Author: Puppy

Semper Puppy

The Rezort (2016)

A mildly interesting opening take on the old (zombie) idea.

Unfortunately, all the slick direction and loud noises can’t mask the fact that the acting is either over- or mediocre.

The characters are mostly undefined, and the movie seems to say “oh, fck it” after a brief attempt at inspiration, content to devolve into the usual.

It picks up a little near the end, with a couple of interesting moments; but it’s still strictly for the zombie-movie-obsessed, and only if you must.

Grade: D-

Science Fiction And Science Fax

To clarify, I do *not* oppose science.

I do not oppose science facts; and I wholeheartedly denounce “alternative” facts.

The point I have tried to make, via much more intelligent sources such as Paul Feyerabend and George Orwell, is that you should always think for yourself.

That doesn’t mean make up your own facts.

It means do careful research, gather input from all sources, analyze all the data available, and make a realistic, informed decision; taking into account facts and opinions, and ignoring outright lies and propaganda.

The ultimate enemy is propaganda, in ANY form. You can’t use propaganda to defeat propaganda; that’s called hypocrisy.

With an open mind and an open heart, always seek out the truth in your self and in the world. This is how to respond to “alternative facts”.

And, when you know something is propagandic BS, the very worst thing you can do is to ignore/accept it.

If you can’t oppose it, you can at the very least mock it.

You know…ridicule it. In public, yet.

Well whaddya know, Dick Dawk’s advice finally proves useful. For SOMETHING.

*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE*

Suggested Reading: ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’. Yes, I read it…I even *reviewed* it!

Good Quote, Great Cover

“My daughter’s just discovering Nirvana…and…she…she’s realizing the energy; that energy that she feels when she listens to it…it’s not something that she’s heard from her generation. She hasn’t heard that. She told me; because I said ‘Ok, so nothing you’ve heard reminds you- “Uh, there’s nothing like that. Nothing is exactly like that.”‘ – Tori Amos

The Inauguration

To open: I think Trump is a scumbag and I in no way support him. HOWEVER…

“Protesters who assembled in the area — some throwing rocks and bricks at the police — had smashed car windows…Earlier in the day, protesters destroyed the glass front of a Bank of America and a Starbucks in the area; images captured some people holding hammers…”

So, to protest the election of a hateful candidate, you engage in violent, hateful, destructive activities? Yeah, that makes sense.

Also, you are aware – I hope – that being a police officer does not make you inherently a Trump supporter (amazing I’d have to say that, but see below), and that police officers preventing people from smashing windows has nothing to do with Trump. It’s called “their job”. You know…keeping the peace? Something you (I would assume) supposedly support?

Point of note: Just because you think Trump wants to set up a fascist “police-state” does not mean that ALL police officers are – on election day – SUDDENLY fascist opponents of freedom and ardent Trump supporters.

I mean, what are you, ignorant? Read a fcken book or something.

““Police officers,” a woman in the crowd grumbled, “are Trump supporters.””

What are you, a moron? Your actions and your rhetoric are just as ignorant and hateful as the rhetoric you’re SUPPOSEDLY protesting.

It’s called a PEACEFUL TRANSFER OF POWER. Respect it, you dumb fcks.

You wanna protest? Fine, protest. But do it peacefully. You know, like civilized, not-hateful, non-ignorant people. Like the people you supposedly are, not like the people you supposedly oppose.

“They chanted — “We are a peaceful protest!” — but by late morning, several shop windows in downtown Washington had been shattered…”

Ummmm…yeah.

By the way, you wanna know why Trump won? I mean, besides racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia, etc…

But seriously, ONE small part of why he won is this: A lot of people that are NOT racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, xenophobic a$$holes were just tired of the upward-trending snarky elitism from certain groups…

So way to go, antitheists. You’ve helped elect Donald Trump.

I think Dick Dawk’s “Mock them. Ridicule them in public.” method didn’t work QUITE as well as he’d (and they’d) hoped.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 181)

So, now football AND basketball fans are all incredibly stupid?

Chevy Silverado ad:

“blah blah”

“Oh, did I say there was *one* Silverado? There’s *five*”

*Silverados appear…people murmur, sort of like…”ok…”*

And that’s it.

Nothing about the Silverado.

Oh, did I say there was *one* piece of lint in my pocket? There’s *five*.

So fcken what you d@mn moron???

Cabin Fever (2016)

After ‘Shaquille O’Neal: Comedy’, you might want something to make you laugh.

