Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number 0.5 – Frame 3

The jogger has crossed to a little more than halfway through the frame, pace seeming fairly constant/consistent.  She seems focused on her jogging, looking straight ahead; if she notices the man at all, she doesn’t show it.  Her appearance is somewhat attractive but not exceptional in any way, and her clothes match the occasion.

The man has obviously slowed down, as he has made very little progress in comparison. He smiles at the jogger, but if she even notices she gives no sign. Man is unremarkable, dressed for a fairly warm day; shorts and a t-shirt that appears to have a man’s face on it – you can tell the man shown has a beard, but other than that very little detail can be seen. (Perhaps because of his distance from “You”, the viewer, perhaps simply indistinct).

Other people are now in the frame: an elderly couple, walking in slowly from the left of the frame, a middle-aged man having entered from the right of the frame, moving slower than the jogger but faster than the other man. He is apparently wearing headphones and listening to music, as obvious indications of that are drawn: musical notes and words that appear mostly as gibberish unless (and maybe even if) one looked VERY closely at them.

The mini-crowd seems naturally flowing and unexceptional…all seems fairly “quiet”, a rather peaceful day.

Extinction (2015)

GZM (Generic Zombie Movie)

I feel sort of like a doctor: I don’t WANT people to be sick, of course…but if sick people didn’t exist, what the heck would I do?

Tha’s my bread an buttah, man!

I mean, eventually people HAVE to get sick of zombies/infected.
And on that day, I don’t know whether I’ll lament, rejoice, or both.

One thing I empathize with the cast on: the ending shot is beautiful.

Grade: F

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number 0.5 – Frame 2

A couple of people have entered the frame, one apparently from each side going toward the other side. They don’t seem to know each other as there is no hint of recognition, and they appear to be making (appropriate) way for the other.

Person entering from the left is a young adult female; she’s apparently jogging judging by the clothes she is wearing and the manner and pose in which she is drawn. Judging by the manner and pose she is doing so rather leisurely, in no hurry.

Person entering from the right is a young adult male; he seems ready to flash a smile in the jogger’s direction.

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number 0.5 – Frame 1

Frame is of the same area as in strip 1.

It is drawn exactly the same in terms of location, proximity, background, etc…

Clouds are very similar; close enough that they would match the eventual pattern to start strip 1. Weather is the same.

There is noone in the frame. Nothing appears to be taking place at all.

It’s Like This…

Here’s what I’m looking for, for my comic:

An artist who:
1) Can draw well
2) Can create accurate drawings from words
3) Has at least the *TINIEST* interest in my comic
4) Isn’t in it for the money.

I mean I know it’s cool and hipster to say you’re not in it for the money, but some people actually MEAN it. Don Hertzfeldt, for example. Just watch ‘Rejected’.

Not that artists shouldn’t get paid…of course they should.

But if you’re drawing FOR the money, not the craft, then you’re not an artist.

You’re a mercenary.

I haven’t been put in a position where I could prove this, true…but if by some MIRACLE my website got amazingly popular, and people started saying “Hey…I’ll give you X dollars if you give me a good review”, I’d tell them to go fck themselves.

If you don’t believe me, well let me paraphrase a favorite paraphrase:

“You know what? I don’t fcken give a sh1t.”

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 135)

I think this is the only time anyone’s ever succeeded in walking where the ocean meets the sky.

Your life is trillions of moments. This is an example of why you always have to be ready for each one, because it may have slightly more meaning than others.

CLIP BELOW: FAIR USE: CRITICISM

That was the deep part.

AND NOW:

A comment on the video suggests what – if it HAD been done – would indisputably be the greatest anti-climax in the history of film. One that would have dwarfed ‘The Black Eagle’ and left even the semi-divine Pythons in awe and rolling on the floor in laughter. Right before the tv explodes.

“Imagine when He Leaves trough that door, suddenly a Window pops out saying: ,,congrats, you’ve reached level 2″” – Blackshark

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 134)

Check out my post ‘How To Respond Decisively To A Request’. It has been updated to explain the purposes of FAIR USE: CRITICISM.

I will NEVER get tired of amending posts with the proper terms for FAIR USE. You see, there truly is something amazing about the power of just defiance…it gives one an energy beyond what is otherwise possible.

OurY’e Na Tidoi.

Pupdate – Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Drawing Contest

For details, go here:

http://semperpuppy.deviantart.com/journal/A-Little-Contest-610188338

Prizes for finishing in the top three.

Basically, you do drawwwwwings.

And you might get a priiiiiiiiiize.

AND…ABSOLUTELY NO GUARANTEES…But, if I love your picture and you think you can deal with me over a prolonged period of time, I might be interested in paying for Grimmsy comic illustration.

Unfortunately, if you CAN’T draw, there’s no alternative. You must feel Ike’s pain.

There is no Latin contest, nor is there a spelling contest.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – The clip shows an exchange in Latin that is much more interesting and creepy than the same exchange would have been in English; it’s one of the highlights of the film, IMPO. Ha! Criticized!

Pupdate – Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls (5/20/16)

SMALL change of plans…

Instead of changing the comic from text-only descriptions to strips with actual frames containing actual pictures and actual dialogue, I’m going to keep it exactly the same as it is.

I’ll look at it this way:

*I* like Grimmsy, and I can form a mental picture of what’s happening since, you know, I wrote it.

If anyone out there would like to send their Grimmsy fanfic attempts (HAHAHA…it IS funny, trust me), please feel free.

And if I like them I might use them (you sending them is your authorization for me to do so) and put your name up in GREAT BIG NEON LETTERS.

Mhm.

Paperman (Disney Short Film, 2012)

Review for people that think I’ve turned into an unrealistic softie:

Yeah, sure, it’s cute. So what?

