Month: May 2024

Westborough Behavioral Healthcare Hospital

I’d like to state, first of all, that I am NOT a professional critic. I am, however, an amateur critic with opinions *acting* as one.

I’d like to suggest a new slogan:

“Think your life is a waking nightmare? Well, come here, and we’ll show you what that REALLY is!”

On a scale of 0 to 10, I give it a .1 (Good food, yum yum).

*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE*

– Puppy

Popcorn In Bed – First Time Watching – Unforgiven (1992)

Very good movie, so that’s a good start.

The commentator is laid-back, and provides some interesting commentary but also plenty of bland commentary, which can be a distraction from the movie.

I find that terrible movies (‘The Room’, ‘Birdemic: Shock And Terror’, ‘Manos: The Hands Of Fate’, etc…) tend to do better in first-time watchings, because you don’t miss anything in the large bits and pieces that you miss (darn copyright).

Grade: B-

The Call Of Cthulhu – HorrorBabble Audiobook (2023)

I really like this narrator. Plenty of lip and tongue action. (JOKE)

Quite formal and pleasing, actually.

Gets creepy after the necessary intro.

Periods of great description here.

A must for Cthulhu fans, and a good intro for others.

You have to be in the mood to really appreciate it.

Just wish H.P. had left out the racism.

Inspirational Quote: “Someday he would call, when the stars were ready…”

Grade: A-

Creep 2 (2017)

SO redundant…wait, no, it’s a *female* being “hired” this time. “Really threw us a curveball there!” (Thanks, Jen!!)

Mark Duplass is actually not bad at what he does here. But what he does is talk like a genial total sociopath and never show the tiniest bit of real emotion. There’s a certain fascinaton to it, yes…but when you get down to it, there are plenty of other movies that present extreme aberrations in human beings, and actually have *more* to them than simply that.

It’s not exactly Joker and Harley Quinn.

27:38 – And they’re off!

Inside the mind of a serial killer? Not really sure if it’s creep(y) or laughably bad…I lean one way, then the other, grumbling at the notes I have to take for this review.

There is some actual tension and uncertainty near the end.

I’m at a bit of a loss. It’s not dark enough for the truly demented, but it’s not laughable enough for MST3K fans.

An interesting…attempt.

Grade: D

And Then There Were None – YouTube Audiobook (2021)

“Very good speaking voice.” – Michael Palin

That’s very important, because at just over 6 listening hours, disliking the voice might be a deal-breaker.

1:15 – Good so far, without the real tension even starting.

1:33:04 – Necessary exposition.

Drags a bit at times. But, stay tuned.

3:52:50 – Ummmm yeah, there’s been a lot of dragging.

Found myself wanting to scream: “Check the rhyme, you stupid b@stards!”

4:05:56 – FINALLY…appropriate paranoia and suitable somewhat-intelligent behavior.

It’s a decent way to pass six hours without feeling either annoyed, overly challenged, or *totally* bored at predictability.

Grade: C+

It’s A Good Life – YouTube Audiobook (2020)

From the 1953 novel by Jerome Bixby.

Nice, pleasant reading makes it even more consistently creepy.

You get a lot more info/background about what/why/how Anthony thinks and does than the ‘Twilight Zone’ episode.

I actually don’t like that, though…he’s more scary when you know less about him. Adds more worry and uncertainty.

I think the TZ episode is better than this, actually. But it’s still good.

Inspirational Quote: “…its eyes gleaming in small black terror.”

Grade: B

Black Mirror – Episode 14 (USS Callister)

Obvious ‘Star Trek’ opening. Let’s see what sort of horrific twist they can pull off on that.

Haha…nice transition to reality.

Wow…weird transition to “reality”.

WOW…ummm, it kicks in. I shouldn’t really have doubted it so much, there’s so much potential based on past performance.

Very good acting, as usual.

Poor Captain what’s-his-name…a man who has lost so much – and feels so much bitterness and rage – in reality, that he has to take his (EXTREME) feelings out on those in his continued fantasy life because he’s too afraid to do anything but trudge along in his dismal, has-been real life.

I mean, ‘Galaxy Quest’ has-been-ness is understandably depressing and frustrating…but you don’t see Alan Rickman’s character doing more than having the occasional private meltdown and *snatching* pictures-to-sign. And he’s the *most* bitter.

Virtually infallible lucid dreaming, every time.

Amazing. And, from what I understand of ‘The Matrix’, dangerous…dangerously tempting.

Inspirational Quote: “Stealing my pu$$y…is a red *fcken* line!”

MST3K Shorts-a-thon

Available on YouTube as of this writing.

Really good stuff: even the worst shorts aren’t THAT bad (bad as in unfunny). They all suck, of course, without riffing.

The riffing on them seems to be at a really high level pretty consistently.

Just minimize the boring/annoying ones, they’re pretty…short.

Grade: A-

5/2/24: Shorts-a-thons come and Shorts-a-thons go, but Shorts lists are forever.

Reel Reviews With Jen! – First Time Watching – 8MM (1999)

Jen seems like a very decent, genuine person at heart, so it’s easy to buy her surprised/shocked/horrified reactions at the goings-on in this film.

The goings-on are pretty horrible and I’m reminded again that there’s so much potential for this to be great, but unfortunately every time I have hope Nic Cage (thankfully without bees) shows up on the screen.

Jen! rambles a bit too much at the end, but has some interesting tidbits.

Grade: D+

5/1/24: Re-watch before post. *shrug* I have different moods.

Jen’s commentary is much more a friendly-Canadian intrusion every time you feel the power and darkness of the film.

Don’t watch this…watch the film yourself, or with people that don’t talk a lot during movies.

Inspirational Quote: “Oh my God, he’s a monster…he’s a monster…”

Grade: D (lowered a notch to clarify how much better it is by itself, and full-length).

Crocodile Dundee II (1988)

It’s not horrible, but it’s kinda…sad, in a way.

I mean, it’s a somewhat-hollow echo of the original, inspiring more nostalgia than amusement.

And the serious plot element is strictly functional. And, well…so are the jokes.

It’s just a relic, hanging on for dear life. Not horrible, but not really worth your time.

14:22 – Smuggler’s Blues?
17:01 – Pachanga?
28:49 – Now *that* is what I call a phone.

Grade: D