Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

Interesting Info – ‘Jar Of Flies’

“…According to Staley, the title for the album came
from a science experiment Cantrell conducted in third
grade: “They gave him two jars full of flies. One of
the jars they overfed, the other jar they underfed.
The one they overfed flourished for a while, then all
the flies died from overpopulation. The one they
underfed had most of the flies survive all year.
I guess there’s a message in there somewhere.
Evidently that experiment had a big impact on Jerry.”…”

Wikipedia

Cheers – Episode 38 (Cliff’s Rocky Moment)

Highs:
Diane’s vague stirring memories
Sam’s thinking cap
Diane’s football strategies
real men + Cliff
Diane V. football
Cliff’s muscle
Mountain Lily V. Black-Eyed Susan
DING!
Louis’s change of heart
karate
Carla’s belief
Sam’s non-over-acting
ending

Lows:
Cliff’s laugh
guest star’s over-acting

Grade: A-

The Naked Gun (1988)

It’s basically a really long, really good ‘Police Squad’ episode. 

The writing/supporting cast are both upped a bit…if you hate complete nonsense, you’ll hate this.  But if you appreciate it, this is a very fine example of how complete nonsense can be funny.  It’s not quite to the level of ‘Airplane’, but close.

Tedious: Baseball song sequence, attempt at a “romantic” scene near the end.

Inspirational Quote: “And where the hell was I?”

Grade: B+

Natural Born Killers (1994)

With Tarantino involved, you knew it had to be really well-made sh1t.

Lots of cool cuts and one-liners and flashbacks and flashforwards and flasharounds and aspirations beyond the wonderful nonsense that has been proven to be his limit over and over again.

And it is.

But with Oliver Stone involved, you kinda figured it would rise above that.

But it doesn’t.

He called this a “positive” film???  Because you can go on an insane killing spree and not necessarily get gunned down at the end?  So aspiring serial killers and ultra-anarchists…there’s hope?  What horsesh1t.

Supposedly there’s some good “messages” here…like, violence is bad.  And, people that condemn violence and are supposedly horrified by it, yet pay to see it, hear about it, read about it, etc…are a bunch of stupid hypocrites.  Yeah no sh1t, Oliver.  I didn’t need to see this to know that.  And guess what?  NOONE who watches this who DIDN’T know that will LEARN that.  Either they’re too fcken stupid, or they don’t CARE in the first place.  I mean, you say so yourself in the script…you know, the snake story?

Also, there’s an anti-mass-media message, which is pushed so hard along with the violence that the whole thing comes across as camp, lowering it to the level of ‘Hobo’ or ‘Troll 2’ or ‘Manos’, except Oliver Stone is a REAL director and these are REAL actors making a worthless pile of sh1t masterpiece.

And hey Oliver…you’re condemning glorification of violence and the mass media by remaking ‘Bonnie and Clyde’, except fake?  Right…

Like so many other similarly violent and/or disturbing movies, most of the people willing and/or eager to sit through this don’t care about anything Oliver’s trying to say.  They’re watching this because they’re sick fcks, inside or out, or both, and they enjoy it.  Period.

Me, I’m done.  Fck em.

Grade: C

Cheers – Episode 22 (Show Down: Part 2)

Highs:
gentle beavers
fair apathy
Bobby and Susie
two boilermakers, Wild Turkey and Bud
slow Thursday
Sam and Derek
sore buns
Coach’s monologue
Cliff’s plea
goodbye/goodbye/goodbye/goodbye…
romance discussion
mutual disgust
door crowd
nibble discussion

Lows:
Recycled Chuck
Recycled Part 1
blackboard torture
silence inability
a bit of overacting

Grade: A-

The X Agenda

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/03/skittles-bestiality-ad_n_1737249.html

Ok, so I suppose this is sort of like the “Homosexual Agenda”, where every homosexual is part of a vast conspiracy to paint everything rainbow?

Come on…in every case, good bad or neutral or anywhere in between, it’s the person, not the idea.

Bombard a decent person with terrible horror movies (Believe me, I know, if you’ve read some of my movie reviews) and it won’t turn them psycho.

Give a psycho the slightest provocation, or even none at all…they’ll make one up…and they’ll do fcked up sh1t.

I mean, are we gonna ban dogs after “Son of Sam”?

