Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

The Inquisition: Legacy MUD

Topic: The Inquisition, basically. With a little magic, conniving, nobility…etc…

Review: Pretty good overall.

LOTS of info to learn, but plenty of leeway to learn it.

Imms are helpful and informed, and (MOST OF) the players are decent and also decent roleplayers; both being important.

Of course, there ARE exceptions. But hey…nothing’s perfect.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Sir Rollin’ Da Cereal – Portrait Of A Serial Mediocre (Satire By Puppy)

Should you ever meet Rollin’, be aware that they are the King of not capitalizing, EVER…with roleplays they don’t give a f*ck about.

Punctuation and OOC/IC aren’t big, either. Here are some gems:

1) Question posed OOC: “Do you motion for me to lead, or is follow an OOC command?”

OOC response: “go ahead”

Unfortunately, since I was going to REACT to the motion, saying “go ahead” isn’t particularly helpful. It IS lazy, though.

2) “this is probably meant to see how your emfeddedadefe skills fair as that is a big part of our job.””

That’s Gwain-esque. No fare.

3) Rollin’ replies: “…that’s how everyone here plays…”

It ISN’T, Thank G/LOG.

4) Rollin’ says OOCly, “You can leave whenever”

“Ummm…if it’s IC, please say it IC…she expects you to leave.”

Nice of them to inform me of my roleplaying options…I mean option. Attempted translation of their comment: “I’m bored, man…f@ck off.”

4.1) A few minutes later…

Rollin’ says OOCly, “Generally lord bless means goodbye also…so they’ve both said goodbye twice lol”

Hey, at least they capitalize OOC. Commands and jokes, apparently, are the criteria.

5) Rollin’ replies to you, “…I’m not gonna sh1t out a paragraph for you.”

Ahhhh…constipation.

6) “I wasn’t thinking in terms of cost/benefit analysis here…I was noticing you roleplay like a lazy a$$ with me, especially lately. Cuz you don’t give a f*ck…”

“…Emote looks at X and then speaks “yes sure i can help u with that…”

That’s a pretty good approximation, I think. 6.9. Speaking of which…

6.9) “Oh…and stay off the cocaine.”

Just some helpful advice for them.

Name was altered to protect the stupid. Words were altered for naughtiness, order and certain words altered for satirical purposes.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Six

“…It is said, “When you would see into a person’s heart, become ill.” When you are sick or in difficulties, many of those who were friendly or close to you in daily life will become cowards. Whenever anyone is in unhappy circumstances, you should above all inquire after them by visiting or sending some gift. And you should never in your whole life be negligent toward someone from whom you have received a favor. By such things the consideration of others can be seen. In this world the people who will rely on others when they are in difficulties and afterwards not give them a thought are many…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – One character displaying the above towards another in a mostly mediocre film (except for said first character).

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Five

“…Always the pretentious, self-asserting notables turn their backs on the man just as his eyes are closing in death…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Example number 237 of how/why 1) Patrick McGoohan did a really good job of acting in ‘Braveheart’ and 2) The character he portrayed – Edward Longshanks – was not a very nice guy.

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Four

“…In the words of the ancients, one should make his decisions within the space of seven breaths. Lord Takanobu said, “If discrimination is long, it will spoil. ” Lord Naoshige said, “When matters are done leisurely, seven out of ten will turn out badly. A warrior is a person who does things quickly.” When your mind is going hither and thither, discrimination will never be brought to a conclusion. With an intense, fresh and undelaying spirit, one will make his judgments within the space of seven breaths. It is a matter of being determined and having the spirit to break right through to the other side…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – This clip is an example of the quote in movie form; you can figure out for yourself how. It’s a powerful clip because it foreshadows what would seem to be the “final showdown” between the two main characters.

The Village (2004)

Since Shyamalan was given a free pass to create whatever he wanted after making a great (and financially successful) movie in ’99, I take anything further that has his name on it with a grain of salt and a touch of apprehension.

He’s certainly talented, but when one is given complete freedom to indulge their ideas they tend to produce at least SOME really bad ones.

Therefore the main reason for hope with this was the presence of Joaquin Phoenix, whom I have never seen appear in a truly bad film.