As much as your hormones compel you to, and -even if- it was more than just hormones, and -even if- you knew you’d live happily ever after (which you don’t, and you won’t)…there’s nothing “real” or “romantic” about a “love” based on throwing away everything you have (literally) because you wanna fck someone.

Ask ‘Jenifer’.

I’m not jaded enough to think that’s the most common outcome.

But I’m not blindly, hormonally stupid enough to think this is, either.

Reality tends to be somewhere in the middle.

Positivists and Negativists are both just fooling themselves; realists have it right more often than not. And reality is somewhere in the middle, more often than not.

Accepting reality isn’t morbid or pseudo-gothically stupid (Negativists), neither is it everything-is-rainbows stupid (Positivists). It’s somewhere in the middle, NOT stupid.

“Do you like…these things…?”
“No, I don’t. But that’s life.”

Isn’t it?

AND NOW…

Review for everyone else:

“Fiction, Stiles. FICTION.”
“This is, reality-” *KNOCK KNOCK* “Hear that? REALITY.”

Godd@mn fcken right I’m a romantic.

“Romantic” has nothing to do with gender. As EVERYONE knows, plenty of people with male genitalia are romantic, and plenty of people with female genitalia are not. And vice versa. And who cares?

But sh1t like this just doesn’t happen, no matter what the storybooks say.

Even in ‘The Princess Bride’, which is as plausible as I could even -possibly- accept as possible, your “true love” (in *that* case; you have NO IDEA in other cases) doesn’t just blow you a kiss (accidentally) and you then live happily ever after.

Is it sweet to think of that feeling as you’re watching this with someone you hope you feel that way towards and feels that way towards you? Sure.

But are you likely to find them? I mean, really?

No. And wanting’s got nothing to do with it…because “deserve”‘s got nothing to do with it.

Yeah.

I mean, the feeling? Wanting to meet someone, and you both just KNOW you’re gonna spend the next 40 years together?

I’d like to think there’s nothing special or unusual about wanting that.

And watching this, and aching for it (the feeling) to be true, and last forever? Well…

“…Isn’t that what you want?”
“With all my heart and soul…but I haven’t found it yet.”

Grade: B-

Us

“It is this intuitive grasp of the irrational side of

totalitarianism–human sacrifice, cruelty as an end in itself,

the worship of a Leader who is credited with divine

attributes–that makes Zamyatin’s book superior to Huxley’s.

It is easy to see why the book was refused publication. The

following conversation (I abridge it slightly) between D-503 and

I-330 would have been quite enough to set the blue pencils

working:

“Do you realise that what you are suggesting is

revolution?”

“Of course, it’s revolution. Why not?”

“Because there can’t be a revolution. Our revolution was

the last and there can never be another. Everybody knows that.”

“My dear, you’re a mathematician: tell me, which is the

last number?”

“But that’s absurd. Numbers are infinite. There can’t be a

last one.”

“Then why do you talk about the last revolution?””

– from George Orwell’s review of ‘We’ by E.I. Zamyatin


“They are waiting for me below… do you want these minutes,

which are our last?” I-330

“How can I explain what this ancient, ridiculous, miraculous

rite does to me, when her lips touch mine? What formula could

express this whirlwind that clears my soul of everything except

her? Yes, my soul, yes…laugh if you want to.” D-503

The Lost Works Of Anna Dalton – Part Ten

Her eyes would be closed the whole time, and her arm would move as smoothly and gently as the music washes over you.

As to what this song meant to her, the only hint would be the very faint smile in her eyes when she finally opened them; if you were watching very carefully…and even if you had no idea what it meant, you would know that it was completely without guile.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A brilliant ending to a very interesting movie.

Site Review – Recent YouTube Tailored Advert

YouTube’s great and all…I mean, just for MST3K shorts and Python bits alone…but my duty is clear:

You only get one call.

If you’re desperate enough to call this number, that means you don’t have a lawyer and can’t afford a really good one. It also means you’re stupid enough to look ON YOUTUBE for a lawyer. D@MN.

So, with the chances totally up in the air as to whether the lawyer you get will suck or not, always consider the following…

…when things are on the line, and the chances are just as good either way…would you rather have a young, attractive blonde woman or an ugly middle-aged fat guy?

Who knows, she might even find you irresistibly attractive.

This message brought to you by Shameless, Exploitative, Wakeman & Howe & Crosby & Stills & Nash & sometimes Young & Donner & Blitzen & Grumpy & Sneezy & Bashful & Ahwon & Ahtoo & Alvin & Simon & Theodore & Lo & Low & Lowe & Behold & E. Dufresne.

(a subsidiary of ConHugeCo)

Site Review – Shmoop.com

I didn’t exactly conduct a thorough search of all available entries, BUT…

From my experience reading the informative, easily accessible and occasionally amusing notes on ‘We’, as well as seeing a similar pattern in the entry for Orwell’s ‘1984’, this seems to be a useful and interesting resource for relatively intelligent book summaries.

The site is designed as a ‘X For Dummies’ sort of amusing cheatsheet on a wide variety of things. I have absolutely no use for the “test preparation” sections (which is fine, since I’m not reviewing them)…but speaking only in terms of “I’m interested in X…I’d like to learn the basics in a comprehensible but still accurate fashion”, this is a worthy site for random information/inspiration seekers; from what I can gather, at least.

Oh, and after reading the staff summary, a guest review from Harry Caray:

“CUBS WIN!”

As well as some brilliant food for thought:

“If you were a hotdog, and you were starvin’ to death…would you eat yourself?”

As with the questions posed by ‘We’ and ‘1984’, there are no easy answers.

Interesting. Really.

http://www.shmoop.com/we/

Good stuff. Thank you shmoop!

A small excerpt re: ‘We’ –

“George Orwell actively cited it as influencing his novel ‘1984’, and even chided Huxley for not doing the same.”