And I agree…this definitely does not make me want to have sex with a walrus.  Or eat Skittles.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Cheers – Episode 7 (Friends, Romans And Accountants)

Highs:
Elizabethan Poet Night
confused Coach in sea of accountants
one-woman charades
801
THE PHONE
a good beating

Lows:
Norman Exposition
Seeing Norm in a toga
limbo time
frozen hallelujah
casual attitude toward sexual assault
ending

Grade: B


11/24/14: Upon further review, not as good. Grade: C+

Cheers – Episode 1 (Pilot: Give Me A Ring Sometime)

Highs:
military brat
mime class
Magnificent Pagan Beast
close call
surprise hooker
sweat contest
advance apology
Diane’s first laugh

Lows:
Plenty of kinks to be worked out
too much Basil Exposition
too much pretension
too much too soon from Carla
Sam and Diane trying too hard

Grade: C

8/1/13: I think I was a little too hard on it because I was hoping it would be great.  Nostalgia – it’s good and it’s bad.  Grade: C+

The 1st Annual Sort Of Near The 2nd Anniversary Celebration

I’d just like to thank everyone that made this possible…me, my friends, people that like reading my little posts, people that randomly stumble upon it and don’t care, people that come here to make fun of it thereby driving up my hit count, and finally people that made fun of it and said noone would visit it, thereby inspiring me to make it at least SLIGHTLY successful to serve, in part, as a constant, faint, irritating reminder in the manner of mild rectal itch.

Thank you!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1996)

Not a bad episode of MST3K. 

But the shorts were always better than the movies.  And the studio bits are over-done and less-funny without TV’s Frank.

“Ok…see now, what separates the Metalunans, from like, “Hollywood” aliens, ok, is that that they have like they have huge heads, alright…ok, now now I don’t mean they have big egos, ok, cuz they don’t, alright…I mean their actual HEADS…are huge, alright…I mean they have to sleep sitting up, ok…like the Elephant Man, or they’ll die, alright…”

Grade: B-

1/30/13: Better the more I watch it.  Grade: B

Devil In The Flesh (1998)

Having not seen all of the films in her illustrious collection (I missed ‘Encino Man’, and ‘Conan The Barbarian’ seemed a bit beyond me intellectually) I can’t be certain, but after watching this I would say that I am pretty much convinced that Rose McGowan is a very very pretty, attractive, fashionable non-actress.

Grade: F

Analyze This (1999)

It was a lot funnier the first time I saw it, when it first came out…because back then, DeNiro doing his best DeNiro impression (from serious, violent films) was a relatively new and fresh idea.  I thought it was hilarious.

But you can only do the same joke so many times before it gets old.  And let’s face it, DeNiro’s done it plenty of times since then.  But even with that being said, I still really like this movie because DeNiro’s deadpan delivery of lines he knows are meant to be funny and self-effacing rivals that of Leslie Nielsen in ‘Airplane!’ and Idle/Cleese in the best ‘Flying Circus’ sketches.

And the comedy that’s intrinsic with self-parody is a great contrast to the extremely serious things that are happening…you know, people getting killed and all.

Dr. Sobel’s psychiatry is a bit out-of-date at this point, but Crystal does a good job holding his own.

Inspirational Exchange: The Fcken Doctor V. Primo Sindone

Grade: A-

Same-Day Edit: Nah…too hokey.  In too many places.  Grade: B

Online Translator

“I don’t know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it’s
his property, it’s his dog…If that’s what he wants to
do, do it. I think people should mind their business…”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinton_Portis

“I know a lot of back roads that have the dog
fighting if you want to go see it.” – Clinton Portis

“In the recent interview I gave concerning dog
fighting, I want to make it clear I do not take
part in dog fighting or condone dog fighting in
any manner.”
– Clinton Portis via Redskins damage control

Translation: “I don’t give a fck about dogs, really…
but people that aren’t as much of a dumba$$ as I am
told me that if I don’t send out this message
pretending I do care at least a tiny bit, I’ll stop
getting so much money from contracts and
endorsements.” – Puppy >.< Yip!

4/12/16: *OPINION…OPINION…OPINION*

Trains

The ONE thing I like about trains is that when they stop, let people off, let people on, and then get ready to start going again, it very briefly sounds almost exactly like the opening of ‘Land Of The Dead’.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTVDOx35FNg

-Puppy/Monty Python >.< Yip!/Splat

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – This is a decent clip that leads into a much more interesting little frantic, bizarre rant by John Cleese in a very bubbly chair.

10/18/16: Hmm. This particular clip stops after the railway timetables sketch. Not worth your time, really. Though if you can find Cleese in a big blue chair throwing out big words and clever references mixed with nonsense, you’re on to a winner.

7/13/18: The other thing: When you’re going up the escalator after leaving the train, just before reaching the top the sound of the escalator vanishing into the cycle sounds a bit like the pods spewing people as Donald Sutherland takes a short-but-far-too-long nap with unwanted ultra-closeups in ‘Invasion Of The Body Snatchers’. What a sentence.