Phoenix is fine, as are the rest, but imagine my surprise when the standout of this movie turned out to be someone I’d never heard of before (Bryce Dallas Howard) as Phoenix’s love interest and the real lead of the film.

The story itself is somewhat creepy and certainly well done (acted, directed, etc) but this is no ‘Sixth Sense’. It’s intriguing but not near compelling, without flagrant flaw but also devoid of a point of revelation.

The most intriguing moment is a turning point in the film that is masterfully directed and sets up the finale.

The finale has a certain charm and the lead actress continues to shine, but this is a pleasant exercise in nostalgia, wistfulness, and innocence. Nicely done, but don’t expect anything more than that…there’s nothing “thrilling” about it.

Grade: C

The Colony (2013)

Setting: Post-apocalypse (frozen world)

Type: Zombie/infected/etc flick

MUCH better Bill Paxton movie available on NF streaming: ‘A Simple Plan’

Reason for review: See “Type”

As if it wasn’t bad enough, at the end it gets completely LaVeyan. What I go through…

Inspirational Quote: “No! No more runnin'” (guy who hasn’t run)

Inspirational Quote that could have been, near the end: “Game over, man!”

Grade: D-

Donnie Brasco (1997)

More evidence that scumbags are scumbags, on either side of the law. Most of the gangsters seem like selfish pricks, and so do most of the cops.

Pacino (“Lefty”) and Depp (Brasco) do some pretty good acting – I don’t think either is capable of doing otherwise – and each plays a character with at least a little bit of honor and loyalty; sorely lacking in most of the rest.

The fact that they’re on the opposite side of the law makes the interaction intriguing: Brasco’s loyalty to his job has a genuine conflict with his loyalty to Lefty, whom he considers a friend (and vice versa).

They’re really the only two characters I give a d@mn about, because they’re the only characters that seem genuine and not just generic mob movie sh1t.

Depp in particular is interesting; both his conflict with Pacino and the other mob characters and the conflict within himself about what’s right and what’s wrong.

Gets better as it gets more complex: you wonder where the tangled web is eventually going to lead.

It’s a little slow at times, and it never reaches the heights I want it to, but not once do I feel the urge to turn it off. And it’s 126 minutes.

Inspirational Quote: “I’m not becoming like them Maggie, I am them.”

Grade: B-

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Three

“…Recently, people who are called “clever” adorn themselves with superficial wisdom and only deceive others. For this reason they are inferior to dull-witted folk. A dull-witted person is direct. If one looks deeply into his heart with the above phrase, there will be no hidden places. It is a good examiner. One should be of the mind that, meeting this examiner, he will not be embarrassed…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A somewhat-interesting part of a great movie; showing the true character of one of the characters in a convincing manner.

Housebound (2014)

Intelligent and well made, and though it’s not completely successful as either a horror or a comedy, it does usually come up with a twist to keep it fresh whenever you think it’s about to turn predictable/cliche.

Sometimes it’s creepy, sometimes it’s laid-back, sometimes it’s dark, sometimes it’s darkly amusing, sometimes it’s blatantly gory.

So it’s impressive…but it’s not as enjoyable to watch as most critics seem to think, for me. But I can see why some people might like it more.

As for acting, it’s solid all around, with the mother and daughter being above-solid impressive.

I laughed a few times, and I usually don’t laugh easily.

Some interesting improvised weaponry, too.

I believe there’s a remake in the works, and with a bigger budget and a little bit of script editing it could easily be better. Or, it could lose all its charm. Too close to call.

Inspirational Quote: “…and the rest is a blur. What’d you say?”

Grade: C

The Machinist (2004)

I’m impressed with Christian Bale’s dedication to getting into the right body form for the role, but I’m still not impressed with his typically wooden acting.

Pretty creepy movie, in theme and established tone.

But that’s it…it’s like a bad ‘Twilight Zone’ episode: no hook.

Not one that makes it worth watching at least.

Try ‘Memento’ instead. Similar and superior.

And no Christian Bale.

Grade: D+

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Two

“…In China there was once a man who liked pictures of dragons, and his clothing and furnishings were all designed accordingly. His deep affection for dragons was brought to the attention of the dragon god, and one day a real dragon appeared before his window. It is said that he died of fright. He was probably a man who always spoke big words but acted differently when facing the real thing…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – One of the highlights of the movie and a great example of the above. Also, if you try to get this removed allow me to criticize you: you’re an a$$hole.

