Author: Puppy

The original “Doomsday Machine”…Kubrick edging out Trek by a few years!

I don’t think this is great as either humor or drama.

Pretty good (and brave) satire, though, especially given the date of release.

It’s another one of those movies that I’d LOVE to love.

I do find it interesting and fairly clever. And I chuckled a few times as well. I even laughed once, actually.

One of the chuckles: Emergency-Issue ‘Holy Bible & Russian Phrases’.

My main draw is Sellers’ gradual meltdown as Dr. Strangelove.

Inspirational Quote: “The whole point of the doomsday machine…is LOST if you keep it a SECRET!”

On Netflix Streaming until 7/1/14.

Grade: C+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: B-

Much better in music form.

Full of methane and unsuitable for miners.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/1/14.

Grade: F

Wow. What a disappointment.

Here’s the good part: DeNiro and Foster act well.

Aside from that, it’s FCKEN ANNOYING horns and buildup for an hour and a half, then some fcked up sh1t happens, then a boring ending.

When DeNiro first appears with a mohawk, I dont find it scary, it find it…weird and a little silly.

Vastly overrated.

On Netflix Streaming Until 7/1/14 for the people that care.

Grade: D

Documentary about RotLD.

And ONLY RotLD. In a fairly normal, straightforward fact after fact/interview excerpt after interview excerpt manner.

So if you want all the info you could ever want about the movie, this is for you.

Otherwise it’s a boring waste of time.

I’ll watch the movie again. I’ll never watch this again.

Grade: D

This is three things:
1) A humorous, off-color look at zombies, zombie films, and zombie history.
2) A pretentious examination of same.
3) An informative/surprising presentation of interesting ideas and little bits and pieces I had never seen/read/heard before.

Best when it’s 1 or 3, obviously.  But 2 keeps raising its ugly head throughout, interrupting the amusement/entertainment and occasional thought-provocation with ridiculous nonsensical garbage.

Features a lot of major faces in the history of zombie movies.

There are probably first-sees for almost everyone in this; even rabid zombie fans.  And definitely lots of seen-it-many-times.

So overall it’s a mixed bag, but I’d say it’s worth a watch if you like zombie films of any kind (“serious”, parody, new angle, etc.)

Cool ending, too.

Fav musical bit: Barbra’s song

Inspirational Titles: “When There Are No More Ideas On Earth…The Dead Will Be In EVERYTHING…”

Inspirational Quote: “This is something that’s REAL to them…you know, WRESTLING is real to them.”

Grade: C+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: B-

Some of the attraction/interest is in the direction, which features a lot of quick cuts, alternate shots, and metaphors.

But that would mean next to nothing if the movie itself stunk – if the characters were unbelievable and/or the script was stupid.

Fortunately, neither of those is the case.

The story is basically about loss and (mostly) addiction, and how four different people deal with these things. There’s the mother, her son, his girlfriend, and his best friend. The addictions are mostly drug-based, but one (and the most interesting one, to me, because of the character) is not. There are more than a few scenes that show this clearly as being portrayed as the equivalent of drug addiction, and while they’re not brilliant metaphors, neither are they weak hit-you-over-the-head cliches.

For me, the story of the mother is by far the most compelling. With the son, the girlfriend, and the best friend, you don’t know EXACTLY what’s coming, but you’ve seen this road before (‘Drugstore Cowboy’ for one, parts of ‘Traffic’, etc…). It’s an especially bleak and well-portrayed road in this movie, but to me it lacks the force of the mother’s story.

The mother’s story is also so compelling to me because Ellen Burstyn delivers the best performance of any of the actors, and her character is the only one of the four who truly doesn’t REALLY know that she’s getting into a dangerous spiral until it’s too late…all the others are in touch enough to realize the risks they’re taking, the danger they’re putting themselves in…at least to a certain extent.

In summation, the mother’s story – told as it is visually, acted as it is believably and emotionally – is the draw here. The three others aren’t bad, but none of them can match the power…the disturbing and moving sadness…of hers.

Good (and appropriate) music, too.

Near the end the cuts speed up and take over, and the entire movie takes on a completely hopeless air – musically, visually, and emotionally.

I found myself a bit drained by this, and disturbed…so if you don’t want either of those I wouldn’t recommend watching it. But to me, it was worth it for the very real emotional impact.

