Basically just a succession of tortures (mental and physical) and attempts at escape by a psycho and his kidnapped neighbor, respectively. Very little before or after.
Compelling (believable, decently-acted, creepy) enough to make it interesting, but gory and disgusting enough to make it revolting.
It left me with a hollow, mildly nauseous feeling. And, unless you’re a sociopath, a psychopath, an extreme sadist, and/or an extreme masochist, it will quite probably have a similar effect on you.
If you *do* enjoy being shocked and disgusted – I mean REALLY – then this is probably on the lower end of your disgust-o-meter.
Because while it might fit loosely on the level of ‘Cut’ and ‘Dumplings’, it takes that … Extra bit of graphic disgustingness and wastes it on the mild pretense of a story, dramatic pauses, mood, and the believable character reactions of the female lead.
It has a happy ending, of sorts. I mean, reaping the whirlwind and all that.
Changes: None to the overall quality/good points/bad points…but there is definite improvement over the past year and a half or so. Little things, mostly…but fairly consistently added/improved little things.
And the artwork is MUCH better than it used to be, overall.”
The above is an update of the original review, published almost a year ago on this blog.
I copied it here because it – again, in a positive manner – is fitting.
Meaning:
The bad points aren’t any worse than they were last time…and last time, they weren’t any worse than they were the FIRST time. If anything, the bad points aren’t as bad (Games are SLIGHTLY better, for instance). So nothing is worse…AND…
If you can accept the bad points, the good points are – again – better than they were. Artwork, item listings, functionality, features, continuity, quests, community-type activities…all are slightly improved (again).
So basically this is a site on a small but steady upward trend. It’s better now than it’s ever been, and it seems – based on quite a bit of experience – that it continues to trend upward, from the last time slowly (but continually) up to now.
Also of note, the staff is overall very friendly and helpful, and – as mentioned before – they *SEEM*, at least, to actually care. About the game, the site, and (at least to a certain degree) the players.
Not perfect, certainly…but if you like what you see now, you’ll likely like what you see even more as time goes on.
If you DON’T like what you see now, it’s probably not for you.
P.S. – Kudos to the sometimes-relevant “gift items” and the overall level of personal and independent acceptance on the site.
“I’m … disappointed that you’ve chosen to store her, I had the pleasure to interact with her and you played her beautifully.” – ‘Armageddon’ staff
Oh, I bet you tell that to all the boys.
And you’re not the first! I’ve turned down several people already today. Still, we’ll get around it.
Conclusion: I guess I’m the Boogie Cousins of roleplaying.
P.S. – The hardest part of Forgotten Kingdoms roleplay is pretending, in character, that Gwain’s incredibly dull and persistent (and unpunished) obvious anachronistic stupidity doesn’t make you want to either puke or kick him in the nuts. Projectile vomit, maybe?
I was there YEARS ago, and also DAYS ago.
And no sidewinding, bushwhacking, hornswoggling, cracker-croaker is gonna roll my bishercutter!
And his roleplay hasn’t changed. Not at all. So, obviously, there’s been no punishment for his OBVIOUS and CONTINUAL violations of supposed “roleplay enforcement”, making the claim of “roleplay enforcement” just a huge pile of untrue advertising bullsh1t.
I’m not talking about things that are borderline. I’m not talking about a mistake once in a while. I’m not talking about “hey what’s up” instead of “Ho there, yon dapper fellow! Howst farest thee this day?”
I’m talking about persistent, constant, incessant, FOR YEARS, blatant, impossible-to-ignore and impossible-to-respond-in-character-to anachronisms.
As long as he’s there, every “rule” they have is worthless. Because they do NOT “enforce” roleplay. He is a living, breathing, anachronism-spewing example of that.
As to WHY…I can’t possibly imagine. It’s not like he’s even INTERESTING in his rule-breaking. He’s not even FUNNY when he does it. He’s DULL. DULL, DULL, My GOD he’s dull…and irrepressibly drab and awful.
Anyways, my job here is done. Now, the ritualistic sex.
2/25/17: Also, please feel free to try ‘The Burning Post’ 2.1. Because if you’re looking for a MUD where you can put in a lot of effort without worrying about the IMP getting bored and doing a “soft reboot”…this ain’t it. BUT, he’ll gladly tell you about his personal life and talk about how much he wishes he was playing other games. Because, after all, it’s “more of a”…(chat channel?)…”than a MUD”.
Caveats (I need to brush my MUDs more often): Shard is very helpful. Psyche is pretty helpful. Most of the players are fairly helpful, and decent RPers. Some are pretty darn good, actually. Vis:
FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A decent clip from an…ok episode. Idle does his best to carry the show post-Cleese.
“The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mystical. It is the power of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms—this knowledge, this feeling, is at the center of true religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I belong to the rank of devoutly religious men.”
Negatives: Moves too slowly, not creepy enough, not “believable” enough.