Hurricane Of Wills – Unfinished

“Courtesy…”

“Courtesy is not for inferiors.”

“Courtesy is for everyone…”

“Nobody speaks to me that way.”

“That’s another one of your problems!
Nobody’s told you that you’re an uncivilized savage,
a vicious child in a woman’s body,
an arrogant monster…”

*slap*

“That’s no way to treat someone
who’s telling you the truth.”

11/3/16: Edited for form and punctuation and very minorly for content – no change to overriding theme. That’s right, FORM, CONTENT, INTERRELATIONSHIPS…

ABCs Of Death 2 (2014)

The intro combines a lot of Terry Gilliam’s precise animated Python slices with a bit of Peckinpah’s ‘Salad Days’.

And it’s NOT trying to be funny…I don’t think.

The mini-movies after are useless dumb sh1t, with the following exceptions:

C: I don’t like it that much, but at least it has a message.

K: Creepy and surreal. Not bad.

Q: Not too bad…ironic.

R: Nice twist.

U: See C, only better.

A few of the rest are just dull or bad, but some are absolutely WRETCHED…my favorite worst is “Y”, which actually made me laugh: Yet another brilliant installment of first-class Asian Horror.

And like the first movie, sh1tloads of credits.

Actual length: Around 1:50.

Grade: D-

Black Mirror – Episode 7 (White Christmas)

At Christmas time, two relative strangers (chatty-guy and quiet-guy) sit down in a deserted cabin and share stories. It flashes back regularly to these two as the stories go on, as they explain the backstory of each story and interact a little.

Story One:

Dating coach of the future (chatty-guy) can help in real-time…making dating apparently far more successful and far less real – but the thought-provocation THERE is: if it WORKS, and it gets two people together who REALLY DO CLICK beyond just sex…is it worse to be fake to get something real, or be real to stay alone?

Said question is made slightly more complicated by the twist.

A good one, which slowly morphs into…

Story Two/Story Three:

Brief tale of a woman trapped as a “cookie” version of herself and subject to the whims of chatty-guy. This goes nowhere fast and stays there for a boring while, until a transition to…

Quiet-guy as he used to be: apparently happy and MUCH different, with a woman he seems to love.

The happy relationship turns very much for the worse when the woman discovers she’s pregnant, and after a big argument she “blocks” him from her life (a real-life adaptation of the FB thing).

After a while there’s the twist, and then the focus goes squarely back to the two men.

Decent twists to end it all.

Overall: The setup through story one are first-rate, just a notch below episode two. The rest is second-rate, somewhat interesting but still at the bottom of the barrel for these.

Please, let it be re-inspired, or let it end.

Black Mirror – Episode 6 (The Waldo Moment)

Seemed mediocre, stupid in parts, even quasi-copied from episode 2 (the speech: badly) at first.

But then it got somewhat interesting. Hang in there, you just might like it, even though the buildup is a lot of tedium.

I like the brief moment of humanity displayed near the end.

I also appreciate the way the show avoids slipping into maudlin sentimentality, instead displaying its statement stubbornly as-is: a “reality” established in the plot outside the realm of right and wrong, what should or should not be.

Black Mirror – Episode 5 (White Bear)

Your initial guesses, whatever they may be, are probably wrong.

Following the plot I made my own guesses, including one as to the nature of the message. These were challenged by the plot twist, although there remains a certain connection between what I guessed (and what most people will guess) and what actually is happening.

The problem, to me, is that neither during part one (“The Episode”) nor during part two (“The Twist”) was I particularly impressed with the quality of the writing. To say nothing of part three, which is “The Epilogue” but to me could just as easily be labeled “The TV Time Filler”.

This isn’t BAD…don’t get me wrong. But it’s uninspired, at least as compared to the rest.

It is adequately executed competence, nothing more; ‘Black Mirror’s Contractual Obligation Episode’, at least to me.

Black Mirror – Episode 4 (Be Right Back)

In the not-too-distant future…

Another small-scale tale attempting to send a large-scale message.

But this one resonates much more than the last because the relationship, even though only briefly established, is completely believable.

