Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977)

To make it quick, this was written by Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker. They went on to write ‘Airplane!’, among others.

But this is minor-league baseball – where even the best stars first need to work out the kinks and learn the ropes.

Sometimes painfully.

So unless you really (REALLY) can’t get enough of ZAZ, stick with something else.

Grade: D-

The Metamorphosis (2012 Audiobook)

1915 story by Franz Kafka.

Incredibly creepy, right from the start.

From there, it just seems – from the main character’s reaction/narration – that it will be the same boring story of a traveling salesman with little attention paid to the fact that things have changed JUST A BIT as he’s now a huge insect. I mean…that would make selling a bit difficult, wouldn’t you think?

Fairly quickly, though, things seem to change…but very slowly in terms of how the narrator views things and thus describes things. Like a brain that is slowly turning from human to insect. I didn’t expect that, actually, and it’s an object of curious interest. CREEPY interest.

Everything just slowly and inevitably starts to collapse. Depressing.

Depressing because it is seemingly completely without reason; someone destroyed in an instant for no good reason, doomed to simply die slowly.

Inspirational Quote: “…simply have to overcome a slight indisposition for business reasons.”

IQ2: “It’s not fair it’s not FAIR!”

Grade: B

The Human League

Greatest Hits (1988)

You can’t get much more meaningless than this. So “Human” is kinda funny, kinda nostalgic, and stupid.

Mechanical (hooks) World. Almost all aren’t hooky enough to warrant listening to the guy’s voice/meaningless lyrics.

Good for when you want to feel substantial, no matter how insubstantial you are.

For best results, instead of listening to 1-16 once each, listen to 1 sixteen times.
(“Don’t You Want Me”)

Grade: D

From Beyond (Michael Granberry Stop Motion Animated Short Film, 2006)

This is definitely the best of the three ‘From Beyond”s that I have partaken fully of.

The other video is interesting but crude and quite flawed. The audiobook is good, but it’s much better with pictures.

I like the animation, which may not be perfect but to me seems to capture the spirit of Lovecraft’s weirdness…the oddness of his otherworldly beings.

I like the voice acting very much. Good sound effects, too.

And I gotta say I love the ending: A bonus that makes it even better, an original addition in the spirit of Lovecraft.

Inspirational Quote: “Yes, my friend, these are the quivering monstrosities that float and flop about you every moment of your life…”

Grade: A-

From Beyond (Dangerous Puppets Stop Motion Animation Short Film, 2015)

Very odd and unusual as well as…Creepy. “Rough”…weird and not for everyone, but I get a certain enjoyment from it.

It’s a nice little variation in a rare form. Guilty pleasure maybe, but so what :P

Inspirational Quote: “I want to showwwwwww you something.”

Grade: C+

From Beyond (HorrorBabble Audiobook, from ‘Three Weeks Of Weird’ compilation, 2017)

H.P. Lovecraft short story…one of his best, I think. Audiobook version. At just under 20 minutes, it’s certainly worth listening to (as well as watching, but those are two other posts). Each ‘From Beyond’ entry is worthy of your attention.
Good all the way through, and about as close as Lovecraft comes to a happy ending.

Grade: B

The King In Yellow (1895): The Complete Collection (Horrorbabble Audiobook, 2017)

Do you like pretension and open-to-any-interpretation? You’ll love this. No? It is then worthless to you.

Fine, the first four “Volumes” have some connections. Enough to maintain interest. But interest based on hope for something MORE, hope that these building blocks will pay off later. But they don’t. They are just LEFT THERE, as the author moves on to confusing insane writing *WITHOUT* connections.

I would try the first four, just to be sure, but trust me on the next six.

When I consider the year that this was published, it makes a LOT more sense. I mean, very few people probably had a then-current chance to read the work, so I imagine it encouraged clever people to gather together in groups with their majestic rare book and dwell on how all the common schmos had no idea this even existed…a shared, rare secret. But it’s not rare anymore. Anyone that wants to know whether they are sufficiently stoned or not could probably determine that by listening to a bit of this. If it sounded brilliant, “It all makes sense to me now!!!”, then you’re plenty stoned. Or plenty high. *riff riff*

If you have interest in this sort of thing, if you have interest in weirdness, if you have interest in H.P. Lovecraft, if you have interest in weird a$$ sh1t….if you WANT to like this, and KNOW it, and what it means, you may very well listen to EVERY line for any hint of anything it might (eventually) give. Oh well, I can’t stop you.