– On ‘We’…and right on. Orwell was at least authentic in the Jarmuschian sense. And he was a hell of a lot more talented, but that’s neither here nor there.

I give it a solid 6.9.

Wrapped In Security/Movie Re-View, 5/18/16

“The point is I would gladly step in front of traffic for you…”

“…and the last thing, I would ever do…is lie to you.”

Hey, remember when I opined about which was worse, fascism or anarchism? I do.

“Cue the Sun.”

Well, this is “gentle, benign, loving” fascism. Sweeter than Landru and as adaptable as any other brave new world.

People in general are selfish, self-centered a$$holes. So don’t give me that lunacy about people “being able to govern themselves”.

But, given the controls necessary to protect decent people from scumbags (that would be agreed upon by anyone except a lunatic)…the former is just so much worse than the latter; so much more inhuman, more wrong.

Orwell overestimated people. Most of us don’t need fear to keep us in line, just enough personal comfort to pretend everything else is ok.

It’s only a matter of time before something approaching ‘Brave’ is available, and most people say “yes, please!” to carefully monitored, administered, benign and loving control.

Check out a great horror film.

Updated: The Truman Show

Pupdate – Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls (5/18/16)

Tentative plans are in the works to convert Grimmsy into a comic with pictures and stuff (THINK OF IT!).

Assuming this happens, this is what will basically happen, and when:

– The existing strips I’ve written will be converted to picture-filled, comic strip form. ETA: Don’t know. But I’d like to see it ASAP, so there’s that.
– The existing “text versions” that I’ve written and posted will remain.
– Future strips will (hopefully) be presented in comic-strip form only: I’m still writing them and deciding what happens, what goes where, etc…but (again, tentatively planned) these words and ideas will be translated to appropriate pictures-and-dialogue form.

P.S. – To the one person that seems to be getting my latest posts almost immediately – I pretty much wrote this in case you were waiting for more Grimmsy, so you could stop going “Godd@mnit! WTF is this cr@p???” every time you were hoping for Grimmsy and got non-Grimmsy.

If you’re NOT waiting for more Grimmsy, I don’t know what it is you have any interest in on my site, but hey, nice to see ya.

You know, it’s actually pretty cool to see someone presumably interested in Grimmsy. Because he’s just flippin’ adorable. I would break the fourth wall a little more, but that’s nearing the bounds of creepy and consumer-whorey.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

How “Aching” Applies To Beauty As Well As Sadness

Unlike some people, I’m GLAD I have strong emotions.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If one of these doesn’t make you cry – or want to cry – I feel very sorry for you, and for the world that contains so many of you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjyL7_DROTs

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – These clips are all of emotional scenes that are worthy of being watched in the context of their original (complete) format. To review their quality, it is very good-to-great.

Re: ‘A Gentle Reminder’ Post

Hmmmm…well, let’s dispense with the BS about why people post here. Deep down inside, you all know THIS is why:

Come on…you know you want to…

(An Antitheist) I was going to think of something smart to say… but I think “awww, aren’t you the cutest little special snowflake” will have to suffice for now.

Come on, X. Who’s living in the real world, and who’s living in a fantasy kingdom now? What you mean to say is “Go fck yourself you stupid fcken fck!” So just SAY it, for God’s sake. (that was unintentional, I neither confirm nor deny the existence or non-existence of a deity or deities).

“Well, that’s mere cocktail-party psychology Sam. Believe it or not, it is possible to have hostile feelings towards someone, WITHOUT being in love with them.” – Frasier Crane

(AA) You seem rather desperate for attention there, dude.

Be that as it may, I’m the one telling the truth, and you’re the one in denial. You know it’s true. I’d have a LITTLE respect for you if you’d just have the guts to admit it. You know…the truth? What you’re supposed to love?

(AA) “I’d have a little respect for you, if you only admitted that I am the ultimate holder of the truth and I know you better than you know yourself”.
Nah. You know what? I don’t think I need your respect.

You’re saying you have absolutely no interest in seeing a theist get ripped to shreds (metaphorically speaking) by Hitchens or Dawkins? I mean…really?

(AA) Not really. I occasionally like what Hitchens has to say, but it’s just as interesting if he isn’t “ripping a theist to shreds”.

Come on. We can’t have a real discussion if you’re going to cling to these fairy tales.

(AA) I’m kinda wondering why you need me to talk anyway, if you already know me better than I know myself. You could just fill in my part of the “discussion” for me, right?

No…the only thing I know is that you’re lying about your motivation. Apart from that, I don’t have the slightest idea who you are or what you think, or why, nor do I care.

Here’s a similar reaction (I love quotes): “Mr. Ambassador, you have nearly a hundred naval vessels operating in the North Atlantic right now. Your aircraft has dropped enough sonar buoys so that a man could walk from Greenland to Iceland to Scotland without getting his feet wet. Now, shall we dispense with the bull? ”

(AA) Sadly, I think the only thing you know, is also wrong. At least that means you have something in common with the one Game of Thrones character.

Que?

5/18/16: *Mills* “…you’re no different, you’re no better.” *Somerset* “I didn’t say I was different or better…”

*Somerset* “Ernest Hemingway once wrote, ‘The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part.”

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Interesting clips. (housekeeping)

A Gentle Reminder

There’s intellectual cowardice, sure.

There’s also intellectual bullying.

Lest you forget, ye of little bulk, the not-so-long-ago days when people were MADE FUN OF for being smart?

You know…dumb people would physically abuse smart people? Because they were easy targets? Because the dumb people wanted to feel better about themselves, and beating up nerds did that for them?

Remember that? I do.

Which is exactly why I’m not a bully.

To pick on someone and attack them (intellectually) because they’re an easy target…because you want to feel better about yourself, and (mentally) beating up people not as smart as you are does that for you?

