Category Archives: I Am Puppy Hear Me Degrade

Jokey!

Ok…if you were from the Scandinavian Peninsula, and you also happened to be a character in the game “Mortal Kombat”…and you were fighting someone else in the game, and you had them almost beaten, and they were helpless and you could execute a really cool finishing move on them…what would it say?

“Finnish Him!”

HA!

-Puppy >.< Grrr…

Rantings, Ravings, Innings…

I believe John Cleese’s character Dennis Moore (The Lupin Bandit) said it best, regarding the idea of the practicality of Communism – “Blimey…this redistribution of wealth is trickier than I thought.”

To all Poser-Goths (As opposed to real ones) wondering why your bf/gf dumped you, I would suggest listening to the Type O Negative song “Black No. 1” and focusing on the second chorus.

The great thing about having a Poser-Goth bf/gf is that, if you’re having sex, and you say “Did you…?” and you MEAN it…and they say “No”…and you say “Oh, I’m sorry!” and you MEAN it, and they shrug and say “I don’t care”…you know THEY mean it too!

-Puppy >.< Grrr…

Spiders – A Rational Argument

I recently spoke with someone that expressed their dislike of people that kill spiders or other parasites because they are afraid of them.

But, while I appreciate the legitimacy of that argument, what about the small, silent minority of us that kill spiders because they take up valuable protein that could otherwise nourish us?

Thanks for your time.

*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE…*

-Puppy >.< Grrr…

Dumb-Boy Bad-Voice

funshinebobby
[1:48 A.M.]:  Because people do things that people don’t know about.<BR>  
funshinebobby [1:49 A.M.]:  You don’t know about the Mafia.<BR> funshinebobby
[1:49 A.M.]:  Because I do.<BR> funshinebobby [1:49 A.M.]:  It’s real easy to
act tough and scary online.<BR> funshinebobby [1:50 A.M.]:  But when it comes
down to it, in real life, you couldn’t hold a fucking stare to someone with an
actual sick head.<BR> funshinebobby [1:50 A.M.]:  And that’s the reason you look
for trouble in a place where you can’t be reached.<BR>funshinebobby [1:50 A.M.]:
 Because you’re a coward.<BR>funshinebobby [1:50 A.M.]:  And what happens to
cowards?<BR>funshinebobby [1:50 A.M.]:  They die.</DIV>

<P><BR>Funshinebobby(Robert Vasaturo aka “Dunny Bono” aka Dead MC aka arson
daily)…likes WXCI, 91.7 FM…23 year old white male…Danbury,
CT…www.myspace.com/mizterie…Agnostic…Aries…New Fairfield High
School…New Fairfield, CT…</DIV>

NOW BEHOLD THE AWFUL PRICE OF TREASON

What the FCK are you talking about, Robbie?  Didn’t they pick you up in that sting anyways?

-Puppy >.< Grrr…

Review of every Woody Allen movie

Dull-Ugly-Pretentious-Boy Loses Girl.
Dull-Ugly-Pretentious-Boy Makes Lots of Dull, Pretentious Jokes.
Dull-Ugly-Pretentious-Boy Impresses Girl.
Dull-Ugly-Pretentious-Boy Lives Happily Ever After With Girl(Until Next Movie).

Or, as Tom Servo reviewed the MST3K short “A Date With Your Family”…

“The Woody Allen Story!”

-Puppy >.< Grrr…

Con Air V. Fight Club

Both achieve approximately the same level of intelligence.

9/9/12: ERROR…ERROR…ERROR…’Con Air’ is smarter.

But ‘Con Air’ blows more sh1t up

9/9/12: YEAH!

…and its Hero (Cameron Poe) is much more likable than ‘Fight Club”s “Hero”…umm…who would that be, exactly?

9/9/12: “The looney was of course the WRITER, Sir Walter Scott.” *Sir Walter Scott* “I didn’t write that…sounds more like Dickens.” * Charles Dickens* “You b@stard!” – MPFC

Winner:  Con Air (Mediocre beating Mediocre posing as Social Commentary)

Depeche Mode – A Non-Puppy Perspective

Music for the Masses (Sire, 1987)

“When Vince Clarke departed Yazward in 1982, Fashion-in-a-Hurry’s commercial doom was presumed sealed, whereupon Martin Gore went ahead and proved how easy it is to write ditties once you’re in a position to exploit them. It’s not as if anybody can, but at this point in pop’s progress potential supply far exceeds potential demand. Yet only rarely is the production process altogether mechanical. Gore can’t create without venting his shallow morbidity, which happens to mesh with a historically inevitable strain of adolescent angst, and he takes himself seriously enough to have burdened albums with concept and such. This time, however, the title announces his determination to give it up to his even shallower singer, David Gahan, who likes Gore’s message because it’s a good way to impress girls. Dark themes combine with light tunes until the very end of side two. Anybody with an interest in adolescent angst (adolescents included) can sob or giggle along as the case may be. B+”

– Robert Christgau

PRIVATE MEMO

To – Rex Ryan
From – Every Other NFL Coach

Thanks so much! May we show our appreciation by extending your
contract for the rest of your life, and enrolling you in WW?

P.S. – Bill Belichick thinks you should bury a Big Mac this time.

P.P.S. – How do you hold an opposing quarterback to 55 yards and LOSE? Genius.

P.P.P.S. – You can use “Fat Bastard”, Mike Myers won’t sue.

12/4/12: I can’t believe it’s necessary to say this, BUT, for the incredibly stupid…I am NOT making fun of overweight people.  I’m making fun of R.R. because he’s an ignorant, loud-mouthed, trash-talking wannabe/joke.  He just happens to also be overweight.  If he weighed 100 pounds I would have made a “thin” joke.  It’s called “humor”…see how that works?  Peace.

Calling All Intelligent New Yorkers

There’s a major misconception out there that New Yorkers and Bostonians hate each other.

This is just not true.

I don’t hate New Yorkers…I hate ignorant, belligerent, arrogant morons.

I don’t care where they’re from, where they live, what their gender is, etc…

So, please…and I mean this in all sincerity…if you are an intelligent New Yorker who, like myself, realizes there are plenty of perfectly legitimate reasons to dislike people or not on an individual basis, PLEASE post a comment supporting me (Puppy) in my efforts to bridge the gap between East and…East.

Thank You.

-Puppy

P.S. – AJ Burnett isn’t nearly as bad as people say…I mean, he’s having a horrible year, sure…but he’s only so disappointing because he HAS been very good in the past.  I mean…when we signed Lackey, and people said he was an “ace”, I EXPECTED him to suck…so I wasn’t disappointed.  Too bad Beckett followed in his lead, but hey…I tip my cap to the better team (this year), and hope my Sox force a one-game playoff so that Sabathia has to start against Price

Peace.