But don’t underestimate this: If you’re of sound mind and don’t wanna get a little freaked or laugh in wondrous surprise, it’s not for you.

Don’t let anyone tell you there’s anything brilliant to be discovered here, because there’s nothing brilliant being *SAID* here.

It’s brilliant nonsense rambling, and if you discover a meaning for yourself, it’s completely by accident…..you’ll try, of course, that’s only natural. Those that like trying and thinking odd, unbidden images will keep on with it, those that do not will stop pretty d@mn quickly.

I have no idea and don’t care enough to look into it, but does this have ANYTHING to do with King Crimson, the obviously much-later-on prog-rock band?

H.P. Lovecraft supposedly read this (and *LIKED* it, yet!), thus justifying its existence.

“Volume One”: A great moment in the history of insane first-person “narration”…At this point, without reading further, it seems as if the entire volume is meant to be a story written by a lunatic, and while it seems pretty insane, I was expecting (hoping?) for something a bit more “important”. A bit of mythos, in the vein of Cthulhu, to get really weird freaky things going.

“Volume Two”: Less varied and weird (less, still very)…not as “good”(?) as one but don’t even *THINK* about skipping chapters, this is a WORK, of art or cr@p or insanity, in any case a work, and it won’t do to pick-and-choose. A beautiful woman is at the center of this buried amidst the now-usual borderline-insane ramblings that go here, there, and/or everywhere.

“Volume Three”: Interesting musical ramblings and/or musings…(more) impressive insane ramblings.

“Volume Four”: Official ‘King In Yellow’ chapter of the Boston Red Sox! Vague reminders of 3 on occasion…and a vague resolution to the supposed theme that’s not any more or less meaningful as any independent ramblings thus far.

“Volume Five”: The origin of the fabled snipe? Love, birds, endless vistas, other weirda$$ sh1t…adding intermittent French has no effect whatsoever. I mean, you know it doesn’t mean anything more than the rest of the nonsense here. Sounds nicer, though…French is such a pretty language.

“Volume Six”: Repetition and sub-sub-titles…I was very thankful when I realized it was short.

“Volume Seven”: Puss? or Puss?…meh or calming, or both. I don’t remember, already.

“Volume Eight”: Oh God this is starting to make my brain bleed. War is – confusing and boring?

“Volume Nine”: Mocks itself at least once, very welcome and normal…French, American, (ew!) Latin…oh Dear God this whole thing is the worst audiobook I’ve ever listened to. Allow me to quote a hero of mine on something completely different: “For a long time I thought this was the worst rock band in history simply because it was the most pretentious, but sometimes pretensions are (at least partially) earned.”…painting tends to be a somewhat common mention…fish FISH a FISHY requisite t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t…”an ecstasy of trill”, now *that* is a cool description – finally. Crossdressing. A miracle. Lots of Rue…faster, faster…

“Volume Ten”: “Crimson, nor yellow…” Is this more evidence that King Crimson took this cr@p and tried to make it sane? Or did they try to keep it insane and go full-on pretense? Or is there no connection? Or who cares?…art teacher…longggggg smile…intermittent French as it builds to a CLIMAX. (No, not really…)…multitudinous love…greater than normal attention, hoping for and waiting for (but not expecting) an actual, meaningful ending that somehow sums things up in some small way at least. NOPE.

Inspirational Quote: “What?? What about the chicken?”

IQ2: “…(passages) that made (‘The King In Yellow’) such an admirable (audiobook) to fall asleep to.” – A Hero

Grade: C- (Upped three notches for inspiring talented writers)

The Outsider (2017)

H.P. Lovecraft short story on YouTube, illustrations by Tanabe Gou, voice by Jaemi Samples, montage by msa_21

A version made IMPO more interesting by the “gender” being female.

