Really cheezy, “groovy” high school crime drama/love story.
Highlights:
Frank’s mild scolding of little dino
Out Of This World short – a fairy tale about bread
boozy dad/effeminate heterosexual son
really bad fake walking
good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “I’ll win a Tony one day…”
Grade: B+
It’s amazing, to me, how many different states of mind there are. How many different ways of “knowing” “reality”. Sure, there are people that are so similar as to make it virtually the same, but there are literally BILLIONS of different ways of looking at/sensing/feeling the EXACT same conditions. How anyone, with this in mind, can believe with certainty that their “reality” is the absolute truth is mystifying.
Why did I review this MST3K episode? Because I FELT LIKE WATCHING IT.
Ah, sweet freedom.
The story arc shows Mike destroying a planet and Pearl acquiring an ape. It’s not PARTICULARLY interesting, but it’s decent.
Highlights:
cr@ppy Cold War references
military jokes (easy, but still)
pretty good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “Do you have to have your area right near me, Sir?”
Grade: C
Recently saw an online article about a new study linking cell phone use to cancer.
So? What’s the news here? That’s like the studies that PROVED that smoking had a direct connection to lung cancer.
Everyone already knew.
My theory is: Anything that isn’t natural for the human body to deal with, anything that the human body is not MADE to deal with, that it is FORCED to deal with on a massive scale over a very long period of time, causes cancer. And nothing else does.
Lungs aren’t meant to inhale smoke, they’re made to inhale oxygen.
Our bodies weren’t designed to process artificial ingredients/effects/items, so prolonged exposure to large amounts of them can cause cancer.
I mean, maybe this is completely off base, but it seems logical. I can’t think of a single instance where someone was diagnosed with cancer, and the natural contact with something the body was designed to come into contact with was pointed to as the cause, or even suggested as a possible cause.
The human body is a natural organism, it behaves according to natural laws. When things are introduced that are unnatural, despite the ENORMOUS adaptability of the human body, eventually, given enough prolonged exposure, harm is caused. I have no facts to support this other than what seems my common sense, as it does seem logical.
You have 780478 Total Visits – That’s 260K a year. Not bad. Not good…
Lately it’s slowed to a trickle. But I remember the good old days when it was moderately popular.
I thought to myself: Why aren’t people coming nearly as often? Several ideas crossed my mind.
Then I finally realized: Who gives a sh1t? Lately it’s been more work than fun, so I’ll adopt the Spinal Tap viewpoint and look upon this as a good thing. Sad? Absolutely! But maybe I’ll be discovered by Japan. Or get re-inspired over something. Until then, have a look at my glory day posts, some of which were actually pretty darn good! ‘Equilibrium’ is actually the first review I’m REALLY proud of. And rest easy in the knowledge that I’m building up a HUGE amount of material to post at a later date. Or, I’m completely out of ideas and I’ll never post anything else interesting. Too close to call, really.
And no, the site isn’t going anywhere. It’s just on hiatus. And no, I’m not selling it, if only to continue to frustrate those who enjoy seeing me fail.
Oh, and finally, at the risk of being a consumer whore (and how!), if anyone out there actually LIKES something I’ve written and wants to work on something critical-ish or MST-ish, let me know.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Cr@ppy attempted sci-fi/non-scary horror preceded by cr@ppy attempted drama. And liberally interspersed with it.
OR: The rants of a crazy old woman.
You can watch it if you want something to make fun of that safely promises never to interest, scare, or emotionally involve. There are VERY brief flashes of competence, and sound failure.
Should you choose to watch it, there is a point where a flashback occurs as an explanation of a semi-revelation. You might, like me, wonder to yourself: “Why didn’t I notice that when it happened?” The answer, I think, is “Because it wasn’t any dumber than the rest of the movie so I chalked it up to sh1tty writing.” The advantage, I suppose, of being horrible – you can disguise plot points with layer upon layer of stupidity until the viewer just doesn’t care anymore.
Featuring a sliding-door walk-in police department.
