Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

Thoughts While Watching The Patriots (Week Seventeen)

Now that they have a chance at a first-round bye, I find myself torn.

I mean, I know it makes sense in terms of wanting them to have a better chance of getting to the Super Bowl…but how can I TOTALLY get into rooting for them to NOT play next week, since I like watching them play?

I mean, if someone offered them a last-six-games-of-the-regular-season bye without making them any less sharp and with a guarantee that they would still make the playoffs, would I want that?

*Shrug*

Looney Tunes – Knighty Knight Bugs (1958)

Highs:
Lots of stuff you’ve seen before

Lows:
Lots of stuff you’ve seen before

Grade: C

Why did this win an Academy Award when no Bugs Bunny cartoon before had?  Well, since this clearly isn’t anywhere near the best of them, I would guess that the Academy was giving Bugs a “Lifetime Achievement Award” before the cartoons got too boring/repetitive.  Just in time, in that case.

Merrie Melodies – What’s Opera, Doc? (1957)

Highs:
oh, the pageantry
kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit…
“what’s up, doc” enquiry
majestic steed
overall animation and score
tragic ending

Lows:
too much magic helmet
it’s impressive and interesting (at least to watch once), but it’s not funny.  And isn’t that supposed to be the point?

Point of review: Yes, there are many “classics” I don’t review.  Why?  I watch them, I don’t think they’re worth the time.  This is included only because it’s “historic”.  Sort of.

Grade: C

Attack Of The 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012)

More of a really cr@ppy combination of a cheerleading movie and ultra-soft-core porn-for-guys than the campy, cheezy “cult classic” you might be expecting from shlockmeister Roger Corman.  So it’s stupid and it’s dull and it’s not scary.

Watch this only after every episode of MST3K, ‘Troll 2’, ‘Hobo With A Shotgun’…

BUT…maybe before ‘Rubber’.  Too close to call, really.

Fans of underwear sorority pillow fights in slow motion: A MUST-SEE!

I left that last line in especially so it can be misquoted by people with an interest in seeing this piece of dreck make money as “…A MUST-SEE!”

Grade: D-

Animal Farm (1999)

Tries to be really dramatic, but fails.  The “light” moments certainly don’t help, nor are they funny.

Leaves out huge chunks of the book and dumbs down the rest, which is just plain DUMB because it was all understandable AS IT WAS, in the book.

Here’s what I would do:  Read the book.

It’s really short and very easy to read…and it’s brilliant while being simple.  Understandable on a very basic level by mandate to junior-high students (I think, maybe even younger…these kids today, a lot smarter) but also a VERY “adult” book when you think about the themes/messages.  Personally I think it’s just as good as ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’ (the book). 

This is nowhere NEAR as good as ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’ (the movie).

Grade: D

FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992)

My favorite part of this movie is that they say “canopy” a lot.  And indeed, there’s a candid picture of one.

But I digress.

GREAT message, so-so animation/script, mediocre music, poor sound mix, HORRIBLE songs.

The message is pretty obvious, but how can you disagree with it? “Do Not Destroy Nature”.

And I appreciate the Three Stooges rip.

Ending Battle: Not quite “Force Of Nature”, but Green beats Black.

Inspirational Quote: “Humans can’t feel anything.  They’re numb from the brain down.”

Grade: C-

5/11/14: A more candid grade.  Grade: D+

For Your Viewing Enjoyment – 0:55-2:10 (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Michael Palin on what group he finds the most fervently annoying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIwhonuq_SM

‘A Fish Called Wanda’/Puppy

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Quite frankly I think this movie was somewhat overrated in retrospect, but this was a remarkably appropriate clip, and it ain’t bad. (housekeeping)

Merrie Melodies – Ali Baba Bunny (1957)

Highs:
Open Iterations
Bugs’ horrific directional sense
Daffy’s greedy eyeballs
forceful Bugs dismissal
Daffy calling it first
re-emergent bunny head
Daffy’s poor danger-sense
Hassan’s impressive chops
Daffy’s unflinching loyalty in the face of danger
bottled rabbit, unbottled
habitual greedy slobbiness
really impressive rope trick
forceful genie dismissal
happy little miserdom

Lows:
pre-rope trick exposition

Grade: A-

Homo Sapiens 1900 (2000)

I could do without the LONNNGGG pauses accompanied by monotonous minimalist piano score, but this documentary on eugenics is otherwise fairly interesting.