It’s like…to yell and scream (literally or figuratively) for your right to be an atheist and against the a$$holes that demand you fall in line with their theism…

And then to demand that everyone fall in line with your atheism, and if they don’t to mercilessly attack them.

You become what you hate.

And you can try that “educating them” bullsh1t all day…

Everyone KNOWS (including you) that you’re NOT demanding theists become atheist because it’s logical…because you believe in educating…because you want to raise overall awareness…or ANY of the “intellectual” reasons ANYONE gives.

Everyone KNOWS, deep down inside, that – while there may be secondary factors involved, and while you may be EXACTLY RIGHT IN EVERYTHING YOU SAY (where applicable…) – the REASON…the REASON you’re calling out theists, and going to rallies, and coining the term “Hitch-slap”, and inviting “debates”, and…

The REASON you’re doing that is the same reason D. Vinyard discovered:

It’s just cuz you’re pissed off.

You’re pissed that your logic has been repressed, and so you’re lashing out.

I mean, I’m not saying in every case I BLAME you…

But that’s what you’re doing. And you KNOW it. So, stop pretending you give a fck about educating theists. Stop pretending you actually believe worldwide atheism would solve all the world’s problems.

You get off on mocking theists. PERIOD.

The same way I LOVE IT whenever I watch Tyson-Douglas and see Douglas DROP that scumbag…that’s you. I mean…it’s as base as that.

It’s the intellectual’s version of watching a hockey fight, or a prize fight, or slowing down to look at a car wreck.

Some dark, angry, primal part of you GETS OFF on it.

You KNOW it’s true. So just admit it, and stop lying when you supposedly believe all about “spreading the truth”.

You CAN’T believe in truth when you LIE about why you’re spreading it.

Now, here’s my version of you watching Hitchens or Dawkins drop an outmatched theist opponent (metaphorically speaking):

*Link Taken Down, Probably Out Of CA/A Angst*

So just go to Youtube and search for “Mike Tyson Buster Douglas”.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 131)

This isn’t meant for people that think they’re Napoleon or the moon is made of green cheese. And if you’re a fcken scumbag (as defined by me previously) then you shouldn’t be reading this anyways.

But for every other reasonable point on the subjectivity spectrum – and subjective evaluation of events is all life really is (A little bit Hicks, a little bit Tsunetomo) – I think this is important.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 130)

No bullsh1t, no exaggeration. This is my experience with ECT:

Not reading, not hearing, not “research”.

Experience. Reality.

*knock knock* Hear that? REALITY.

It helps and it hurts.

Calm and serenity are genuine positives to people who are intensely suffering. I know that.

The question is: how much are you suffering?

The second question is: how much are you willing to have your self (your personality, your beliefs, your CONVICTION) dulled in order to make your torment more bearable?

Real questions. My answers may not be yours. But those are the questions.

And they have to be your answers. On your terms, noone else’s.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 128)

Since the greatest example of the perfect LaVeyan Satanist is a parasite; a tick, or mosquito…

Is that what you want to emulate?

In all the vast recesses of your mind, is that really the best aspiration you can come up with?

And, the convenient thing is…since your philosophy STATES that your preservation is the highest law OF THE philosophy, any other aspect of the philosophy is – according to the philosophy itself – disposable if and when necessary.

In the following ending duel, there’s one good LaVeyan example and one HORRIBLE LaVeyan. See if you can pick them out.

Bridgewater State Hospital/Titicut Follies

Here’s the lowdown. Not from 1967, and not from someone PAID BY THE FACILITY. From someone there within the past five years.

I don’t see the big deal in trying to ban people from watching the 1967 film ‘Titicut Follies’.

Not because it wouldn’t be disturbing, but because (and if you don’t believe this, you could probably use a BSH evaluation) EVERYONE KNOWS that no matter WHAT it shows, the party line will be: “That was X years ago…things are much better now.”

And, since no movies have been made showing BSH life since ‘Titicut Follies’, almost 50 years ago, how exactly can that statement be either proved or disproved, at all, with any reliability?

Well…the only people who KNOW how things work there now (or, recently, at least) are:
1) Employees
2) Inmates…I MEAN “Patients”

Right? I mean, how can anyone deny the most incredibly BASE and SIMPLISTIC logic that makes that an inevitable fact?

So the only people that know how things work there now – and therefore the only people who have ANY credibility in saying “It’s better”, “It’s worse”, “It’s the same”, or anything else in that regard – are employees and inmates.

Since the employees are all part of the same fra(with a little ma)ternity, since the state PAYS THEIR SALARIES, since they all have a common interest in having BSH portrayed as “well-run” and “humane”…is it REALLY a stretch to say “Well…opinions from BSH employees would tend to be exaggeratedly positive, at best.”

You know…because that’s their JOBS they’re talking about. WTF do you expect?

“Yeah, this place is a sh1thole, we treat people horribly…so, where’s my next check?”

I mean, to believe you’re going to get anything CLOSE to an “objective” opinion from staff (who get paid by the state) and the state (who pays the staff…see the symbiosis?)…well, now THAT is insane.

It’s insulting any reasonable person’s intelligence to suggest that is the case, and/or to suggest they BELIEVE that is the case because “well, we told you to.”

So the QUESTION is…how do you get an accurate portrayal of the way things are, NOW (or at least, very recently), when staff has a vested incentive to make things seem better than reality and “patients” (admittedly, in the same not-insulting-your-intelligence way) a vested incentive to make things seem worse than reality?

Well, you find people that 1) USED to work there, and are willing to tell it like it really is (in their experience), and people that 2) USED to be “patients” there, are NO LONGER patients there, have been completely removed from the BSH “system”, have no great bias towards the system for exceptionally horrific personal treatment, have NO personal incentive to praise OR criticize the system, and who are willing to be honest and even-handed in their evaluation of a system they, IN FACT, experienced first-hand.

