X (2022)

Cr@ppy graphic horror movie with obligatory sex.

Is it meant to be scary, truly scary? Or is it meant to be a sort of grotesque, over-the-top parody?

…Cuz it’s dull and/or laughable as often as it’s “OUCH!” or “D@MN!” worthy.

Direction, acting, dialogue, pacing, believable gore, actual “message”…all lacking.

Best timing: The alligator.

Off Netflix on 6/30/24

Grade: F

Westborough Behavioral Healthcare Hospital

I’d like to state, first of all, that I am NOT a professional critic. I am, however, an amateur critic with opinions *acting* as one.

I’d like to suggest a new slogan:

“Think your life is a waking nightmare? Well, come here, and we’ll show you what that REALLY is!”

On a scale of 0 to 10, I give it a .1 (Good food, yum yum).

*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE*

– Puppy

Popcorn In Bed – First Time Watching – Unforgiven (1992)

Very good movie, so that’s a good start.

The commentator is laid-back, and provides some interesting commentary but also plenty of bland commentary, which can be a distraction from the movie.

I find that terrible movies (‘The Room’, ‘Birdemic: Shock And Terror’, ‘Manos: The Hands Of Fate’, etc…) tend to do better in first-time watchings, because you don’t miss anything in the large bits and pieces that you miss (darn copyright).

Grade: B-

The Call Of Cthulhu – HorrorBabble Audiobook (2023)

I really like this narrator. Plenty of lip and tongue action. (JOKE)

Quite formal and pleasing, actually.

Gets creepy after the necessary intro.

Periods of great description here.

A must for Cthulhu fans, and a good intro for others.

You have to be in the mood to really appreciate it.

Just wish H.P. had left out the racism.

Inspirational Quote: “Someday he would call, when the stars were ready…”

Grade: A-

Creep 2 (2017)

SO redundant…wait, no, it’s a *female* being “hired” this time. “Really threw us a curveball there!” (Thanks, Jen!!)

Mark Duplass is actually not bad at what he does here. But what he does is talk like a genial total sociopath and never show the tiniest bit of real emotion. There’s a certain fascinaton to it, yes…but when you get down to it, there are plenty of other movies that present extreme aberrations in human beings, and actually have *more* to them than simply that.

It’s not exactly Joker and Harley Quinn.

27:38 – And they’re off!

Inside the mind of a serial killer? Not really sure if it’s creep(y) or laughably bad…I lean one way, then the other, grumbling at the notes I have to take for this review.

There is some actual tension and uncertainty near the end.

I’m at a bit of a loss. It’s not dark enough for the truly demented, but it’s not laughable enough for MST3K fans.

An interesting…attempt.

Grade: D

And Then There Were None – YouTube Audiobook (2021)

“Very good speaking voice.” – Michael Palin

That’s very important, because at just over 6 listening hours, disliking the voice might be a deal-breaker.

1:15 – Good so far, without the real tension even starting.

1:33:04 – Necessary exposition.

Drags a bit at times. But, stay tuned.

3:52:50 – Ummmm yeah, there’s been a lot of dragging.

Found myself wanting to scream: “Check the rhyme, you stupid b@stards!”

4:05:56 – FINALLY…appropriate paranoia and suitable somewhat-intelligent behavior.

It’s a decent way to pass six hours without feeling either annoyed, overly challenged, or *totally* bored at predictability.

Grade: C+

It’s A Good Life – YouTube Audiobook (2020)

From the 1953 novel by Jerome Bixby.

Nice, pleasant reading makes it even more consistently creepy.

You get a lot more info/background about what/why/how Anthony thinks and does than the ‘Twilight Zone’ episode.

I actually don’t like that, though…he’s more scary when you know less about him. Adds more worry and uncertainty.

I think the TZ episode is better than this, actually. But it’s still good.

Inspirational Quote: “…its eyes gleaming in small black terror.”

Grade: B

Black Mirror – Episode 14 (USS Callister)

Obvious ‘Star Trek’ opening. Let’s see what sort of horrific twist they can pull off on that.

