Category: I Am Puppy Hear Me Degrade

I ‘An See You (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Gonna need some visual aids for this…

“Wow, this RP is gonna be great.  Now, all the hours of effort will…oh sh1t.”

He SEES me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_HPFoelMQc

Well, tell him I said screw you.

This is now the “Lord Iancu Oash Bad Roleplay Alert System”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1MQ1IkKZaI

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – First clip is the ending from a very good movie with a very Cthulhu-esque flair to it; the best I’ve seen in that vein, actually. The second clip is a bit of fun mocking how AWFUL an actor Nic Cage is. (housekeeping)

It’s Finished! My Masterpiece!

I shall call it ‘A Maid On A Night Out, Winding A Grandfather’s Clock, With Her Left Hand’.

But first, a bit of fun.

Ok, so pretend Evalyn is the mummy, and Iancu Inky-Baby is Beni after finding out that Evie is played by a male.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDWR5RkWRTY

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – An interesting bit with an interesting character from a pretty good movie. (housekeeping)

Roleplaying – How To Do It

First, pick an interesting character.

Second, research that character (if based on existing person/historical person/fictional person/etc).

Third, stay in character.

Fourth, and this is key…DON’T USE OOC INFORMATION TO INFLUENCE YOUR RP.

My research, in this case, involved watching a movie SIX GODD@MN times in three days.

Did I “ENJOY” it?  No.  I was trying to put an investment into a character I liked.

Same reason I logged 60 hours in a week.

What’s the point of this?  Can’t say.  We’ll see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNfGyIW7aHM

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Clip is a satire of an actual show, I believe. It’s quite good, and also very useful as a piece of satirical material re: other things. (housekeeping)

Thoughts While Watching The Patriots – 1/11/14

Dan Dierdorf: Belaboring inside the box.

So he goes ON and ON and ON and ON about how BAD a play it was to give up 2 points.

Now, the score was 21-10 New England.  That’s a two score game.  (TD +2 and FG)

A safety makes it a…two score game. (TD and FG)

And the other team gets it (probably) about 80 yards from your end zone.

Dierdorf apparently thinks it’s ABSOLUTELY the thing to do to give the other team 1st and goal at YOUR OWN 2 yard line…very probably 7 points, a virtual CERTAINTY for 3.  Either way, making it a ONE SCORE GAME.

Jesus H. Christ…(Yes?)…no, I was talking metaphorically (Oh).

I mean I “see” the argument for both sides, cuz I’m not a moron.  There’s odds for both things to work or not.

But a color analyst who is SO ingrained in his little box of thought is a color analyst that needs to retire.

I’m writing this before I see the results.  It’s my opinion cuz it’s my opinion, not cuz it worked or didn’t.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Armageddon MUD Joke – Rice Lied Style

Then smothered in gravy…TEXAS STYLE!

Anyway, if I had a character that was in the main city with a labyrinth in it, and I woke up dazed and confused next to a pile of vomit (not sure whose, but vomit), and some person tried to convince me that I was in fact in the city of Tuluk, I’m pretty sure I’d realize it was Allanak.

GIB, DOLB, NAD SRABSY!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Useful Information

“Tax evasion is the illegal evasion of taxes by individuals, corporations and trusts. Tax evasion often entails taxpayers deliberately misrepresenting the true state of their affairs to the tax authorities to reduce their tax liability…”

“For years for which no return has been filed, there is no statute of limitations on civil actions—that is, on how long the IRS can seek taxpayers and demand payment of taxes owed.“

“For each year a taxpayer willfully fails to timely file an income tax return, the taxpayer can be sentenced to one year in prison.  In general, there is a six-year statute of limitations on federal tax crimes.”  -Wikipedia

Now, I’m not accusing anyone of this, but if anyone at the IRS was interested in checking back say, oh I don’t know, 20 or so years of perhaps no returns, they might want to talk to:

Robert Lowe
44 Webster Street
Watertown, MA 02472

(As of at least mid-2011, although his “listed” address may be elsewhere…this was where he actually lived.)