As for number 2: Hi. That would be me.

So here goes:

First, anything you see in ‘Titicut Follies’ is COMPLETELY irrelevant. That’s 1967. There is no intrinsic connection between that, and modern BSH. Don’t be upset about what happened there almost fifty years ago. Be upset over what MIGHT BE happening there NOW.

Second, any comments suggesting that BSH has “improved” or “advanced” from ‘Titicut Follies’ – made by people with a vested interest to say so – are just as COMPLETELY irrelevant. Of COURSE they’re going to say that. Doesn’t make it true or untrue…it’s the standard party line, and so such statements are utterly meaningless.

To put any weight in either as realistic evidence of “Today’s BSH” is sloppy, lazy, and ignorant at best. And, I happen to know from actually BEING THERE…just plain WRONG. IMPO, of course.

The fact is, BSH is both better and worse than shown in ‘Titicut Follies’.

Let’s look at the positives and negatives one by one:

Positives:

1) Obviously, available medications have improved. The amount of different medications, the skill at prescribing said medications, the effectiveness of said medications (since everyone isn’t just given the same tranquilizers and “hope for the best…”) is improved. I’ve seen that…it’s a fact. OVERALL, it’s a fact. Now, this – to me – is more indicative of the progress of medication therapy IN GENERAL than to any change in “philosophy” at BSH; they work with what they have, and now they have a lot more options. They would have to be colossally inept and/or malicious NOT to prescribe more effectively.

1b) In a thirty day period of observing medication prescription and dispersal, my AUTHENTIC observation was that – for the most part – patients were given at least arguably appropriate medications at at least arguably appropriate levels. Also, FOR THE MOST PART, patients’ concerns over medications were given at least SOMEWHAT of an audience and the patients’ own evaluations of their feelings were taken into SOME account.

So, from what *I* observed, as someone RIGHT THERE, this area (once you were out of ITU…see “Negatives” below) was handled fairly well, and fairly professionally.

2) Obviously, facilities visible to the casual visitor (the main grounds, the visiting room, anything of that sort) are relatively clean and well-kept. This is GOOD, I guess…but what does it really mean? Nothing. Unless you’re DUMB enough to think that “Well…the lawn looks nice, so…the cells must be nice too.” I mean…really? It’s appearance, it’s good for business since people that CAN COMPLAIN (visitors) see it; of course it looks decent. Nothing to do whatsoever with what goes on inside, for better or worse.

2b) OVERALL, in my observation, facilities were GENERALLY both in decent shape and available to MOST patients (See “ITU” below). There was space to exercise, there was space to go outside, there was a decent-sized library (good enough, at least), there was adequate space for patient size, and so on.

So, again from MY observation, facilities were adequate in terms of exercise, outside space, medical, library, etc.

There were even Church (well, large room with lots of chairs and a priest) services for those that wished to attend, and the occasional MOVIE.

All of these things: Medical, library, exercise, church services, etc… had one thing in common. They were provided by employees that were NOT guards. Make of that what you will. It seemed the general attitude of the guards (IN GENERAL…) towards all these things was indifferent tolerance. Sort of “Fine, whatever…go, don’t, whatever…just don’t fck with me and don’t fck up my schedule.”

Which, come to think of it, is a pretty reasonable attitude, given that they weren’t there to be your friend, they were there to guard you. Guard the non-guards from the patients, guard the patients from the other patients, etc…

3) Most of the “professional” staff (Doctors, Psychiatrists, and the like) behaved in a fairly professional manner.

4) SOME OF the guards behaved in a decent, professional, responsible manner. They did their jobs, and as long as you didn’t act like a pr1ck or intensely fck with them or their responsibilities, they returned the courtesy to you. Which, really, is all you could realistically ask.

Negatives:

1) Obviously, since people who end up LEAVING BSH (patients, that is) can speak freely about their OWN experiences, treatment toward those both a) EXPECTED to leave and b) EXPECTED to be coherent and at least somewhat literate would tend (IMPO) to be more civilized and less abusive. Make of that what you will.

1b) Example: I was in ITU at the same time as someone else who was extremely vocal. I HEARD what this person said, and what was said to them AND about them. I UNDERSTOOD how this person was viewed, in general, by the guards that I heard. This person was viewed as a) someone that could be safely mocked and/or ignored, b) someone whose complaints to anyone about such treatment would be ignored, c) someone that had noone on the outside advocating for them or keeping tabs on how they were treated. There was noone there that gave a sh1t, and even if there WAS, this person was too mentally ill to coherently complain, and even if they COULD it would be their word against 2+ guards. In other words, he was FCKED, and the guards knew it. And, you know, I’m sorry…I don’t like bullies. And the ones who picked on this guy…that’s all they were; bullies aren’t any better or worse with a uniform and a badge.

Now, *I* was much more coherent than this person. I was much more able to understand what was happening, to REMEMBER what was happening and repeat it to my lawyer when they eventually showed up. I was much more able to verbally defend myself from constant random insults; the only “treatment” you received in ITU was being treated to abuse. Quite frankly I didn’t give much of a sh1t what they were saying about ME, but I *DID* care that they were verbally and emotionally abusing someone who was obviously in SEVERE emotional pain and who was just as obviously UNABLE to defend themself from such abuse. So, I basically tried asking (reasonably) why they were abusing someone for no reason. And when they told me to go fck myself and kept laughing at him (and me), I just said random bullsh1t back to them whenever they said random bullsh1t to him. And, like the DUMBA$$ COWARDS they were (and most bullies are), when confronted with a non-helpless opponent, their balls shrunk and they shut the fck up. And FCK ’em. You see, I was much more able to respond coherently…I was also much more able to COMPLAIN coherently and REMEMBER to do so. So, for these reasons, I was not subject to anywhere near the amount of abuse as this other person.

