A bit late on this one, because I was afraid it would be laughable. But I thought I had to try. At least it inspired the title for “Uneasy Rider”.
It’s a nostalgic musical and historical oddity, best preserved and
unwatched.
The only redeeming feature is a little bit of Jack Nicholson.
On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.
Grade: D-
No idea til recently that Joaquin Phoenix was in this, which made it much more intriguing to me.
Overall it’s very dark but it’s not really gloomy or depressing; more creepy-cool/morbidly funny (when it works).
Phoenix is the focus, thankfully, and is good throughout.
Vince Vaughn is good too (only not as) as the instant friend.
Supporting cast is solid, believable…except maybe Janeane Garofalo, who is miscast as an FBI agent.
Weird, good direction, some interesting images. No real meaning, but worth a watch if you like Phoenix, Vaughn, or generic weirdness a whole lot.
I was gonna compare it to ‘Fargo’ and/or the Coen brothers but then I realized “Nah…probably stretching your ‘knowledge'”. But then I read it was inspired by ‘Fargo’. So hey, I’m a fcken movie genius.
On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.
Inspirational Quote: “Promise you’ll stop findin’ dead people.”
Grade: C
To the tune of Alannah Myles’ “Love Is”:
“Carnivore’s Ode To A Cow” – By Puppy
Two lines from it:
“Tell me…where you want me to chew,
Cuz flesh iiIS…what I want from YOU-Ou-Ou…”
And there’s gotta be a moo rhyme in there somewhere.
And so on, and so on…
4/14/16: WTF is wrong with me??? I forgot “Cud is…”!!!
Begging the question: Whatever happened to Herbert Fux?
Terrible B-movie “horror” cr@p.
On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.
Grade: F
Having had the number one grunge station on this site for a LONG time before abandoning it due to the problem described below, and having (NOW) the number three grunge station (and climbing as I’ve just started it) on this site, I think I’m qualified to review an annoying aspect of this site that I’m sure all non “Premium” (i.e. “Gimme Some Money”) listeners can appreciate.
There are ads on the top. On the side. On the bottom.
Fine. No problem. They havta make money.
Then there are the video ads, with audio as loud as or louder than the song you’re listening to.
Not fine. Bullsh1t. They start without – to my knowledge – any way to prevent them and completely destroy the experience of listening to the song you’re listening to. Can they be dealt with, such as stopping them or lowering the volume EVERY SINGLE TIME they load independently? Perhaps. But it’s still bullsh1t.
Maybe that’s why you can no longer say “Over 7000 stations”.
Now it’s “Over 5000”. And it’s less than 6.
Try getting rid of the obnoxious greedy sh1t. That’s marketing advice, and a review.
Another absurd movie from the ‘Airplane!’ folks, with Val Kilmer acting very silly. Not as good as that or ‘Naked Gun’, but it has some funny moments.
On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.
Grade: C-
In the brilliant tradition of NF streaming, we have here part two
without access to part one.
So, I did a little research, decided this had enough potential – at
least as cheezy mock-fodder – and proceeded to watch it while dismissing part one without much worry.
Hey, it’s got that unbelievably creepy guy very briefly. You’ll know him when you see him.
It’s not horrific but it’s too generic.
Point of note: Smearing of zombie guts as a form of fitting in with the crowd was done here before ‘The Walking Dead’.
On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.
Inspirational Quote: “I can open the door.”
Grade: D
For quite a while it’s a boring drama that fails to thrill.
When the son has ventured far/long enough into the house some odd and interesting things begin to happen.
But it never takes another step. The moments lose their promise and become the only parts of interest – as themselves and briefly, not part of some more cohesive whole.
On Netflix Streaming until 7/30/14.
Grade: D-
Wretched, badly dated and unscary piece of sh1t.
On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.
Grade: F-
If you’re looking for/wondering about possible changes I’ve made to any previous post, they occur on a fairly regular basis. Some change a lot ( such as “Top Ten Listeners…”), others change infrequently (e.g. ‘The F List…’), and others change VERY rarely.
How do you know when they happen? You don’t. Because if I posted a pupdate every time I updated one it’d get REALLY annoying and too many of my posts would be merely quick references to OTHER posts’ updates.
So just fish around, I guess, with the above criteria in mind.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Really stupid.
The lead does a lot of Stallone-ish angry grimacing. Also mediocre
acting, although he’s at least intelligible and reasonably priced.
Not really a remake; pretty much a completely different movie which
consists of a tiny setup and then one long dumb act.
Grade: F
That rotary phone is pretty scary.
And being personally comfortable with its level of technological advancement.