Grade: B-

8/29/16: Never never never…throw chips at a driver. Grade: B

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Good, already updated. Grade: B

An action/drama set in Medieval Times, with the emphasis on characters over action.  That is to say, on actionS and dialogue about/between characters instead of “action scenes”.

I had no idea it was going to be set in Medieval Norway, I thought it was going to be modern.  My hopes sank a bit when I realized my mistake, as I feared it would be some overwrought Medieval-esque cr@p or some horribly acted ‘Deathstalker’ fluff-and-cheeze.

I was pleasantly surprised, however, when it turned out to be a decent film.

Basically a bunch of bandits kill a girl’s family and take her hostage,
with the leader (and mother of a littler girl) intending to have
her men rape her to conceive a “little sister” for her daughter.  Her daughter is meant to learn how to be “strong”, but in fact is a naturally decent person (the only one of the group, excepting the
kidnapped) and learns from her mother what NOT to be.

Positives: The relationship between the two young heroines is convincing and sweet, the obviously well-intentioned nature of the film, a decent character the girls run into who tells a story that somewhat explains the mother’s cold nature, mostly interesting and occasionally compelling overall, pretty scenery, and being reminded of ‘Braveheart’ for some reason.

Negatives: A few obvious lapses in the quality of the dialogue and the acting, absurdly horrid bandit watch duty, and breaking my suspension of disbelief near the end when things go beyond “extremely lucky” to “No way in Hell pure fiction – even for a fiction”.

Grade: C

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: C+

A bunch of backwoods lunatics worship a big hole in the ground.

Interesting intro…I like the riff, even if it’s borrowed.  And I like the tone in the beginning – it seems “real” enough, it’s buyable.

But it slowly moves from the initial creepy vibe to a mostly obvious-and-silly vibe.  It becomes a chore to watch before all that long, and not even an angry pit can stave off the tedium.  Sure it’s gross…but it’s dull, tedious, pointless gross.

The pit (or something in it) really has powers, too, made vaguely clear by close camera zooms and fake blood and guts.

The effects are mediocre, and the limited interaction with them is below mediocre…it’s cheezy.

Two closing points, which are both more interesting than the movie and the rest of this review:

1) One of the main hick lunatics sorta looks like a really grungy, hairy Will Ferrell.

2) Executive Producer Lucky McKee, apparently not content to simply make his own bad-to-mediocre horror flicks, here nurtures another mediocre horror filmmaker.

Grade: D-

Extreme audience over-reaction to mediocre material.

A bit better in the second half, but nothing special…a couple of smiles, no laughter.

Grade: D-

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: D

The difference is 6 minutes between this and the rated one, so I figured I’d watch the longer one since there was no way in Hell I was watching both.

The fairly quick introduction of the chaos after a brief, life-is-good opening is pretty disturbing and believable; it builds quickly layer after more unusual layer while Pitt and family are stuck in a traffic jam.

The intro of the infected (they’re ’28 Days Later’ types; the only thing “zombie” about them is how they’re mentioned) is believable, capturing with major help from a big budget the actual chaos of a city suddenly struck by infection/panic, as opposed to just the aftermath.  So it’s got that going for “new” genre ideas, and it’s pretty scary to see how enraged these things are…

The acting is pretty good, i think…teamed up with the budget it makes for a pretty d@mn scary start…20 minutes or so of mostly believable mass chaos; not a dollar wasted if you’re up for that sort of thing.

The tenacity of the infected is terrifying and amazing – watch them do their best lemmings impression as they try to catch a helicopter if you don’t believe me.  They believe they can FLY…they believe they can…so on, so on.

After the shock of the initial huge-scale portrayal, it does sort of calm down a bit…briefly.  And it’s in the calm moments (few though they are) that the movie is weakest: this is best watched as a thriller and a horror flick.  As a drama, it leaves a bit to be desired.

Infected effects are impressive, and the makeup is quite convincing.

The mass massive-wall-climb (and what follows) is impressive, too…probably the signature image of the film.

On a negative note, the infected plane scenario seems UNBELIEVABLY implausible, considering the VERY well established behavior pattern of infected up to that point (you’ll know when you see it, I think).

There are a few interesting defense/offense ideas vs. zombies/infected presented, and a somewhat-original possible solution proposed and attempted near the end.

The ending is a bit disappointing and generic, unfortunately, but if you like thrillers this movie generally delivers.