The creepiness is pretty predictable, at least it was for me, but it’s an enjoyable watch with just enough suspense to keep you tuned to confirm 100 percent that it was what you thought it was.

For Lovecraft, this is light.

Grade: B-

8/12/23: For Lovecraft, this is simplistic.

But that’s more an allusion to the extreme NON-simple-ness (I like making up words to suit my purposes) of almost everything else he wrote. It’s not simplistic in a vacuum or any other piece of household machinery. You may guess the hook early on (then again you may not), but he doesn’t just take that as may be and write filler around it. There’s a lot of description and thought that goes on. So, I think it’s…good.

Grade: B

First Time Watching – Overview

Are you bored and lonely? Looking to watch a movie with someone but also by yourself?

This is a category on Youtube where you can do pretty much that.

The quality varies wildly of course, and you’ll have to go through a lot of different “fellow watchers” before you find a Fav.

It can be enjoyable. Just remember – it’s cool to “watch with someone” at times, and in this case you can stop any time you want, and not have to interact in any way. So it’s good for semi-loners and/or really shy and/or depressed and/or socially awkward people.

BUT…they’re not really your “friends”. So avoid unhealthy obsessions. And keep your money in your pockets.

Word that will sear itself into your brain before too long: “Content”.

– Puppy

Linda Ronstadt

Greatest Hits, Vol. 1 & 2 (2007)

Buying individual “albums” of hers is a waste of money.

Everything you need is here, not that there aren’t other nice/pleasant songs out there, but the appeal is so similar that it’s just not worth it.

Lots of nice, pleasant melodies sung by a really, really good and impressive voice. And the fact that she was pretty gorgeous doesn’t hurt the enjoyment.

So basically just get it started, and don’t worry about being too distracted. You’ll get a nice, pleasant feeling that won’t interfere with anything important you actually have to do. Because there’s nothing “important” here.

Once in a while a song sticks out and is a bit more enjoyable than usual, and there’s nothing embarrassing here, which is nice.

Then again, I’m so hopelessly out of date that this should be taken mainly as nostalgia.
(“Long, Long Time”, “You’re No Good”, “Hurt So Bad”)

Grade: B

Pupdate – 7/27/23

I’m back. As you can tell, I’m super excited. I will of course be adding more content. If you somehow stumbled here and read this, great. Have a look around if you like. Or don’t, I don’t care. It’s really for me. A nice permanent recording. If you like what you see and want to support this website and help me add even more quality content, then…well, don’t do anything, I’m not linked up to any support sites. “But seriously, folks”, if you came here on occasion and if you left a cute little sweet little lovey-dovey comment every now and again (like now…and again), I would actually genuinely appreciate it. You may love me, you may hate me, but I hope you at least find me mildly interesting…with an idol like The Dean Of American Rock Critics, Robert Christgau, this makes a lot of sense. Except that he’s extremely interesting.

– Puppy

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 237)

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – This is a troubling movie.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – This is also a troubling movie.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Just, you know, if you find something in music or movies, or in life, that is positive, by all means share it as appropriate with the rest of the world. It helps to express feelings in a non-destructive manner sometimes. No-one is perfect. If you expect, be sure to give.

We all need that harmless release. Believe me, it can help. Sometimes not *shrug* but so what, “at least you tried.”

No Opinion On Lentil Puppy Call Letters

A as in at the same token
B as in ‘The Black Eagle’, the second-best movie ever made…by humans.
C as in “A dreamer of pictures, I run in the night; you see us together, chasing the moonlight…”
D as in “…doorway that I run through in the night.”
E as in Eye SEE
F as in Forklift
G as in Good-Time Charlie
H as in Hamm’s Delicatessen
I as in “I’ve got blisters on my fingers!”
J as in Japo-Scandinavian eal.
K as in 19
L as in Lion-taming hat
M as in Morbid desire to face the end of the world.
N as in “Not The Carpenters too…”
O as in “Our official response will be arriving shortly via the North Pole.”
P as in “Private Joker’s silly and he’s ignorant but he’s got guts, and guts is enough.”
Q as in T
R as in R’lyeh
S as in Snausages
T as in Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea
U as in DOS basics.
V as in Vicious gangs of “Keep Left” signs
W as in “Watch out for snakes.”
X as in Scape
Y as in “You swim like lions through the crest and bathe yourself in zebra flesh.”
Z as in Grade

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 234)

“…these dreamsongs are nightmares of a world in flames, the kind you remember in all their scary inconsistency because you woke up sweating in the middle.” – Robert Christgau

With R.C., sometimes the review is more enjoyable and more fun to OCD to than the actual song/track/record/cassette/cd/mp3/beyond-my-comprehension.

