but this is the area that has contained a mine each of the past 237 times we’ve entered it. Maybe we should just hook a right, or something?”

Cheers!?!

Speaking of serial killer fascination…

Lilith sums up sociopaths and why rebound-dating is bad:

“So, essentially, Frasier was a toy you played with briefly and then threw away; a fellow human being whose emotions you twisted for your own satisfaction, with no consideration for his feelings.”

MUDing – A Pupdate

“I’m … disappointed that you’ve chosen to store her, I had the pleasure to interact with her and you played her beautifully.” – ‘Armageddon’ staff

Oh, I bet you tell that to all the boys.

And you’re not the first! I’ve turned down several people already today. Still, we’ll get around it.

Conclusion: I guess I’m the Boogie Cousins of roleplaying.

P.S. – The hardest part of Forgotten Kingdoms roleplay is pretending, in character, that Gwain’s incredibly dull and persistent (and unpunished) obvious anachronistic stupidity doesn’t make you want to either puke or kick him in the nuts. Projectile vomit, maybe?

I was there YEARS ago, and also DAYS ago.

And no sidewinding, bushwhacking, hornswoggling, cracker-croaker is gonna roll my bishercutter!

And his roleplay hasn’t changed. Not at all. So, obviously, there’s been no punishment for his OBVIOUS and CONTINUAL violations of supposed “roleplay enforcement”, making the claim of “roleplay enforcement” just a huge pile of untrue advertising bullsh1t.

I’m not talking about things that are borderline. I’m not talking about a mistake once in a while. I’m not talking about “hey what’s up” instead of “Ho there, yon dapper fellow! Howst farest thee this day?”

I’m talking about persistent, constant, incessant, FOR YEARS, blatant, impossible-to-ignore and impossible-to-respond-in-character-to anachronisms.

As long as he’s there, every “rule” they have is worthless. Because they do NOT “enforce” roleplay. He is a living, breathing, anachronism-spewing example of that.

As to WHY…I can’t possibly imagine. It’s not like he’s even INTERESTING in his rule-breaking. He’s not even FUNNY when he does it. He’s DULL. DULL, DULL, My GOD he’s dull…and irrepressibly drab and awful.

Anyways, my job here is done. Now, the ritualistic sex.

2/25/17: Also, please feel free to try ‘The Burning Post’ 2.1. Because if you’re looking for a MUD where you can put in a lot of effort without worrying about the IMP getting bored and doing a “soft reboot”…this ain’t it. BUT, he’ll gladly tell you about his personal life and talk about how much he wishes he was playing other games. Because, after all, it’s “more of a”…(chat channel?)…”than a MUD”.

Caveats (I need to brush my MUDs more often): Shard is very helpful. Psyche is pretty helpful. Most of the players are fairly helpful, and decent RPers. Some are pretty darn good, actually. Vis:

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A decent clip from an…ok episode. Idle does his best to carry the show post-Cleese.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 186)

If you’re ever in a conflict with another (verbal, mental, physical, checkers…) and it becomes incredibly obvious that you’ve essentially won, but they simply refuse to concede defeat, just look at them and say with mild annoyance: “Look, you stupid b@stard, you’ve got no arms left!”

Saves a lot of time and hey, they ain’t worth it.

I think this could become the next great catchphrase in the Trump era.

*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE*

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – The clip is intended to portray a conflict of words and also someone betrayed by their arrogance. It does both well.