Alternate Title: ‘Invasion Of The Mouth-To-Mouth Flattened Mutant Corndogs’
Grade: F-
Well-meaning, honest politician with lots of integrity who is totally faithful to his wife is taken advantage of by conniving young vixen and her rowdy non-voting friends.
Co-funded by all male politicians everywhere. (That one’s for you, MM).
Highlights:
kitten jokes
overacting by AM
philosophical rebel leader
Mike’s come-hither look
pretty good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “Oh, GREAT…we can’t have nice arms!”
Grade: C+
The Amazing Colossal Sequel.
Highlights:
militant food exchange
Mr. B Natural short/debate
Insensitive Redux
Glen-taunting
KTLA-taunting
good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “Oh EXCUSE ME sexless man-woman.”
Grade: B+
The problem with most of these zombie-type movies is that the innate creepiness of WALKING DEAD PEOPLE tends to be negated by the fact that you can’t for a moment suspend your disbelief, because of the extreme awfulness of the acting/script/production values.
Twist: Lots of trees around.
Oh, and evidently the occasionally drunk camera operator makes a set shambling pattern unnecessary.
Favorite character: “Stunt Coordinator”
Grade: F
Perhaps Bert I. Gordon’s BEST huge stuff flick.
Highlights:
Insensitive Hospital
Insensitive Bots
Joel’s huge skit
good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “Oh, you mean old peel-and-eat Manning.”
Grade: B
The complete ineptitude and incoherence of the brilliant villain and his plan may be of interest to some, but pretty much the only thing I got out of watching this was the knowledge that sidehacking caught on with one guy somewhere in Florida.
The final battle sequence is, admittedly, one of the most pathetic attempts at compelling I’ve ever seen.
Grade: D-
*point* THERE.
What?
*point again* There…wolf.
Features the very rare occurrence of a man telling a woman to spit it out.
Highlights:
canine jokes
persistent gas station
decent riffing
cute doggy
Inspirational Quote: “aaaaAAAAHHH!”
Grade: C-
Movies:
Invasion U.S.A.: A-
Manos: The Hands Of Fate: A-
The Rebel Set: A-
Shorts:
A Date With Your Family: A+
Body Care And Grooming: A+
Last Clear Chance: A+
Why Study Industrial Arts?: A
What To Do On A Date: A
The Home Economics Story: A
Chicken Of Tomorrow: A
Mr. B Natural: A
Hired! (Part Two): A-
Catching Trouble: A-
The Days Of Our Years: A-
Cheating: A-
MST3K Shorts-a-thon: A-
Last Updated: 5/1/24
All MST reviews have been moved here, to make it slightly less confusing/because I felt like it/so people that come here for movie reviews don’t have to wade through MST, and people that come here for MST don’t have to wade through movie reviews.
Dull, boring, and predictable.
And the movie isn’t very good either.
Rated so highly because I fell asleep about 3/4ths of the way through and can’t bear to watch it again.
Grade: D-
A relatively (given most) well-made “zombie” type movie. It’s got a budget and everything.
FX (when they appear, which is rarely) are decent, and this has the look and feel of a real movie.
But it’s more a drama than a thriller/horror film, and it’s pretty tepid on both counts, despite the valiant attempts of whoever scored it.
Tolerable, but completely non-essential.
Grade: D
7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: D+
Ummmm…cr@ppy sci-fi. So nothing you haven’t seen before, including many times on MST.
Season nine, and not really inspired. So nothing you haven’t heard before.
Inspirational Quote: “Well, that said, enjoy your cr@ppy sci-fi.”
Grade: D-
Bint Alshamsa: (Responses in parentheses)
“X, Y, Z, and all of the other butthurt white people on this thread:”
(How very Christian of her…obviously she means “butthurt” in the non-pejorative sense)
“Racism against white people never occurs. It is, in fact, impossible.”
(I see…)
“Racism is power plus prejudice”
(Mathematical equivalent: Racism = X, Power = Y, Prejudice = Z. Therefore, the statement is: “X = Y + Z”)
“there are people of color in positions of power”
(Mathematical equivalent: Y is present in (some) people of color)
“Prejudice is simply the prejudging of a person without knowing them.”
