Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

Dances With Wolves (1990)

For once, Kevin Costner’s achievement equals his grand vision.  Unlike most of his pretentious “epics”, this doesn’t seem to go on way too long.

For those few recluses that don’t know already, it’s a very non-romanticized (from the European-American perspective) depiction of “How the West was won”:  not just through brave pioneering, but also by (let’s be honest) grand theft.

While the length isn’t a problem, there are parts that lag…but for the most part, this is a brilliant film.

Interesting to see, in particular, how similar ancient wisdoms can be.

Inspirational Quote: “And the only word that came to mind was ‘Harmony’.”

Grade: A

Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead (2006)

Hopefully this isn’t the chicken of tomorrow.

It’s a Troma film.  If you don’t know, that means it’s really low budget, really tasteless, and really cheezy.  But it does have some wit to it, in an appallingly disgusting sort of way.

To measure your tolerance level, watch ‘Dead Alive’ first.  If you can get through that, try ‘Hobo With A Shotgun’.  If you like BOTH…then try this, if you also don’t mind some nudity and tasteless (if somewhat witty) musical interludes.  And, let’s be honest…if you’ve got nothing better to do.

Inspirational Quote: “Shhh…you had me from “sh1t-covered mongoloid”.”

Grade: C-

American Beauty (1999)

Kevin Spacey is completely brilliant, as he usually is.

It’s very cleverly written, and because of that it makes you feel. 

It makes you feel sadness, loneliness, humor, desperation, longings for things past and long gone, brief moments of exhilaration…the same way the characters do.

But the characters seem to exist simply for this purpose.

They’re not very multi-dimensional at all…but in order for a movie to exist, there have to be characters.  So they do what they do, and you feel what you feel, and you think what you think…messages sent, points made, mission accomplished.

So it’s brilliant…but in the end, it all feels just a little bit empty.  And all the messages and points it makes fade away from your memory and emotion almost as quickly as they arrived, making them irrelevant. 

But that doesn’t mean it’s not fun to watch.  And it’s quite a glow, while it lasts.

Inspirational Quote: “Sometimes there’s so much…beauty…in the world…I feel like I can’t take it…and my heart…is just going to cave in.”

Grade: A-

Exchange of the Day (Part 2)

“Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.”

“A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous
animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody
knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five
hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were
alone on this planet. Imagine what you’ll know tomorrow.”

– MIB

Beauty And The Beast (1991)

The reason I avoid most Disney movies is quite simple: the songs.

I realize that such movies are made mainly for children, and that the songs’ simple melodies and simple portents/character sketches are good for short attention spans…but for me they are, at best, tolerable interludes between scenes from the actual movie.

So for me to willingly sit through them, the story has to be very interesting, and the songs have to be…well, kept to a minimum.  And at least of the “tolerable” variety.

This story is extremely interesting.  It’s simple enough for pretty much anyone to understand, but it’s not “childish”…a source of child-like wonder, if anything.  And I’m not so jaded that I’ve completely lost that part of myself.

Interesting, and somewhat heartwarming…but a few touches overly dramatic and simplistic.

And the SONGS…sigh.  Tolerable, but what a waste of time.

Inspirational Quote: “Allo.”

Grade: B

Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)

Has aged beautifully.

Why?  Because it was dated when it first came out.  It was SUPPOSED to be dated, it was SUPPOSED to be derivative…of all the things Lucas loved watching as a kid.  Nothing more, nothing less.

And it is a complete success at that.  It’s got action, adventure, thrills, chills, explosions, chases, true love (well, sort of).  In that way, it’s sort of like a less-funny, less-romantic, but much more EXCITING ‘Princess Bride’.

I loved it the first time, when I was seven.  I loved it the fiftieth time almost as much.

Grade: A

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Morgan Freeman is absolutely brilliant, both as the narrator and a prisoner. 

Tim Robbins’ performance is like nothing I’ve seen him do before or since…Andy Dufresne is a monument of resiliency, ingenuity, and complete determination. 

The idea and script are brilliant and the whole “experience” is compelling.  A true cinematic achievement.

Parts of this are extraordinarily moving and/or extraordinarily sad…films that actually make me SAY “Wow…”…not just think it…are quite rare.

The warden and the head guard are pure sadists that hide behind the Bible, but there’s nothing Christian about them.  MUST be pure fiction, of course…I mean, people in positions of power flagrantly and sadistically abusing their power???  Some of the guards are very decent people…in all seriousness, both things are just as completely believable.