So there’s this. It’s a zombie/undead/infected/etc movie (remake).

It’s so over-the-top you might laugh at it. But more likely you’ll just stop watching it.

Or, if you keep watching it, more likely you’ll just be testing your endurance of how shockingly, free-stylingly-because-some-of-it-could-NOT-have-been-writtenly bad it will get.

Grade: F-

Pupdate – 12/26/16

Here’s a status update on some of those things I know you’ve been wondering about.

Grimmsy Grimmling strip number two: Still expected by the end of December, hopefully.

Semper Puppy online radio: Still there, playing grunge and various other thingies.

This website: Noticeably less interesting lately.

My creative inspiration: Lacking, though you never can tell. I mean, look how clever this bit is.

The Patriots: In the playoffs. Couldn’t other teams in the AFC East try just a *little* harder? It’s like Trelaine (sp?) hunting Kirk.

My dating life: Non-existent.

My evaluation of whether any woman will ever want to touch me again: Unchanged.

My preferred method for dying: Someone tearing one of my arms off and beating me to death with it.

Suggested time frame for this happening: Well not NOW. I mean, QUITE a while. I’m too young to die, after all. Too young, and too handsome. *peek in reflective surface* AH! … Well, too young.

How long this series of stupid updates will go on: I sense an imminent ending.

Future ideas for Grimmsy: LOTS! Really…can you stand it???

Current position: Sitting down and facing forward.

Random MST3K Recommendation: ‘The Creeping Terror’

Random Pun: What do you call making fun of someone using wordplay? A pun jab, of course.

Will there be more “Grumpy Old Puppy” entries?: Oh yes!

Site Review – Google (Little Date-Related Animated Thingies)

Pretty cool.

Most of them are cute in theory and they have a cutesy sort of charm about them.

And some of them are actually informative, kind of.

A few exceptions to this, of course, including:

– “Weird Al” Yankovic Day
– Too much lean towards Science-Worship in choices (Where’s P. Feyerabend?)
– WTF is with the Christmas one? I mean…the daddy Google wearing a new tie and drinking coffee, fine. The mommy Google sewing something and one of the little baby Googles happy watching, fine. But the three other little-kid Googles: HAPPY about getting SOCKS??? Is that supposed to be ironically funny or is Google getting a generous grant from the ConHugeCo sock corporation?

Kids aren’t HAPPY about getting socks; they should be crying their little animated eyeballs out. Or hastily tossing them aside and moving hopefully on towards the next gift.

“SOCKS??? For the love of all that is Good and Sacred, WHY???!!!”

How To Get Ahead In Advertising (1989)

Saw this a LONG time ago; remembered it as creepy, funny, and really weird. Now, was this my relative youth, or is this a little gem of a movie? Let’s see…

Great little intro speech by the lead; really shows both how little he gives a fck and how good he is AT not giving a fck and being as coldly ruthless as seems possible.

He’s pretty clever and he KNOWS he’s pretty clever, methodically and without hesitation wielding that cleverness without a single (not second, not FIRST) thought about anything besides efficiency, exploitation, and profit.

He plays his role well, with decent supporting casters, as the movie quickly moves toward/into more and more absurd territory.

Clearly a comedy, as the man’s hatred of and aversion to boils and boil-on-the-botty talk is really over the top, and the music plays along well with fake “tension” amidst this horrible problem (yeah right).

The attempts at humor are rather tasteless and occasionally amusing, as the sometimes-sh1tty/sometimes-stupid “plot” and dialogue provide a few chuckles (or at least mild smiles). Played straight at all times, which is the key to it being worth anything at all (See ‘Dead Alive’).

Eventually the lead has a revelation/breakdown in which he realizes how evil all advertising is and tries to rid himself of all ties to it. At this time he also acquires a boil, which seems to grow and mutate rather as quickly as his personality changes.

He’s non-stop over-the-top and a ball of energy the entire movie: both as a cold, vicious weirdo and a concerned, reborn weirdo.

Unfortunately the whole thing runs out of steam about 2/3 of the way through. I mean, the setup moves along, the plot point, the boil’s formative years, etc…

But then, when what should be the conclusion (in some way) happens, it doesn’t end. It has a bit longer to go to make it movie-length, and so in true pre-revelation ad-man form the film is padded to go all the way, even as it gets less and less interesting and more and more stupid-boring, as opposed to ridiculous-amusing.