Recommended strongly to zombie/infected fans, not because it’s GREAT but because it’s better than most of the sh1t you’re used to. How do I know that?  I’ve seen most of the sh1t you’re used to.

Grade: B

A zombie flick/parody featuring a college campus and some alien slugs.

It’s got a gruff cop with some bad lines – I actually like him.

Campy but not often funny.  Still, if you like anything zombie or are a sucker for camp, it has enough moments to be worth a watch.

Inspirational Quote: “Thrill me.”

Grade: D

A decent unknown NF Streaming movie for a change.

It’s about a woman who is mentally imbalanced, trying to live out the somewhat-normal life she has no doubt struggled to build for herself after a horrific childhood and lots of abuse.  It’s obvious from the start that she is at least somewhat odd/troubled, as she just seems out of place wherever she is; even at the bookstore that she owns.

The only connections that evidently mean anything to her are her books, her cats, her a$$hole ex-bf, and (most of all) her childhood friend and foster sister.  Indeed, these are the only “things” she appears truly comfortable with; the sister especially seems to be vital to her tenuous hold on sanity.

Basically this film is a portrayal of her slow descent, further and further away from her somewhat-ordered and somewhat-normal world, and at the same time the nobility and loyalty of the sister, whose dominant initial nature proves to be necessary and a product of caring, not manipulation or self-gratification.

For quite a while, the lead seems like she’s TRYING as hard as she can to be “normal”, despite obviously losing the battle.  So she evokes sympathy, making it that much more painful when she sinks below a certain point; one beyond sympathy.

The flashbacks and obvious signs of her horrid past, too, evoke sympathy for her.  At least for a while.

The overall mood is dark, foreboding, and disturbing: the music is almost always perfect in reflecting these, as is the acting; which is solid, especially by the lead.

Overall a very dark film, from start to finish – even the lighter parts seem surrounded by lurking shadows.  And it gets better…and more creepy…as it goes along, culminating in the high point of
its effect, which comes a little bit before the ending.

The ending is a disappointment, unfortunately…but til then this is a decent, interesting movie.

Available on Netflix Streaming until 6/15/14.

Grade: C+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: B-

Terrible, pretentious artsy/goth flick.

The intro monologue is actually promising…until the first special effect, which is so bad that it both disappoints and amuses.

Not quite down to the depths of ‘Vampegeddon’, but close.  Turns out it’s bad acting, bad effects, and lots and LOTS of monologue.

00:20:Something – That’s the director fleeing the scene.

Available on Netflix Streaming until 6/15/14.

Inspirational Quote: “Jesus Christ, it’s like a made-for-tv movie in here…”

Grade: F

A zombie flick.  Imagine my surprise.

The theme is actually somewhat promising, as is the opening; which gives a small but convincing backstory about the female lead, and why she thinks/feels/acts the way she does during the film.

A zombie epidemic is survived by humanity, partly due to a vaccine that “returns” zombies to a normal human state.  But it has to be taken every day, and supplies run short…with the inevitable
reactions both by those infected, those affected, and those just plain scared of the whole situation.

So it’s an unusual, non-redundant take, I’ll give it that.

But it’s pretty slow after the beginning until near the end.  I keep watching because I have to, and because it seems like it MIGHT get better at any moment…but it never really does til the ending.

Points of interest: believable loyalty/devotion of the female lead, a few moving/disturbing parts, and some bits near the ending.

But Chris Cornell’s unintended review of ‘The Crossing Guard’ is too often applicable here, as it just doesn’t live up to the promise.

Grade: D+

This is an artsy German flick (In English).

Not horror, not thriller, mostly dull.

Basically it’s a bunch of scientists arguing/intriguing over research and discovery.  With a backstory, and stumbling to the ending.

I suppose if you like artsy you might like this – it’s got lots of different cuts, camera angles, points of view, flashbacks, etc…

But if you’re looking for what it seems to advertise itself as, you’ll be disappointed if not bored.

The acting is decent, I admit, especially bald creepy-guy.  But I never feel drawn in at all…I never FEEL for any of the characters.  It seems as cold and clinical as its setting.

The music is annoying and out of place a lot.

There’s one interesting plot point and a few cool/weird visuals, and a whole lot of mediocre tedium.

Grade: D-

Pretty much the same as the first, only not nearly as good.

The difference is more marked in the mediocre second half.

Nothing special, so unless you liked the first a LOT, probably safe to skip it.

Grade: C