{"id":909,"date":"2013-01-19T03:34:49","date_gmt":"2013-01-19T03:34:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/2013\/01\/underworld-2003\/"},"modified":"2013-01-19T03:34:49","modified_gmt":"2013-01-19T03:34:49","slug":"underworld-2003","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/2013\/01\/19\/underworld-2003\/","title":{"rendered":"Underworld (2003)"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/font>Ok, so supposedly this is Vampires\/Werewolves For Morons.<\/p>\n

And in a lot of ways, it is.  The story is often cliche and never really surprising in any way.  Aside from Kate Beckinsale and (to a lesser extent) Scott Speedman, and maybe a coupla others with bit parts so who gives a sh1t, the acting is pretentious, cliche, and dull.<\/p>\n

The “romance” is pretty predictable, but it’s still kinda fun to watch because it involves the only two relevant characters that aren’t pretentious, cliche, and dull.<\/p>\n

The FX are good and it’s very stylish and dark in a smooth, seemingly effortless way.  Which is great during action scenes, but useless when something has to be acted out, explained, or discussed.<\/p>\n

Based on her acrobatic ability, deadliness, funky black outfit and taste for blood I dub Beckinsale’s character ‘Aeon Sux’. She speaks with a British accent so that makes her more interesting, of course.  And what she says by definition has more meaning, as well.<\/p>\n

So yeah, it’s pretty fcken dumb.  But it’s well-made enough that it’s a bit of fun if you like this sort of thing.  Vampires, werewolves, forbidden romances, dark gothiness, extreme pretension…stuff like that.<\/p>\n

Further installments promise to suck.<\/p>\n

As for sides, how can you take one?  I mean, what do the vampires and werewolves both do?  They try to kill each other.  Isn’t that what different groups of humans do?  <\/p>\n

Extreme power, same base unevolved morality.<\/p>\n

I’ll take the guard dogs any day.  If only the vampires hadn’t imitated humans yet again, and taught them to be vicious when they’re born to be loving.<\/p>\n

Grade: D+<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ok, so supposedly this is Vampires\/Werewolves For Morons. And in a lot of ways, it is.  The story is often cliche and never really surprising in any way.  Aside from Kate Beckinsale and (to a lesser extent) Scott Speedman, and maybe a coupla others with bit parts so who gives a sh1t, the acting is … Continue reading “Underworld (2003)”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movielong-subject-reviews","category-puppy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/909"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=909"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/909\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/puppy.dapuppy.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}