Worth a watch, though…at least for the first two-thirds, and to say you’ve watched it. It’s a fairly unique oddity, after all.

Inspirational Quote: “I’m an expert on t1ts. T1ts and peanut butter.”

Grade: C

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: C+

Pupdate – 12/8/16

Next Grimmsy Grimmling: Hopefully/Probably by the end of December.

Semper Puppy Radio: Ummm…I made a note to advertise it as “Streamlined line Trim-Jeans”, but that’s not very good.

The point is, I’ve gone through and weeded out some stuff, and it’s better than it was. The core stuff isn’t going anywhere (PJ, Nirvana, Soundgarden, AIC, Temple of the Dog, etc…) but some of the periphery is subject to possible change/rotation.

Semper Puppy Radio – All The Info I Want To Keep Updated

Peak Listeners, Last 30 Days: 10 (Record: 13 on 2/21/17)

Unique Listeners, Last 30 Days: 431 (Record: 444 on 3/26/17)

Unique Countries, Last 30 Days: 47 (Record: 50 on 3/13/17)

Top Ten Listeners, Last 30 Days (By Country)

1) The United Kingdom
2) Germany
3) The United States
4) Canada
5) Portugal
6) Croatia
7) Bosnia And Herzegovina
8) Hungary
9) Australia
10) Brazil

Last Updated: 3/31/17

12/25/16: If you want to qualify for the Top Ten (and who doesn’t?) you have to log in from a verifiable source.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 175)

The ultimate paradise – the only in any way “controlled” form of existence, in terms of individuality/emotions – is, in my opinion, the world of the ST:ToS episode ‘This Side Of Paradise’.

As many things will attest (“In Wildness Is The Preservation Of The World”, my ‘San Junipero’ review, my ‘The Return Of The Archons’ review, etc) I’m totally on the side of individuality – and, unfortunately, all the problems it brings – over conformism, control. Even in ‘Return’, where most of the people are, in a sense, content…it’s “vacant contentment”, as Mr. Spock put it: “…a soulless society…all is indeed peace and tranquility; the peace of the factory, the tranquility of the machine…”

But in ‘Paradise’, the only “control” is happiness.

There’s no hive mentality, there’s no enforced behavior or thought or emotion, it’s REAL, people retain their PERSONALITIES: they’re the same as they were, only happy. Perhaps for some that’s not enough, but for everyone to live as individuals, benevolently by *nature*, happy in who they are, co-existing with each other and accepting their differences…it’s impossible, but in that ONE instance (which would never happen, but IF it could) that would seem to be the ideal society.

As Spock quite honestly and accurately put it, while in and while out of that society:

“It’s a true Eden, Jim. There’s belonging, and love.”

“I have little to say about it, Captain. Except that – for the first time in my life – I was happy.”

Black Mirror – Episode 13 (Hated In The Nation)

Starts off as a murder mystery, seems fairly generic and mildly futuristic (not the bees!!!). One of the future “hints” becomes possibly relevant.

But this is a waste. I want ‘Black Mirror’, not ‘CSI-without-the-goth-chick’.

A waste of time (yours, mine, the crew’s, the actors’), a waste of a decent basic idea, a waste of the last ‘Black Mirror’ episode in the series.

It’s competent, sure, but that seems to be the baseline for these (thankfully). It’s a little creepy and dark, but that also…

Basically it’s a pretty generic and predictable whodunit. It’s not worth half an hour of your time, let alone one and a half. If you insist on seeing every ‘Black Mirror’ episode, it won’t hurt. But you won’t be surprised, at least nowhere *near* the level of BM’s best. You’ll be: “Oh…mmmm…ah!…mmmm…ohhh…that’s creepy…hmmm…ahhh…oh. That’s it?”

The story is basically about unpopularity having fatal consequences; internet based/related, of course. The government doesn’t give a fck about your privacy in the future. (Errr…I can stretch my imagination). The internet/technology are used for bad purposes. (Ditto).

I’m not underselling it…I LIKE this series. This is just a huge disappointment as the last (for now), especially after ‘Nosedive’ and ‘San Junipero’.

Guest Review: “No, no…stop that. It’s gotten mediocre. It started off with a nice little idea about grannies attacking young men, but now it’s gotten mediocre. Those characters are pretty badly made…time’s too long for a vicar.”

Really…it’s not worth more. Watch or don’t, it won’t mean anything.