It’s about a man slowly going insane, his friend, and how it affects them both.
It gets more creepy and interesting as it goes along…slowly…at first.
Then, it plateaus with everything pretty much “laid out” for you. And it stays there. Until the end. Which is disappointing.
Too clinical, too step-by-step analytical, and not enough SCARY AS HELL.
Think Jack Nicholson from ‘The Shining’. The typing scene. That…is scary. REALLY creepy, convincing GOING CRAZY.
TAP…TAPTAP…TAPTAPTAP…TAPTAP…
This is not. It’s like it was made from the viewpoint of someone who had read a dozen books on severe mental illness, but never actually experienced anything close to it themselves.
Despite all that, its intent, the acting, the direction, the quality of it…make it interesting.
Zomromcom about a boy who loves a girl so much that he comes back from the dead to fulfill his dream of taking her to the prom.
It’s totally deadpan: there’s no “horror”, because the tone just never allows for that.
It’s more like a typical high school “loser slowly wins over the most popular girl from the dumb jock with his sincerity” movie, except that the plot twists impacting the relationship (the focus of the film) are due to things like body parts falling off and a growing appetite for human flesh. You know, no big whoop.
The lead is very even-keeled despite his zombiehood, and doesn’t understand when other people are mildly confused by his return (that’s about as strong a reaction as he gets at first…maybe that’s a joke on how noone really paid attention to him when he was alive anyway).
His parents are blissfully ignorant of the fact that he’s come back from the dead in a “oh, hi, welcome back” everything-is-fine 50’s ‘Date With The Family’ sort of way. His mother stays just as pleasant as she adapts to his new appetite; like the rest of the movie, it’s amusing/interesting at first, but eventually runs out of ideas and “surprises” and becomes mostly just silly.
It does stay at least mildly interesting until right near the end, though, so it’s worth a watch. The ending is rather weak, but tolerable.
Inspirational Quote: “I was at the mortuary; they’re practically *giving* them away.”
The scariest thing about this movie is that, in researching it a bit, I found out that one of the things at the top of David Cronenberg’s wish list was/(is?) to work with Burt Reynolds. And NOT in a mockumentary.
The overall idea is interesting and the movie is disturbing – like most of Cronenberg’s work, I think – but despite some inherently disturbing scenes it’s decidedly un-scary; it seems like the idea was conceived well enough and then just written very poorly.
The doctor’s brief escape from the perilous pool scene reminded me a bit of Galahad’s just-in-time rescue from the Castle Anthrax.
Suggested dialogue upgrade (this did come out at around the same time, so it could have been L.F. Dibleyed):
(Doctor) *internal dialogue* “At this time I felt I was in great peril; however, something inside me insisted that I go back, and face the peril, even if perhaps it would be too perilous.”
OMG what a horrific, terrifying ending…(besides the rotten sax solo, I mean): Not since Ed Wood’s classic ‘The Violent Years’ couple-in-a-car scene has the male population of the world felt so incredibly threatened as by the second car leaving the garage.
In other news, this shows that you CAN, in fact, improve as a writer/director/filmmaker. Because, unlike some of Cronenberg’s later works, this sucks big-time.
Generous grade provided by the idea itself and a few halfway-decent scenes. And so as not to offend my Canadian readers.
An alien organism possessing (supposed) intelligence, that spreads and “infects” a THOUSAND times easier (even ACCIDENTALLY) than, I don’t know, let’s say…human-sized seed pods that take hours to function after being smuggled into your basement…and the ONE group they fail to target/infect is by easy definition one of – if not – THE most dangerous threat(s) to their assimilation aspirations?
I was gonna give it a D- for competence, a few mildly interesting scenes, and a nice little car-smothering chase. But when it didn’t go for the obvious, cliche (but competent and believable) ending, and instead chose the WTF, dumba$$, there’s no fcken way that would happen one, it lost even that.
There is nothing here that is not either:
– Totally predictable, OR
– Totally annoying in crushing any (almost-guaranteed superior) ideas you might have for it.
Try either of the ‘Body Snatchers’ movies (original or 70’s remake), ‘The Puppet Masters’ (borderline, but still), or anything else but this if you want the genre.
Great missed casting opportunities as extras: Keanu Reeves, Christian Bale, Nic Cage.
Inspirational Quote: “Yeah, we’re here. You wouldn’t believe this place, man; so much Nobel gold here you’d think you’re in Fort Knox…”
If you’re ever in a conflict with another (verbal, mental, physical, checkers…) and it becomes incredibly obvious that you’ve essentially won, but they simply refuse to concede defeat, just look at them and say with mild annoyance: “Look, you stupid b@stard, you’ve got no arms left!”
Saves a lot of time and hey, they ain’t worth it.
I think this could become the next great catchphrase in the Trump era.
*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE*
FAIR USE: CRITICISM – The clip is intended to portray a conflict of words and also someone betrayed by their arrogance. It does both well.