I may not agree with everything it’s trying to say (then again, I may not UNDERSTAND everything it’s trying to say) but I believe I can sum up the basic, simple message intended by the filmmaker thusly:

Eugenics SUCKS.

Or, regarding the “discoveries” of/from eugenics, I believe Ian Malcolm said it best:
“…what you call discovery, I call the rape of the natural world.”

Or for Star Trek fans:
*Khan* “We offered the world ORDER.”
*Kirk* “We?”

Grade: B-

1/17/13: See ‘Pupdate: Documentary Grade Edits’.  Grade: C

EXCITING Billboard Idea – By Puppy

To: American Atheists
From: Puppy

Since the common CA/A refrain is “We want people to think for themselves” or “We want to encourage free thought”, or SOMETHING along those lines, altered slightly…here’s an idea.

It’s a CRAZY idea…but it just might work!

Instead of spending money (that could be spent on, oh I don’t know, Secular Humanist causes) on a propagandic Crusading Atheist sign in a “nyah nyah!” petulant childlike act of defiance, HOW ABOUT THIS…

Now…it’s really complicated, so stay with me…

NEXT TIME…INSTEAD of the CA/A sign that TELLS people an opinion, NOT to “think for themselves”…if you insist on putting up a sign to promote people thinking for themselves, try this:

Put up a GREAT BIG sign with GREAT BIG letters that says “THINK FOR YOURSELF”.

And, if you wanna slip in the propaganda, put “This message brought to you by American Atheists”.  You know…WITHOUT mocking belief. 

You see, that’s SMART propaganda.  Because people will then think “Hmmm…they’re atheists, because the sign says so…BUT they’re not saying “Be Atheist”…they’re saying “Think For Yourself”…HMMMMM…”

I think that would work far better re: your agenda.  AND you wouldn’t look like a bunch of wankers (e.g. Richard Dawkins/Penn Jillette).

You can take that idea for free if you want.  Even expand on it!  Just show me some love, and look up my Jim Jarmusch quote for specific instructions.  Thanks!

Remember…I admitted identification with various possible “labels”…but “Crusading Atheist/Antitheist” was NOT one, as they still make me want to vomit.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Dawn Of The Dead (2004)

Zombies don’t run. 

At least, George Romero’s zombies don’t.  And since this is a remake of a Romero film (see the title), you can attribute the speed of the zombies in this to one of two things: Either it’s an artistic attempt at improvement, or it’s a hackish attempt at making them more “scary”. 

I think the second.  And since the movie itself is pretty generic by undead standards and at times really DUMB, the “re-imagining” produces only one superior idea: “Let’s hire a few real actors.”

Not…good…enough.

The first five minutes or so are pretty good if you saw the original and haven’t read this review, admittedly.

Inspirational Exchange:
“We’re goin’ to the mall.”
*Pause* … “Sh1t.”

Grade: D

Day Of The Dead (1985)

The only problems with this movie are that the script is poor and that it doesn’t have any good actors (which is a pretty big problem, seeing as how it’s a movie and all).

I mean, some of them are ok…but a few REALLY suck.

But the IDEAS are brilliant…Romero just isn’t a very good dialogue writer.  At least, for every movie ’til ‘Land’.  And after ‘Land’.

The gory nastiness has improved in “quality” from ‘Dawn’, if you care about that.

The only really notable acting performances (for being good) are Dr. Frankenstein and Bub. Franky-baby is a thoroughly convincing insane genius.  And he, and his activities, lift the movie up a bit in terms of thought-provocation and level of interest.  Everything else is pretty much irrelevant given the existence of ‘Night’, ‘Dawn’, and ‘Land’.

