I think, for comedic value, ‘Con Air’ should be remade EXACTLY the same as the original, except for the following slight alteration:
*Dumb Guy* “What’s that?”
*Malkovich* “That’s a rock.”
*Dumb Guy* “Ok, what’s this movie?”
*Malkovich* “‘The Flying Rock'”. *Picks up rock and donks guy on head with it, then proceeds*