Haha…nice transition to reality.

Wow…weird transition to “reality”.

WOW…ummm, it kicks in. I shouldn’t really have doubted it so much, there’s so much potential based on past performance.

Very good acting, as usual.

Poor Captain what’s-his-name…a man who has lost so much – and feels so much bitterness and rage – in reality, that he has to take his (EXTREME) feelings out on those in his continued fantasy life because he’s too afraid to do anything but trudge along in his dismal, has-been real life.

I mean, ‘Galaxy Quest’ has-been-ness is understandably depressing and frustrating…but you don’t see Alan Rickman’s character doing more than having the occasional private meltdown and *snatching* pictures-to-sign. And he’s the *most* bitter.

Virtually infallible lucid dreaming, every time.

Amazing. And, from what I understand of ‘The Matrix’, dangerous…dangerously tempting.

Inspirational Quote: “Stealing my pu$$y…is a red *fcken* line!”

MST3K Shorts-a-thon

Available on YouTube as of this writing.

Really good stuff: even the worst shorts aren’t THAT bad (bad as in unfunny). They all suck, of course, without riffing.

The riffing on them seems to be at a really high level pretty consistently.

Just minimize the boring/annoying ones, they’re pretty…short.

Grade: A-

5/2/24: Shorts-a-thons come and Shorts-a-thons go, but Shorts lists are forever.

Reel Reviews With Jen! – First Time Watching – 8MM (1999)

Jen seems like a very decent, genuine person at heart, so it’s easy to buy her surprised/shocked/horrified reactions at the goings-on in this film.

The goings-on are pretty horrible and I’m reminded again that there’s so much potential for this to be great, but unfortunately every time I have hope Nic Cage (thankfully without bees) shows up on the screen.

Jen! rambles a bit too much at the end, but has some interesting tidbits.

Grade: D+

5/1/24: Re-watch before post. *shrug* I have different moods.

Jen’s commentary is much more a friendly-Canadian intrusion every time you feel the power and darkness of the film.

Don’t watch this…watch the film yourself, or with people that don’t talk a lot during movies.

Inspirational Quote: “Oh my God, he’s a monster…he’s a monster…”

Grade: D (lowered a notch to clarify how much better it is by itself, and full-length).

Crocodile Dundee II (1988)

It’s not horrible, but it’s kinda…sad, in a way.

I mean, it’s a somewhat-hollow echo of the original, inspiring more nostalgia than amusement.

And the serious plot element is strictly functional. And, well…so are the jokes.

It’s just a relic, hanging on for dear life. Not horrible, but not really worth your time.

14:22 – Smuggler’s Blues?
17:01 – Pachanga?
28:49 – Now *that* is what I call a phone.

Grade: D

The Puppet Masters – YouTube Audiobook (2023)

Reading of 1951 novel.

I find the narrator’s voice dull and kind of annoying at the same time, and there are definite lulls in the material.

But I find MOST of the material at least somewhat interesting.

Docked a notch for blatant sexism and another for blatant repetitive-political-statement-over-sci-fi-entertainment.

Grade: D+

The Lighthouse – HorrorBabble Audiobook by Aaron Vlek (2024)

A newbie! Of course, every Cthulhu mythos fan wants to write Cthulhu mythos; some can, some can’t.

And so I listen…(gotta admit part of why is that I Luv the narrator’s voice and intonation).

Rule One: NEVER apply to Miskatonic University.
Rule Two: Leave Innsmouth well enough alone.
Rule Three: Follow advice to ignore anything smelling of Cthulhu at least as much as Denzel Washington’s character should (have) regarding Azazel in ‘Fallen’.
Rule Four: No Pickmans!
Rule Five: There is NO RULE FIVE!
Rule Six: No Pickmans.
Rule Seven: Allow the creepiness to wash over you.
Rule Eight: If you don’t follow Rule Seven, DON’T LISTEN TO IT, not worth it.
Rule Nine: Like most things Cthulhu-esque, not for the weak of heart.
Rule Ten: Nothing to see/hear.
Rule Eleven: No Pickmans.