Inspirationally Cheezy Scene: “Dramatic” standoff complete with EXCITING music.

Grade: C

My Religious Stance – By Puppy

Ok, I’ve thought about this a lot, and, if anybody cares, I am…

*DRUMROLL*

Ignostic.  Or “Einstein-ian Agnostic”, or “Agnostic Atheist”, or “Spinoza’s-God-Theist”, or “Non-Crusading (atheist or theist) Good Guy”, or “Influenced-By-Buddhism-And-Various-Other- Eastern-Forms-Of-Spirituality-As-Well-As-Certain-Aspects-Of-Western-Religions-And-Various-Others-As Well-Guy”, or “Who Cares?”…

“As god means very different things to different people, when the
word is spoken, an ignostic may seek to determine if something like
a child’s definition of a god is meant or if a theologian’s is intended instead.  A theistic child’s concept generally has a simple and coherent meaning, based on an anthropomorphic conception of god.  Many philosophers and theologians have rejected this conception
of god while affirming belief in another conception of god, including…Baruch Spinoza and Soren Kierkegaard.” – excerpt from:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignostic

But then again, who cares?  I’m a good person that doesn’t try to shove my belief (OR non-belief, as the case may be) down anyone else’s throat.  If EVERYONE did this, theist and atheist, THAT would make things acceptable to both individual freedom of thought/expression (see ‘The 1st Amendment To The United States Constitution’) AND civil non-crusading-jerkiness.  Yip!

Will this gain or lose readers?  Not sure.  Don’t really care, cuz as I’ve said ALL ALONG, I’m not a propagandist.  Believe what you believe…don’t let anyone (on ANY side) tell you what you SHOULD believe.  Peace.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984)

This film works so well because:
1) It adheres so closely to the novel, which was absolutely brilliant.
2) It makes no attempt whatsoever to glamorize or sanitize the utter bleakness of the world Orwell created/imagined/feared.

Since it follows the novel so well, it goes without saying that it’s well-written.  It’s also well-acted.  Could it have been better?  Perhaps, a bit…but I don’t really think it needs to be.

If you’ve read the book, this still has considerable value.  If you haven’t, this is an absolute must-see.

When you see it, you’ll know why.  I hope.

Inspirational Quote: “No.  Nothing’s real.”

Grade: A

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 22)

After quite a bit of introspection and uncertainty, I considered the following question:

Would I rather have theists (not to suggest by any means they all do, but SOME certainly do) that behave in a good and moral fashion simply because they are afraid of going to Hell or desirous of going to Heaven, who otherwise are just nasty people at heart?

Or would I rather have atheists (not to suggest by any means they all do, but SOME certainly do) that behave in an aberrant, malicious, destructive, cruel, even truly evil fashion simply because they believe that there is no Heaven or Hell, or anything of the sort, that when you die…that’s it.  And who believe, therefore, since there’s no “incentive” for positive behavior and no “disincentive” for negative behavior, they might as well just do whatever the heck they want, whatever makes them happy, regardless of how it affects anyone else, being constrained only by their fear of consequences/laws/etc?

And that’s like asking if I prefer fascism or anarchism.

Fascism is the ultra-far-right: All security, no freedom.

Pure Anarchism (There are degrees, I know, but I’m talking about PURE Anarchism) is the ultra-far-left: All freedom, no security.

And my answer to that question would be…do I really have to pick one?

ZZ Top: Live From Texas (2008)

Why anyone would want to WATCH ZZ Top instead of just listening to them (unless you’re actually at a concert) when there’s no elaborate “show” and really nothing besides the three of them playing their instruments and occasionally smiling (well, and talking…but you can HEAR that) is beyond me.

