Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks – Worthy Of Note

Book 1 – The Warlock of Firetop Mountain
Book 3 – The Forest of Doom
Book 5 – City of Thieves
Book 7 – Island of the Lizard King
Book 11 – Talisman of Death
Book 13 – Freeway Fighter
Book 16 – Seas of Blood
Book 17 – Appointment With F.E.A.R.
Book 25 – Beneath Nightmare Castle
Book 36 – Armies of Death
Book 38 – Vault of the Vampire
Book 50 – Return to Firetop Mountain
Book 58 – Revenge of the Vampire

Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks – The Essentials

Book 2 – The Citadel of Chaos
Book 6 – Deathtrap Dungeon
Book 10 – House of Hades (House of Hell)
Book 20 – Sword of the Samurai
Book 21 – Trial of Champions
Book 24 – Creature of Havoc

Above all else, Steve Jackson’s entire “Sorcery!” series (except the spell book), which contains superior writing, superior artwork, and a thoroughly linked story.

Book 1 – The Shamutanti Hills
Book 2 – Khare – Cityport of Traps
Book 3 – The Seven Serpents
Book 4 – The Crown of Kings

Fighting Fantasy Overview

You see kids, in the old days people played RPGs on tables with dice, or on a large cleared-off section of floor with dice and lots of snacks that seem good at the time but are regrettable on the drive home.

Failing this, we had to resort to drastic measures.  One of these was supplied by Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks, which were simplistic enough for children, yet complex enough for young adults who needed a RPG fix. 

The advantage of the FFG was that you could “roleplay” BY YOURSELF (Which is a bit of a contradiction…if someone roleplays and noone sees it, do they really say “Huzzah!”???).  But the limited dice-rolling and keeping of statistics, inventory, etc. provided for some aspect of the role-playing tabletop experience.

At a time when your computing options regarding games were EXTREMELY limited, these books served a useful purpose.  At least, when they were fairly well-written.  They could be read multiple times because you “chose” the path that the story took as you read.  To a very limited extent, you were “playing” your character, deciding his (or her) fate. 

Some of the books were very clever indeed, while others (especially after the first 21) were very, very bad.  And no need to worry…unlike the traditional “Choose Your Own Adventure” books, there was plenty of combat and chances to come to an untimely end in FFG’s.  In fact, it was extremely difficult to “win” any of them on the first try, and some were pretty d@mn near impossible.

Useful today mainly as pieces of nostalgia given the state of interactive computer gaming, but not without their charms and still potentially interesting to anyone that doesn’t WANT to be part of a multi-million person online “community”.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Puppet Masters (1994)

“Lone Star” Donald Sutherland adds another film to his over-possessive aliens resume, but his performance is the only highlight in an otherwise unintentionally cheezy B-list tour-de-weakness.
Try Sutherland in the far more interesting ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’.

Inspirational Quote: “One”

Grade: D

6/24/12: Sutherland gives it some undeserved class.  Grade: D+

3/25/14: Initial review was overly harsh.  If you buy into it, it’s not bad.  Grade: C-

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Cheezy and enjoyable, like ‘Star Wars’, except not as good. Grade: C

The Running Man (1982)

“An edge-of-your-seat thrill ride”, or some variation thereof, has been used so often that it’s now more useful as a laughable cliche than a true description, much like the 1987 movie ‘The Running Man’.

In this case, it’s completely true.  You don’t read this book chapter by chapter, a few nights a week.  You start reading and you turn the pages at much the same feverish pace as it was written.  That’s how it’s meant to be read, and that’s how it works.  And it works brilliantly.  It’s a bit rough around the edges, sure…but it will leave you either blown away or empty.  If you’re willing to take the chance, go for it…it’s only a book, after all, right?

Inspirational Quote: “The explosion was tremendous, lighting up the night like the wrath of God, and it rained fire twenty blocks away.”

Grade: A

The Running Man (1987)

Indescribably wretched Schwarzenegger vehicle that has absolutely nothing at all to do with the brilliant Stephen King novel.  Useful only as a media for circulating the tapes.