2) From conversations overheard from MULTIPLE sources, including directly from people supposedly affected who seemed perfectly coherent and reasonable in their statements and explanations, the duration of one’s stay at BSH was – at least at times – not of primary concern to those in charge. All 30-Day Evaluations are equal, but some 30-Day Evaluations are more equal than others.

2b) From what I remember, and what I gathered, and what I heard, and what I pieced together from coherent information…there were some people who had been at BSH FAR longer than they should have been. Whose “evaluation” had ended, according to THE LAW in such matters, but who remained there regardless.

I’m not talking about 31 days instead of 30. I’m talking WEEKS, even MONTHS over the LEGALLY ASSIGNED time. And it seems to ME, that these people were those least able to advocate for themselves, and least able to have others advocate for them from outside BSH.

3) SOME of the “professional” staff behaved in a lazy and unprofessional manner.

4) A LOT of the guards (I can’t say what percentage, or “most”, or whatever…it’s too far back to be that precise) were just a$$holes, plain and simple. They obviously had fun making fun of/pushing around the patients, got off on their mini power trips, didn’t give a sh1t about what they were supposed to be doing, and cared a hell of a lot more about “So, what are you doing when your shift’s over?” than “So, what should I be doing now for, like…my job?”

5) This is very subjective, admittedly…and it does NOT apply to ALL “evaluators”…but consider this:

It is a FACT that MANY “patients” (myself for one) there had not been found guilty of *ANYTHING* in a court of law.

Because you are sent for an “evaluation” of your mental state does NOT (supposedly, at least) have ANYTHING to do with “guilt” or “innocence” of ANYTHING…it has to do with: “Is this person mentally competent to stand trial?”. That’s the key…STAND TRIAL. Trial. Where you go, being presumed innocent until proven guilty. You know…the criminal “justice” system.

However, let’s be real. If the case that will be brought against anyone “evaluated” will be (and I think it will) ‘State Of Massachusetts Vs. X’, do you think the State of Massachusetts wants ANYONE to be found innocent?

In other words, do you think the State of Massachusetts WANTS to bring a case against someone and LOSE? Of course not.

Now just think for yourself, but here are a few facts:

– The District Attorney/Assistant DA/Etc are State employees
– Everyone working at BSH is a State employee
– “Evaluations” that strengthen the State’s case and weaken the individual’s benefit: The State and injure: The Individual
– Generally, organizations that are on the same side tend to work together.

This has been a subjective analysis made by someone that was relatively lucky in that he wasn’t dumped there and forgotten. A lot of people with mental illness DO NOT have anyone noticing when they “vanish”, and it is therefore much easier to get away with poor treatment on such people…

Because, who the fck are they gonna complain to?

A mentally ill person, against an entire SYSTEM, with noone to help them? Complaining to…what…”internal affairs”?

Oh, yeah, that sounds really effective.

IN ALL FAIRNESS: There were many people I encountered at BSH who were NOT abusive; psychiatrists, officers, counselors, even patients who went out of their way to help those that obviously needed help.

Some. There were SOME of those people. And there were also PLENTY of people that gave exactly as much of a sh1t as they had to: namely, none.

Things are as they have been, and will be, in any place where power is curtailed only by those that wield it and where those that are subject to it have virtually no recourse.

Think about it: There most certainly ARE at least some sadistic SOB’s working there…do you really think, if one of them had a problem with a “patient” they would hesitate to toss them into ITU (solitary) until they were good and ready to let them out? Based on WHATEVER rationale they wanted to use?

Because, it would come down to this:

Noone in ITU (“patient”) sees anyone else in ITU. Therefore, each “patient” has only their word working for them…if they are even coherent enough to have THAT (therapy does NOT take place in ITU, and medications are sloppily prescribed AT BEST).

On the other hand, every guard has at least one other guard working with them.

So…if a patient says he was abused, beaten, degraded, etc…and a guard denies it, and has a partner to back their side up…who gets believed?

THINK ABOUT IT.

Now, does this mean all guards/authorities are sadists and all “patients” are poor, helpless victims? Of course not.

I saw instances where people in authority were acting perfectly reasonably and “patients” decided to insult/threaten/attack them.

But if you don’t think the opposite happens too, you’re just living in a fantasy world.

The fact is, you can be sent to ITU for the SLIGHTEST things, and once you’re there you DON’T GET OUT until they’re good and ready to let you out.

And the daily serenading of the “patients” with insults and laughter by (some of) the guards is of questionable treatment value, I think. And when “patients” get upset that they’re treated like rat sh1t? Well, they’re being uncooperative…another day in the hole.

If you get sent there, and noone outside BSH knows you were sent there (if you even have someone outside BSH that would care), you’re fcked.

THEY DON’T TELL PEOPLE. People outside have to DIRECTLY find out. Meaning they have to ASK if a person is there. And even then, from my recollection, “patients” in ITU are neither confirmed nor denied. So you can godd@mn ROT there, in some instances, if they feel like letting you.

No confirmation, no visitors, no therapy, and quite often no hope.

How, exactly, is this “Intensive Treatment”?