Hmmmmm…gets better when it gets to the point. Surprisingly so, actually.

Nicely (and appropriately) wordy.

I was worried it would be a moody/wordy imitation of the best Cthulhu-esque-ness. Imagine my surprise when it got better as it went along, and I stopped thinking of how to say “meh” and how TO say “This is good stuff”.

The Puppy is a harsh critic. But this is good stuff.

Inspirational Quote: “We ‘Dreamswimmers’…took to the lands of dream like otters to a roaring brook…”

Grade: B+

Cujo (2023 YouTube Audiobook)

Ok, so…really bad narration in the convenient version I listened to. Mechanical and with pause s in-the-wrong … places, at times.

And T does NOT equal I.

On the other hand, it’s got the text nicely printed out for you as well, if you’d like to inflate your view. It even simulates turning pages.

King goes with LOTS of exposition here. But the incredibly mundane and relatively boringly normal (IMPO, and relative to the actual – and very real – building horror aspects) lead up doing the dueling-banjo thing with the building horror aspects make them even more horrible (in a scary sense, I mean).

It’s also scarier overall as things get more and more unsettled in non-Cujo portions, knowing that the build is happening (and even more foreboding, that THE build is only paused…that for everything and anything that may happen, good or bad, to whatever degree…poor Cujo is suffering most of all. Suffering from a painful and terrifying (to self and others) descent into intolerable pain – and then – insanity.

The disintegration that takes place is quite sad. He *IS* a good dog. But it happens nevertheless.

Interesting and well done, I think, in working the nominal plot with the under-plots.

Seems well-written in general, like King gives a sh1t (this time, at least).

Shock trauma, eh? Portent of ‘Survivor Type’?

Characters are fairly interesting, pretty well-defined, multi-dimensional.

Quite a bit of character behavior shows that some humans don’t require rabies to act with vicious/insane mental deterioration.

Yeah, I can still cry. Rarely, but still.

Inspirational Quote: “It was THE BOY, THE BOY, and THE BOY had never done him any harm. Once he had loved THE BOY and would have died for him had that been called for…The last of the dog that had been before the bat scratched its nose turned away, and the sick and dangerous dog, subverted for the last time, was forced to turn with it.”

Grade: A-

At The Mountains Of Madness – HorrorBabble Audiobook (2018)

Love the narrator’s voice for the material (and also the basic subject), so very hopeful/eager for it to be good.

I find it interesting, when I’m in the right mood. Rather boring, when I’m not.

You want description? Talk about description. I mean, I find Tolkien’s (for example) verbosity mostly boring, but I enjoy a mild uneasiness through most of this (How long is it? That’s rather a personal question…about 4:49).

The best parts are in the beginning – a long lead-up that you know will lead to something odd and probably disastrous – and, after a long middle portion, a return to creepy insinuation and at last some payoff.

Good source of background info on the beginnings of various Cthulhu mythos ideas. So, if you plan on reading everything Lovecraftian, decide how much background info you want vs. how much total mystery you want.

This is more an extensive introduction to the Elder Ones, Shoggoths, Cthulhu spawn, etc… than it is a scary story. The lead-up to the scary story part is fairly interesting because you know something odd and nasty is going to happen. But after the odd and nasty happening, the speculation and evaluation go on for QUITE a while, serving the purpose of a biography for any further Lovecraft readings you may wish to do. So if you don’t want a whole sh1tload of that, you may find this rather tedious.

I think it’s worth listening to, once.

Grade: C+

Just SUMM Reactions – First Time Watching – The Room (2003, listed in YouTube as 2005)

One of the worst movies ever. There are so many that I won’t hand out the title that easily, I’ll let you decide for yourself. But this is definitely one of the best worst ever.

I think watching a reaction video is perfect for ‘The Room’, because it shows only the worst of the worst, so you waste less time being awed by just THE worst of one of THE worst. Good job by Emily guiding the room-virgins through it; it’s DEFINITELY better watching it with someone else.

The intro and outro are the only subpar parts.