In this case, I think “screaming” would be more appropriate, more image-inducing, more interesting. But he’s the best. Was, at least.

I am more and more uncomfortable with my failing relevance to things after “In my day…”

So out of touch that there’s really no point in trying to get current…impossibility takes a lot of pressure off.

So, next generation, you go out there and kick some a$$, metaphorically speaking.

Catch (2017)

IMPORTANT: I am not suggesting anything by posting this. I just like feeling.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A short film on YouTube. Pure love on a tiny island surrounded on all sides by darkness and apathy and loneliness. And reality.

Plucked quote for coolness: “The course of action I’d suggest, is…a course of action I can’t suggest.”
Plucked quote for coolness Part 2: “I have seen much of the rest of the world…it is brutal, and cruel, and dark.”
Plucked quote for resonance: “…sometimes that’s good. Sometimes it’s not so good. Sometimes he hurts me and seems to like it.”

Occidental Puppy Call Letters

A as in A$$ Pennies
B as in BCorruption
C as in Cellar
D as in Door
E as in “The explosion was tremendous, lighting up the night like the wrath of God, and it rained fire twenty blocks away.”
F as in Fancy that
G as in The guy who brings the money
H as in Preparation
I as in “It’s A Good Life”
J as in “Just like an angel, your skin makes me cry…”
K as in Kicking and screaming
L as in Lady fingers
M as in “Mommy, I don’t wanna be in daddy’s movie anymore!”
N as in “Well, the television says that’s the right thing to do…”
O as in I’m getting pretty lazy about these.
P as in “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”
Q as in I mean, really…
R as in Returning videotapes
S as in “So careful, when I’m in your arms…”
T as in “Thank you, Centron.”
U as in ray
V as in ray
W as in well-maintained frontage
X as in Oh God not you again.
Y as in “You’re stuck here!”
Z as in Ummm…let’s go with x2 Zebra Flesh. Or whatever. Or who cares?

Saving Private Ryan – The Unlikely Hero

Favorite underdog character from ‘Saving Private Ryan’ – Mellish.

SPOILER:

Near the ending…I can’t even watch it anymore, sometimes. One of his scenes.

Even from the beginning, you can tell he’s not well-respected. And he’s very scared.

*Soldiers hit the deck near the Captain, who asks who made it*

Mellish is ignored completely even being RIGHT THERE, and then right after that, Mellish announces himself, going pretty well unnoticed.

Why did Spielberg make a Jewish character? Don’t really know. But I do know that, while being OBVIOUSLY the most scared and overwhelmed (well, except for Oppem(?) he never leaves his fellows.

Of course you like Ryan, that’s a given. Hanks is really good. LOTS of really good.

But the best that wouldn’t get a single vote is Mellish, unless you consider gum-sharing or as a third dog tag counter.

His taunting of captured Nazis is very amusing…probably the first time some of them saw a Jew and COULDN’T kill them “just cuz”.

*Captain runs off a list of men to his Sergeant for a mission, is told one of them is dead*
*Captain seems briefly and mildly annoyed at this* “Alright, Mellish then…”

You might say, he was weak…or you could say he’s a decent man trying his best to force himself forward.

Stephen King, Please Stop Writing

I’ve put my trust in your name (due to admittedly very good past results) a couple times, and ended up with a couple really sh1tty books.

So, that was that…besides, you’re obsolete.

