Unfunny bordering on embarassing.
I was worried it might be this bad, and it is. I only have one episode to work with, because I refuse to waste more time on this when I can be wasting it somewhere else.
At no point do I get the feeling of “hey, that was inspired” or “hey, nice message in joke form”.
By now there are so many people doing this sort of thing that it’s just another failed re-creation.
Let it go, guys.
Inspirational Quote from a long-ago MST3K sketch: “It stinks.”
The worst Herc in another really bad Herc movie. The riffing isn’t very good either.
Another cheezy Herc flick. Riffing’s not so great.
X’s of Y’s
Cheezy/boring “adventure” movie. They seem to be up for it, so the
riffing makes it tolerable.
Instant Karma powder
mostly decent riffing
Inspirational Quote: “I love my dead Greek son!”
Boring “action-adventure” flick. A few bad-funny parts and a few good riffs.
Space Mutiny warmup
Herc’s enjoyable violence
Inspirational Quote: “…and under the evil influence of Uranus…”
A lot of tedium, a few good jokes, a bunch of ok ones. Most of the riffs pretty much completely provide themselves.
NO! time to lose
T. Servo’s rant
horrendous fish argument
Another Gamera movie. A few good jokes and a sh1t film.
the itchy angle
More of a comedy (on purpose) than the previous ones. Still horrible, but the riffing is noticeably better.
the Gamera song
Gamera’s brief exercise routine
Basically one good joke and Joel doing some palooka talk.
And the rest is useless.
A giant spinning fire-turtle with split personalities confuses the general public.
Movie’s boring, riffing isn’t so great. Took me three tries to get through this awake.
the occasional decent riff
the theme song, on attempt 3
I’ve decided, since a few of the few I haven’t watched are on NF
streaming, that I’ll watch a bit more MST3K and review ’em.
Absolutely no Elvis sightings, though.
Ed Wood’s riveting portrayal of the danger men face from violent girl gangs. His message: with a dress, caress. And so the MST reviewing ends.
Great holdup scene re-creation in the ending host segment.
Young Man’s Fancy short
Ministry samples (sounded vaguely familiar…thanks, A.S./cute kitty)
pretty good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “Hundreds of men flock to crime scene”
Cr@ppy wanna-be Hercules type guy leads a stupid adventure. Lots of stomach clenching, lots of padding.
Interesting bridges (Temple of Doom, a foot over shallow water)
dance for the Gods of Awkward Movie Padding
Inspirational Quote: “For the first time people don’t know where to look.”
Features some diabolical acting and some diabolical music but not much diabolical laughter.
The show’s plotline is that Mike and the Bots get home. Watch it for that if you want.
Inspirational Quote: “Mmm…something non-penis.”
Unbearable German version with obvious jokes.
Merlin comes to modern times to sell stuff; Ernest Borgnine alternately bores and traumatizes a small child.
pretty good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “He blamed your wiener.”
Bulky guy and a bunch of dancers quickly get stranded on an impeccable lifeboat, forced to resist the urge to eat one another. Then there’s an island and sort of a spider thing, and persistent half-nakedness.
SEXY horror music
intense dance auditions
Inspirational Quote: “We can’t hold out much longer”
A man suffers through an unfortunate trauma after keing kitten ky a kat.
totally serious-intended movie totally sucking
cheezy FX/tension/tension music
if the hospital bracelet doesn’t fit, you must noughta bit
decent riffing at times
Inspirational Quote: “Please don’t succumb to the urge to eat each other.”
It’s about war…OF THE FUTURE. With exploding dinos.
Because I don’t really want to watch them, I’m finishing these last MST reviews slow and steady, like the noble crab.
Fee Tines A Mady
a few good jokes
Inspirational Quote: “Well, I am Belgian.”
Lame road movie turns into lame crime movie. With LOTS of dancing, and bad music. Mostly dancing, really…just watch the intro credits for the general plot.
This movie is really scraping and so is the riffing.
PearlTV bits are surprisingly ok.
Raul Julia brings a small level of interest and class to an otherwise dumb “future”/fascism movie.
“Well, it is an unpleasant (movie), certainly. But I don’t think we had enough of the really gross awfulness we’re looking for.” – Lady Organs
It’s about an ugly, unappealing hypnotist/ventriloquist who shows plenty of eye and lid action. Just a lucky coincidence for me after the last one.
It tries to be really dark and scary. It succeeds at dark, and somewhat creepy – reminiscent of a pretty good, extra-long Twilight Zone episode in a way, although it becomes more tedious and less creepy as it goes along.
the movie itself having a mild interest factor(!?!)
two-person one-man scene
Inspirational Quote: “Smell it. It has a lovely bouquet.”
Pearl hijacks brainguy’s brain in a fairly amusing opening sketch.
Movie is non-scary horror, or non-exciting thriller featuring an ugly, unappealing hypnotist. Lots of AA closeups with plenty of eye and lid action to showcase this.
lots of SLEEEEP!
brilliant standing around and not-acting
pretty good riffing
“I shall touch you and soon you’ll be asleep.”
“Oh, like every night.”
See Frank on his fairly quick but time-staggered journey to second-banana Heaven, accompanied by Torgo. And an old cheezy slowwwww-paced Mexican horror flick.
Could have been a lot more inspired for a last hurrah.
sudden chunky masked guy with spiffy cape
solid evidence that the WWF/E originated in Mexico
Pearl and Mike switch places for part of the movie, which isn’t all THAT bad as these go. But it’s pretty boring, and so is the riffing. And the move reeks more of desperation than inspiration.