Antisocial (2013)

It was going along ok until the laughable “social media” intros.

Made me think it was REALLY gonna suck, but since the plot sounded ‘Crazies’-ish, I figured I’d give it a bit longer…

So basically a small group of college students have to fend off badly fx’d infected – so they attempt to pull a NotLD boardup job almost immediately.

Luckily it’s unanimous…no Joe named Cooper.

But it’s second-rate all the way: acting, script, and FX.

Slow and painful, actually.

Grade: F

Crocodile Dundee (1986)

I remember really liking this movie when it came out. I also SEEM to remember that it wasn’t a like-because-I’m-12 movie. So it was very cool to see it on NF’s streaming list.

It’s a sincere, charming bit of fluff; sort of like the film version of Men At Work’s “Down Under”.

Made with care, for your enjoyment.

I still like it…nothing special, but it’s cute and fun.

Grade: B-

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

This is not a sympathy watch.

I never really much cared for Robin Williams as a comedian or an actor, but I remember his performance in this movie as being surprisingly good; not for the humor but for the dramatic acting.

Also, I remembered it had a good supporting cast including the great Forest Whitaker.

So, I watched it again when I saw it on “Newly Added”…

And it’s pretty good, at times. But like I remembered, the “funny” Williams bits were boring except for a couple, and there was a LOT of focus on them. Which made it impossible for Whitaker, serious Williams, Bruno Kirby, et al. to make it a good movie. So it’s…decent. A movie that demands a (short) highlight reel.

Grade: C

The Death Of Era Nocturna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0X1ynq1x8M

I can almost imagine D. Noctem thinking along the lines of D. Velvet, who also didn’t get a beautiful death:

“This is…wrong…I’m supposed to have something, more cinematic…”

11/5/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Really good song by a dead band. It actually gets better the more you listen to it; at first it’s secondary to “If Only I Could”, then it’s about as good, then it’s clearly superior. Also, update: signature removed.

Scream 2 (1997)

The intro has great potential but blows it, lacking in imagination and going for a cheap thrill. I mean, come on…even the OBVIOUS obligatory “audience cheers thinking it’s fake” angle escaped the screenwriter.

The theory discussion that follows is more interesting…but serves only to make me not lose interest, not salvage.

Then it goes mediocre…tries to establish lots of “intrigue”, fails –
all the “emotion” seems quite fake. And the action scenes are dumb. Not parody-dumb, just dumb.

The best parts are the ruminations of geeky-guy survivor from part one. But they’re scarce and not nearly enough.

As for other good things…ummm…well, it’s professional. But when the killer(s) is/are revealed I really couldn’t care less.

Huge disappointment.

Grade: D

Panic Room (2002)

Three things made me watch this: A mild hope that it might be
good/interesting, Forest Whitaker, and the fact it was going off NF
streaming soon.

Jared Leto stinks, Whitaker is Whitaker (very good), and the rest are ok.

The movie itself looks real and is professional, but nothing special – the characters don’t elicit emotional involvement even with the best efforts of Whitaker; whose character is the only one that felt real to me.

On Netflix Streaming until 9/1/14.

Grade: C-

Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

First: Time travel. The easiest excuse to make any story happen or unhappen. Also the most glaring loophole, considering that there are inherently endless variations that could occur endlessly for all eternity, nothing ever fully and definitively REAL.

But enough about that sh1t.

This is, in my opinion, the last decent Trek movie.

The regular cast is good, the Borg queen is excellent, James Cromwell is very good, and I really like the Data/Queen interaction.

As far as a weakness, for me it’s Picard’s Borg obsession and the
scenes playing off of that.

And, the MAIN weakness, the movie-long battle scenes that intermittently interrupt and kinda bore after a while.

On Netflix Streaming until 9/1/14.

Inspirational Quote: “I’m a doctor, not a doorstop.”

Grade: C+

World Of The Dead: The Zombie Diaries 2 (2011)

I heard the first one stunk, but it’s not available on NF streaming even though this is. So I settled for this. All zombie movies must be watched…that’s my bread and butter, man.

The main character is a roving camera that makes shooting the film a lot easier.

It’s all generic and goes for shock value – there’s nothing new here.

And it features moments of incredible stupidity, foremost of which is the ages-old “RUN PAST THEM instead of waiting the two minutes it takes for them to shamble into you as you complain about how you can’t get past them you MORONS!!!” complaint.

It’s decently acted and decently funded, but completely redundant.

So, for zombie fanatics only.

Decent ending, though.

On Netflix Streaming until 9/1/14.

Grade: D

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 65)

Inspired by my imminent viewing of a cr@ppy zombie flick, I’ve decided to write the following magnificent piece of festering:

‘The Zombie’s Diary’
By Puppy

Chapter One

aaaahhhhhhhh…

Chapter Two

aaaAAHHH!

Chapter Three

Braiiiiins…

Chapter Four

More brains!

Chapter Five

aaaahhhhhhhh…

Chapter Six

*gunshot*

Chapter Seven

*thud*

End

-Puppy >.< Yip!