(So, in order to make the mathematical model above NOT apply, you would have to say: no non-white person has ever, in any way, shape or form, prejudged a white person without knowing them, while also being in any position of power in any way, shape, or form. Oh…I don’t know…)
“Arabs can’t ever be racist against Black people”
(See Above)
“Chinese people can’t ever be racist against Japanese people.”
(See Above)
“Japanese people can’t be racist against Chinese people.”
(See Above)
“Aaron, I’d let you remain ignorant and sit back and laugh. However, because I love white people, I’m not going to do that.”
“If I hated you, I’d just let you remain ignorant and sit back and laugh.”
“Who do you think it was that made it necessary for people of color to bring the case before the Supreme Court? I’ll give you a hint. It starts with “white” and ends in “people”. LOL”
“You lose. LOL”
“By the way, I can’t stop laughing…”
(Hmmmmmmmmmm…)
“@Aaron it always amuses me when white people like you try to blame people of color for your racism.”
(“White people like me”? That sounds a bit…oh, nevermind. But anyway, moving on…ummm…first of all, I’m not a racist. Second of all, I didn’t try to blame anyone for me not being a racist. Third…your argument is inventing itself and fulfilling itself, but is completely false.)
“You’re a racist”
(Well that’s just not true…and it’s certainly not a nice thing to say in a public forum.)
“you want to be one”
(I do? I didn’t know that…)
“Adults take responsibility for their behavior.”
(And, since you’re an adult, your statements are your responsibility, by your own argument.)
“They don’t try to blame other people.”
(So, again, by your own argument, you won’t blame me for pointing out what you did, in fact, write in a public forum. Great, thanks.)
“White people don’t get to decide what’s racist.”
(Wow…who does? Everyone else? Sounds a bit…oh, nevermind…)
“white people don’t get to decide what’s racist, even when they get really butthurt because they can’t make decisions for the rest of the world any more”
(Wow…what’s with the butthurt thing? And you’re suggesting that ALL white people want to make ALL decisions for the entire world? That sounds a bit…oh, nevermind…)
“As I told Aaron, the kidnapping and trafficking and enslavement and rape and torture and lynching and genocide of millions upon millions of people of color is far more than just rude, but you have no problem remaining complicit in that.”
(You suggested that, because someone disagreed with your definition of racism, that they “condone…kidnapping, trafficking, enslavement and rape and torture and lynching and genocide of millions upon millions of people of color”. Hmmmm…sounds like someone needs a nap.)
“…you just don’t want to hear if from a woman of color…”
(Yes, white people would completely accept BS statements if only a white person had made them…that’s why white people never argue with each other, because it’s a vast conspiracy…???)
“…Japanese and Chinese people ARE the same race.”
(Wow…I did not know that. I still don’t.)
“Slavery only went away when enough white people started dying on plantations and it stopped being a sustainable way for lazy people to get rich.”
(This is my favorite: Slavery did NOT go away because the Union beat the Confederacy. The Confederacy was going to immediately end slavery regardless of the outcome of the Civil War. Don’t laugh at me, I’m just trying to translate into non-fanatic here…)
“…folks like you thought it was a-okay to call us your slaves.”
(To someone else, but basically directed at white people. Yeah…I feel the guilt, really. I mean…folks like me. You know, people with the same skin pigmentation, who otherwise have nothing to do with me.)
“…you don’t get to decide who can be rude.”
(Do you?)
“I can’t force any white person here to let go of their racist attitudes.”
(But you gave it a DARN good try.)
“Aaron, actually, I still don’t coddle racists like you.”
(So, again, you’re calling me a racist in a public forum. Very Christian.)
“Aaron’s pro tips: 2. Assume that ignorance is a valid excuse for being a white racist.”
(WAIT A MINUTE! You said “white racist”. Why did you say that? Since, according to everything you’ve said before, ONLY whites can be racist. Therefore, to say “white racist” is, by your own definition, redundant. Unless of course you mean there can be other types of racists…but that goes against everything you’ve said previously. You SEEM too eloquent to be TOTALLY redundant…Hmmmm…)
“By Aaron’s logic: Rapists should be the ONLY people allowed to decide when raped women have a right to get upset.”