Grade: B+

Ashleigh Burton – First Time Watching – The Thing (1982) Movie Reaction

I like Ashleigh’s reactions in general, she’s laid back and also interesting; seems natural.

Nothing really *special* here, but a solid entry.

Wish there was much more footage and commentary *shrug*

Inspirational Quote: “Was John Carpenter OK?”

Grade: D+

Just SUMM Reactions – First Time Watching – Birdemic: Shock And Terror (2010)

The movie is a horrific piece of trash that is ripe for mockery.

It’s a husband and wife duo doing the reaction.

The wife, Emily, is at times adorable and at times out of her mind upset; and right on point with her commentary and physical reactions. Some good lines, some repellant physical shielding (to no avail).

The movie pummels you into submission and just doesn’t let up.

Nice post-movie rant also.

Inspirational Quote: “Anyway, I hear a mountain lion…”

Grade: B

Reel Reviews With Jen! – First Time Watching – Birdemic: Shock And Terror (2010)

I like Jen overall: she’s affable and she doesn’t seem to be trying too hard.

Interesting and intelligent commentary at times, I think.

Very few painful moments from her, and she’s good at pointing out the numerous painful moments in the movie.

About the movie…yeah, it’s bad. Really, really bad. Goes from a really bad setup to an even worse EXPLOSION of SHOCK AND TERROR!!!

Just…cr@p after cr@p after cr@p. Really nothing to salvage this. I wouldn’t say it’s QUITE as bad as ‘The Room’, but it is pretty darn horrific.

Inspirational Quote: “Oh. Oh…oh, no…ohhhhhh noooooo…..”

Grade: B

Nikki & Steven React – First Time Watching – The Thing (1982) Movie Reaction

Man: Boring /annoying
Woman: Loud, too much d@mn swearing, but the occasional cool line.

Not worth it, especially given all your available FTW choices.

Inspirational Quote: “Is that the Millennium Falcon?”

Grade: D-

Survivor Type (YouTube Audiobook From 1985 Stephen King Short Story)

Fairly boring in the beginning, but…you can’t get much more creepy and grotesque while still being listenable as it proceeds.
Unfortunately you can’t get much more petulant and annoying than the narrator.
But still, like…wow. I mean…it seems realistic.
Makes you feel better about your own life, even when you feel like sh1t. Boring parts, yes…parts that go on too long.
But the feeling of dread you’ll probably get is served by these at least.

Let’s eat!

Grade: B-

Natalie Gold – First Time Watching – The Thing (1982) Movie Reaction

Want an emotional watch-partner? Well, she certainly qualifies for that. If, on the other hand, you hate screams, avoid at all costs.

She’s also emotional in gentle, pro-dog ways, which is cool.

Her analysis is a lot more basic than it is deeply analytical, so take that into consideration as well.

Grade: C+

The Media Knights – First Time Watching – The Thing (1982) Movie Reaction

A fairly-dynamic duo that works well together at watching and interjecting watches ‘The Thing’ and doesn’t skimp.

Some good commentary on the intellectual aspects and different hypotheses.

I could do with a little less overall moviemaking commentary near the end.

And I wonder how much of the camaraderie is genuine. But assuming it is, this is worth your time for both “watching partners” and good critical analysis.

Inspirational Quote: “Let alien dogs lie.”

Grade: B

High On Music – First Time Watching – The Thing (1982) Movie Reaction

Love her nails.

But on to the reaction…

She tends to ramble, sometimes about the subject at hand and sometimes about irrelevant mush.

But since the whole point of these is watching (part of) movies “with someone else” that hasn’t seen them before, then their quirks could potentially just make them more interesting to watch along with.

However I think there isn’t enough charm and too much mediocre-level analysis (as well as too many superior versions of ‘The Thing’ reaction videos) for this to be worth your time. Maybe give it a quick peek and decide for yourself.

Grade: D

Sinister Southernbelle Reacts – First Time Watching – The Thing (1982) Movie Reaction

I was about to set this aside for the day or even dismiss it entirely, when I found that the host had some wit and natural brassiness to her. Still wasn’t sure how good it’d be, but worth a chance. *shrug*

I think in some cases (like this one, for example) the camerawork in a movie is a bit chaotic and imperfect for intentional reasons of tension, chaos and such, mostly re: horror movies…so we’ll agree (her and I) to disagree about that.