The effectiveness of patience and humility over pride. 

Epic.

Inspirational Quote: “Some birds aren’t meant to be caged.  Their feathers are just too bright.  And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice.  But still…the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone.”

Grade: A+

6/12/14: Thinking back to it, and on it, the roof scene seems a bit contrived.  The dialogue seems weak during the exchange and the guard’s performance is wooden.  That’s always sort of bugged me, and I think it’s bad enough to make me alter my grade.  Still a great movie, but it could’ve used just a tiny bit more polish to the script.  Grade: A

8/8/14: Robbins holds his own with Morgan Freeman. By the
middle I can’t even remember the tarring scene. Good enough for me.

Epic. And thank you for making me cry, again.

IQ2: “There’s something…inside…that they can’t get to, that they can’t touch. That’s yours.”

Grade: A+

Today’s Contestant – Puppy Specialty Subject – The Bleedin’ Obvious

Sorry to break some hearts, but…

There will ALWAYS be atheists.

There will ALWAYS be theists.

Those, ladies and gentlemen, are the facts.

The world will reach the next stage of “evolution” when BOTH sides have shed their fanatics.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Twilight Zone – Episode 80 (A Quality Of Mercy)

Message: “Don’t be as bad as the Japanese”.

What an offensive, racist, propagandist crock of sh1t.  At least when the Stooges made their anti-Japanese commentaries we were actually STILL AT WAR.

And God has nothing to do with war.  War is a human construct.

Alternate Title: ‘Episode 10 – Propaganda Day’

4/15/16: I expect better from Rod Serling, he was usually right on/ahead of his time.

Rain Man (1988)

Dustin Hoffman’s performance is impressive.

Tom Cruise’s…not so much.

He plays a cold, somewhat robotic, emotionally stunted arrogant a$$hole. 

And, from his performances since then, this doesn’t appear to be too much of a stretch for him.

Great story, could have been a great movie…but the acting isn’t always up to the task (excepting Hoffman) and the script could have used one more re-write.

Inspirational Quote: “No…could you repeat it cuz I, I can’t believe my fcken ears.”

Grade: B

All The Attention The “Existence/Non-Existence” Argument Deserves

Better than a chat with your typical anti-theist.  And at least something gets decided.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfRkcJ0BLS0

-Puppy/Python

10/28/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – See text above, and…it’s a really funny Python bit, worth watching.

Why I’m Glad I’m Flawed

*Spock* It would seem that NOMAD is now seeking “perfect” life forms…perfection being measured by its own relentless logic.
…
*NOMAD* “What is the meaning.”
*Uhura* “What?”
*NOMAD* “What form of communication.”
*Uhura* “I dunno what he…oh…singing, I was singing.”
*NOMAD* “For what purpose is singing.”
*Uhura* “I dunno…I like to sing…I felt like music.”
*NOMAD* “What is music.  Think about music.”
…
*Kirk* “What’d you do to her?”
*NOMAD* “That unit is defective. Its thinking is chaotic.  Absorbing it unsettled me.”
*Spock* “That “unit”…is a woman.”
*NOMAD* “A mass of conflicting impulses.”

– Star Trek, ‘The Changeling’

Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic (2005)

The most impressive thing about this stand-up routine with little bits of skit and moderate bits of song is that the level of tastelessness makes Louis C.K. look like Brian Regan.

The second most impressive thing is that Silverman remains deadpan throughout.

The third most impressive thing is that it’s still not nearly as funny as Louis C.K.

It is pretty good, though…if you don’t mind tasteless. (See quote for litmus test).

Inspirational Quote: “Oh God PLEASE let them find semen in my dead grandmother’s vagina.”

Grade: B-

Deadheads (2011)

Kinda creepy-funny.  At first, at least.

It’s a zombie movie from the zombie perspective.  Sort of like ‘Aaah! Zombies!!’, except this movie tries to be FAR more than it is capable of being.

The influences are obvious (but certainly not bad)…it’s even got a “Dr. Frankenstein”.  No “Bub”, though.  So think ‘Day Of The Dead’, ‘Fido’, ‘Shaun Of The Dead’, ‘Zombieland’…a little bit of each all rolled into one.  The problem is it’s not nearly as good as most of the sources it draws from.

It also features extreme moments of over-acting, many moments of tedium, and way too much drama.  And when I say drama I don’t mean touching interactions…I mean failed hackneyed attempts at touching interactions.

