Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

The Comic Strip Presents – Episode 1 (Five Go Mad In Dorset)

Worthy of Note:
lashings
brilliant observations
young French
young Saunders
twittiness worthy of Peckinpah’s ‘Salad Days’
George the dyke
queerness

Fairly amusing, especially if you like British comedy in general.  And it’s got French and SAUN-ders…SAUN-ders…bop be do be wah!

The Devil’s Carnival (2012)

So many different ways to mock this, where do I start…

Somewhat creepy and dark.  As such, a bit like ‘Lo’.  But I don’t anticipate watching this again once, let alone three times.  Because it’s most like the parts of ‘Lo’ I really didn’t like…if you enjoyed the songs/faces/arty touches from ‘Lo’, you might like this.  If you enjoyed ‘Lo’ because it was, at heart, a touching true romance, you’ll probably find this quite tedious.

It’s not a throwaway…a lot of care/planning obviously went into this.  Which makes it that much more disappointing that it fails to deliver much of anything except admittedly great imagery and boring, generic weirdness.

You don’t laugh with it, but you might laugh at it, if you don’t turn it off first.

My only consolation is the glimmering hope that I may live long enough for these works of brilliant songform to pass into the public domain.

Highlights: Being reminded briefly of ‘Lo’, and fervently hoping the woman with massive cleavage would be selected as a player. 

SPOILER ALERT: She isn’t.

Three “Sins” apparently punished: Greed, Suicide, and Trust.  HUH?

Inspirational Quote: “PRICK…PRICK…PRICK…PRICK…PRICK…PRICK…”

Grade: D-

Bong Of The Dead (2011)

I spent the majority of this movie trying to think of how to describe how bad it is.  I couldn’t think of anything clever.  I blame it on the movie, because there’s absolutely nothing clever in the movie.  Nothing.  Thank God for the time lapses.

Lone bright spot for me: woman looking vaguely like Jennifer Tilly.

Greatest moment of terrified suspense: “Will they show that guy’s a$$ crack or not?”

Grade: F-

Fawlty Towers – Episode 12 (Basil The Rat)

Highs:
the scavenger gourmet
chef’s quick prayer
two dead pigeons
oinky pig-e-ons
Siberian hamster
Franco’s rat policy
popular Bubonic Plague
The bleedin’ obvious
domesticated Sybil
gangs of field mice
undead Basil
sleep discount
haunting “rat departure” theme
fermenting pigeons
cheering up, for Christ’s sake
Sybil finishing Basil’s depression monologue
Major bothering
stealthy Major with gun
Basil-seek
homing rat
“He’s from Barcelona…”
wine dropping
cat celebration
random plates of veal
fiance’s legs
eal
Japo-Scandinavian substitute
dandered up
free rat
Basil-dragging

Lows:
picture-pushing
convenient meat spillage
bomb scare?

Grade: A (Great ending)

Fawlty Towers – Episode 11 (The Anniversary)

Highs:
“Ode To Joy”
simmering Sybil
Basil’s memory
the smell of burning martyr
costly oil
Agincourt?
bump-smoothing
“She’s uhh umm”
good look by the dentist
Polly’s legs
slightly serious
slightly like Sybil
Pollyjacking
very quick heart attack
Major re-route
lots of waving
Basil’s sad chat with Sybil
Polly discipline
“Oh, I know…”
coincidental/concealed Sybil
kitchen melee

Lows:
Basil brush
too much Manuel interlude

Grade: A-

Fawlty Towers – Episode 10 (The Kipper And The Corpse)

Highs:
lumbered with the people
breathing attempts
Quite…
managing to struggle down
Basil’s lightly-buttered kipper rant
woman’s work never delegated
Basil’s breakfast delivery rant
hitting guests
Basil’s kipper rant
death celebration
a bit of it
BLOODY final
Basil’s hotel rant
recurrent kipper
cheerful over guest’s death
recurrent kipper
2 dead, 25 to go
noisy cupboard
fortunate key
Basil’s crush/Manuel’s dance
“Oh, I know…”
off guard
fly attraction
screaming radio
bothersome corpse
Doctor wanting sausages
explaining to Manuel
women doing it
not much
Manuel in a basket (part 2)
ending

Lows:
dog FX
unusually nasty Polly
Polly’s stalling
Basil’s stalling
guest-smothering

Grade: A

Fawlty Towers – Episode 9 (Waldorf Salad)

Highs:
in-depth salad examination
bothersome lambs
bloody rubbish
out of waldorfs
Waldorf Salad
walnuts, cheese…
Ritz Salad
the celery front
a$$-busting
Waldorf Salad repossession
letter from the chef, read aloud
Basil ranting at himself
a place in Eastbourne
Basil gets his comeuppance
Basil’s ending rant
the origins of Nazi Germany
mass eviction attempt
Basil in the rain
Basil’s final order

