Entry One: As I move through this strange new land, I find myself slowly becoming accustomed to the habits of the natives. I was surprised at first when I discovered that everyone here likes both ‘Amelie’ and ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’…but I’ve come to accept, if not fully comprehend, it.
Entry Two: Cursory examination of the landscape itself reveals apparent lacks of genuine substance in areas dubbed “fourth down the list” and “seventh down the list”. These areas appear, to the best of my estimation, suitable for occupying space between the other, more solid areas. As such I assume they are necessary, though I am at a loss to explain why or how they developed in the first place.
Entry Three: I have performed some basic testing on the natives. My results are shocking – though admittedly this is a VERY small minority, some of them have answered “Yes” to the following questions:
1) Would you sleep with a serial killer?
2) Would you date a cannibal?
Or perhaps the actions are reversed, I admit I am a bit shaken by the results. However, this does lead me to a conclusion that is very similar to the innovative ‘Penguin Experiments’ conducted many years ago:
These people score poorly when compared to primitive human sub-groups like the Bushmen of the Kalahari, but better than BBC Programme Planners. The clarity is devastating.