The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Response:

“That’s a reach…that’s a reach.” – Joel Hodgson, MST3K

By now you’ve either seen it or forever sworn not to because you’ve been told that it sucks.

That’s not exactly accurate…it doesn’t suck.  It isn’t anywhere near the “phenomenon” it was made out to be, and the huge lines at theaters during the early time of its release were unfounded.  But it’s not bad…not that GOOD…but not bad. 

Supposedly a documentary about a research project gone horribly wrong, it’s actually (SPOILER ALERT!!! Yeah right…like you don’t know by now) just a fake documentary about an imaginary myth (???) made to appear as realistic as possible and whose “realism” was enhanced at the time of (and prior to) release by the insinuation of the filmmakers that it was, in fact, real.  A great piece of propaganda…really annoying, but not totally destructive to the viewing process if you can get past it.

The “acting” is very good exactly because these aren’t actors and they aren’t acting.  They were given a bare-bones script, yes, but they improvised a lot of it, including their reactions to creepy/weird/annoying/freaky events while thirsty, hungry, tired, and generally annoyed and pissed off at each other and themselves.  So it looks “real” when they act scared or distressed because it IS…they ARE.

Unfortunately, you’re not.  The film isn’t the least bit scary, not by today’s standards…or any day’s standards, really.  What it IS is creepy.  It’s a study in the gradual collapse of a mini-society (three people) who get along wonderfully at first and are happy and peppy but who slowly become more and more worn down by events until they’re literally screaming/crying at/with one another.  The directors use sound effects and props to good effect, and it IS certainly weird.  But I never was “scared”…it’s more interesting than it is terrifying.

Still, as a historical document of the effectiveness of mass marketing, it ain’t bad.  Worth watching if not owning.

Inspirational Quote: “AHHHHH!”

Grade: B-