Lows:
slow intro
line mistake

Grade: B+

Fawlty Towers – Episode 8 (The Psychiatrist)

Highs:
Basil enjoying himself
Sybil’s charming vampirism
managing it 2 or 3 times a week
turning on the nipple
wall testing
door testing
cigarette testing
more wall testing
window testing
left to it
broom testing
hinge testing
Basil standing up to Sybil
contorted hopping

Lows:
lowering the boom mic
Basil failing his “break down doors” roll
moments of tedium

Grade: B-

Fawlty Towers – Episode 7 (Communication Problems)

Highs:
Casey
C.K. Watt (Age 40)
hovering Sybil
closed avenue of pleasure
view confirmation
Sydney Opera House/Hanging Gardens of Babylon
sea location
Cleese doing the volume gag the Pythons always wanted to
piece of brain
bat up the nightdress
Flying Tart
“I know nothing”
head usage
semi-strip
vivisectionist trip
quick mourn, faint, and recovery
Basil’s thrill of victory
Basil’s agony of defeat

Lows:
Major talking to himself
Polly’s final paper confusion
Polly knowing about the battery comment when she couldn’t
nitwit
most of the horse charades
Basil’s brief explosion

Grade: B

Fawlty Towers – Episode 6 (The Germans)

Highs:
mounted toenail
“precise” racism
ingrown tongue
english-speaking moosehead
Manuel safely locked in with the fire
God abuse
Fawlty’s Gumby look
nurse of unknown origin
“My God you’re ugly…”
something wrong vs. German
meat explanation
“Don’t mention the war”
something to drink before the war
all differences forgotten
no need to mention the war
Hitler, Himmler, all that lot
hors d’ouevres which must be obeyed at all times
persistent Nazi references
invading Poland
Fawlty’s Hitler
funny walk
Fawlty’s escape
naughty moose

Lows:
racism
too-long alarm routine

Grade: A- (That’s got it)

Fawlty Towers – Episode 5 (Gourmet Night)

Highs:
smack on head
little piranha fish
vats of wine
strung highly
trough w/ dead dogs
nothing trivial
seeking Mrs. Hall
too small and dry
dream test
the eternal plate change
duck-throwing
car abuse
thrashing the car
duck-searching

Lows:
mother’s overacting
a bit of Cleese overacting
entertainment

Grade: B (Getting there…)

Fawlty Towers – Episode 1 (A Touch Of Class)

Highs:
Basil’s driving advice
Brahms’ “Third Racket”
list-fetching
non-traditional wall
polite hurrying
kiss-aversion
ineffective forbiddance
Basil’s free kick

Lows:
Cleese’s acting seeming a bit forced at times
Basil sucking up
overdone slapstick
“dramatic” turn
Basil’s lack of common sense

Observation:  If this series wasn’t the inspiration (at least in part) for ‘Black Books’, I’ll eat a Waldorf Salad.

Grade: C+

The Ren & Stimpy Show – Episode 7 (Ren’s Toothache/Rubber Nipple Salesman)

Highs:
toothpaste scum collection
The Tooth Beaver
cute pile of tooth
disgusted flies
The Nerve-Ending Fairy!
$400 of lint
new logs
Stimpy’s divine light
the wonders of Stimpy’s nipples
circus-midget defense
ultra-paranoid horse
one mistake
two more mistakes?
big nipple
rubber walrus protectors
rubber nipple check
nipple advancement
1001 nipple uses
knee nipples
Stooges’ bull ending

Lows:
just a few intermittent lulls

Grade: A

The Ren & Stimpy Show – Episode 6 (Black Hole/Stimpy’s Invention)

Highs:
one last alternative
random weird stuff
repugnant and delicious
alternate universe left socks
High-Fashion Log for girls!
Dream-date Log
Ren’s slight outburst
electric beaver
electric duck
Stimpy’s fifth latest invention
happiness resistance
SO…HAPPY…
“Happy Happy Joy Joy”

Lows:
underwear
slow implosion
The Log song…I mean, enough already.
Stimpy’s first latest invention
part 2 ending

Grade: B

The Ren & Stimpy Show – Episode 5 (Marooned/Untamed World)

Highs:
flaccid rocket
cool noises
convenient moon
My Little Brother doll
A DUCK!
elusive horny-billed chihuahua
giant soft-shelled stimpy
little stimpys
scavenger attack
keen sense of radar
slow-motion magic
the art of camouflage
terrible, fearsome crocostimpy
haunting mating call
the … yak
nature-show-host attraction

Lows:
part 1 recycling…again…already
part 1 ending (and some of the middle)
part 2 ending

Grade: B

The Ren & Stimpy Show – Episode 4 (Fire Dogs/The Littlest Giant)

Highs:
circus midgets
big baby
big horse
Mr. Horse’s carefully considered reaction
big walrus w/little hat
big elephant
the eternal ladder
burning up on re-entry
soothing litter
Log…for girls!
really close moon
repulsive titanicism
lots of anything

Lows:
Dr. Stupid
part 1 intro
part 1 ending (notice a pattern here?)
part 2 intro…recycling already?
most of part 2, actually.

