Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

Unofficial Puppy Call Letters

A as in A Maid On A Night Out Winding A Grandfather’s Clock With Her Left Hand
B as in Bloody gobs
C as in Clever people, like me, who talk loudly in restaurants
D as in Don’t get cocky, kid.
E as in E. Henry…
F as in Floodlights
G as in God’s Green Flat Earth
H as in How long is it?
I as in I can’t take it anymore!
J as in Jersey Cream Psychiatry
K as in Kumbhakarna bunks with Cthulu
L as in L O S T
M as in Mummy alligator
N as in Kicking and screaming
O as in One-Time Fixation
P as in Puppy Haters Association
Q as in Curly
R as in Riding dead people
S as in Smut picture racket
T as in Thripshaw
U as in Uncaring worm
V as in Verse/Chorus/Verse/Chorus/Solo/Verse/Chorus/Solo/Bad Solo
W as in Watch out for snakes
X as in Two Muscular Guys Touching Fingers
Y as in Y.E.T.A.N.O.T.H.E.R. Pratt
Z as in Zoomies

Official Puppy Call Letters

A as in Anacanapuna…
B as in Bouncy-bouncy!
C as in Cheese knife
D as in Dogs Playing Poker
E as in Ewe
F as in You
G as in Big fence in Chicago
H as in Haikiba!
I as in SEE
J as in Ugly late night talk show host
K as in Kwah Kee Ser Pee Nee Ku
L as in Lives of quiet desperation
M as in Mooooooo…
N as in None of your Goddamn business
O as in Ommmmmmm…
P as in Plucking
Q as in Queen of France
R as in Roads Scholar
S as in Suddenly. Pineapples.
T as in Raymond Luxury Yacht
U as in Ugly late night talk show host
V as in Vat
W as in Wainscoting
X as in I hate thinking up words for X
Y as in You’re an a$$hole
Z as in Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Is this what my inspiration has come to? Oh well.

I know about recency bias, Mr. Hunter.

When did it become a major accomplishment that someone can dunk the ball?
I mean, am I missing something? Or is it just totally absurd?
Any guy from any pickup game in the world can dunk it
It’s worth 2 points. Just the same as a layup or a floater.
It looks POWERFUL, but it’s not.
The best rebounders aren’t the best jumpers, necessarily.
Fcken sad if you ask me.
“What can your client do?”
“Well, he can dunk it and block it.”
“Ummm…and?
“That’s it. Oh, he can grab rebounds when they bounce luckily into his hands.”

Lady Fingers

If any professional sports M.B.N. says any of the following: “treasure chest”, “momentum”, “fate”, “destiny”, “drop mic”, “PERIOD”, “end of discussion”, “guarantee(d)”, know-and-still-used random sh1t logical fallacies, using-because-I-learned-it-yesterday-and-want-to-show-off logical fallacies or anything like them, or if I’m just in a bad mood, I will tear one of your arms off and beat you to death with it.

Nom nom…Hey, Pine, over here. Plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.

“Come to think of it, I feel a bit peckish myself.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get callous to murder. Now where’s the stiff?”

London Bridge

MFL+1

“What is fascinating about the Douglas character, as written and played, is the core of sadness in his soul. Yes, by the time we meet him, he has gone over the edge. But there is no exhilaration in his rampage, no release. He seems weary and confused, and in his actions he unconsciously follows scripts that he may have learned from the movies, or on the news, where other frustrated misfits vent their rage on innocent bystanders.”

In A Bunch

“Intuition is the journey from A to Z without stopping at any other letter along the way. It is knowing without knowing why.”

“Do right by him, he’s a good guy. I wouldn’t be inside if it wasn’t for him.”
“No. No. Long Beach Mike is not your f@cking amigo, man. Long Beach Mike is a f@cking scumbag. He’s selling out his amigos. That’s what kind of a nice guy he f@cking is, alright?”

“Gradually trees became fewer, smaller, and less important. By the time the last fruit-bearing adult palm tree was cut, palms had long since ceased to be of economic significance. That left only smaller and smaller palm saplings to clear each year, along with other bushes and treelets. No one would have noticed the felling of the last small palm.”

“The new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.”

Cloverfield (2008)

One-line review choices:

1) “You gotta be fcken kidding…”
2) Statue-of-Liberty-head-nado.
3) Oh no, there goes Tokyo.

Take your pick.

It’s less than 75 minutes long, unless you like eternal credit scrolls.

There’s a cr@ppy end voiceover bit that was probably included so the movie could bill itself as an hour and a half.

Upped a notch for vague Cthulhu-ness and SPECIAL FX!

Inspirational Quote: “We’ve gotta get out of here…it’s time to leave the electronics store!”

Grade: D-