Month: March 2025

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Quentin Tarantino uses his undisputed talent to make good movies, and then makes them worse with his dumb-a$$, stupid, laughable, dull, and/or annoying self-indulgences.

This is the best (worst) example thus far.

Why does he do it? Because he’s Quentin *bleepin* Tarantino, that’s why.

Lots of good scenes, lots of unnecessary cr@p.

Chapter One:

I don’t find the pipe funny, just absurd for the sake of it.

Christoph Waltz does a very good job being absurd at the same time as believable…the pipe is merely absurd.

And, unlike assumed intent, it’s NOT funny. It’s just…stupid. As if Tarantino himself is daring you not to like it.

Well, good job Cutie.

Chapter Two:

The Hugo Stiglitz intro is…ridiculously absurd, not funny. It – and others like it – are like much of the last season of ‘Monty Python’s Flying Circus’ : absurdity without the humor. Which is just pitiful and annoying. And a waste of surrounding (good) material.

And so on, and so on…

Fair with partly sh1tty.

Grade: C

JeruZalem (2015)

Nice little intro. FX hinted at: (Limited but) fairly impressive.

It’s a found-footage film for the most part, and is at least convincing in that.

I like the little distractions that seem realistic and have nothing to do with the plot.

Decent callback around 1:13:30.

All that being said, it never REALLY gets “good”. It’s an object of (limited) interest.

Grade: D+

Kitboga – My Best Revenge Scam Call Ever – Extreme Scammer Rage

I love this guy. The future’s so bright, he’s gotta wear shades.

Most people are selfish, greedy a$$holes, and this guy’s scammers are the definition of this: Their motivation in life is money, at all costs.

Disgusting and pathetic.

Scammers focus on easier targets most of all. If you know any very elderly or disabled people, make sure they are safe.

The episodes are all very similar; if you like this, you’ll probably like the others. So I’m not going to give grades for each episode…I encourage you to watch or not based on interest in this.

One more thing: Even if you don’t like this, he’s doing Good, so I urge you to support anti-scammers.

Feeling good out of doing Good…that’s the greatest feeling in the world.

Inspirational Quote: “I’m left-handy.”

Maternal Instinct Warning

In a very distant-past post entitled “Maternal Instinct”, there is an audio file that I have just realized is infected with some sort of virus.

My antivirus software displayed the problem in advance when I attempted to play it today (good stuff) so there was no effect.

However, for the benefit of anyone ELSE out there that might be even possibly thinking of listening to it…don’t.

I’m a firm believer in (peaceful, of course) massive retaliation, though, so don’t worry…I’ll get a nice cleanpristine version and upload it here and on my Facebook account. And maybe every month or so I’ll re-post it. And get a custom-made t-shirt and fliers made. “Cuz I’m stupid like that.”

I was bored and depressed. Thanks for giving me motivation!

“Like it? … I fcken LOVE it!!!”

– Puppy

P.S. – Original post was made about eleven years ago, and no complaint has ever been made concerning it.

– Puppy

1950s Let’s Make A Sandwich

Flickery.

I think that’s the same girl from ‘A Date With Your Family’.

Not her best work.

Two boys gobble and gulp down cr@p at the beginning and end.

It’s pretty short, so if you wanna watch something that could not possibly in any way offend you and that will make you feel better in comparison…

*shrug*

As with most other similar “shorts”, it’s pretty close to worthless without professionals mocking it for you (e.g. Mike or Joel).

Grade: D

1950s, How To Be A Housewife

*CRACKLE*

Flickers, bad cuts, bland voice-over.

Talks about lots of palatable pleasures.

The usual recent-lobotomy-happy background music and sexist drivel.

This one has a lamb fetish.

*shrug* It’s not nearly as funny without Joel or Mike mocking it, but if you’re drunk or stoned you could probably get a kick out of it.

And if you’re feeling old, this will cheer you up a bit.

Grade: D+

Filter

The Very Best Things (1995-2008) (2009)

Why didn’t I review this band before? I mean, I don’t LOVE them, but I’ve reviewed plenty of (obviously) (much) lesser bands.

Oh well. Here goes…

Sounds good from the start. “Hey Man, Nice Shot” isn’t about Kurt Cobain, to make it less interesting for you.

It’s got a shorter version of The Crystal Method’s “Trip Like I Do” that rocks.

But wait, there’s less!

Takes a dip after track five, but even the filler isn’t all that bad.

I really like Richard Patrick’s voice; when soft it conveys sensitivity and yearning, but he can also roar in fury with the best of them, and he seems to know when to do which most effectively.

Inspirational Quote: “Oh my God, this is the best…”

(“Hey Man, Nice Shot”, “Jurassitol”, “Take A Picture”)

Grade: B+

RiffTrax – Emergencies – What Would You Do?

Don’t Panic.

Talk about atrocious/wooden acting. Not complaining, it makes the riffing that much easier and more enjoyable.

It certainly doesn’t make you think, so it’s an amusing little time-killer.

Inspirational Quote: “He’s gone. Quick, let’s bone until we can’t move anymore.”

Grade: B

Cube (1997)

Creepy, at the very start. But that’s the problem: it never gets any creepier, like they shot their wad on a compelling intro to pull in the viewers.

There are some nasty visuals throughout, but not as many as you’d like in a movie where that’s the only thing of real interest. And if you struggle through movies with nasty visuals because you want to hang in there for the acting and storytelling and character development…yikes. Never, never, never watch this.

Starts getting pretentious and unbelievable not too far in.

Character connections and conflicts and just interactions in general seem a bit forced; done out of necessity.

Lots of overacting – especially the cop. And the characters’ personalities seem to shift rather than maintain or evolve.

It’s poorly written and – for the most part – poorly acted.

Lowered a notch for screwing up such a simple horror concept.

Canada, what happened to you?

Inspirational Quote: “It’s ASTRO-NOMICAL!”

Grade: F

And Then There Were None (2015 English Television Miniseries)

The audiobook is the best version of this tale, but this is superior to the 1945 film version, and more in line with the book.

Pretty well done (nice visuals and audio) and it has Sam Neill (can’t be bad).

But there are some mediocre moments of script/acting and it’s not carried through consistently.

17:20 of part 3 (of 3) – Nice little change of pace.

Grade: C