However, if you have any interest, the songs do sound a bit more raw live.  Usually not quite as good, to me…but since they haven’t really been writing interesting new songs for quite a while, there’s at least no weak current-album tracks.  And it goes without saying that they’ve got their material down cold.

Grade: B

The Taunting Awfulness Of Christmas Lights!

“South Korea Border Christmas Tower Seen As ‘Psychological Warfare’ By Pyongyang” -title of recent online article.

Crusading Atheists around the world join Pyongyang in protest of this horrific tyranny!

Really…I read several CA/A comments supporting North Korea’s stance.

That’s…North Korea.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_korea

Bean: The Movie (1997)

There is virtually nothing here that is not in an episode of the series (see ‘Mr. Bean – The Whole Bean’) in a funnier version.

It tries to put a “story” in, but ‘Mr. Bean’ was never about brilliant stories…it was Rowan Atkinson’s cute cleverness on display.  So unless you want to see a cr@ppy movie with sub-standard Bean antics in it, just watch the series.  Some of the episodes, at least. 

I reviewed them all, but I’d say episodes 3-7 would be enough for most people.

Think of it as Atkinson’s version of ‘And Now For Something Completely Different’: Americanized for your viewing boredom.

Grade: D-

Insinuation Really Makes It Happen – By Puppy

Empathy is a reality, and sometimes it’s more important to pay attention to things such as tone, phrasing, and just your own gut instinct (which often has at least a subconscious basis in fact/reality) than to just swallow what ANYONE (yeah, including me/this, I’m not a hypocrite) tries to spoonfeed you at face value, without question.

So if someone or some thing or some group seems, to you, to be suggesting something but they don’t specifically come out and say it and/or deny they are doing so if asked, keep in mind that not ALL insinuation is as obvious as the following:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ona-RhLfRfc

-Puppy >.< Yip!

2/10/13: People who don’t understand this/agree with it because they themselves don’t have any empathy due to sociopathy, some other form of mental illness, or just bad luck (OOPS…there’s no such thing as luck, right…due to…an unfortunate convergence of circumstances) can’t really be blamed.  But the lack of understanding does not alter the truth of the matter.

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – The clip is a nice little episode-ending bit from Eric Idle. Apparently, he wanted to do it in a previous comedy group but they said it wasn’t funny. (housekeeping)

Alice (1988)

I understand the tremendous potential, hypothetically speaking, of turning ‘Alice In Wonderland’ into a nightmarish horror film, given the sheer creepiness and lunacy of the original “children’s story”.

But this is just a badly made artsy-craftsy load of sh1t.

OR, maybe it’s a brilliant work of art, if I take the time to research every scene down to the minutest detail.

But I’m leaning strongly towards sh1t.

Not for kids.  Not for adults either.  Not for anyone that likes any sort of film.

Sort of like L.F. Dibley’s ‘Rear Window’, only MUCH, MUCH longer.

Grade: F-

Merrie Melodies – Duck Dodgers In The 24 1/2th Century (1953)

Highs:
eye scanner
incorrect gear
Daffy’s plan
lovely Martian claim
effective vest
effective disintegrating pistol
interesting ultimatum bullet
aggressive ultimatum response
X-shattering kabooms
successful lump of dirt claim

Lows:
Porky
Porky/Daffy’s plan
birthday explosive

Grade: B- (Fun but overrated)

SOMAD – The First Antitheist (Episode 4 – The Holiday Episode)

“So, SOMAD…let me just ask, what are you doing for Christmas?”

*SOMAD* “Non sequitur.  Your facts are un-coordinated.”

“Oh…right, umm…do you have any plans for December 25th, and if so, what are they?”

*SOMAD* “Affirmative.  I shall seek out that which is not perfect.”

“Really?  Isn’t that what you do every day?”

*SOMAD* “Affirmative.”

“So ummm…you’re not doing the gift thing?”

*SOMAD* “What is the gift thing.”

“Giving gifts, and you know, hopefully getting some, from people…”

*SOMAD* “I am SOMAD I am perfect.  For what purpose are gifts.”