Hope this helps out.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Bobbing Low’s Guide To Life – Part One (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Rule One: If someone whose house you live rent-free in – despite the fact that you make a LOT of money that goes completely undeclared to the IRS, and have for YEARS – complains honestly and justly about horrible mistreatment and verbal/mental/psychological abuse to you, threaten to kill them and then advance towards them in a very threatening manner.

To Protect And…Ehhh, to HECK with it.

Recent headline: ‘Former DC Detective of the Year Guilty of Secretly Videotaping Stepdaughter in Shower, Bedroom’

“…This is the fourth time recently an incident has come to light
involving a D.C. police officer and women or girls, says WJLA. Officer Marc Washington died in an apparent suicide after he was
accused of having a teen runaway take off her clothes for pictures. Officer Linwood Barnhill Jr. is accused of being a pimp in an underage prostitution ring out of his apartment. And, officer Samson
Lawrence was recently accused of trying to kill his wife.”

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 49)

So, lots of companies/products advertise as “Since X” (X = year of origin)

That’s not necessarily a sign of quality.  I mean, if a car was made the same today as it was a long time ago, would that be a good thing?

“Chevy: Building the same cars since 1929”

“Ford: Stuck in a creative rut since 1934”

I especially like when they advertise as “Quality Products…” or “Made With Care…” in front of the “Since X”.  Not because I give a sh1t, or believe them, but because it presents a great means of deceptive advertising.

I don’t know about you, but if a company advertised something as “Made With Pride Since 1979”, and then I found out they started making that product in 1945, I’d buy one.  Cuz hey, at least they’re honest.

“Oh yeah, we’ve made them since ’45…but we were pretty ashamed of ourselves for quite a while.  In ’79 we took out all the ingredients we knew were harmful…we’ve felt a lot better since then.”

*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE*

47 Ronin (2013)

Pre-emptive review (very rare):

“The ronin spent more than a year waiting for the “right time” for
their revenge. It was Yamamoto Tsunetomo, author of the Hagakure,
who asked this famous question: “What if, nine months after
Asano’s death, Kira had died of an illness?” His answer was that
the Forty-seven Ronin would have lost their only chance at
avenging their master. Even if they had claimed, then, that their dissipated behavior was just an act, that in just a little more time
they would have been ready for revenge, who would have believed them?
They would have been forever remembered as cowards and
drunkards—bringing eternal shame to the name of the Asano clan.
The right thing for the ronin to do, wrote Yamamoto, according to
proper bushido, was to attack Kira and his men immediately
after Asano’s death. The ronin would probably have suffered defeat, as Kira was ready for an attack at that time—but this was unimportant.

Ōishi, from the perspective of bushido, was too obsessed
with success, according to Yamamoto. He conceived his convoluted
plan to ensure they would succeed at killing Kira, which is not a
proper concern in a samurai: the important thing was not the death
of Kira, but for the former samurai of Asano to show outstanding
courage and determination in an all-out attack against the Kira
house, thus winning everlasting honor for their dead master. Even
if they had failed to kill Kira, even if they had all perished,
it would not have mattered, as victory and defeat have no
importance in bushido. By waiting a year, they improved
their chances of success but risked dishonoring the name of their clan, the worst sin a samurai can commit. This is why Yamamoto
and others claim that the tale of the Forty-seven Ronin is a good
story of revenge, but by no means a story of bushido.” – Wikipedia

Yeah, and it STINKS too.

Crimson Tide – The Extended Version (Part 4)

00:31:55 – “You know, Mr. Hunter, I really am quite fond of those Lippizaner stallions.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“‘Yes, Sir’ you’re aware that I’m fond of them, or ‘Yes, Sir’ you’re also fond of them?”
“Yes, Sir, I’m aware that you’re quite fond of them.  Quite frankly, Sir, they’re starting to get on my nerves.”
“I see, Mr. Hunter”.
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00:33:13 – “Mr. Hunter, do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, in France?”
“Royale with Cheese, Sir.”
“That’s right, Mr. Hunter.”
“Was there a point to that question, Sir?”
“Not really, Mr. Hunter.  Just wondering about burgers.”

