It has been argued that humans are inherently poly-amorous, that all people truly want to have sex with as many people that they find attractive as possible…that “relationships” are only entered into by those that cannot succeed in routinely obtaining sex from more than one attractive person, that wish to allow themselves to not have to “keep up their appearance”, because of societal pressures, because it’s the “easy” thing to do, and so on.
This argument is just as blatantly flawed and self-serving (as it is made, of course, by those that are NOT in committed “relationships”) as the argument that it’s “wrong” to be with more than one person even if noone is hurt, that you shouldn’t have sex outside of marriage, that homosexuality is wrong, that one must wait 7 dates before having sex…and so on. These arguments, of course, are made by those that adhere (or at least pretend to adhere) to the “wrong”-ness of choice.
Every Human Being is different. To suggest that it is IMPOSSIBLE to truly WANT to be with only one person, for the sole reason of that is truly what YOU want, is absurd. Simply because one cannot “understand” that desire, because one does not feel it themself, does NOT by definition mean that it cannot exist and that anyone that says that’s what they want is just “pretending” or “kidding themselves”.
The most ridiculous part of the argument AGAINST voluntary fidelity is that the people making it are completely disdainful of the other-side-of-the-coin argument (that you MUST be in a heterosexual, monogamous, married, etc etc etc relationship).
The reason I (And many people) don’t have random sex with any other attractive adult possible is NOT, as some might suggest, because I’m “repressed” or “afraid”.
I’m not afraid of “Sinning”, I’m not worried about my ability to obtain sex, I don’t feel that it’s “wrong”, I don’t care about public perception…and so on.
The reason I don’t have sex with every attractive adult I COULD have sex with is because, quite frankly, I don’t want to.
From a logical perspective, I think everyone except those bent on sexual “conquest” to prove their virility would agree that the POINT of sex, apart from procreation, is PLEASURE.
Therefore, the aspect to be considered is…what do I derive the most pleasure from?
Having had meaningless sex in the past, I’ve found that the empty, awkward, rather dull feeling that comes (no pun intended) immediately after the act is completed is FAR worse than the act itself is more pleasurable than just THINKING about it. It just doesn’t make sense to spend SO much time trying to obtain something that, once obtained, becomes meaningless and leads you to think “Ok, who’s next?” if the feeling arising from the “success” of the attempt is, in fact, BAD.
Not to suggest that meaningless sex doesn’t feel GOOD…sure it does. But the period and amount of pleasure achieved, for me, is just simply not worth the post-meaningless-act depression over the sheer meaningless-ness of it, the resources (Time, money for *insert foreplay meetingplace here*, etc) wasted, and so forth.
Sex with someone that I actually CARE about, at least somewhat, lacks these negative results and is therefore something to be strived for as a vastly superior option.
From a purely logical standpoint, for me, meaningless sex is just plain stupid.
It also displays an appalling lack of self-control, which, if you’re doing something you know will just make you feel worse afterwards, is akin to doing hardcore drugs (I assume, never had the urge to try) only this is a VOLUNTARY addiction, and hence lacks ANY sort of reasonable justification outside of the inability to control one’s most base animal instincts.
I mean, if a wolf can be platonic, can’t a “superior” human? It’s not a sign of weakness or herd mentality, it’s a sign of Self-Control, Logic, and Love.
Of course, if you actually feel GOOD after having sex with someone you care nothing about, and you both want to…go for it! I won’t make the same pretentious, inane assumption that critics of Fidelity make by criticizing other people’s emotional choices, as if I have any idea what it’s like to be inside their head.
-Puppy >.< Yip!