ITU – what a joke. There was NO therapy in ITU. ITU was BSH’s LTI-speak for “Solitary”. It consisted of being thrown into a CELL no larger (and probably smaller) than you imagine a jail cell being, with a lumpy beanbag “mattress” in the center that was relatively unstained if you were lucky. You received a threadbare “blanket” that covered maybe half your body. The lighting consisted of one bulb flickering overhead (the light from the hall was blocked by the very-reinforced door) and the occasional stream of light from the one heavily barred window VERY high in the cell. The toilet seemed to work all the time, but ODDLY the sink seemed to sometimes work, sometimes not. And noone would come in to adjust it…it simply did NOT work sometimes. Same mechanism, different result. So if you want to be really charitable you can say shoddy pipe system, and if not you can say wellllllll maybe some of the guards might have fcked with some of the inmates…PATIENTS. The food delivery system went thusly: “Here’s your *insert name of meal here*”…your responses available were “Ok/thank you/etc”, in which case the food was slid through a small horizontal hole briefly opened in the doorframe, or anything else (ranging from the extremely benign…”I just threw up I can’t look at food now” to the extremely malignant… “Fck you motherfcker!”) in which case you were marked as “Refusing Food”. That was a strike to getting out of ITU, so accepting it and then passing it right back 15 mins later was the way to go if you thought you might vomit. Otherwise, even the most polite, benign, REASONABLE response (“I just threw up, I can’t look at food, I’m sorry”) was taken EXACTLY the same way: “Patient Refused Food”.

I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what the “Guards” were there for – and they were there, always. I mean, the cell doors were THICK, REINFORCED doors…noone was “breaking out”. Basically all *I* heard the guards do was talk about their personal lives and make fun of the patients, some of whom were obviously in EXTREME mental and/or physical pain.

I’m not talking about me, either. I’m not whining because they were mean to me. I’ve been around mentally ill people. I can tell when someone is SEVERELY mentally ill – severely depressed, suicidal, etc…

I HEARD, for a FACT, at least one patient who was OBVIOUSLY, to even the most casual observer, in EXTREME pain and distress…and not only did they do NOTHING to help them AT ALL, they actually went OUT OF THEIR WAY to yell at and MAKE FUN OF them. They seemed to think it was funny.

And wow, that takes a lot of balls, huh? To have a weapon, be backed up by another guard with a weapon (at LEAST one other guard), be in a position of complete power, be separated by a reinforced, multi-locked door, and make fun of someone in the equivalent of rags, with no weapons and a supposedly compromised mentality.

I HEARD this happening. And the patient wasn’t yelling psychotic sh1t at the guards…they weren’t screaming threats, they weren’t acting like fcken psychos, they weren’t acting “dangerous”…they were screaming IN PAIN, they were asking for HELP. And the response was – from some at least – “Oh, shut up!…So, anyway, did you see the game-”

So basically, you have to bite your fcken tongue, accept the verbal abuse from the guards and the sh1t conditions, act reasonable even though you’re being treated UNREASONABLY, be very calm and pleasant…and then, maybe, you get out of ITU and into the main system.

Placement in/removal from ITU was seemingly based on the morning rounds doctor’s mood and how compliant you were.

I don’t mean he was reasonable and you screamed at him. I mean, he asked questions and if you didn’t give the proper answers (to his liking, IMPO) then they slid the little door shut and you waited til the next day for another chance at it.

Once in the main system, this is what I saw/experienced:

As in ITU, there was NO therapy. There was NO “treatment”. You were given the meds your outside psychiatrist had ALREADY prescribed for you (unless they reduced or cut them off), and that was it.

ITU “therapist” meetings were to decide: “Does he get out of ITU today or not?”. Nothing more.

Main system “therapist” meetings were extremely infrequent. You could ASK to see a therapist, but that was a request…it could very easily be denied.

And I think everyone KNEW that the therapists weren’t there to give “therapy”, because the vast majority of requests that *I* saw/heard about were about getting things done such as obtaining a form necessary to put numbers on for people you could call, getting paper to actually write on if you wanted to communicate with someone outside the facility, etc…

This whole Op-Ed piece is written pretty chaotically, but I think it gets the point(s) across.

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE AT BSH, AND YOU CARE ABOUT THEM:

Make sure they’re being treated humanely.

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Fourteen

Grimmsy appears to have either not noticed the man’s attempt or has chosen to consciously ignore it, as his form is now about a third of the way out of the frame and moving slowly and steadily, without pause.

Man, after one final glance at his corpse and with a faint sigh to his ghostly features, begins to move in the direction Grimmsy is exiting, looking both casual and somewhat unsure in movement in his new form.

END

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Thirteen

Frame is much smaller than normal.

Grimmsy has begun to move past both the man’s spirit form and dead body; he moves with a formal and (attempted) “regal” posture, as if he fully expects to be followed, not looking back to ensure that is the case.

Man purses his semi-substantial lips, narrows his semi-substantial eyes, and swipes out at the SOUS as Grimmsy passes, but his ghostly hand merely passes through it.

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Twelve

Man gazes back to the tiny figure now very close to him; he does not seem properly chastised, more just a bit annoyed and slightly impatient.

Grimmsy’s purple eyes shift up to gaze at the man’s ghostly ones, still the picture of formality and decorum with his SOUS almost scraping the top of the frame. His speech/thought bubble is unaffected by the man’s annoyance as he addresses him as before.

DIALOGUE: “If you will follow me, Sir, I shall guide your essence on to its proper destination.”

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Eleven

Man has gazed back from the approaching Grimmling to his own dead body; he seems saddened by it, perhaps saying goodbye.

Grimmsy glides ever closer, continuing to gently chastise the man for forcing this rather unseemly behavior, seemingly MUCH more concerned with the perceived etiquette breach than by the man’s silent goodbye to his corpse.

DIALOGUE: “As you see, it would have been much more appropriate for you to have simply accepted your fate and come as I bade you.”

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Ten

Man maintains an annoyed little frown as he crosses his semi-substantial arms over one another (more like INTO one another actually, obviously not having mastered the intricacies of ghostly form) and waits for the little creature to do something.

Grimmsy finally begins to move toward the man (walking or very-close-to-the-ground floating of some sort), holding the SOUS steady and vertical as he does so. His Speech/Thought Bubble has the same appearance it’s always had, the perfectly formed letters tilted just slightly to show a certain gentle but firm reproachment.