(All levity aside, that’s INCREDIBLY insulting and, of course, blatantly untrue.)
“Aaron, feel free to sue me.”
(Well, you never know…)
“Aaron 2: white people should be allowed to rape, torture, enslave, and lynch people of color, since sometimes people of color are rude to them”
(I have no response to this…I would just suggest looking up “libel”)
“Aaron 3: Jesus is totally cool with Aaron defending the rape, torture, trafficking, enslavement and lynching of people of color, but he will smite anyone who is rude to those who defend these atrocities.”
(See Above)
“Aaron, you’re offended? Aww! You know what else is offensive? Being a racist. However, that doesn’t stop you.”
(It doesn’t make me happy at all to be the subject of potentially libelous statements, Bint. It actually offends me deeply. But if you want…)
Finally, to close, a question and answer…question asked by another person, and answered by me:
“Aaron…..are…you willing to say/type/admit that racism, whites towards minorities, in this country, is an ongoing, real and major problem?”
Yes, I am. Yes, it is.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
If they haven’t thought of/done this already, why not?, and here you go:
After obtaining any and all necessary permissions – Do a mix of the original Aerosmith song “Nobody’s Fault”, leaving it as is except putting in Phil Hartman saying “Fobody’s Nault!” at the appropriate places, and going through his whole “Fobody’s Nault” routine during the end outro.
*Pause inserted because I have no link* (WAIT…something about ‘Night In The Ruts’.)
I mourn the death, or at least extreme decline, of the term “mailman”. Because no longer can one say “Well, what other kind of man is there?” at the appropriate times. Although the replacement term, “mail carrier”, does have myriad disease-joke possibilities.
And of course, there’s always the old (or maybe not) “I’m waiting for the mailman to come” phrase that is just RIPE for jokes. “Why are you waiting for him to come?”, “Maybe you should help”, “So you want him to deliver your mail? (of course!) What did you order a male for? (Huh?) You’re waiting for a male, right? (No, THE mail) THE male? You mean like, one of the Beastie Boys? (WTF are you talking about?)”…and so on, and so on.
Oh God. Another found footage movie. Spoiler: It’s NOT REAL.
Actually, I think it’s an anti-seafood movie produced by the cattle industry. Or rogue chickens of yesterday.
Acting/Dialogue: tolerable (only if you like thrills/chills, see below)
Icky makeup/FX: pretty darn icky
Thrills/Chills: a few, mostly near the end. If you like that sort of thing, slog through the intro cr@p. Just make sure you’re not afraid of sudden switches in volume level.
Pro-ecology message: Good.
Really tight pants on female reporter: GREAT!
Ends around 1:19:20, then sh1tloads of credits.
Grade: C-
Four/five/six episodes in and I feel exactly the same as one episode in.
No, check that…one episode in I had hope.
So I’m stopping here. Because if I want “fairly amusing” there are plenty of other places to get it that don’t have that as an absolute, non-negotiable, completely repetitive ceiling. And there are plenty of times it doesn’t even reach that.
Quinn Martin presents: Really cr@ppy spy/action flick, sort of like a Bond film without the gadgets, excitement, sex, and intrigue.
Highlights:
A Day At The Fair short
T-V MO-VIE stupidity
terrible music/sound FX
“Life Without Mike” sketches
good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “He realizes he had not known cow until this day.”
Grade: B
“U.S. Readies Sale Of Reaper Drones To France” -Agence France Presse
When asked for comment on why they wanted so many of the drones, a French spokesman responded: “We GOTTA have more cowbell, baby.”
(free sample)
In the extremely unlikely event anyone ever actually asks me out on a date again and I want to say yes, I believe I will respond thusly:
“Well…beat’s scrubbin’ grout with a toothbrush.”
(there ya are, two for one!)
Oh GOD I’d love to learn French. Such a beautiful language.