And because it raises some really difficult questions – what constitutes reality, and to what extent should we allow ourselves to escape into things other than pure reality, no matter how pleasing or comforting it might be to do so? Especially when such escape sacrifices “real” life.

When does indulgent fantasy become a perversion of real moments…moments that are best remembered as the brief but pure things of beauty that they were, and will in memory always remain?

Better than episode 3, but episode 2 looks more and more like this show’s pinnacle.

Black Mirror – Episode 3 (The Entire History Of You)

In the future, people have immediate access to every memory they’ve ever had. So if the mind is indeed one snapshot after another, everyone now gets to see each and every one – none lost in the shuffle, for better or worse.

Choosing NOT to have such a total recall is considered odd (and rare).

Much more small-scale than the previous two. Also pretty predictable (if well done), which is a huge disappointment after episode 2.

But hey, at least it makes you think…a little.

Black Mirror – Episode 2 (Fifteen Million Merits)

THIS is ‘Twilight Zone’-ish, an episode with a twist.

Interesting futuristic (but not TOO far in the future) sci-fi setting/set-up.

Pokes fun at pop culture, mass marketing and zombie-like mass acceptance as opposed to diversity, creativity, and individuality.

Much better than the first, and gets better as it goes along. Great performance by the lead.

Beyond “interesting”…compelling.

Well done.

Inspirational Quote: “I’m an entertainer.”

Black Mirror – Episode 1 (The National Anthem)

A mini-mystery/thriller/character study/statement on the times.

Nothing at all like ‘The Twilight Zone’, as I was led to believe, but certainly interesting enough to watch (and to watch further episodes).

Not for the faint of heart, but more restrained than it could have been (translation: not in bad taste purely for sensationalist ratings purposes).

eXistenZ (1999)

Very, very weird.

It’s about a game within a game within…

Quite complicated. I don’t think it’s nearly as gripping as it is impressive/interesting; it does not envelop and engross as much as such a movie should.

However if you’re a fan of virtual reality, odd sci-fi, and/or cerebral sci-fi it’s something you need to see for yourself to decide.

Inspirational Quote: “Death to the Demon…”

Grade: C

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: C+

From Star Trek II

“We are assembled here today to pay final respects to our honored dead. And yet it should be noted that in the midst of our sorrow, this death takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new world; a world that our beloved comrade gave his life to protect and nourish. He did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty one, and we will not debate his profound wisdom at these proceedings. Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most… human.”

RoboCop (2014)

Extremely unnecessary reboot, since the original was very-good-to-great.

Vastly inferior reworking with impressive action/FX/visuals, some (and I stress SOME) decent acting, and very little plot.

Gary Oldman (surprisingly) plays a relatively good guy, and he does it well. Keaton’s meh as sleazy-corporate-guy. And the Samuel L. Jackson bits kinda suck. I mean, he adds cheeze – especially at the end – just like he does to ‘The Great White Hype’ (NF Streaming, where the Hell is it??!!), but this doesn’t WANT cheeze.

Great use of one of the best songs ever to feature yodeling, though.

Inspirational Quote: “It’s the illusion…of free will.”

Grade: D

Leaving Las Vegas (1995)

Two very damaged people find comfort with each other.

One of them is an actress who acts fairly convincingly.

The other is Nic Cage.

That’s why this is a failure.

If there is any message, it’s this: If your life is horrid and you feel there’s nothing to live for, find a hooker with a heart of gold and be honest with her. She’ll fall in love with you and be your saviour. Unless, of course, you don’t want one.

With the exception of that last sentence…didn’t that sort of cliche go out a long time ago?

Just say no to nihilism.

On Netflix Streaming until 3/1/15.

Grade: D-

Mulberry Street (2006)

An infection carried by rats slowly spreads, turning a portion of New York City into a mini-warzone, with the focus on two buildings.

People actually mutate into sort of rat-type things, which takes away from the horror factor and adds a cheeze factor.

Basically it’s Rage with some rat added…unfortunately. Rather a lot of rat, really.

Also lots of: heat, sweat, ironic happy music and claustrophobia.

Best during the buildup; drops off when it should kick into high gear.

Acting = decent

Cult following = undeserved

Well directed, but come on…it’s just not that good.

On Netflix Streaming until 3/1/15

Grade: D+