DIALOGUE: “I apologize for having to resort to such methods, Sir. I can only stress that, if you had come willingly to begin with, this would not have been necessary.”

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Nine

Man looks somewhat annoyed in his resignation as he turns his ghostly gaze back toward Grimmsy. “Speaking” again – in the same manner as before – to Grimmsy, his words make both things clear in both form and composition.

Grimmsy seems prepared to respond, quietly allowing the man to “speak” first however.

DIALOGUE: “Well??? What now?”

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Seven

Frame size is back to normal.

Grimmsy remains still and stoic: posture (as described) and appearance (tiny form, cute purple eyes, absurdly large scythe “held” carefully vertical and still) at odds.

Man pauses, confused, glancing down at his own dead body, lying at his own ghostly, semi-substantial feet.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 127)

I always asked myself, if I could choose to be “normal”…socially, emotionally, mentally…at the cost of becoming the same sort of a$$hole I’ve railed against for so long, would I? And my answer has always been no. An honest, genuine no. Because who I *am* – the things I believe in and the way I conduct myself – is what is worthwhile about me, what makes me ME. And I wouldn’t want any change – no matter how otherwise benign or effective – that would lessen that importance to me.

That’s a fact, Jack. I had mindless contentment right there in front of me and I told it to go fck itself.

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Six

Frame is much smaller than the previous ones, indicating a quick change/action.

Grimmsy remains as he was, expression much the same. He seems to be comfortable in it, as if this is what he was expecting/hoping for in terms of himself…in the sense of mission accomplished, maintaining the proper respectful solemnness, etc.

Spirit-form man has gazed back to Grimmsy from the “speech bubble” that was above his head in the previous frame, said bubble now faded almost entirely as if – whatever it was – it was mostly insubstantial at best and has/had a very limited lifespan. His expression is still confusion, perhaps expecting to see some sort of explanation in Grimmsy, or perhaps just the remnant of a quick reaction.

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Five

Grimmsy remains where he is, as does the amazing colossal scythe. His expression is still one of faint regret, solemn; he doesn’t appear bothered by the man’s (spirit’s) anger, as if he understands it, or at least appreciates the legitimacy of it…especially in light of the man apparently having yet to discover that he’s actually dead.

The gaseous man blinks, eyes tilting up slightly to apparently gaze at the “speech bubble” just above him. Whether he simply hears a change, senses one, or actually sees the bubble itself is open for conjecture at this point. His look of annoyance has been replaced by one of momentary confusion, this development obviously having taken him completely by surprise.

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Four

Grimmsy now “holds” (with or without hands, as usual, undetermined) the SOUS completely vertically: being entirely out in the open now, it can be seen that the staff is in fact a real “staff” – an obviously carved single piece of wood which, from the size of it, must have come from a source almost as tall as the tree Grimmsy stands/floats next to. The pattern is similar enough to his previous staff to suggest a connection (probably the same carver) but is quite clearly also independent. It’s also very silly-looking, since when held fully upright the actual scythe blade almost scrapes the top of the frame. Basically it looks like an entire tree was quite possibly used to make this, and all it appears to be is a MUCH MUCH larger version of Grimmsy’s “regular” scythe, adjusted for length only (the blade is not to scale but instead only as big as the regular one, the shaft isn’t any thicker, etc, etc…). So the impression it gives off is “silly, useless, and really weird”; this impression is obviously (and very) at odds with Grimmsy’s intended impression: serious, “commanding”, solemn and “otherworldly” in an amazing sense…but it seems to fit with his UNINTENDED impression: cute, solemn, and “otherworldly” in a “WTF is that???” sense.

The gaseous cloud has fully formed, now, into what it appeared it was going to: the man, looking “alive” in terms of posture as opposed to the still quite-lifeless non-gaseous body lying on the ground. The two are now separate, the man floating just the tiniest bit above the grass, and his own dead body visible through his slightly obscuring, semi-substantial new (gaseous) form.

The gaseous man seems rather annoyed, “eyes” narrowed as he “looks” over at Grimmsy. He “speaks”, apparently, right away: the moment his new form is whole, that is. As he does so he appears not to have noticed his own dead body lying on the ground close to him, or anything else really since the gentle “POKE” from Grimmsy that resulted in his death.

His “speech bubble” is altered from his previous ones: it doesn’t come from his mouth directly in a manner definitely indicating SPEECH, nor does it look quite like Grimmsy’s usual “speech bubble”; it’s somewhat insubstantial, like the man, a bit less “real” or solid than his previous one or Grimmsy’s. It also lacks the formality and near-Calligraphy quality of Grimmsy’s lettering; much more a vague, not-quite-as-there version of his previous casual speech.

DIALOGUE: “Look…this is ridiculous…why don’t you just-“

Grimmsy Grimmling, Escort Of Souls – Number Four – Frame Three

The man’s body is unmoving and unchanged: quite clearly still dead.

Grimmsy has succeeded in retracting most of the SOUS, lifting it upwards as the base of the shaft comes closer to where his hands (if any) would be waiting to hold it. It appears that this time he is pulling the base of the shaft towards his hands-or-lack-thereof, and subsequently the scythe is rising fairly straight up from where he “stands”, the blade on the end of it rising into the air much the same as a flag being hoisted up a great distance over a very small person or persons. The blade itself is incredibly small compared to the rest of the scythe; it looks roughly the same size as the blade on the previous, normal-sized (tiny) scythe, and the higher it is raised the more absurd both it – and Grimmsy – appear, as it looks both completely unwieldy (though he seems to be managing fine) and also, from the sharp contrast in sizes, completely useless (though it did manage to poke the man to death, apparently).

The gaseous form has begun to quite obviously take on the shape of the man’s body (before it was poked to death, that is) as it rises and – more and more – becomes semi-substantial and quite evidently self-aware, the closer it comes to its final form…whatever that is, exactly.