I mean, they think well, don’t they? I mean, be fair…
Oh well, c’est la vie.
(Why don’t, wh- RUFF!)
Really bad unscary horror flick.
Highlights:
Progress Island short
divining gun
Tor jokes
off-camera dialogue
pretty good riffing
Inspirational Quote: “Yes, no matter what the culture, folk dancing is stupid.”
Grade: B-
Starts out surprisingly decent, as if it might actually be leading up to something interesting. Then after about 15-20 minutes it just gets dull.
Not a horror movie…more a drama/wanna-be-thriller.
The very ending’s a little twisted if you wanna fast-forward to that. Otherwise you can safely skip it.
Grade: D-
“(Era Nocturna) Against my better judgment I’m going to respond to this in the hopes that maybe you’ll garner some sort of insight into yourself. My reasoning for ceasing contact with you had nothing to do with the review…”
You stopped chatting with me IMMEDIATELY after reading my review. So…let’s go with an MST quote here re: your statement – “Oh, I don’t know…”
“It had to do with your behavior. You were immature and acted like someone who had absolutely zero control over their emotions and their impulse control.”
You mean like you after reading my review? Oh! 
“For those reasons I decided to cease contact with you because I have absolutely zero room or time in my life for someone who is mentally unbalanced who shows signs of being so.”
Really? You’re in your life, and you told me in a chat that you had a major mental disorder.
One that a lot of people, if I remember correctly, “couldn’t deal with” or “had problems with”…something to that effect. Unsure of the EXACT quote, but something to that effect.
“Furthermore when I blocked you, you went on to harass my friends”
Which friends are you talking about? I only know (beyond names on a page) one person, to the best of my knowledge/recollection, that you know.
“and then when they blocked you, you attempted to badmouth me in public further showing that you are not to be trusted”
Badmouth you in public??? I made a JOKE and a REVIEW. It’s called comedy/satire/criticism. Thicken that skin, girl. And the “not to be trusted” part reeks a bit of paranoia, to me…
Also, “badmouth” you “in public”? REALLY? Let’s think about that…I have a PUBLIC WEBSITE. If I wanted, TWO YEARS AGO, to “badmouth” you…where, perchance, do you think I MIGHT do it, logically? I mean…AFTER you stopped chatting with me (check the date if you want) I went back and RE-REVIEWED your album. I corrected what I saw were FAULTS in my original review, and then gave it a B-…the EXACT SAME GRADE. If I wanted to “badmouth” you, WHY, pray tell, would I say your album was pretty good?
“and that you are mentally incapable of handling rejection”
You mean like you after…oh, whatever.
“and you are frighteningly unstable.”
I’m a marvel of modern science.
“So, in short, now that I have no “career” to protect: Kindly go crawl back to the hole you crawled out of and go kill yourself.”
So you wanted me to kill myself all along, but just hid that because you wanted free pub? Ever see ‘Rejected’? You know, the part where the caption is: “I am a consumer whore!” and the other guy is saying “And how!”. That’s a good one. I review that here too.
Also, by your own admission, you are no longer a public figure. Thanks.
And, regarding my death, I seem to recall from a conversation with ummm…the one person friends unit, that they were actually quite concerned for my well-being. I mean, I don’t KNOW this, but it seemed like, when they talked to me, they were sort of afraid that YOU might do something to try to hurt me. And this isn’t a person that scares easily, from what I’ve seen/observed.
Just an observation.
“By the way – your behavior is grossly inappropriate and is a sure sign of borderline personality disorder.”
Is that the one you have? Or was it another one? I forget which one you told me you had…I know it was relatively major, though.
“I highly recommend you seek DBT therapy”
Can I join your group?
“or, as I said above, die. Because your life is in serious risk of sucking for the remainder of whatever time you have left because absolutely NO ONE wants to know someone with BPD. You ALL suck because you’re psychos.”
Wait, how can you want me to get “help” if “NO ONE” will ever want to know me because I “suck”, according to your semi-professional psychiatric diagnosis? And again…isn’t that, ummm…the illness that you said…well, nevermind.
