Category Archives: MST3K Reviews

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return

Unfunny bordering on embarassing.

I was worried it might be this bad, and it is. I only have one episode to work with, because I refuse to waste more time on this when I can be wasting it somewhere else.

At no point do I get the feeling of “hey, that was inspired” or “hey, nice message in joke form”.

By now there are so many people doing this sort of thing that it’s just another failed re-creation.

Let it go, guys.

Inspirational Quote from a long-ago MST3K sketch: “It stinks.”

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Violent Years (1994)

Ed Wood’s riveting portrayal of the danger men face from violent girl gangs.  His message: with a dress, caress.  And so the MST reviewing ends.

Great holdup scene re-creation in the ending host segment.

Highlights:
Young Man’s Fancy short
Wood jokes
brilliant direction
brilliant acting
girl jokes
Ministry samples (sounded vaguely familiar…thanks, A.S./cute kitty)
pretty good riffing

Inspirational Quote: “Hundreds of men flock to crime scene”

Grade: B

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Devil Doll (1997)

It’s about an ugly, unappealing hypnotist/ventriloquist who shows plenty of eye and lid action.  Just a lucky coincidence for me after the last one.

It tries to be really dark and scary.  It succeeds at dark, and somewhat creepy – reminiscent of a pretty good, extra-long Twilight Zone episode in a way, although it becomes more tedious and less creepy as it goes along.

Highlights:
the movie itself having a mild interest factor(!?!)
Brit jokes
two-person one-man scene
decent riffing

Inspirational Quote: “Smell it.  It has a lovely bouquet.”

Grade: C-

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The She Creature (1997)

Pearl hijacks brainguy’s brain in a fairly amusing opening sketch.

Movie is non-scary horror, or non-exciting thriller featuring an ugly, unappealing hypnotist.  Lots of AA closeups with plenty of eye and lid action to showcase this.

Highlights:
lots of SLEEEEP!
newspaper mocking
brilliant standing around and not-acting
pretty good riffing

Inspirational Exchange:
“I shall touch you and soon you’ll be asleep.”
“Oh, like every night.”

Grade: C+