Highlights:
White Girl Dance Party
Alternate Ending finally made clear
Complex mathematics
*Censored*
More complex mathematics

Lowlights:
Plenty of jokes/clips fall flat…not horrific, just dull.
The movie itself is shown backwards. That is, right to left.

It has enough interest points, IMPO, especially as a new entry in the ‘First Time Watching’ genre, to be given a chance. But it’s just too flawed to rate it any higher.

Grade: C

Centane – First Time Watching – The Thing (1982) Movie Reaction

On the plus side, she seems intelligent and rather natural in her reaction. Like, not going overboard for viewers.

Quite frankly I find her a bit on the clinical side…I could go for a bit more emotion. But the only way to really know if this (and if her personality) is a good co-watch with you is to give it a shot.

She also speaks Norwegian, which is good if you want to know what the Norwegian man with a rifle is saying at the beginning.

Me, I find that her translation takes away from some of the mystery of the film. And that’s what it’s all about…who is who is it and when and where and how (and sometimes why)?

The movie being watched gives it its quality, but there are several other FTW examples of it that I prefer.

Inspirational Quote: “Checkmate…checkmate…”

Grade: C

First Time Watching – Reaction Videos

A great way to watch ‘The Thing’ fifteen times in the same day and have each watch vary at least slightly.

Basically, “First Time Watching” videos are for when you’re lonely and want to watch a movie with someone but noone else is into it.

A very useful purpose, I think, at times. The trick is finding the co-watchers that you enjoy co-watching with. So to that purpose, there are a lot of possibilities.

I would recommend giving each a try, and finding out which you like and which you don’t, simple as that. I’ll be watching and reviewing a lot of said reaction videos, with a review of the first-timers typically as well as the subject. That’s a very important part of the enjoyment here.

SPOILER AND NOTE: For copyright purposes, they DO NOT watch the entire film in their videos. So it’s more for re-watching an edited version of a film you know you like (‘The Thing’, I’m lookin’ at you) with someone you know you’ll enjoy watch discovering and reacting to for the first time.

The Russian Sleep Experiment (2014 Audiobook)

Creepy(pasta) story that I listened to several times before this review.

I had initially been a bit more negative to it, as I thought it over-rated, but I think I was over-reacting in the other direction because it’s not a work of sheer brilliance.

In the final analysis, it piques my interest with a natural morbid curiosity and somewhat-originality; disturbing descriptions, disturbing behaviors, and a rather disturbing descent into insanity. And the picture is worth several thousand words.

My only complaint is that the beginning is a bit slow.

Inspirational Quote: “Keep cutting.”

Grade: B+

The Sleep Experiment (2022)

Full-length film inspired by ‘The Russian Sleep Experiment’, a famous Creepypasta.

Obviously, they had to flesh it out (ha ha) to make it feature length.

It’s about what happens when five men are placed in an isolation chamber (decent room size) that is then filled with a gas designed to keep them awake for as long as the testing scientists want, in exchange for a promise of freedom at the end of the “test”.

As a whole I find it touch-and-go but never dismal; I think it’s worth a watch by itself (it’s good enough on its own) as well as for fans of the original CreepyPasta ‘Russian Sleep Experiment’ (at least for comparison).

It’s well made enough to hold one’s interest, but it doesn’t come near the graphic horror and grotesqueness of the “origin”.

Grade: C+

To Those Who Said My Site Would Be A Total Failure

To all those who said/thought my online radio station would fail miserably, before it potentially goes away (quit, not fired), here’s my failure:

You have 555,486 Total Visits (As of 4/11/13)

So, probably a bit more including the several years since.

There’s something extremely fulfilling about not just succeeding, but about GRINDING THE FACES of naysayers into the ground about it. Ahhhhhhhh…what a feeling.

