Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

Pupdate – 7/27/23

I’m back. As you can tell, I’m super excited. I will of course be adding more content. If you somehow stumbled here and read this, great. Have a look around if you like. Or don’t, I don’t care. It’s really for me. A nice permanent recording. If you like what you see and want to support this website and help me add even more quality content, then…well, don’t do anything, I’m not linked up to any support sites. “But seriously, folks”, if you came here on occasion and if you left a cute little sweet little lovey-dovey comment every now and again (like now…and again), I would actually genuinely appreciate it. You may love me, you may hate me, but I hope you at least find me mildly interesting…with an idol like The Dean Of American Rock Critics, Robert Christgau, this makes a lot of sense. Except that he’s extremely interesting.

– Puppy

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 237)

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – This is a troubling movie.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – This is also a troubling movie.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Just, you know, if you find something in music or movies, or in life, that is positive, by all means share it as appropriate with the rest of the world. It helps to express feelings in a non-destructive manner sometimes. No-one is perfect. If you expect, be sure to give.

We all need that harmless release. Believe me, it can help. Sometimes not *shrug* but so what, “at least you tried.”

No Opinion On Lentil Puppy Call Letters

A as in at the same token
B as in ‘The Black Eagle’, the second-best movie ever made…by humans.
C as in “A dreamer of pictures, I run in the night; you see us together, chasing the moonlight…”
D as in “…doorway that I run through in the night.”
E as in Eye SEE
F as in Forklift
G as in Good-Time Charlie
H as in Hamm’s Delicatessen
I as in “I’ve got blisters on my fingers!”
J as in Japo-Scandinavian eal.
K as in 19
L as in Lion-taming hat
M as in Morbid desire to face the end of the world.
N as in “Not The Carpenters too…”
O as in “Our official response will be arriving shortly via the North Pole.”
P as in “Private Joker’s silly and he’s ignorant but he’s got guts, and guts is enough.”
Q as in T
R as in R’lyeh
S as in Snausages
T as in Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea
U as in DOS basics.
V as in Vicious gangs of “Keep Left” signs
W as in “Watch out for snakes.”
X as in Scape
Y as in “You swim like lions through the crest and bathe yourself in zebra flesh.”
Z as in Grade

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 234)

“…these dreamsongs are nightmares of a world in flames, the kind you remember in all their scary inconsistency because you woke up sweating in the middle.” – Robert Christgau

With R.C., sometimes the review is more enjoyable and more fun to OCD to than the actual song/track/record/cassette/cd/mp3/beyond-my-comprehension.

In this case, I think “screaming” would be more appropriate, more image-inducing, more interesting. But he’s the best. Was, at least.

I am more and more uncomfortable with my failing relevance to things after “In my day…”

So out of touch that there’s really no point in trying to get current…impossibility takes a lot of pressure off.

So, next generation, you go out there and kick some a$$, metaphorically speaking.

Catch (2017)

IMPORTANT: I am not suggesting anything by posting this. I just like feeling.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A short film on YouTube. Pure love on a tiny island surrounded on all sides by darkness and apathy and loneliness. And reality.

Plucked quote for coolness: “The course of action I’d suggest, is…a course of action I can’t suggest.”
Plucked quote for coolness Part 2: “I have seen much of the rest of the world…it is brutal, and cruel, and dark.”
Plucked quote for resonance: “…sometimes that’s good. Sometimes it’s not so good. Sometimes he hurts me and seems to like it.”

Occidental Puppy Call Letters

A as in A$$ Pennies
B as in BCorruption
C as in Cellar
D as in Door
E as in “The explosion was tremendous, lighting up the night like the wrath of God, and it rained fire twenty blocks away.”
F as in Fancy that
G as in The guy who brings the money
H as in Preparation
I as in “It’s A Good Life”
J as in “Just like an angel, your skin makes me cry…”
K as in Kicking and screaming
L as in Lady fingers
M as in “Mommy, I don’t wanna be in daddy’s movie anymore!”
N as in “Well, the television says that’s the right thing to do…”
O as in I’m getting pretty lazy about these.
P as in “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”
Q as in I mean, really…
R as in Returning videotapes
S as in “So careful, when I’m in your arms…”
T as in “Thank you, Centron.”
U as in ray
V as in ray
W as in well-maintained frontage
X as in Oh God not you again.
Y as in “You’re stuck here!”
Z as in Ummm…let’s go with x2 Zebra Flesh. Or whatever. Or who cares?

