Author: Puppy

Really SLOW and boring movie with mediocre acting and a pretty bad script.

Proving once again that hiring one semi-name actor does not guarantee success if that’s the only thing going for the movie.

Yes, “exciting” and “creepy” things happen, but they’re not really; they just try to be.

Stupid ending, too.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/15/14

Grade: F

A decent if somewhat boring documentary about cat de-clawing.

I already knew what the procedure was and I’m decidedly against it, but there were some things that I learned about its effects. If you want to know all about it, you can watch this…or you can just research it online. It’s not particularly exciting, although there are some cute cat pics, so pick your media I guess.

Grade: D

If you can get by the ultra-cringeworthy MST/’Black Eagle’ opening credits/DRAMATIC MUSIC, this is a decent version of the story.

Donald Sutherland and Mr. Spock’s is better, though.

I like the lead, and it’s different enough to make it worth watching if you saw (and liked) that (later) one. If you didn’t like it, you probably won’t like this.

If you can’t enjoy something that’s a LITTLE cheezy and dated, whatever the subject/ideas/acting/script, you won’t like this either.

Grade: C

8/21/14: Upped a notch for extra-creepy, despite limitations. Grade: C+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. I care enough to compare with the original for a few seconds. It’s better. Grade: B-

Seems decent and weird from the start. A drama around a somewhat horrific brief series of events more than a true horror film.

The “monster”‘s appearance on the scene is certainly interesting, and makes me think this may be in the vein of ‘Jenifer’.

Brief feelings of ‘Lo’, ‘The Devil’s Rock’, and ‘Hellboy’ surface as well…but this isn’t as good as any of those. The acting is pretty good and it seems authentic enough to be creepy and interesting at first, but once the intro is done it just sort of meanders the rest of the way.

Too much mood and too little story; not enough actually happens as you wait expectantly for it to.

Effects, once they arise, are below par.

Interesting, though, if disappointing after the setup.  Perhaps I’m overrating it slightly for reminders of so many better movies.

Grade: C-

Parts are kinda cute, a couple parts are amusing, and the message is great.

But again, noone who didn’t give a sh1t before will give a sh1t after watching this. And too often it’s just dull and boring.

And I hate the songs.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/7/14.

Grade: D

It’s like One Brother Pizza, only with human compost.

It’s macabre and dark from the start, which goes quickly from cutesy song enjoyment to rather damaging corpse retrieval.

Stays pretty much “dark humor” until about 25 minutes in. BUT – and this is the point – it doesn’t throw that away when it gets gruesome (and it does get gruesome).

It’s got the usual “two psychos” problem: one of them just isn’t as psycho as the other.

Actually gets really clever/funny at one point where the poor sweetheart psycho gets offended by the horrible kidnapped vixen.

And there’s a touching conversation between tied-up girl and her tied-up-upside-down gagged boyfriend that explores some serious issues and has some really positive revelations.

Rather unique tug-of-war with an adorable doggie near the end; but then it pretty much runs out of steam/ideas.

Overall this is a pretty good watch for fans of ‘Tucker & Dale’ and the like.

Inspirational Quote: “All you want…is sex, and drugs, and a good time – it’s not right!”

Grade: C+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: B-

Starts out fairly well with an oblivious couple as people panic around them, sort of ‘Shaun Of The Dead’-ish. The acting seems pretty decent, too…and for some reason I buy them as a couple pretty quickly.

At first the infection is just annoying to them, but things get slowly more tense, in a way that seems believable.

Then the couple’s neighbor, who happens to be a major survivalist and weirdo, takes an interest in the man for some reason and tries to “mentor” him.

The first really bad thing to happen comes as a BIT of a surprise.

It gets pretty dull after that…and stays at dull until near the end when the writer, apparently unable to think of a decent ending, inserts really dumb lines into the script that take the characters OUT OF character and introduce an ending conflict that makes no sense.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/2/14.

Grade: D-

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: D

Well…it’s better than ‘Taxi Driver’.

DeNiro’s performance is pretty good, especially as the later LaMotta in the intro and near the end.

Joe Pesci is pretty good as brother Joey, too. I like the walking scene with Pesci talking nicely with Batts – hahaha…funny. You know, just funny, it’s a funny scene…

The problem is the characters themselves and the script are, for most of the movie, either really fcken annoying or really boring.

Lotsa yelling and swearing in the beginning, not much else IMPO.

Then some really dull courting-the-blonde scenes:

LaMotta’s approach: “Hey. Hey. Ya like the car. Wanna go for a ride? Yeah. Hey. My house. Living room. Bedroom. Yeah. Hey, a kiss.”

Really…interesting.

Then there’s more yelling, swearing, bickering…with brief dull interludes.

Hey, what a surprise…Pesci’s character goes psycho and the Batts relationship doesn’t last. You can see that 15 years later (and a lot better) in ‘Goodfellas’.

The politics aspect is somewhat interesting but it takes a long time to get to that, and the last LaMotta/Robinson fight is interesting for the filming as well as for LaMotta’s refusal to go down.

I take back that Scorsese/DeNiro comment I made a long time ago. I prefer Burton/Depp.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/2/14.

Grade: D+

Same-Day Edit: No, it’s not better.  I guess the intimidation factor got to me…I mean, it’s supposed to be a CLASSIC.  But I think it’s pretty d@mn mediocre.  At best.  Grade: D

In a dystopian future where Randian elitists have apparently gained socially accepted control of the system, a person’s genetics are engineered/controlled before their birth to decide with virtual certainty how successful/respected/valued each person will be.

Of course it’s “voluntary” (unlike ‘Brave New World’) and not a guarantee…but it’s still fairly repugnant to me.

The main character is obsessed with joining the space program, and the story centers around his attempts to evade the system’s “safeguards” in order to do so. The part is acted well and his personal story is interesting.

His interactions with his “partner” are interesting as well.

Just when I think it’s getting stale, about to go downhill – it takes a great, moving, emotional upturn. I’m reminded vaguely of ‘The Truman Show”s ending; a monument to dedication, successful or not.

I’m also reminded (vaguely) of ‘Requiem For A Dream’ – only unlike ‘Requiem’, this collection of moments is positive…with a scene near the end that features Nightswimming that is beautiful, a starry night sky, and fade.

I actually smiled as the voiceover ended the movie.

I couldn’t help it.

Perhaps…PROBABLY…a very low B+. But I needed something both uplifting and real, and this is the first such surprise I’ve had in a long time.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/1/14.

Inspirational Quote: “This is how I did it, Anton: I never saved anything for the swim back.”

Grade: B+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. F you, ‘Pulp Fiction’. How many movies has Quentin Tarantino caused to be infected by Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta, or (as in this case) Uma freakin’ Thurman? Too many. What a drag. But it’s still moving/beautiful at times. Grade: B

Dumb intro and a lot of really bad jokes.

Even worse than I remembered it, and I first saw it when I was 12 or 13. Even then I could tell it was sophomoric.

There’s a few…or a couple…good jokes, but mostly it’s tedious and stupid.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/1/14.

Inspirational Quote: “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal!”

Grade: D-