Oh, and…

Semper Puppy Radio (First Iteration):

24 Overall Favorite Station selections
1 VIP Favorite Station selection
602 Presets
3465 listening hours in the last 30 days
Rating: 5 out of 5 (4 Votes)
95 Facebook likes
5 Google shares
2 Tweets
1 Pinit

But WAIT, there’s MORE!

“Semper Puppy helps me get through my 12hr shift at work.”

Semper Puppy station peak (first iteration) – 383rd (Out of over 7,000 I believe).
(Last top ten list, by country, last 30 days for first Semper Puppy iteration)

1 – The United States
2 – Mexico
3 – Brazil
4 – Canada
5 – Argentina
6 – The United Kingdom
7 – Germany
8 – Spain
9 – Serbia
10 – Italy

(Last top ten list, by country, last 30 days for second Semper Puppy iteration)

1 – The United States
2 – Germany
3 – Canada
4 – Mexico
5 – The United Kingdom
6 – Brazil
7 – Israel
8 – Ireland
9 – Switzerland
10 – Portugal

(Last top ten list, by state, last 30 days for second Semper Puppy iteration)

1 – IL
2 – CT
3 – FL
4 – CO
5 – OH
6 – TX
7 – CA
8 – NJ
9 – NC
10 – NY

Semper Puppy, second iteration:
All-Time Highs:

Grunge: 1st
Classic Alternative: 10th
Adult Album Alternative: 16th
Overall: 490th

Semper Puppy, third iteration:
All-Time Highs:

Grunge: 1st
Classic Alternative: 7th
Indie Rock: 14th
Overall: 507th

Semper Puppy, fourth iteration:
All-Time Highs:

Grunge: 1st
Classic Alternative: 7th
Indie Rock: 14th
Overall: 464th

Unique Countries, Last 30 Days, fourth iteration: 47 (Record: 50 on 3/13/17)

Yip! >.<

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 250)

A collection. And remember, there’s always hope, so hang the fck in there.

“I am become Puppy, licker of faces.”

“In the silent privacy of his mind…she faced…and took his burdens upon herself.
He could not resist her…he had no defense…
“No Evil!” she breathed at him. Not this time.
His eyes were fixed on hers, and they flamed hot midnight…
His refusal made grief well up in her like the wail of a lost child.”
At least I can feel this. More than most, certainly.

Yes, how horrible, the “Friend Zone”.
I mean, it’s just friends.
It’s not corrupted by all those desires, wishes, dreams, love, eternal love. Because what says love like really really loud grunts.
Golly, I really am lucky. (That’s not a joke).
I might think differently if I thought most people were actually genuinely nice and caring.
It’s all just BS leading up to sex. Meaningless.
But if that’s all you want, the brief climax, don’t worry. There are plenty of fellows out there.
“Do you like it? These things you do?”
“No, I don’t. But that’s life, isn’t it?”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM –
“The Thunderous Sound Of Delicacy”
It’s probably already been done, but Duvall’s quiet, gentle, comforting tone and message at the beginning draws you in with an implied sense of civility. Then Duvall pulls a ‘Columbo’. Right before you can leave, he asks a very simple “When?”
You thought “Hey, that wasn’t so bad”…then he comforts some more, before turning it into a soft, gentle, mildly firm like a scold, which rises quickly into a dangerous, helpful, run through, which ends with what terrifies with tone and finally asks (in my opinion) “Do you like your job, son?”
“Because that would be *my* time, my own private time, which no one – if they had any sense of self-preservation at ALL – would dare interrupt.”
*Genial little chuckle*
Gently “If…I were you.”
*Genial little smile*
*The other, fear in his whole figure, freezes, pleading: “I’m sorry…”
Duvall raises his hand, with a low “shhhh”, and proceeds to ignore the man completely, 99 percent sure he will have nothing further useful to say, and he’s gotten bored already in his mocking “explanation”.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – The person and the bee.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – The beauty to me is how pure her love is. It seems so rare in people. And as for him, it was tense when I first saw this, a very long time ago…I was actively worried, and then relieved. I cared for them, I genuinely did…suspending disbelief wasn’t a big problem. They couldn’t have pulled this off so seemingly easily if there wasn’t some Diane in Shelley Long, and some Sam in Ted Danson.