It’s actually pretty freaky and interesting for the most part. Lots of monologue, but it makes something out of very little. Also it’s somehow creepier because of its Britishness.
The ending is a real let-down, unfortunately. So, borderline.
Fake Footage Flick.
I like the intro: This is REAL. REALLY. No, this time it’s true.
See? It could happen…please, give us a break…give us TIME…
Unfortunately (unlike Kirk) with ME watching, time is a luxury they
have.
After a ‘Manos’-ish opening, the tension/story start. But even after that there’s LOTS of driving footage. So if you want a movie that shows lots of dirt road w/foliage, this is it. Also if you like off-camera dialogue and exhaustive foley.
The excitement level, based on the acting/script/gobbledygook, is
pretty low to nil. It’s a cheezy little number. For infection/invasion
/anything similar, there are LOTS of better options.
Terrible and pointless. Well, one good point: the actual length of…
ummm…movie is only 1:05.
If just one person is inspired to not watch this movie after reading this, I feel this review has been worthwhile.
Inspirational Quote: “WHY?”
Grade: F-
Transformation complete. Minor tinkerings will occur, but this is how it will be. Sob, cheer, or shrug.
Live365.com/stations/semperpuppy
Or via DaPuppy.com
-Puppy >.< Yip!
REALLY cheezy horror movie featuring living puppets.
Lots of cheezy acting and cheezy dialogue.
Thankfully recent viewing has given me a good reference point: This is a LONG, borderline ‘Darkside’ episode.
The “horror” bit starting the “serious” action/theme with about a third left to go is really horrible; bad enough in every way to be
enjoyable to mock.
Inspirational Quote: “It all just sorta blurs together, y’know?”
Grade: D-
Noone else out there can quite do “Big Bottoms” like me, so it’s back to mostly grunge. Why not all grunge? Stubbornness, quality, and rules.
DaPuppy.com has a link.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
1 – The United States
2 – Germany
3 – Canada
4 – Mexico
5 – The United Kingdom
6 – Brazil
7 – Israel
8 – Ireland
9 – Switzerland
10 – Portugal
Last Updated: 4/12/15
1 – IL
2 – CT
3 – FL
4 – CO
5 – OH
6 – TX
7 – CA
8 – NJ
9 – NC
10 – NY
Last Updated: 4/12/15
The macabre twist is INCREDIBLY predictable. But that doesn’t mean it’s no fun at all to watch.
Too cheezy, too…but again, see above.
Marginal, depending on how original/surprising you need it to be.
The worst Herc in another really bad Herc movie. The riffing isn’t very good either.
Grade: D-
Another cheezy Herc flick. Riffing’s not so great.
Highlights:
X’s of Y’s
Grade: D
Cheezy/boring “adventure” movie. They seem to be up for it, so the
riffing makes it tolerable.
Highlights:
Instant Karma powder
constellation sketch
mostly decent riffing
Inspirational Quote: “I love my dead Greek son!”
Grade: C+
Fair Use: Criticism – Two parts of particular interest and feeling.
(In Clip 2)
Really SLOW and boring movie with mediocre acting and a pretty bad script.
Proving once again that hiring one semi-name actor does not guarantee success if that’s the only thing going for the movie.
Yes, “exciting” and “creepy” things happen, but they’re not really; they just try to be.
Stupid ending, too.
On Netflix Streaming until 7/15/14
Grade: F
Does it need to be said that this opening is cheezy wanna-be Star Wars sh1t that will one day be as mockable as Gamera or Godzilla?
And so is the ending?
Be that as it may…
Harry Anderson is almost always cool. Unless he’s in Philly.
The usual silly vehicle for him, and he does ok with a mediocre script.
I hate traffic accidents as much as that little girl from that Gamera movie, but even I have to admit that without them we’d probably all be snatched away by now.
See title. How do you get there? Go to my website (dapuppy.com) and click on the “Puppy Radio!” link. Enjoy.
Coming soon. Stay tuned.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqF0T8pSStM
Fair Use, Criticism: One of the best scenes from ‘Braveheart’.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Lots of calm, indifferent narration and third-person.
Very silly, too; more of a comedy except that I don’t find it that funny because it’s SO over-the-top.
Sort of borderline.
A man dies but apparently comes back to life out of sheer stubbornness. His body, however, disagrees with his mind’s decision.
Pretty amusing and intelligent, actually. And a bit dark of course.
Boring “action-adventure” flick. A few bad-funny parts and a few good riffs.
Highlights:
Space Mutiny warmup
Herc’s enjoyable violence
Inspirational Quote: “…and under the evil influence of Uranus…”
Grade: D
Based on a Stephen King story.
Pre-Post-‘NeedfulThings’, so it doesn’t inherently kinda suck.