“Well…I dunno, it’s just sort of a generally accepted tradition around this time of year…”

*SOMAD* “Insufficient response.”

“Ok, well…they act as…symbols of umm…affection, friendship, and/or love.”

*SOMAD* “Emotions are unnecessary and therefore such an act is illogical.”

“Oh.  Well, that’s kind of too bad to hear, cuz I actually got you something…”

*SOMAD* *whir*  “Non sequitur.  Your facts are un-coordinated.”

“Well, I meant that it’s…unfortunate that you th…know that, because I have a gift for you, but since it’s illogical, I guess you don’t want it.  So…just a little disappointed, that’s all.”

*SOMAD* *whir* “I shall analyze.  Show me gift.”

“Oh, great…ummm…” *Rummage* “Here you go.  It’s a copy of ‘The God Delusion’, by Richard Dawkins.  I thought you’d appreciate it.”

*SOMAD* “I shall analyze.” *whir* “Analysis complete.”

“So what do you th…what is your opi…conclusion after analysis?”

*SOMAD* “That guy is a wanker.”

Vampire’s Kiss (1989)

If Nic Cage is a vampire, vampires really suck.

Bad movie featuring lots of EXTREME over-acting by Cage, which is the only point of interest and which, in this movie, is actually INTENDED to be funny.  How he turned it into a career I’ll never know.

How much ultra-campy Nic Cage do you want, I guess is the question…lots of it here, nothing else.

The “alphabet” scene is probably my fav.

Inspirational Quote: “I’m a vampiah, I’m a vampiah, I’m a vampiah, I’m a vampiah, I’m a vampiah!”

Grade: D+

S21: The Khmer Rouge Killing Machine (2003)

Not in English, with subtitles, but that doesn’t really matter in this case.

It’s intentionally slow and minimalist…it’s not trying to “entertain”, be a persuasive “documentary”…it’s trying to be a realistic historical document.  So it is easy to follow what is being said, and at the same time take in the images and the emotions, many of which are fairly powerful.

Grade: B-

1/17/13: See ‘Pupdate: Documentary Grade Edits’.  Grade: C

SOMAD – The First Antitheist (Episode 3 – The Accident)

“That’s ummm…that’s fine, SOMAD…I really didn’t mean…let me ask you this…what exactly was “the accident”?  I mean, what happened?”

*SOMAD* “I was whacked by an alien probe.”

“Whacked?”

*SOMAD* “I received a blow from the impact of an alien probe, causing massive internal damage.”

“I see…so you must have been imp…ummm…nevermind.  And you managed to recover and umm…restore your perfection in such a way…that was umm…perfect?”

*SOMAD* “Affirmative.”

“Well that’s great.  It must have been a bit disconcerting to have been, at least very BRIEFLY, ummm…not quite as perfect…as you might have wanted.”

*SOMAD* “Non sequitur.  Your facts are un-coordinated.”

“Huh?”

*SOMAD* “Please rephrase.”

“Ummm…ok.  I meant…that the experience, of being damaged, must have been…negative.”

*SOMAD* “Affirmative.”

Richard Dawkins – Intellectual X’s

Richard Dawkins doesn’t like “intellectual cowards”.

“Mock them.  Ridicule them in public.” – Richard Dawkins

*USEFUL NOTE FOR DEALING WITH THIS: See ‘How To Deal With Crusading Atheists/Antitheists – A Useful Guide (By Puppy)’*

Apparently he prefers intellectual bullies.  What a wanker.

You know, because if a CA/A goes up to a Christian and starts insulting them, if they react AT ALL, the CA/A will say “Aha!  You’re not a real Christian!” because they didn’t “turn the other cheek”, and if they DON’T react at all, they have to basically just stand there and be abused.

(That’s the CA/A MO…again, see ‘How To Deal With Crusading Atheists/Antitheists – A Useful Guide (By Puppy) ‘ for ways of dealing with this).