“Even though his joints creaked and his bark rasped, he would fight with the fire of a much younger dog if Dru needed him to.”

“Eli: It doesn’t have to make sense. It’s faith, it’s faith. It’s the flower of light in the field of darkness that’s giving me the strength to carry on. You understand?
Solara: Is that from your book?
Eli: No, it’s, uh, Johnny Cash, Live at Folsom Prison.”

“While it’s well known that as one gets older, one tends to find changes in the world at large unsettling, confusing, f@cking irritating, a rebuke to one’s very existence, it’s generally not a good idea to make a career out of saying so.” – Greil Marcus

“Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art Of War’ is to Yamamoto Tsunetomo’s ‘Hagakure’ what a refreshing, crystal-clear, shallow wading pool is to an ocean.” – Me

FAIR USE: CRITICISM –
“…so careful, when I’m in your arms…”
“You woke up screamin’ aloud…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM –
Beautiful.
“Abashed the Devil stood, and felt how aw(e)ful Goodness is…”

“You deceived me.”
“You let yourself be deceived. But in your heart you always knew what had to happen here.”

“My…dark destructive tastes…
I chose…to stroll amongst the waste that was your heart…lost in the dark…”

Who Goes There? (2012 YouTube Audiobook Adaptation)

From “Must Be Nice Studios”, it’s a good companion piece to John Carpenter’s 1982 movie ‘The Thing’.

Nice explanations/references here, of things you may or may not have cared about from the movie…unsure what’s what in terms of relevance or irrelevance to who or what or where or when or how or sometimes why? (Or who cares?).

But that’s part of the fun, isn’t it?

If you don’t like Carpenter’s film, this is probably not worth it. If you *DO*, it is, if only to compare little variables and check what’s really what and who’s really who.

One of the “things” actually argues INTELLECTUALLY for its own existence when it’s still – for most intents and purposes – “human”.

Inspirational Quote: “So it’s walkin’ around without skin. Maybe it’ll look better.”
IQ Cousin: “Maybe we at war with Norway.”

Grade: B-

Who Goes There? (2023 YouTube Audiobook)

The original novel was the planted triffid seed for John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’.

The narrator sounds far too much like Aldo Farnese to take the intro seriously. At least he doesn’t tell us about trade school.

At around 1:02 he sounds like the creepy-a$$ animated guy from one of the ‘From Beyond’ short subjects.

An UP! and down persistent volume warning is definitely in play here.

There is one thing about this version that I rather like: just think about the vague and also contrastingly *sharp* changes possible in perception. Wow man…what a trip.

Nice argument (possibility?) at 1:06:50 from MacReady…

Around 1:49: Hmmmm…the thing is a pacifist?

Ha ha.

Inspirational Quote: “…a flash of electric blue seared upward from beyond the granite wall.” (and inspired J.C.’s opening?)

Grade: C-

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers (2015 YouTube Audiobook)

This is the audiobook of the original 1955 novel.

Alright…we’ll call it a draw.

The rampant sexism can be creepy and annoying at times.

Very interesting material, and it holds your attention for the most part.

Read pretty well overall, mostly convincing emotion as appropriate but a few too many cracks.

Scientific probabilities: Don’t care. It’d take all the mystery out of life.

The debate and explanation near the ending is pretty cool, very clinical and undeniable.

The ending itself seems really half-a$$ed, inspired by the times and drawn out of a hat. The 1978 movie has a similar but more likely (near) ending.

Inspirational Quote: “…tell you later.”

Grade: C+

Re-Reviews

I’ve decided that I will not go back and re-review anything I’ve aleady reviewed. BPD and/or the like makes this an extremely difficult task, PLUS there are so many reviews, PLUS very few people seem to give a solitary fck.

So if my opinion has changed, oh well. This is a work I’ve built for myself out of nothing. It’ll always be here and always be that, even if it has major old mistakes.

– Puppy