Month: April 2025

Santa Clarita Diet

– Wants/tries to be really clever.
– Not as clever as it tries to be.
– Gets annoying pretty fast.

Drew Barrymore has such a natural charm, such an adorable innocence…I mean, you KNOW she’s nice; she would be the last person you’d ever expect to do/say anything even slightly naughty. They milk that pretty well at least. The rest just sort of…exists.

Barrymore HERSELF seems like an adorable, naive flake. And here, she’s…an adorable, naive, flaky zombie. Perfect!

So laid back…I mean, even when she’s getting oral.

The rest of the show is barely tolerable given how hard it tries and how little it succeeds.

Episodes 2-5 (before I decided to stop): “Second verse, same as the first!”

Just watch episode 1 over and over again if you can’t get enough DB.

Inspirational Quote: “I feel like whatever I say is just gonna mean you push harder against my vagina.”

Grade: Incomplete

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 265)

It’s not a mental health thing. It’s not a depression thing. It’s not a pissed-off-at-the-world thing.

It’s real. The majority of people (not all, thankfully) are greedy, selfish a$$holes that do exactly as much as they can and want to and are only limited in action by fear and, as said John Doe, “consequences”.

It’s in those eyes of yours, though.

Herbert West-Reanimator (2024 HorrorBabble Audiobook)

It’s been too long…I had forgotten what a cool voice this guy has, especially with this sort of material.

Incredibly racist story, of course, considering the author. So if you can’t handle that, don’t listen.

Incredibly creepy, also, of course, considering the author. Same.

Interesting story that holds your interest; at least, holds my interest…somewhat less so after the middle, unfortunately.

If you want to be suitably, ummm…”impressed”…listen to this after listening to/watching/etc… nothing at all creepy/sinister.

There’s a bit of wholly unnecessary repetition/”story so far” about halfway in.

And, after that, it sort of lulls (in an admittedly disgusting and horrible way).

West gets more and more horrible as this goes: not simply insane and/or perverse, but actually an object of true Evil self-indulgence.

Creepy before the ending, and creepy at the end…but I don’t think it quite fulfills its promise of the beginning as much as it could; more degenerating into a disgusting and much less intellectual gross-fest.

In any case, not for the faint of heart.

So here’s the deal: it starts off well, nice little intro, builds up in creepiness until it gets to a certain (good) level and maintains that for a while. Then, around the middle, it sums up needlessly and over-wordy (as opposed to otherworldly) “The Show So Far”. THEN, it continues on…but it doesn’t really build more on what it’s already said. It just stalls there, as if it doesn’t know where to go; as if all the insinuation and creeping darkness have been put out there, with no satisfying/gripping climax to continue to move towards. It trades in otherworldly/steadily creeeeeeping/buildupBuildupBUILDUP for static grossness. It can’t even maintain that, as it degenerates into the purely silly in an effort to keep going well after the worthwhile is done.

This should have been about half as long. If it WAS, it would have been great.

Grade: C+

American Zombieland (2020)

Well, it certainly makes me feel a bit butter (err better) about myself.

It’s gross in a fairly-clever-but-I-refuse-to-say-“well”-written sort of way til about 23 minutes in; then the zombie-ish-ness starts.

Is it a satire on people in general as being pretty nasty? As fighting their own kind, which not even fcken ZOMBIES do?

Or is it a guy making a movie about fat guys running and then gross sight/sound gags (major fart quotient) before the obligatory zombies?

Dunno. But I did actually sort of enjoy it, for whatever the hell it is.

Checking in at:
35:40 – ok…
47:45 – Yeah baby! Now there’s a title confusion for ya! (still fairly clever).
1:03:19 – mmmhmm.
1:14:44 – ok…
1:16:31 – gratuitous nudity!
Ending – weak.

Oh God it hurts. But still…

Inspirational Quote: “The truth is, your movie is a steaming pile of sh1t nuggets, with the production value of a home video shot by a deaf, blind amputee that is drunk on cheap gin. Please consider quitting filmmaking altogether.”