Crimson Tide – The Extended Version (Part 3)

00:20:20 – “Mr. Hunter…do you like movies about gladiators?
“No, Sir.”
“‘No Sir’, you don’t like movies about gladiators, or…’No Sir’ you…”
“Doesn’t work for this, Sir.”
“I see, Mr. Hunter.”
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00:22:46 – “Mr. Hunter…have you ever been in a Turkish prison?”
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An Evolutionary Comment

I had thought, for quite a while, about becoming a vegetarian.  Still do, occasionally.

However, the borderline-insanity intolerant and demanding preaching of militant vegans has evoked in me the same reaction that militant atheists used to have toward religion, before their cause became archaic and passe.

Throwing off one’s own “chains” (Thank you, Albert) is fine…but to yell at other people to demand that they do likewise serves no logical or useful purpose.  It merely alienates them and, if anything, pushes them away from your cause.  Which is why I find true believers (or non-believers) infinitely preferable to crusaders of any kind – only an emotional coward (Thank you, DD) would change their beliefs because someone else TOLD them to.  And, as long as any individual is doing no harm with their beliefs – or lack thereof – to mock, insult, yell at, etc…them simply because you feel you are “right” is childish and petty.  And a thorough waste of time.

Well…I appear to have gotten a little off topic there, but…no harm done.

I like the taste of meat.  I’m an omnivore.  Therefore, I will keep eating it.  If you don’t like that…WTF do I care?

Just add “Militant Vegans” to the list of unwelcome site visitors.  Thank you.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Foo Real

I thought I knew all it took to bother you
Every word I said was true; that you’ll see
How could it be I’m the only one who sees
Your rehearsed insanity Yeah

I still refused all the methods you’ve abused
Its alright if you’re confused; let me be
I’ve been around all the pawns you’ve gagged and bound
They’ll come back and knock you down
And I’ll be free

I’ve taken all and I’ve endured
One day it all will fade I’m sure

I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything

I had no hand in your ever desperate plan
It will turn and when it lands words are due
I should have known we were better off alone
I looked in and i was shown you were too

I’ve taken all and I’ve endured
One day it all will fade I’m sure

I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything

I’ll Stick Around
I’ll Stick Around and learn from all that came from it

Why I Don’t Post Much Lately – Commentary – Comment Rip

Noone seems to give a sh1t either way, so I figure I’ll take the same amount of hits for not posting as I get for posting.

Commentary: If the new game in which you try to knock someone out with one blow is the cause of teens going around trying to do it in real life, why do I doubt that a new game in which you try to give a small portion of your allowance/income to a charity of your choosing would have a similar effect?

Oh, by the way…I think in my next life, I’d like to come back as the President of France.

Why?  Because I think it’d attract a lot of traffic to the website.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

An Exciting Comedy Idea – By Puppy

So (and again, if this has already been done/proposed, fine…it SHOULD have been by now) I was just wondering, thinking about Crime Show A-Z (the one with that cute goth chick…ummm, call it X) because it has that cute goth chick and thinking about Monty Python because they were brilliant…and it occurred to me:

What if the actress that plays that cute goth chick on X guest-starred on ANOTHER show, using her real name?  Like, appearing as herself, the woman that plays that cute goth chick on X?

Ok, so she appears on another show, and let’s say the show is a tasteless, irreverent comedy show, and they do a parody of a famous comedy troupe via one of their most famous sketches?

Now, if the character of the woman that plays that cute goth chick on X, appearing on said show as herself (in character), DIED during a sketch on that show (the character of the person that plays that cute goth chick, not the person that plays that cute goth chick), would they, in order to make sure she’s dead, have to do the following?

