SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE…
Who would I rather face, a zombie or a vampire?
Well, conventional logic and popular conception would suggest that a zombie would be easier to fight.
However, there is one great disadvantage to facing the zombie, that is also the great advantage in facing the zombie.
That is to say, a zombie is beyond reason.
Being a creature of pure instinct, it is incredibly stupid. Slow, dim, able to use only the most basic objects, no tact, no tactics, no guile, physically weak, extremely flammable, etc etc etc…
However, these innate weaknesses mask a deeper innate strength, if you care to delve deeper into this nonsense…I mean conjecture.
A vampire is basically a glorified human being. Incredible power breeds incredible ego, and so in this area the zombie wins.
A zombie has no ego. It has no pride, no remorse, no emotion, no sympathy, no discrimination, it isn’t “good” or “bad”, you can’t threaten it, persuade it, beg it, bribe it…it’s like trying to reason with a mosquito.
And therein lies the problem. Only the rarest of human beings (or, haha, vampires) are COMPLETELY beyond reasoning. Having no “weaknesses”, no vulnerabilities, no vanity, etc. etc…
So, the next time you have to choose between a zombie and a vampire, at least give it some thought. Remember, if you bow before a vampire and beg it, it may allow you to live. A zombie will just eat you.
Thus ends this unbelievably silly post. If anyone takes this seriously enough to argue about it, well…you’re probably a vampire. OH!
-Puppy >.< Grrr…