It’s better than most generic zombie sh1t, I’ll give it that, and it might make for interesting viewing if you’re a fan of any movie listed above and want to experience nostalgia, or for comparison purposes.

Inspirational Quote: “I SAID, get his finger out of my face!”

Grade: C-

Bachelor Party In The Bungalow Of The Damned (2008)

Dig the James Bound intro.

Really bad.  Really. 

If you’ve seen every other cheezy “hey-I-made-a-horror” film, I guess this is…the one left.

BUT, if you stick it out, you get to see the director have fun with the credits.

Best parts: Jobs for bad union cameramen, MST3K-worthy script/acting, creepy polite guy.

Inspirational Scene: Finger-milking

Inspirational Quote: “Gimme that lobster.”

Grade: F

While I Have Your Attention…

Something actually INTERESTING:

“Tsunetomo believed that becoming one with death in one’s thoughts, even in life, was the highest attainment of purity and focus. He felt that a resolution to die gives rise to a higher state of life, infused with beauty and grace beyond the reach of those concerned with self-preservation. Some viewed him as a man of immediate action due to some of his quotes, and in the Hagakure he criticized the carefully planned Akō vendetta of the Forty-Seven Ronin (a major event in his lifetime) for its delayed response.” – Wikipedia, Yamamoto Tsunetomo

Faster, Puppycat! Mock, Mock!!

‘First – What is an atheist agenda (and why capitalize atheism)?’

Because that’s proper English usage.

‘If you think that atheism means something other the disbelief in deities’

Ummm…no offense, but…”than” disbelief.  Actually…I take back the “no offense” part.  I say that in an a-offense way.

‘and/or evidence for such you need to reconsider your definitions rather than create strawmen to knock down.’

I’m not a rich man, I’m not a handsome man, I’m not a smart man, I’m not an educated man, I’m not a well-dressed man, I’m not a tall man, I’m not a straw man, I’m not a milk man, I’m not a gingerbread man…

‘Second – Atheism ‘purports’ nothing of the sort, another strawman.’

Hey…why did you capitalize “atheism”?  (See Above)

‘Third – If you want to assign particular beliefs to groups that hold them while also not believing in gods feel free to do so.’

Fifth…

‘Atheism in itself have no more opinion on homosexuality than on ice cream flavors.’

I HATE to be nitpicky, but…”has”.

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.

10/24/12: JUST TO CLARIFY…AGAIN…I am NOT poking fun at this person BECAUSE of their use of language.  As was made clear to me by comments he made regarding my “ganglion”, which I sorta know the definition of but not precisely, his position was this…although he’d never come out and SAY it: “You’re an idiot, I’m really really smart.  Therefore, you are inferior and I can mock you and if you don’t understand, that’s your own fault for being an idiot.  BUT…if you make fun of my incorrect English usage, you’re being mean…” 
Even though ignorance of proper English usage is EXACTLY THE SAME as ignorance of the exact meaning of “ganglion”. 
Point: Intelligence does not grant license to be a jerk.  Noone is “better” because they’re smarter…contrary to what supra-intellectual elitists might WANT you to believe, there are plenty of perfectly reasonable, sensible, intelligent people that are NOT inherently inferior because of their lower IQ’s.  It’s about morality, not MENSA scores.
Or, to quote John Cleese regarding outrage felt by my mocking of ignorance, after I was…mocked…for…ignorance (???!!!): “Do I detect the smell of burning martyr?”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

First Citiwide Antitheist Bank – English 101

‘His is agnostic in the same way as most people who state that they do not believe in a god.’

His what?  His best friend, his dog, his cat, his third cousin, who?

‘Stating that something like a god categorically does not exist is a positive claim.’

“Like” a god?  What’s “like” a god?  A demi-god, someone who looks really old with a long beard, what?

‘Something most people who have thought about this probably would not do.’

That’s not true…plenty of people have stated that god does not exist.  I don’t know if they used the word “categorically” (that’s a good one, btw…try ‘Balance Of Power’), but that statement is not true.

‘You cannot categorically rule one out(any more than elves or mermaids but oh well).’

See, now you’re just being a snarky little a$$.  What looks like a “concession” is in fact intended as a backhanded mockery of anyone that could DARE to believe in ANY sort of supreme being.  So what looks like polite conversation is basically your pretentious, a-holier(I just made that up!)-than-thou way of saying “Anyone that believes in God as anything more than a BARELY possible myth is a MORON”.  THAT is what you just said.  You can frame it elegantly, but it’s the same statement.