Grade: F

5/25/16: Compared to the book, this is sh1t. But that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily TOTAL sh1t. So I watched it again…
Cheezy writing, HORRIBLE acting by Schwarzenegger (his “emotional” refusal in the beginning is PAINFUL to watch), some really bad custumes, etc, etc, etc…but it’s got enough of a cool idea (via the book) to give it SOME objects d’ interest. Grade: D-

Thinner (1996)

Joe Mantegna’s performance as Richie “The Hammer” Ginelli is the lone bright spot in yet another bad movie based on a Stephen King (Errr Richard Bachman) book, unless you count Kari Wuhrer’s panties.

Inspirational Quote: “Like it?  Are you kidding? I *bleepin* LOVE it!”

Grade: D

6/3/12: They are VERY nice panties.  Grade: D+

6/24/12: Really.  Take a good long look.  Also, Mantegna’s brilliant if extremely underused.
Grade: C-

8/24/12: Mantegna, by himself, is as good as ‘Fight Club’.  And it’s a d@mn good thing for the rest of the movie, too.  Grade: C

Why I Like Tim Tebow

Because he’s one of a very small number of people that realizes how LUCKY he is to get PAID lots of money for playing a GAME.

I don’t understand people wanting him to fail. 

Is he a good quarterback?  No, he’s a horrible quarterback.  I knew that when Denver was winning despite him (because of their defense) and I know that now.

But it doesn’t matter.  He’s sincere in his belief, he’s a genuinely nice person, he doesn’t treat the game as his life, he takes all the insults and jokes aimed at him (some good-natured, some vicious) and shrugs them off because he’s a TRUE believer.

He doesn’t thank God when he wins and curse when he loses.

He thanks God because he BELIEVES.  He believes in hope, he believes in people, and he believes that how you conduct your life is more important than how well you throw a football.

Only fervent Atheists, complete scumbags, and the pitifully Envious have reason to hate him.

Peace.

– Puppy >.< Yip!

Babe (1995)

As gorgeous and beautifully moving at its heights as the best Disney fantasies to anyone with any semblance of child-like wonder left in their hearts, or any hope for the possible Goodness of humanity buried beneath layers of legitimate cynicism.

There are certainly relatively “dark” scenes, but these move the film away from pure escapist fantasy and closer to a realistic but positive view on (possible) reality.

The optimist’s response, perhaps, to George Orwell’s relentlessly cynical (and brilliant) ‘Animal Farm’.  Which vision is more accurate?  Probably Orwell’s.  But I like this view infinitely better and maybe (MAYBE) if more people felt the same and worked towards THIS view instead of resigning themselves to Orwell’s, it could eventually become less of a fantasy and more of a reality.

James Cromwell is excellent in an understated role, but, of course, the pig is the star.

Costumes and countryside (and music) are lush and beautiful.

The mice are annoying to me but probably hilarious to little kids.  But this isn’t a “little kids” movie, it’s far too advanced intellectually and thematically.  So I’d like to remove them, but hey, what can you do…it’s only a minor complaint.

I can’t resist a wry smile when two groups are presented, both of whose opinions are narrated with complete neutrality, both of whom prove to be wrong.  It’s an obvious reference to “ism”‘s of any kind (Sex, Race, Etc…) as being, above all else, stupid.  It’s quite clever and, to quote a wise (fictional) being – “I do, in fact, agree with it.”

Humility and dedication triumphing over arrogance, ignorance, and closed-mindedness.  10.

Ending – Cue the Sun.  That’ll do.

Inspirational Quote: “If I had words to make a day for you, I’d sing you a morning golden and true”

Grade: A

6/24/12: Just don’t listen to the mice.  Grade: A+

Brotherly Love

For those of you who missed out on a New Year’s Eve kiss, consider that at least you weren’t as unfortunate as Moe Howard…

*Moe* (Talking to a woman who then walks away, his eyes closed) “Kiss me…oh, kiss me!”
*Curly* (Shrugging and leaning in to smooch Moe) “Anything else, Sir?”
*Moe* (Opening his eyes) “I’m poisoned!”

Happy New Year

-Puppy >.< Slurp!