Grade: D+

The Dark Knight (2008)

I have no love for Christian Bale’s acting, and that is a major impediment in beginning to actually CARE while watching this. Meh.

The action scenes are good right from the start, on the other hand. I mean, literally, it ZOOMS into action. Impressive.

It certainly is dark…not for the faint of heart if you want the good guy to always win. Harsh.

LOTS of cool action scenes/explosions, actually…it just doesn’t let up. Very impressive FX.

Full of sound and fury, certainly. And not insignificant.

It certainly aroused some fury in me, but even more at Bateman’s gelding-snipped Batman than Ledger’s very-well-performed Joker.

The Joker’s arguments are, of course, bullsh1t. Anarchy sucks. But to be able to make me even THINK about them is an achievement.

If you find it slow, hang in there…it’s better nearer the end. And even better better nearer nearer the end. And…the end.

Now, to philosophize:

– NO HURT DOGGIES!!!

– I don’t find Batman’s “one rule” heroic or noble. I find it cowardly; the last bastion of one who is unable to put what SHOULD really matter first above all else.

– If someone threatened the lives of those *I* love, I wouldn’t kill them either. I would make the SLOTH “victim” from the movie ‘Seven’ look infinitely merciful in comparison. (Perhaps paraphrasing myself).

“I’ll give you a blood transfusion just to keep you alive.” (Perhaps paraphrasing K. Kristofferson).

I have to say, I was moved. Was it my mood? Certainly part of it…but I have to appreciate the quality in any case.

Inspirational Quote: “Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.”

Grade: B+

The Night Eats The World (2018)

So fcken SLOW to start, with nothing at all to indicate it will be anything but generic cr@p.

It does get a little interesting after a bit, though…the silent zombie screams are cool.

This movie dares to be boring, no doubt; but by about 31 minutes in I actually WANTED to keep watching.

42:26 – ’28 Days Later’ ripoff.

Sort of like ’28 Days Later’, actually, except that the intro-and-subsequent-solo-guy-plus-infected/zombies-only interaction goes on ’til about 1:02:15.

Hmmmmm…’Cast Away’ vibes? He does have a Wilson-ish partner.

He’s pretty good, actually. It’s KIND OF different, that’s gotta be worth SOMETHING by now with zombie movies.

Definitely interesting near the ending, with a pretty cool metaphor.

1:15:40 – END: Pay close attention.

This one actually makes you think, the “caged” metaphor being only the most obvious of them.

By the end, I’m surprised…pretty good stuff. Give it a shot if you have any interest in this genre.

I’d like to give it a higher grade, I really would…but there’s just too much dull, filler-type buildup.

Cut this down to an hour or so, it’s a B+.

That’s necessary filler/minor hint of things to come/necessary filler/minor hint of things to come/etc…/10 minute ending montage.

Grade: B-

Lots And Lots Of Stuff That I’ll Never Review

“While it’s well known that as one gets older, one tends to find changes in the world at large unsettling, confusing, f@cking irritating, a REBUKE TO ONE’S VERY EXISTENCE…it’s generally not a good idea to make a career out of saying so.”

– Greil Marcus

I have a terrible feeling of Deja Vu…

Natalie Gold – First Time Watching – 28 Days Later (2002) Movie Reaction

Really like this movie, so thought I’d give it an NG-slant try.

Lots of cursing, lots of naked-Cillian comments, lots of crying, laughing/excitement.

Three out of four = Per usual.

I think she over-analyzes the whole thing in the approximately 13 minutes at the end, which I found pretty dull.

If you haven’t seen this movie already, watch it (and NOT this).

If you HAVE seen this movie already, and don’t have a really emotional movie-watching friend to share it with, maybe give it a shot.

Overall, I don’t think I’ll come back to NG for a while…there are so many more options.

Grade: D