You know people, though, I’m pretty sure of that.
Well, I may suck, but only at first. Then I keep on suckin’ and I succeed.
Hey, good luck with your care…oh, nevermind. 
I think I love you. Again. WAIT! No…yes….no….MAYBE….no. YES!…no.
P.S. – quote of “Era Nocturna” is in fact the words of Dae Noctem (I think, unless someone’s typing for her), no message to/from any other member of the band Era Nocturna is expressed or implied, implicitly or explicitly.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Huge online article written about her request.
See “Dirty Laundry”.
Associated Parasites/Don Henley/Puppy
Better than episode 2. So I keep watching, I guess.
Typical pseudo-goth villain: they can let evil sh1t happen, but they can’t actually DO it. Pose(u)rs.
Highlights: persistent screams, extra kick, Todd’s dream.
Inspirational Quote: “I thought you’d like them because they’re dead…and gothy.”
They missed a GREAT chance for a Python reference (of which they make many) in that cr@ppy Scandinavian movie featuring someone named “Lemonkainen”, or something like that.
Every time they said that name, Crow should have quipped: “Lemon Curry??”
“Shot 16 Times By Cops, Innocent Man Files $20-Million Suit” – Title of recent AOL news video.
Basically they served a search warrant on an address, but the man they shot, who was lying in bed at the time, wasn’t the man they were looking for.
According to the two officers (one sheriff, one DOC) he “reached for what they thought was a gun”.
Now let’s think about this…there’s two of them, and one of him. They’re law enforcement, he’s not.
I’m not saying he did or did not “reach for what they thought was a gun”…but if he DIDN’T, hypothetically speaking, whose word do you think would be taken by most people (including, of course, the police)? The two officers who corroborate the same story, or the one non-officer who tells a different story? Again, I don’t know what happened…and to presume either way is wrong. I’m just saying that IF, hypothetically, they told a different story…who would be believed?
But hey, what do I know.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Terrible zombie flick with a down-home relaxed southern feel.
Mr. Blonde has gone from menacing to fat, wrinkly, and pathetic.
I mean, I’m fat and wrinkly. But at least I didn’t star in this.
I also spotted a guy that was decent in ‘The Rock’ about 20 years ago.
Even if you just want gore, there are much better options.
I have a theory: the main reason anyone agreed to appear in this movie (except the ‘Rock’ guy) is NOT the money. It’s so they could put on their resume “I was in a movie with Michael Madsen”.
I was GOING to give this an F- right til the end, when I realized it could be interesting to watch to make fun of. But only barely. So I upped it.
48:10 – Ah, brilliant ‘Reservoir Dogs’ rip. Door instead of cigarette.
48:32 – ‘Rock’ guy realizes he’s in this movie.
Epilogue: I’d rather the log remained hairy. Also, during the second string of end credits, does the guy really say “high fever of the t1tty?”
Grade: F
“Ignorance is bliss” is an imprecise statement.
Is = to be.
Ignorance = lack of knowledge.
So basically, “ignorance is the equivalent of bliss” or “ignorance is the root/cause of bliss”.
Which is false, since I know plenty of ignorant people that are really unhappy, and…well, actually NOONE isn’t ignorant. Of SOMETHING. Unless you know everything there is to know…and I don’t think any one person does…you are, in at least one sense, ignorant.
Therefore, the statement implies all people are blissful, which is not only imprecise it’s also COMPLETELY inaccurate.
I suppose it makes sense as a metaphor, perhaps…but are metaphors really logical? And even if they are, are they appropriate for “logic statements”?
I mean, according to this analogy (Hey! That’s what it could be!) the more ignorant a person is, the happier they are. Therefore, the opposite must be true: the more a person learns, the less happy they become.
Hmmm…maybe there’s more to the Cthulhu mythos than I thought…
Not as funny or witty as the first. Oh well…it’s good enough to make me watch number three, at least.
Jason Mewes tones Jay down a little as the high school janitor. He’s a BRILLIANT advice-giver.
What’s the story? None, really…same as the first. Different possessed, different variations.