…Oh my Lord that’s a big disk.
GREAT premise: a word processor that can make anything happen while looking horribly cheezy.
An interesting episode.
A Tom Savini project, if you can’t get enough of him. Also semi-featuring fellow ‘Living Dead’ alums George A. Romero and Patricia Tallman (the Savini remake).
Kinda creepy, actually. But the mystery turns out kinda cheezy and unexplained.
A decent if somewhat boring documentary about cat de-clawing.
I already knew what the procedure was and I’m decidedly against it, but there were some things that I learned about its effects. If you want to know all about it, you can watch this…or you can just research it online. It’s not particularly exciting, although there are some cute cat pics, so pick your media I guess.
Grade: D
Decently written. Kinda amusing and interesting.
Danny Aiello really helps.
If you can get by the ultra-cringeworthy MST/’Black Eagle’ opening credits/DRAMATIC MUSIC, this is a decent version of the story.
Donald Sutherland and Mr. Spock’s is better, though.
I like the lead, and it’s different enough to make it worth watching if you saw (and liked) that (later) one. If you didn’t like it, you probably won’t like this.
If you can’t enjoy something that’s a LITTLE cheezy and dated, whatever the subject/ideas/acting/script, you won’t like this either.
Grade: C
8/21/14: Upped a notch for extra-creepy, despite limitations. Grade: C+
7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. I care enough to compare with the original for a few seconds. It’s better. Grade: B-
Seems decent and weird from the start. A drama around a somewhat horrific brief series of events more than a true horror film.
The “monster”‘s appearance on the scene is certainly interesting, and makes me think this may be in the vein of ‘Jenifer’.
Brief feelings of ‘Lo’, ‘The Devil’s Rock’, and ‘Hellboy’ surface as well…but this isn’t as good as any of those. The acting is pretty good and it seems authentic enough to be creepy and interesting at first, but once the intro is done it just sort of meanders the rest of the way.
Too much mood and too little story; not enough actually happens as you wait expectantly for it to.
Effects, once they arise, are below par.
Interesting, though, if disappointing after the setup. Perhaps I’m overrating it slightly for reminders of so many better movies.
Grade: C-
A lot of tedium, a few good jokes, a bunch of ok ones. Most of the riffs pretty much completely provide themselves.
Highlights:
NO! time to lose
T. Servo’s rant
horrendous fish argument
Gamera dancing
Grade: D+
Another Gamera movie. A few good jokes and a sh1t film.
Highlights:
the itchy angle
Grade: D
More of a comedy (on purpose) than the previous ones. Still horrible, but the riffing is noticeably better.
Highlights:
the Gamera song
horrific dubbing
Gamera’s brief exercise routine
traffic accidents
Grade: C
Basically one good joke and Joel doing some palooka talk.
And the rest is useless.
Grade: F
Parts are kinda cute, a couple parts are amusing, and the message is great.
But again, noone who didn’t give a sh1t before will give a sh1t after watching this. And too often it’s just dull and boring.
And I hate the songs.
On Netflix Streaming until 7/7/14.
Grade: D
Stats are beginning somewhere around late June/early July 2014.
Previous stats are unavailable, hits from 8/2010 until this list exceeded one million. Not by much, but still.
1 – The United States
2 – China
3 – Germany
4 – France
5 – Canada
6 – Russia
7 – Ukraine
8 – Israel
9 – The United Kingdom
10 – Romania
Last Updated: 12/25/15
4/14/16: FINAL UPDATE: Irrelevant since I’m counting total hits. Or maybe I just don’t want to update this. Or maybe something else. Or who cares?
A giant spinning fire-turtle with split personalities confuses the general public.
Movie’s boring, riffing isn’t so great. Took me three tries to get through this awake.
Highlights:
SLEEP!
the occasional decent riff
the theme song, on attempt 3
Grade: D-
Skipping mediocre number 105, there are only 8 more available on Netflix Streaming at the moment, and the titles don’t match what I find for the episode names.
So, since this hasn’t been the MOST exciting experience, and since I have no desire to research over 200 more for the sake of completeness, here ends my reviews of this show. Good Evening.
Arsenic and Old Maid(s). Kind of cute, which is interesting as it turns creepy.
I’ve decided, since a few of the few I haven’t watched are on NF
streaming, that I’ll watch a bit more MST3K and review ’em.
Absolutely no Elvis sightings, though.
Not the most exciting, but with an interesting/somewhat macabre twist.
Final stats from my now officially defunct QuickBlogcast Account:
You have 1005084 Total Visits.
Your blog gets 375.11 average post views per day.
All posts that were there, and MANY more (!!!) are now here.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