Grade: B-

The Ren & Stimpy Show – Episode 3 (Space Madness/The Boy Who Cried Rat)

Highs:
anti-gravity bubblegum
spine-tingling toast
Ren snapping
convenient statue
Ren’s ice cream bar
covetething
THE HISTORY ERASER BUTTON!
voiceover announcer
in-the-scene announcer
announcer’s buttcheeks
hard-working filth
electric woodchuck
nibbling on Ren
Yak-Shaving Day
shaving scum

Lows:
part 1 intro
Roger
towel-snapping
toothbrush melee
part 2 intro
part 2 sketch ending

Grade: B+

The Ren & Stimpy Show – Episode 2 (Robin Hoek/Nurse Stimpy)

Highs:
Powdered Toast Man!
huge pectoral muscles
lower-Stimpy buttoning
melon/chicken/moose
cheerleaders/criminally insane
poor-turned-rich fleeing peasant
evil cow
evil sheriff of Dodge City
fair hair
generous portion of giblet gravy
random sheep
nose-pouch of holding
spleen-cleansing
Ren’s defensive fur
random Mr. Horse

Lows:
too many costume changes
Rarin to go/lickity split
monks?
part 1 ending
the oath
part 2 beginning
part 2 ending

Grade: B

The Ren & Stimpy Show – Episode 1 (Stimpy’s Big Day/The Big Shot)

Highs:
Log
Stimpy’s brain
Muddy Mudskipper
mudskipping
segmented eyes!
The many benefits of Gritty Kitty
hand-eating
Stimpy’s poem/shriek of joy
Stimpy-grooming
fresh redundancy
a priiiiiiiiiiiize!
Mr. Horse!
Mr. Horse’s catchphrase
magnificent hunk of cat
cute masochism

Lows:
contest-winning scene
Ren’s pining (not for the fjords)
Stimpy’s omnipresence/breakdown

Grade: A

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)

The credits announce the introduction of Edward Furlong.  ‘American History X’, seven years later, announces the farewell of Edward Furlong, for legitimate movie purposes.

From the very beginning, you can tell that this sequel has something the original was completely lacking in: humor.  That is, INTENTIONAL humor.

Special FX are excellent, the complete role-reversal for Arnold is at the same time amusing and compelling, it’s not nearly as cheezy, and it’s aged a lot better.

But it’s still just a fairly fun-to-watch sci-fi-ish action flick, and it’s certainly not as good as the best of the genre, such as Cameron’s ‘Aliens’, which also featured (a different) “The Company”.

Grade: B-

Deep Purple

Machine Head (1972)

Forget everything else, including anything calling itself “Greatest” or “Best”.  This is their best, and it contains their only sizeable hit worth owning (“Hush” is a novelty).  It also contains a few other good songs.  “A few” being enough, given that there are only seven songs on the album.
(“Maybe I’m A Leo”, “Space Truckin'”)

Grade: B+

Goodfellas (1990)

Henry Hill and friends.

Pesci is amazing, DeNiro is great as usual, Liotta’s good, and the supporting cast is good.  “Truth is stranger than fiction”…sometimes, I guess.  But sometimes truth is exciting and sometimes truth is just kinda fcken dull…therefore, so is this movie.

But it’s great more often than it is dull, and that’s enough.

One comment, though…it’s REALLY sad when someone like Henry Hill, a womanizing drug addict who thought it was great to “live by the sword” but who ratted out his “friends” so he wouldn’t “die by the sword”, is looked upon by some as ANY kind of hero: tragic, flawed, or otherwise.

Inspirational Scene:  Do I have to say it?  He’s a funny guy.

Grade: A-

Perennial Halloween Wishes

For those of you that celebrate All Hallows’ Eve/Samhain in a religious sense, happy Holiday.

For those of you that celebrate Halloween in a party/dressup/trick-or-treat/scary movies sense, have a good time.

For those few that (having reached adulthood, especially) still affix any ‘Crow’-ish notions and/or actions to this evening, I suggest watching the following and then laughing at yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPLWbTh9_Nk

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – One of the best bits in the history of TKITH. Further installments available, sequels not as good as original.