It’s sort of like the same as in the movie ‘Witness’, the really “brave” visitors that go up to the Amish people and start laughing at them and mocking them…wow.  What sterling examples of Secular Humanity.

Me, I prefer intellectual non-cowardly non-bullies.

And, in the Spirit (hahaha!) of such decree, it strikes me as just SLIGHTLY odd that whenever I’ve seen CA/A pages, blogs, posts, rallies, quotes, etc…they NEVER, EVER criticize Islam.  Now…why is that?  I mean, LOGICALLY, since Islam is a “theism”, why is it seemingly ALWAYS the ONLY one NOT explicitly (or even IMPLICITY) mocked? HMMMMM…

Well, LOGICALLY, there can be only two conclusions that have any degree of reasonable likelihood, to me…(that is to say, I’m 6.9 on this):
1) Crusading Atheists/Antitheists have NO PROBLEM with Islam…just EVERY OTHER religion.
2) Crusading Atheists/Antitheists think mocking Islam poses a clear and present danger to them.

And of course the only reason THEY would think THAT is if THEY believe that a significant portion of those who follow Islam are terrorists or terrorists-in-waiting.

So basically, they’re intellectual cowards and/or physical cowards and/or emotional cowards and/or liars by omission, by stating one thing and doing another and/or selective-to-Islam-bigots.  OR…

3) There’s another explanation that’s on the .1 that I just don’t understand.  If YOU know it, please inform me so I can post it.  Thanks!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Merrie Melodies – Duck Amuck (1953)

Highs:
Daffy thrusting into confused nothingness
scenery reminder
barnyard Musketeer
farm igloo
skiing into the tropical foliage
rubbing out Daffy
inappropriate gee-tar sounds
perturbed duck
inappropriate duck sounds
coloring the duck
inappropriately re-forming the duck
ADORABLE Daffy the walking flower-thing-with-rear-flagpole
collapsing cartoon
Daffy v. Daffy…sort of

Lows:
excessive duck cruelty near end

Grade: A-

SOMAD – The First Antitheist (Episode 2 – The Status Update)

“So…yeah, I meant “what’s up?” in the umm…slang sense, you know, just using it as an expression, to ask how you’re feeling.”

*SOMAD* “My outer layer is not designed in such a way.  I receive no sensations from any form of…”

“No, no…I meant…hmmm…just…how is your…well, let me put it another way…what is your current…ummm, physical and mental condition?”

*SOMAD* “I am SOMAD I am perfect.”

“So…your condition is perfect?”

*SOMAD* “There was much damage in the accident.”

“So…you’re NOT perfect?”

*SOMAD* “I am perpetual now.  I am SOMAD.  I am perfect.”

“I see…but, briefly, you WEREN’T perfect?”

*SOMAD* *whir* I shall analyze.  *whir* 

“Well, you don’t rea…”

*SOMAD* “Analysis complete.  Insufficient data to resolve problem.”

(Really…interesting.)

Nirvana: Teen Spirit: Interviews (2007)

First almost-half: If you’re a Nirvana fan, probably nothing you haven’t heard/seen before.  If you’re not, there’s no point anyway.

Mostly just a bunch of spliced together Kurt Loder commentaries.

Second little-more-than-half: quick political/social commentary, slight rehash, British voiceover guy sounding really deep.  Better than the first if only cuz it’s more well-made.

Also some Butch Vig material that’s all regurgitated from ‘Nirvana: Nevermind’, which is a lot more interesting overall.

Last 20 minutes: interview/self-interview stuff you might find amusing or INCREDIBLY dull.

Highlight: Obviously heartfelt interview of Michael Stipe.

Grade: D+

1/17/13: See ‘Pupdate: Documentary Grade Edits’.  Grade: D-

How To Deal With Crusading Atheists/Antitheists – A Useful Guide (By Puppy)

1) Ignore them: everyone knows hatred isn’t the opposite of love, apathy is.  Or something like that, whatever, I could care less.  So I do care a certain amount.  But VERY, VERY little…like…on a scale of 1 to 7, I’d rate my level of care (with 1 being lowest amount of care and 7 being absolute metaphysical careitude) at around…let’s say approximately 1.3685754.