Saving Private Ryan – The Unlikely Hero

Favorite underdog character from ‘Saving Private Ryan’ – Mellish.

SPOILER:

Near the ending…I can’t even watch it anymore, sometimes. One of his scenes.

Even from the beginning, you can tell he’s not well-respected. And he’s very scared.

*Soldiers hit the deck near the Captain, who asks who made it*

Mellish is ignored completely even being RIGHT THERE, and then right after that, Mellish announces himself, going pretty well unnoticed.

Why did Spielberg make a Jewish character? Don’t really know. But I do know that, while being OBVIOUSLY the most scared and overwhelmed (well, except for Oppem(?) he never leaves his fellows.

Of course you like Ryan, that’s a given. Hanks is really good. LOTS of really good.

But the best that wouldn’t get a single vote is Mellish, unless you consider gum-sharing or as a third dog tag counter.

His taunting of captured Nazis is very amusing…probably the first time some of them saw a Jew and COULDN’T kill them “just cuz”.

*Captain runs off a list of men to his Sergeant for a mission, is told one of them is dead*
*Captain seems briefly and mildly annoyed at this* “Alright, Mellish then…”

You might say, he was weak…or you could say he’s a decent man trying his best to force himself forward.

Stephen King, Please Stop Writing

I’ve put my trust in your name (due to admittedly very good past results) a couple times, and ended up with a couple really sh1tty books.

So, that was that…besides, you’re obsolete.

“Cane’s work scares me.”
“What’s to be scared about? It’s not like it’s “real” or anything.”
“Well, it’s not real from your point of view, and right now reality shares your point of view. What scares me about Cane’s work is what would happen if reality shared his point of view.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, we’re not talking about reality here, we’re talking about fiction, it’s different.”
“A reality is just what we tell each other it is: sane and insane could easily switch places if the insane were to become the majority…you would find yourself locked in a padded cell wondering what happened to the world.”
“Well it wouldn’t happen to me.”
“It would if you realized everything you ever knew was gone…it’d be pretty lonely being the last one left.” – ITMOM

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Part three in the “Apocalypse Trilogy”, starting with ‘The Thing’, continuing horribly with ‘Prince Of (Flatulence)’, and then, thank God’s Green Flat Earth for ‘In The Mouth Of Madness’.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 229)

Don’t play it down, play it up. Better to be too careful.

I really don’t give a fck about watching Florida, New York, and Seabiscuit trying to win.

Put everything of little or no importance on hold…keeping the necessary of course, but nothing beyond that.

Put all available resources into the problem, solve the problem (however long it takes, will be LESS than how long it would take NOW), and then slowly ease back into pre-pandemic policies. Make the necessary adjustments/repairs.

“Never Give In” (or something very similar): Worked great in WWII, worked great in ‘Galaxy Quest’, and so on.

If you can’t do anything to help (and that’s not a failing at all, given circumstances) then at least remain Neutral.

It’s kind of disgusting to have to say, but unless you’re starving please don’t go around stealing others’ food.

Don’t go around doing petty sh1t under the cover of “social distancing” or (as I JOKINGLY put it a WHILE ago) to take advantage of the chaos, the fear, all the other emotions and circumstances that abound, in order to steal a pack of Twinkies. Show a little basic fcken morality.

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Good scene from a pretty poor movie. I used to like it, but oh well, at least it was quote-worthy.

Superior Re-View, Aged To Perfection

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Brilliant how Kubrick can make one slightly-off, portentously creepy piano keystroke (not here) have the same scare value as one of the least-recommended elevators (here). Brilliant how I can come up with a blend of sources and make an incredibly minor influenced work.

I think I genuinely don’t know sometimes now, when my posts/comments are clever or just dumb and difficult to comprehend.

But, all right…I’ll give you some blood.

Incidental Puppy Call Letters

A as in Almost human, but I’ll never be the same…
B as in Beware of Puppy
C as in Cookbook
D as in Dogs Playing Blackjack
E as in Eyebrow tears
F as in Fobody’s Nault
G as in Grue
H as in Human beans
I as in I would have liked to have smelled Montana…
J as in Weigh Station: Lightweight
K as in Knocking blocks off
L as in Lark’s vomit
M as in MUCH better than ‘Cats’
N as in Not kneeing you in the groin is a constant struggle
O as in A vicious cycle
P as in Plenty of lip-and-tongue action
Q as in Slightly malformed O
R as in Rejected
S as in Spiny Norman
T as in Tower Of Iron Will
U as in F
V as in Vulcans never bluff
W as in Wake Up And Smile
X as in X=Con
Y as in Your words have no meaning here
Z as in These are getting harder and harder to do

Let’s Get These Out Of The Way, They’re Nearly Done

ECT, ECT, ECT…
Final prep: Cool breeze for your veins
And the softly-spoken words that send you gently away from what’s to come.