Viewing Recommendation

Like the informational aspect of ‘Antiques Roadshow’ but find the show itself just a bit too boring and lacking in any kind of excitement?

Like finding cool items at rummage/yard sales?

Wish they could somehow combine the two, add a live auction, and make sort of a fun/educational research show/game show hybrid?

They did.  It’s called ‘Bargain Hunt’…look for it on BBC America or (more easily) on the playback device of your choice that gets BBC programs.

And watch out for bits of old tat.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Return Of The Living Dead (1985)

It’s not a “zombie” film, because they run and talk pretty well.
It’s not a horror film because it’s far too silly.
So think of it as a comedy homage/parody to/of “real” zombie movies, most of which are much more gruesome but not nearly as clever.
You can safely call this a B movie.  On the low end.

Inspirational Quote: “Send more paramedics”

Grade: B-

2012: Oh come on, this is fcken hilarious.  Grade: B

The Three Stooges – Episode 58 (In The Sweet Pie And Pie)

Highs:
too young and too handsome
Curly thinking
musical saws
saw see saw
wedding kiss
vendor
The Shadow
skinless frankfurter
Curly’s bed solution
Larry’s chicken
big fence in Chicago
Jasper’s tapeworm
Curly getting himself

Lows:
waking up
dancing lessons stock footage
LONG pie fight

Grade: A-

The Three Stooges – Episode 57 (An Ache In Every Stake)

Highs:
frozen dainty
bent chisel
ice bowling
free sample
What a brain…
electric icebox
ruff!
What a brain…
blood/ketchup
cooking debate
Moe’s ingredients
Curly shaving the ice
stuffing the turkey
clip joint
tootsy-fruitsy
Curly’s father
slap fight
gas on…

Lows:
unfortunate cakes
icing
cake presentation

Grade: A

The Three Stooges – Episode 46 (A Plumbing We Will Go)

Highs:
dandruff
malfunctioning snap
Freckled Trout
private cabinet
no room for an argument
instant plumbers
Jack and Jill
straitjacket size 36
Curly’s endless pipes
surrounded
Curly’s resentment
pipe clogged with wires
Larry the groundhog
reality tv
dangerous hole
ending

Lows:
boring (and racist) water gags
boring (and racist) electricity gags
fleeing the house

Grade: A-

The Three Stooges – Episode 44 (You Nazty Spy!)

Highs:
Moe thinking
Beblach!
Curly’s machine gun
goslings
Saloonatics
little gathering
safe hypocrisy
“Hiss”
here’s how
stenographer
little red book
no bones in ice cream
wrong side of the gutter
stop at Syracuse
shooting the works
in a pickle
shot in the excitement
Notre Dame and 2 points
new secretary
dancing
BURP

Lows:
8 ball joke
stormtroopers
long map shot
peace conference

Grade: A

The Three Stooges – Episode 42 (Oily To Bed, Oily To Rise)

Highs:
henfruit
unskilled labor
sawing a saw in half with a saw
cheese knife
illiterate door
Curly’s casual crash warning
not enough time to murder Curly
barely possible
kiss for luck
kissing Moe

Lows:
short-distance chase
most of the oil scene
driving(again)

Grade: B

11/27/13: I don’t have to re-watch it.  At this point, I just have to re-imagine it.  Grade: B+

The Three Stooges – Episode 21 (Dizzy Doctors)

Highs:
breakfast alarm
back-to-bed alarm
convenient umbrella
Salesmen!
Brighto Jingle
woof vs. hiss
banana peels
quick ride
Curly’s health
three more chances
Brighto!
one-way round trip
information
fight summary
six delicious flavors
busy line
long-term dandruff treatment
inability to find the clutch
Curly hurrying
ending

Lows:
persistent dog
persistent begging
most of the chase scene
sailing on the street

Grade: A

(Truly) Inspirational Quote

“I’m not an atheist. I don’t think I can call myself a pantheist. The
problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. We are in the
position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books
in many languages. The child knows someone must have written
those books. It does not know how. It does not understand the
languages in which they are written. The child dimly suspects a
mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn’t know
what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God.” – Albert Einstein