Highlight: Ultra-erotic homunculus lure.
Inspirational Quote: “Look, just because some teacher carved a pentagram into his own forehead and then slipped in his own blood…”
Here’s what will happen (well, it’s already happening, but…and I think I said this before, but just in case I didn’t…)
1) CA/A’s will throw off their chains and yell and scream with FUUURRR-ious anger.
2) Some non-CA/A’s will be offended and engage, others will ignore.
3) Conversations/arguments will go nowhere, but continue for no adequately explored/explained reason.
4) I will rip Douglas Adams just to piss off CA/A’s, even though he’s overrated.
5) CA/A’s will obtain marvelous accomplishments such as a bench, an organization, and a catchphrase for me.
6) Non-CA/A’s will find that the CA/A’s grow tiresome and cease engaging.
6.9) CA/A’s will gradually grow tired of screaming as they have fewer and fewer things to scream about, leaving only a small, borderline-lunatic fringe still screaming.
7) World will continue, ignoring this fringe group as it ignores other fringe groups.
8) CA/A’s will live in own world, because insulation protects against reality.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
“…(Pope) Francis apparently objected to the statue on account of his abhorrence of the cult of personality…”
From The Huffington Post, article by Paul Brandeis Raushenbush.
“Personality cults were first described in relation to totalitarian
regimes that sought to alter or transform society according to
radical ideas…Often, a single leader became associated with this revolutionary transformation, and came to be treated as a benevolent “guide” for the nation without whom the transformation to a better future couldn’t occur. This has been generally the justification for personality cults that arose in totalitarian societies of the 20th century, such as those of Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini and Joseph Stalin.” – From Wikipedia, “Cult of Personality”
Now if only CA/A COP heads of state (Hello, North Korea!) would follow suit.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Surprisingly witty (so far) and raunchy mock-horror-ish comedy from Canada.
Guest appearance by Jay near the end.
Better than most Joss Whedon sh1t. So far, at least. I’ll keep you posted.
Inspirational Quote: “You doesn’t care about me!”
In the information age, watching cr@ppy episodes just for the story arc is a choice.
Short but brilliant rendition on violin.
Two things:
1) My love for the subject matter is probably greater than yours, and
2) She does make one obvious mistake near the beginning
But she tackles a very difficult piece head-on, and as R. Christgau once said, “(s)he did it in one take.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWV6dcv21c8
Grade: A-
I am SO sick of the elitist “In the information age, ignorance is a choice” cliche. Which implies that ignorance is ALWAYS, by definition, bad.
Ignorance(n): The condition of being uninformed or uneducated. Lack of knowledge or information.
What if I just don’t give a fck about something? I mean, if I’m choosing between Cruise and Hoffman in that hotel, I’m gonna choose to have sex and remain ignorant over choosing to gain “knowledge/information” by reading the phone book. To “g”…half of g.
I mean, if you really believe it’s better to know the names and numbers of everyone up to half of G in a town you’re never coming back to and know noone in because that’s “information” than to relax and fck around, you are a moron. Of course, this is just a straw dog. Or a salad day.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Why haven’t I reviewed the ‘Design For Dreaming’ short before? It’s a really stupid, annoying musical number that isn’t redeemed by riffs. And the riffs aren’t good.
Movie is a typical cr@ppy 50’s sci-fi exploration/drama flick.
Riffing gets mostly dull about halfway through.
THRILL as the writers intermittently prepare for ‘Space Mutiny’ naming.
WONDER if they came up with the whole ‘Space Mutiny’ names idea without re-watching this and the other prequely one the name of which I can’t remember and don’t care enough to look up.
EXULT with me in my brief moment of moderate inspiration.
Highlights:
Frank’s touching roast of Dr. F
PBS jokes
Inspirational Quote: “The moon is officially icky.”
Grade: D
Isn’t it sort of naughty to do your taxes as “married filing separately/jointly” (depending on which gets more money for one side) when the only reason you’re not divorced is because the other side is too scared of the first side?
Marriage is certainly getting a bit more confusing these days, what with the different combinations and all.