“It’s in those eyes of yours, though” (‘Seven’)
It’s the look in their eyes, Oh God so rare, looking down in bed, meeting their gaze, and seeing wonder, fascination…God I miss that.

LLC

‘Snuff 2: The Resurrection’

“Someone on staff will get you your well deserved virus…”

“Yeah, I know, we have no feelings…no compassion…no empathy for our client’s suffering. Can I say something? What does that have to do with anything? In fact, the lawyer who shares his client’s pain – in my opinion – does his client such a grave disservice, he should have his license to practice law taken away. It clouds his judgement. And that’s as beneficial to his client as a doctor that recoils at the sight of blood.”

A library (an often majestic, beautiful structure with aspects of timelessness) is now, in this grand age, simply a very, very large backup drive. So since we don’t even need those books anymore (everything’s online, right?) would it really be THAT outrageous to suggest that book burnings are better than books sitting on their shelves, because hey, at least on fire they provide a little heat for homeless people.

Supersonic: A creeping riff falling off a cliff. Poor thing.

Unofficial Puppy Call Letters

A as in A Maid On A Night Out Winding A Grandfather’s Clock With Her Left Hand
B as in Bloody gobs
C as in Clever people, like me, who talk loudly in restaurants
D as in Don’t get cocky, kid.
E as in E. Henry…
F as in Floodlights
G as in God’s Green Flat Earth
H as in How long is it?
I as in I can’t take it anymore!
J as in Jersey Cream Psychiatry
K as in Kumbhakarna bunks with Cthulu
L as in L O S T
M as in Mummy alligator
N as in Kicking and screaming
O as in One-Time Fixation
P as in Puppy Haters Association
Q as in Curly
R as in Riding dead people
S as in Smut picture racket
T as in Thripshaw
U as in Uncaring worm
V as in Verse/Chorus/Verse/Chorus/Solo/Verse/Chorus/Solo/Bad Solo
W as in Watch out for snakes
X as in Two Muscular Guys Touching Fingers
Y as in Y.E.T.A.N.O.T.H.E.R. Pratt
Z as in Zoomies

Official Puppy Call Letters

A as in Anacanapuna…
B as in Bouncy-bouncy!
C as in Cheese knife
D as in Dogs Playing Poker
E as in Ewe
F as in You
G as in Big fence in Chicago
H as in Haikiba!
I as in SEE
J as in Ugly late night talk show host
K as in Kwah Kee Ser Pee Nee Ku
L as in Lives of quiet desperation
M as in Mooooooo…
N as in None of your Goddamn business
O as in Ommmmmmm…
P as in Plucking
Q as in Queen of France
R as in Roads Scholar
S as in Suddenly. Pineapples.
T as in Raymond Luxury Yacht
U as in Ugly late night talk show host
V as in Vat
W as in Wainscoting
X as in I hate thinking up words for X
Y as in You’re an a$$hole
Z as in Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Is this what my inspiration has come to? Oh well.

I know about recency bias, Mr. Hunter.

When did it become a major accomplishment that someone can dunk the ball?
I mean, am I missing something? Or is it just totally absurd?
Any guy from any pickup game in the world can dunk it
It’s worth 2 points. Just the same as a layup or a floater.
It looks POWERFUL, but it’s not.
The best rebounders aren’t the best jumpers, necessarily.
Fcken sad if you ask me.
“What can your client do?”
“Well, he can dunk it and block it.”
“Ummm…and?
“That’s it. Oh, he can grab rebounds when they bounce luckily into his hands.”

Lady Fingers

If any professional sports M.B.N. says any of the following: “treasure chest”, “momentum”, “fate”, “destiny”, “drop mic”, “PERIOD”, “end of discussion”, “guarantee(d)”, know-and-still-used random sh1t logical fallacies, using-because-I-learned-it-yesterday-and-want-to-show-off logical fallacies or anything like them, or if I’m just in a bad mood, I will tear one of your arms off and beat you to death with it.

Nom nom…Hey, Pine, over here. Plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.

“Come to think of it, I feel a bit peckish myself.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get callous to murder. Now where’s the stiff?”