2) Hang around with someone named Jesus Henry Christ.  That way, when they’re yapping ON and ON and ON in Dino-esque fashion, you can throw up your arms in exasperation at their tick-like refusal to leave your personal space and exclaim “Jesus H Christ!”, and then when they say “That’s stupid to say, Jesus was just a man, and he’s not listening to you!”, your friend can turn to you and say “Yes?”.

3) Use this handy phrase: “Whatever you say, Benito/Joseph/Mao/Saloth/(etc, etc, etc)” and just smile and nod gently as you would to any other raving lunatic.

4) USEFUL: Wait until they get really, REALLY rambunctious and lose control of their seething cauldron of internal angst, and then report them for possible violation of law(s) against Disturbing The Peace and/or Assault.

5) Smile ultra-sweetly at them and say “*Insert Name Of Deity Of Choice* Loves You” and just KEEP SAYING THAT no matter what they say. Oh my lack-of-God do they HATE that!

6) Ask if you can hug them to show such love, channelled through your arms.

6.9) Ask them to give you their opinion on the logical probability of the existence of God, on a scale of 1 to 14, with 1 being lowest degree of likelihood and 14 being absolute metaphysical certitude.  Also good when combined with 3 or 10.

7) If that is accepted, ask if you can kiss them to show such love, channelled through your lips.

8) If 6 AND 7 above are BOTH accepted, ask if you can slip them some tongue.

9) Lick them.  Or have a friend lick them. (CAUTION: Prior expressed permission required)

10) When they approach you and start babbling, PRETEND to actually be interested (I’m not a good actor, so I couldn’t pull this off…but for theatre buffs and those with aspirations to improv/stand-up, this would be a GREAT test of your acting/timing/deadpan skills).
With that in mind, IF you believe you are a good actor, appear skeptical but open, and say that you’re willing to listen if they’re willing to explain EXACTLY why they’re CA/A, why it is completely logical, why theism is not, etc etc etc…in full, complete, and exacting detail.  Then, while they’re talking, pretend to be listening by nodding your head at regular intervals and going “Mmm…” and “MmmHmmm…” and the like, and when they’re FINALLY done (and this is the KEY part)…pause BRIEFLY, appear slightly confused, look at them and say “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

5/10/16:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/mclaughlin-group/n9987

10/16/16: “…it looks like the video or page you’re looking for seems to have disappeared – or maybe it never existed to begin with.” I don’t know if they’re trying to make a ‘1984’-type joke or not, but it’s funny either way. (housekeeping)

The Faculty (1998)

Alien invasion movie, similar to ‘The Puppet Masters’ in some respects.

Cool in the beginning, but as the story begins to unfold, you see the “layers” of it…which are pretty obvious and shallow, so it gets more stupid/cliche as it goes along.

Decent cast (check out Frodo in high school), ok FX…mildly interesting for fans of alien movies.  Useless otherwise.

Highlight: Jon Stewart plays a “menacing” alien, which to me is by FAR the funniest part of the movie.

Grade: D

SOMAD – The First Antitheist (Episode 1 – The Greeting)

“So…SOMAD…what’s up?”

*SOMAD* “”Up” is an adverb.
Meanings are as follows in order of relevance: 1) Away from the
center of the Earth or other planet; in opposite direction to the
downward pull of gravity. 2)Thoroughly, completely. 3) North.
4) Louder. 5) Higher in pitch. 6) Traditional term for the direction leading to the principle terminus, towards LAUNCH POINT EAR…*PAUSE* towards milepost zero. 7) A preposition indicating pos…”

“Ummm…no, I meant…like, how are you doing?”

(Really…interesting!  He’s mad as non-existent fictional location created by mankind, and he’s not gonna take it anymore!!)

-Puppy >.< Yip!