SERIOUS NOTE: I support gay marriage and this is a joke, so if you quote me out of context you’re a vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert.
But here, just watch this to see how confusing it can get:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HztsKaQBesg
However, I think the problem can be solved very easily if every couple (or group, if polygamy’s a factor) adopts these simple words as the standard wedding question/response:
“Do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?”
*in unison* “yes”
“Right, go and do your prayer.”
A sh1t horror film that features zombies (well, sort of) near the end.
Sub-Corman-esque in its pandering: misogynists in the beginning, desperate gore fiends around 55 minutes in. Briefly.
But most importantly fans of badly-acted, horribly-written sh1t all the way through.
Features the worst police office set ever very partially constructed.
30:45- CUT! Ok, now the zombie movie…umm…well, about 25 mins later actually.
31:41- Gordy NO!!!
Inspirational Quote: “Here…have a cookie.”
Grade: F-
Bert I. shows you how to make a “big stuff” movie:
1) Write a dumb script
2) Hire some bad actors
3) Make some cheap cr@ppy FX
Stick with just the host bits until around 32:00, at least. Then it’s intermittently amusing.
Highlights:
Mr. Torgo applies at Deep 13
Tom Servo’s mom
brilliant mumblings
Ode to Frank (repeated at the end)
Inspirational Quote: “I dreamed I was standing by a big dead duck in my underwear.”
Grade: D+
If someone was in a persistent vegetative state, and you ate them, would that make you a cannibal or a vegetarian?
Very vaguely Batman-ish ripoff movie featuring dullness and dull cheeze.
Just watch the short.
Highlights:
Cheating short
Inspirational Quote: “There are not enough belltowers in the world for Johnny.”
Grade: D
“REDLANDS, Calif. — A Southern California high school teacher was arrested on unlawful sex charges two weeks after she gave birth to a baby that was allegedly fathered by a student, Redlands police said Tuesday.
Laura Elizabeth Whitehurst, 28, was arrested Monday night for
allegedly having unlawful sex with a 16-year-old, Redlands police
spokesman Carl Baker. She was the boy’s adviser.”
Age of Consent in the state of California: 18
So when a male teacher has sex with an underage female student, it’s rape.
When a female teacher has sex with an underage male student, it’s…well, just kinda naughty.
Exactly where is the “equality” here?
Because you have a vagina it means you can rape kids?
Brilliant comments displaying the wonders of sexist double-standard stupidity:
“It takes 2 to tango! The Boy is the father so why is it a crime? They
both did it so why is she being charged for It? She just gave birth so
let her be. And If the Boy’s mom doesn’t like her then be it. I’m sad
for the baby.”
“16 is not a child. He is old enough to know right from wrong”
(Both of these made by supposedly female commenters).
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Really horrible Corman western. Look for the frequent/flagrant mistakes.
Highlights:
Servo’s big fluffy head
two guys in a horse outfit
jeep tracks of the ollllld west.
Grade: D+
“NEW YORK — A former jail guard pleaded guilty Wednesday to charges she had sex behind bars with an inmate convicted of gunning down two police officers in cold blood…a man her lawyer says she still cares about and who fathered her baby boy…” – Tom Hays, AP
So much for solidarity.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
This is NOT a zombie movie.
It took me at least two (maybe three) tries to watch this. I searched for “zombie” on Netflix and then looked at ALL (and boy are there a lot, some of them very sad) of the results. This actually stuck out to me and I moved it to the top of my queue because it didn’t sound familiar and I thought it MIGHT actually be decent. But when I was asked if I wanted to “Resume” viewing, I sensed danger. Even with absolutely nothing better to do and a review waiting, it took quite a bit of will to force myself to actually watch the WHOLE D@MN THING.
It’s a student-film level attempt at moviemaking, which happens to revolve vaguely around the zombie concept. Sort of like ‘My Sucky Teen Romance’ and vampires, only not as good.
I think the male lead sums up Blake Reigle’s confusion over what could make this movie interesting: “Drugs, sex, murder, pills?…nothing??”
Grade: F-