‘I do agree with you when you state that you are not clever.’

I’m a clever person who talks loudly in restaurants!!!

‘You are demonstrably daft.’

Did you use “demonstrably” and “daft” together for the supercool “alliteration” effect?  Bravo!

‘I should have perused your previous replies on this page prior to replying to your post.’

Wow…you LOVE alliteration.  You do know that just because you begin 5 words with the same consonant doesn’t make you any more right or less snarky, right?  Just checking.  Here, try this one…”Peter Piper Picked A Peck Of Pickled Peppers”.  Great, huh?

‘I do apologize for the typo and that you were not bright enough to sort it out.’

No, let me splain…a “typo” is when you type something incorrectly…say, for example, a spelling error.  When you completely leave a word or three out, that’s not a “typo”.  That’s a “big fcken mistake”.

‘It should have read “We should not have to define ourselves by what WE do not do or do not believe”‘

De Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Da…The innocence will pull me through.

‘I do not need to describe myself as an a-mermaidist or a-golfer (as I also don’t play golf) or a-elfist.’

Wait…a golfer, or a golfer?  I’m easily confused by small shiny objects.

‘No anger at all.’

Of course not, you’re more of a robot than Joel…what’s your fav, ‘The Changeling’ or ‘The Ultimate Computer’?

‘If anything just the annoyance of using a phone to post.’

So you’re annoyed?  Well…that’s something.  Could I possibly get a “quite put out”?

‘And do feel free to quote me to your heart’s content. Your blog is an expose on you far more
so than anyone you care to quote there.’

THANKS!

-Puppy/Some AtP guy.

How Do I Get Anything Out Of This? The Answer Is Simple…VOLUME.

‘He does not like the baggage that others assign to a particular “ism”.’ (Neil deGrasse Tyson)

Said baggage, in this case, is “getting angry and in-other-peoples-faces about atheism”.  That is the baggage he so desperately wants to avoid, because he can’t STAND people like that.

‘Listen to 2:35 on which is where he makes his case.’

So the previous 2:34 he was just babbling for no apparent reason, and should be ignored?

‘Earlier he states there is no evidence for a god which is good enough for most of us.’

That is incorrect.  Unless by “us” you mean atheists/anti-theists.  If you mean “us” as I believe you do, talking about people in general, that is a false statement, since the majority of people DO NOT believe there is “no evidence for a god”.  Whether I agree with that or not is irrelevant…your statement is false.  Or, as Joel might say: “NON-SEQUITUR.  YOUR FACTS ARE UN-COORDINATED.”

‘That he does not want ignorant theists or atheists to make assumptions about anything further than his position on the lack of evidence for a god is rather diplomatic.’

What the fck are you talking about?  Wow…I need to read ‘Atlas Shrugged’ now, to make sure the world NEVER, EVER falls into your hands.

‘The world is rife with fools’

Why is it that you like to use the word “rife”, but you lack basic writing skills?  Is it some sort of over-compensation for a perceived inadequacy?

‘who assume all sorts of idiotic things from a simple declaration regarding non-belief in fairy tales.’

Who assume that because he says “I’m Agnostic”, that means “I’m Agnostic”.  Oh yeah…that’s really idiotic.  I don’t know what came over me.  He CLEARLY meant something else.  And you, of course, know what “Agnostic” means more than he does…because quite clearly, your mind is superior to Neil deGrasse Tyson’s. 

‘He is quite right when he says the concept of atheism should not exist.’

Hey!  You converted!  Great…I thought you were gonna be an angsty antitheist forever, but this is quite a sudden turnaround.  So what faith are you, now that you’ve disavowed atheism?

‘We should not have to define ourselves by what do not do or do not believe in.’

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.

‘In other words he’s as much an a-theist as he is a non-golfer.’

What if he golfs?  Nice game, golf…get out in the sun, really pleasant…ahhhh…

DISCLAIMER: For those who may be wondering, the sarcastic comments concerning this guy’s improper English usage are NOT “because” he doesn’t type very well.  It just so HAPPENS that he doesn’t type very well, and I am making sarcastic comments about that because he’s a pretentious wanker.  Thank you.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Wiccan Agenda – Satire By Puppy

I was, of course, aware of the Homosexual Agenda, in which the world’s homosexual population plans to clandestinely infiltrate all of society, until they show ‘Glee’ on every channel and the only legal music is show tunes.  Thanks to Das But for alerting me to this.

