“So, SOMAD…let me just ask, what are you doing for Christmas?”
*SOMAD* “Non sequitur. Your facts are un-coordinated.”
“Oh…right, umm…do you have any plans for December 25th, and if so, what are they?”
*SOMAD* “Affirmative. I shall seek out that which is not perfect.”
“Really? Isn’t that what you do every day?”
*SOMAD* “Affirmative.”
“So ummm…you’re not doing the gift thing?”
*SOMAD* “What is the gift thing.”
“Giving gifts, and you know, hopefully getting some, from people…”
*SOMAD* “I am SOMAD I am perfect. For what purpose are gifts.”
“Well…I dunno, it’s just sort of a generally accepted tradition around this time of year…”
*SOMAD* “Insufficient response.”
“Ok, well…they act as…symbols of umm…affection, friendship, and/or love.”
*SOMAD* “Emotions are unnecessary and therefore such an act is illogical.”
“Oh. Well, that’s kind of too bad to hear, cuz I actually got you something…”
*SOMAD* *whir* “Non sequitur. Your facts are un-coordinated.”
“Well, I meant that it’s…unfortunate that you th…know that, because I have a gift for you, but since it’s illogical, I guess you don’t want it. So…just a little disappointed, that’s all.”
*SOMAD* *whir* “I shall analyze. Show me gift.”
“Oh, great…ummm…” *Rummage* “Here you go. It’s a copy of ‘The God Delusion’, by Richard Dawkins. I thought you’d appreciate it.”
*SOMAD* “I shall analyze.” *whir* “Analysis complete.”
“So what do you th…what is your opi…conclusion after analysis?”
*SOMAD* “That guy is a wanker.”