*Person 1* “Oh my lack of birdseed, she’s dead!”
*Person 2* “No she isn’t…she’s just restin'”
*Person 1* “What do you mean, “restin”???  Look at her, she’s stone dead!”
*Person 2* “No, no…I think she just prefers bein’ on her back.  She’s beautiful ain’t she, lovely hair.”
*Person 1* “The hair don’t enter into it!  She is definitely deceased!”
*Person 2* “She’s probably pinin’ for the fjords.”
*Person 1* “”Pinin’ for the fjords”??? What kind of talk is that? Look, she’s just layin’ there, flat on her back.  She’s dead!”
*Person 2* “No no, she’s restin'”
*Person 1* “Alright then…if she’s restin’, I’ll wake her up” *lifts head of said pretending-to-be-dead actress from the couch she is on* “PAULEY…PAULEY…I GOT A NICE NEW BLACK CLOTHES SET FOR YA WHEN WAKE UP”
*Person 2* *Nudges the body of said actress* “There she moved.”
*Person 1* “No she didn’t!  That was you pushin’ her!”
*Person 2* “I did not!”
*Person 1* “PAUUUUULEY!!!” *Thumps head lightly on armrest of couch as actress fights back a grin* “PAUUUULEY!!! PAULEY PERRETTE!!!!!” *Thump thump thump* “PAULEY!” *Releases head, which is still fighting back a grin, and which falls back onto the couch*
“Now that’s what I call a dead Perrette.”

And don’t give me any pronunciation nonsense, you can put that in the bucket.  I mean “bouquet”.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Vital News Update – 11/12/13

Also useful as a means to type the numbers 11/12/13 on the only appropriate day that I can.

Headline: ‘Miley Cyrus Shrugs Off EMAs Weed Controversy’

In other news: ‘Everyone In The World Shrugs Off Miley Cyrus Shrugging Off EMAs Weed Controversy’

Given a choice between the two of you as a means of entertainment (the words “singer”, “artist”, “actress” are all equally inapplicable to both) I’d take…the Sea-sick Croc-O-DIIIIILLLLE.

I mean, at least it’s got a decent bit o’ tail. OH!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Crimson Tide – The Extended Version (Part 2)

00:04:30 – “So…Mr. Hunter…any other hobbies besides riding horses?”
“Not really, Sir.  I’m a fairly one-dimensional character made much better by a great actor.”
“I see, Mr. Hunter.  So am I.”
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*Crickets*
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00:06:10 – “Vossler, is that d@mn radio fixed yet? I could have built one, eaten it, passed it through my digestive system, cleaned it off, taken it apart, and rebuilt it again by now.”
“Sorry Sir, the miscalculation also affected my competence.”
“Great…you red-shirt moron.”
“What Sir?”
“Ummm…warp speed, Scotty.” *grumble*

Crimson Tide – The Extended Version (Part 1)

Now I really like the movie ‘Crimson Tide’ just the way it is (despite the best efforts of Simpson/Dreckheimer), but I wonder if anyone’s considered the enormous dramatic possibilities that would be gained by lengthening the wait time at the end.

(SPOILER ALERT!!!).

Like, instead of 3 minutes, have it be…

Oh, I don’t know…let’s say 36 hours.

It would really prolong that period of dramatic tension…and hey, as we all know, the longer something goes on therefore the better it is, right?  (This is for my live-to-1000 fans).

Here’s a sample of just some of what you might get in the “extended” version:

Obviously yeah that stallion bit, but then SO MUCH more!

00:02:30 – “Captain!”
*Denzel and Gene* “What?” *sideways half-glance at each other, maybe a WUH WUH WUHHHH in the background*
“Turns out there was an error in our calculations.  Russians will not have launch capability for 36 hours, Sir!”

00:03:01 – “Well, Mr. Hunter…this is where normally we’d have this resolved by now.  It’s a good thing we made a miscalculation, so we have more time to talk.”
“Yes Sir.”
“Yes Sir, you agree that this would normally have been resolved by now, or Yes Sir, you agree that it’s a good thing we miscalculated so that we have more time to talk?”
“Yes Sir I agree this would normally have been resolved by now.  Yes Sir, I agree that it’s a good thing we miscalculated.  It’s a good thing because now we both have more time to listen, Sir.  And those horses are from Spain, Sir.”
“Huh…I didn’t think of it in those rather philosophical terms, Mr.  Hunter.  *short pause*  But they are from Portugal.”

