Rodentz (2001)

Killer rats with the psychic ability to shake cages and anticipate phone calls.

Oh, and one of them eventually turns into a remarkably human-sized rat.  Convenient for the costume guy.

Bad acting, no budget, no horror, red rat-cam, and lots of rat footage.

The “scary” scenes are only scary if quick cuts, stock rat footage, really fake blood and/or people holding rats/fake rats against themselves while also pretending to fight them off scare you.  Think of the dynamite rabbit in ‘Holy Grail’, but not quite as scary.

The second plotline consists of freeway footage and bad acting, until it merges with the first after absolutely nothing happens in terms of interest or character development.  Oh…you do find out that one of the young ladies enjoys wearing a persistently high out-of-jeans thong.  That’s her “thing”.

And the others try/pretend to have “things” too.  And perform lots of dramatic…pauses.

What made someone write this movie?  Head dents.
If you were a car, what would watching this movie be like to you?  Road dents.
And so on, and so on…

Unbelievably brief breast shot of thong-lady.  Then the worst porno music (without porno) I’ve heard since the 70’s (including me going “Boom-Chikka WAH WAH!”), leading me to this:

Inspirational Quote: “There’s so many nooks and crannies…”

IQ2: “UH…Oh, uh…UH!…UH…OH…oh…uhh, oh…uh…uh…oh…”

Grade: F-

Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

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