“Cane’s work scares me.”
“What’s to be scared about? It’s not like it’s “real” or anything.”
“Well, it’s not real from your point of view, and right now reality shares your point of view. What scares me about Cane’s work is what would happen if reality shared his point of view.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, we’re not talking about reality here, we’re talking about fiction, it’s different.”
“A reality is just what we tell each other it is: sane and insane could easily switch places if the insane were to become the majority…you would find yourself locked in a padded cell wondering what happened to the world.”
“Well it wouldn’t happen to me.”
“It would if you realized everything you ever knew was gone…it’d be pretty lonely being the last one left.” – ITMOM

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Part three in the “Apocalypse Trilogy”, starting with ‘The Thing’, continuing horribly with ‘Prince Of (Flatulence)’, and then, thank God’s Green Flat Earth for ‘In The Mouth Of Madness’.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 229)

Don’t play it down, play it up. Better to be too careful.

I really don’t give a fck about watching Florida, New York, and Seabiscuit trying to win.

Put everything of little or no importance on hold…keeping the necessary of course, but nothing beyond that.

Put all available resources into the problem, solve the problem (however long it takes, will be LESS than how long it would take NOW), and then slowly ease back into pre-pandemic policies. Make the necessary adjustments/repairs.

“Never Give In” (or something very similar): Worked great in WWII, worked great in ‘Galaxy Quest’, and so on.

If you can’t do anything to help (and that’s not a failing at all, given circumstances) then at least remain Neutral.

It’s kind of disgusting to have to say, but unless you’re starving please don’t go around stealing others’ food.

Don’t go around doing petty sh1t under the cover of “social distancing” or (as I JOKINGLY put it a WHILE ago) to take advantage of the chaos, the fear, all the other emotions and circumstances that abound, in order to steal a pack of Twinkies. Show a little basic fcken morality.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Good scene from a pretty poor movie. I used to like it, but oh well, at least it was quote-worthy.

Superior Re-View, Aged To Perfection

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Brilliant how Kubrick can make one slightly-off, portentously creepy piano keystroke (not here) have the same scare value as one of the least-recommended elevators (here). Brilliant how I can come up with a blend of sources and make an incredibly minor influenced work.

I think I genuinely don’t know sometimes now, when my posts/comments are clever or just dumb and difficult to comprehend.

But, all right…I’ll give you some blood.

Incidental Puppy Call Letters

A as in Almost human, but I’ll never be the same…
B as in Beware of Puppy
C as in Cookbook
D as in Dogs Playing Blackjack
E as in Eyebrow tears
F as in Fobody’s Nault
G as in Grue
H as in Human beans
I as in I would have liked to have smelled Montana…
J as in Weigh Station: Lightweight
K as in Knocking blocks off
L as in Lark’s vomit
M as in MUCH better than ‘Cats’
N as in Not kneeing you in the groin is a constant struggle
O as in A vicious cycle
P as in Plenty of lip-and-tongue action
Q as in Slightly malformed O
R as in Rejected
S as in Spiny Norman
T as in Tower Of Iron Will
U as in F
V as in Vulcans never bluff
W as in Wake Up And Smile
X as in X=Con
Y as in Your words have no meaning here
Z as in These are getting harder and harder to do

Let’s Get These Out Of The Way, They’re Nearly Done

ECT, ECT, ECT…
Final prep: Cool breeze for your veins
And the softly-spoken words that send you gently away from what’s to come.

“It’s in those eyes of yours, though” (‘Seven’)
It’s the look in their eyes, Oh God so rare, looking down in bed, meeting their gaze, and seeing wonder, fascination…God I miss that.

LLC

‘Snuff 2: The Resurrection’

“Someone on staff will get you your well deserved virus…”

“Yeah, I know, we have no feelings…no compassion…no empathy for our client’s suffering. Can I say something? What does that have to do with anything? In fact, the lawyer who shares his client’s pain – in my opinion – does his client such a grave disservice, he should have his license to practice law taken away. It clouds his judgement. And that’s as beneficial to his client as a doctor that recoils at the sight of blood.”

A library (an often majestic, beautiful structure with aspects of timelessness) is now, in this grand age, simply a very, very large backup drive. So since we don’t even need those books anymore (everything’s online, right?) would it really be THAT outrageous to suggest that book burnings are better than books sitting on their shelves, because hey, at least on fire they provide a little heat for homeless people.

Supersonic: A creeping riff falling off a cliff. Poor thing.