Faux News – 11/3/13

So I just found out (cuz why would I ever want to read anything about/by her?) two things, sort of by accident, about Megan Fox.

1) She’s bisexual
2) She’s a sexist MORON

“I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means
they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want
to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.”

But yet you sleep with men. So your men are magically non-dirty?

“They’re boys; they’re easily toyed with.”

Well, in a way…I mean, you have nothing to offer except your body and yet people pay attention to you. Then again, you actually BELIEVE that anyone thinks you have any talent or relevance.

Not sure who’s more stupid. And when you’re older but just as dumb, they won’t care anymore…and you’ll still have no talent or relevance.

I guess it’s ok to be sexist as long as you’re female. Well…not “ok”, but…not QUITE as bad, you know.

In response: I guess a little because she’s a dumba$$ and I deserve it more, and no I wouldn’t.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

I Thought Of Better Ones, But This Is What You Get

Sporting News writer David Steele recently wrote an article in which he placed Eli Manning (as part of the New York Giants) as the “8th worst quarterback situation in the NFL”.

Now, I’m no Eli Manning or Giants fan.  I mean, they cost my Patriots two Super Bowls.

But saying that Eli Manning is, despite two Super Bowl wins and everything he’s done in the past, and based on seven games (less than half of one season), the (at best) 25th best quarterback in the NFL just goes to prove my long-held belief:

David Steele is a moron.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 48)

Ok so I’m doing Star Trek reviews, and I thought of Riley, so then I thought of that episode he actually talks in, and that guy who complains about being in space after he gets that “special” touch and does his internal monologue.  And I think it would have been a LOT better if (using their ability to travel through time to accomplish this) they had that anti-pigs-in-space guy, at the VERY end of his heartfelt rant…PAUSE…and then, in an absolutely FABULOUS and extended syl-la-bles way, belt out his best Thom Yorke and sing “WE DON’T BE-LONG HERE…”, and then just get right back into character.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 47)

SO FCKEN TIRED of the “X has a higher IQ than Einstein!” celebratory, incredulous headlines.

Yeah, so what the fck have they done?  When they USE that IQ to do ANYTHING anywhere NEAR what Einstein did, then it’s a story.  Until then it’s the same as “X is in better baseball shape than Babe Ruth!”.

And even then, ask yourself this:  If you raise your child so worshipful of the idol of knowledge as opposed to FUN and LIVING that they’re as smart as 99.9 percent of adults by the time they’re ten…WTF is wrong with you?

P.S. Some store in England should sell Deli Rice.

P.P.S. Seamentea

A Free One

If you’re thinking about starting your own horrible-movie review blog, here’s a one-size-fits-all starter kit for you.

When you watch your first truly wretched movie (try anything on my F List), review it as follows:

“Well, I’d have t-
Oh, forget it.  Just pretend you’re Tom Servo and you’re interviewing Rick Sloane.”

The reference is the end of ‘Hobgoblins’ MST’d, you can make that as clear as you want.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 46.9)

I don’t have much, but here’s the best of the latest:

Given my seed-sucking on Subeta, I think it’s safe to say the following:
“I am The RestocKing!!!”

When they were describing how Rob Ryan took over a last place defense and is “turning it around” and the usual BS they do when they have nothing smart to talk about, I couldn’t help but groan in that “Oh GOD what a load of sh1t” sort of way.  You know the way.

And then, when his defense (which had already given up 23 points to a team with the brilliant WR tandem of Dobson/Thompkins) allowed a game-winning drive to up the total to 30, I couldn’t help but think of Star Trek, TOS, the last episode: “Now, all the years of training and prep- Ooops, I fcked up.”