However, I’ve recently been informed of an even MORE insidious conspiracy…

AtP’s Joel (He’s not stoned, he’s just really tired) recently imparted this bit of wisdom to me:

“…the reason there haven’t been any Wiccan despots in history is because Wicca is a relatively recent invention.”

It made me think…he’s RIGHT…it all adds up.

So remain vigilant, one and all…next thing you know, our forests will cease to be indiscriminately razed, our soil will cease being contaminated, Nature in general will be respected and treated with dignity, and EVERYONE will live together in peace and harmony, allowing for complete personal freedom without causing harm to any other individual.

“It’s SCARY…it’s SCARY!”

Thanks Joel, GREAT idea…

-Puppy >.< Yip!

“And he just goes ON and ON and ON…”

‘deGrasse Tyson just made the same mistake he was railing against, by ascribing characteristics to a group because of a label.’

So you’re saying that ascribing characteristics to a group because of a label (atheist, agnostic, catholic, jewish, muslim, etc) is a, and I quote, “mistake”?.  So why do you do it, exactly?

‘Calling oneself an atheist doesn’t mean anything about how vocal you are about it.’

True.  But by creating a page aimed at ACTIVELY opposing religion that sort of indicates you’re fairly vocal about it(although you seem to be somewhat confused over the difference between speech and writing since you accused me of “slander”)…putting yourself squarely in the camp of those that deGrasse Tyson (someone your page “Likes”) clearly finds so far beneath his attention that to even ANSWER the question posed to him made him look pained and exasperated.

‘Agnosticism isn’t a middle ground between atheism and theism. There are theistic agnostics and atheistic agnostics.’

A “theistic agnostic” is actually pretty close to the middle…do you need me to look up the word “middle” for you?  I mean, unless you mean the EXACT middle…or is that the median…errr…I dunno, I’m not as smart as you are and I sometimes get my facts un-co-ordinated. 

NON-SEQUITIR…NON-SEQUITIR…I am NOMAD I am perfect…oops.

‘Both you and Neil need to go back to Philosophy 101’

You’re saying that YOU are so much smarter than respected astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson that he doesn’t even know the first thing about what he’s talking about compared to you?

I actually like Philosophy 101, btw…it’s fun and educational without being Ayn-Randian in its snobbery.

‘maybe part of the reason there haven’t been any Wiccan despots in history is because Wicca is a relatively recent invention.’

You’re suggesting there’s a clear and present danger of a Wiccan despot in the near future?  What will they do, FORCE everyone to respect nature and live together in peace and harmony, respecting freedom unless it hurts anyone else in any way?  B@STARDS!!!!!!

Your take on my Wicca question is like Silverchair’s take on Pearl Jam – Sounds KINDA ok, but really dumb and kinda laughable when you really pay attention. 

“Wa-ter out of tap is…*RIFF RIFF* Ver-y hard to driiiiiiiiinnnnk…”

‘But besides that, your point is retarded.’

My point is “retarded”?  Are you saying that my point is physically or mentally disabled, are you making light of physical and mental retardation, or are you just in an angsty tizzy?

‘You may as well ask how many despots didn’t have mustaches for all the difference it makes.’

How many despots DIDN’T have moustaches??? Hmmm…interesting point you make…

‘Your post wasn’t humour until you decided to try to awkwardly portray it as so. It certainly wasn’t satire, in fact I don’t think you even know the meaning of the word.’

Yes it was…let me show you- “satire (n): A literary technique of writing or art which principally ridicules its subject often as an intended means of provoking or preventing change. Humour is often used to aid this.”  So you see, you ARE a joke, even if you don’t get it.  Kiss kiss.

‘Your arrogant, self-righteous, attention-whoring bullsh1t is no way to win friends and influence people. Go back to your hole in the ground.’

D@MN…I watched the wrong video…let me see…here it is…’How To Irritate People’.  Oh well…at least I got to watch some early Cleese.

Wait a second…go back to my hole in the ground? I thought you said, just yesterday…”keep posting”?  Are you rational on alternate days, do you mark certain days on your calendar, what?

Just in case you don’t know…

Propaganda (n): A concerted set of messages aimed at influencing the opinions or behavior of large numbers of people.

Famous propagandists in history:  Well…just about every dictator, really.

-Puppy >.< Yip!