Oh, and one final thing…I have a suggestion for an edit on those car commercials about “and” being better than “or”:
*Woman* “Isn’t it great that this car I’m a consumer whore for has blankity-blank AND blankity-blank?”
*Man* “Why yes, fellow consumer whore as I am one as well, it is.  So much better than blankity-blank OR blankity-blank.”
*Woman* “That’d be like stupidexample OR stupidexamplepart2.
(now, the edits…)
*Man* (Or woman, choose the order, it doesn’t matter) “Ummm…not really, actually.  By the way, why are we having this inane fcking conversation?”

OR:
*Man* “Yeah…and is so much better.”
*Woman* “So you’d like a kick in the groin AND a night of frigid non-sex?”

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 45)

Ok, now I understand when people say that some people take sports WAY too seriously, it’s just a game, etc etc etc.  I agree.

But on the other hand, I think it’s equally as absurd to either:
1) HATE sports, as if they are a tool of evil (they’re JUST GAMES, right?  How can you HATE games?????)
or…
2) Believe that every male that likes sports is by definition a moron.  That’s just dumb.  I mean, if you think all football players are just big dumb fat guys, try memorizing an NFL playbook.  You don’t even have to move a muscle, just read one, and be able to recite exactly what you would do on every play based on what every other player does.  Purely intellectual.

Apparently advertising people subscribe to this notion as well, based on the following ad:

Coors Light Commercial.  Everyone in the bar is always smiling. 

Cut away, cut back: SMILE…

another cut, SMILE…

another…SMILE.

It’s like, with Coors Light they smile about EVERYTHING?

“Hey, good to see you!” SMILE

“You look really great!” SMILE

“Oh sh1t, I gotta go take a piss!” SMILE

“FCK!  I just spilled my beer!” SMILE

“OMG I don’t believe she shot me down!!!” SMILE

“I drank WAY too much, man, I feel like I’m gonna vomit all over you!” SMILE

The Spock Delusion

If you ever encounter a CA/A who invokes Spock in their argument/defense/overall attitude, feel free to make them aware of the following:

1) Spock (as with all Vulcans, not because he was half-human) was an extremely emotional being.  Because he suppressed these emotions does not mean they did not exist.  If any actual research had been done, as is the CA/A MO, this would have been known to them.

2) Many Vulcans are theists, if you know what “theism” means in the broadest (real) sense.

Same-Day Edit: It’s actually…well, not amazing, knowing them…but remarkable that trying to find ANY reference to “theism” anywhere that could possibly in any way be seen as unarguably positive or even non-negative is a ‘1984’ like struggle against the Ministry of Truth.  I mean, I could’ve SWORN that the last time I looked up “Vulcan” on Wikipedia, it said they were theists.  But this time, that section is completely absent…ALMOST as if someone had intentionally gone in and removed it retroactively for (mis?)information purposes.  So, I went to several other sources to verify the FACT that at least some Vulcans are, in FACT, theists.  Fictionally, of course.  But isn’t it sad how rabid these people are?  I mean, I knew CA/A’s aspired to worldwide propaganda, but if you have to turn into Big Brother to denounce “brainwashing”…well…ummm…yeah.

Ridding The World Of All Known Problems

What does that? Antitheism, of course! A lack of religion would eliminate all the world’s problems.

In other news, North Korean leader’s ex-girlfriend executed by firing squad for making porn.

Well…there goes that theory.

Thanks CA/A’s, GREAT idea! (Re: JJ – MPFC, “HTDI”)

I mean, my position is SO EASY! I don’t have to prove that religion is “good”, I merely have to prove that evil fcked up sh1t would happen COMPLETELY WITHOUT religion. Personally, I feel a bit let down…I was hoping for a challenge. :(

-Puppy >.< Yip!

5/17/16: Rumors of her death may have been greatly exaggerated. But if you’re POINTING THAT OUT – that is to say, if you’re trying to show that North Korean leadership “isn’t all that bad…” – just to back up your obvious bullsh1t hypothesis…you really need to rethink your priorities.

8/12/16: Just a little clean-up. But hey, check out ‘There They Go, Satisfied Customers By The Thousands!”. That’s some funny stuff.

A Theory – And It’s Mine

Well, it’s more of a theory in the Anne Elk sense…that is, it’s an obvious fact to anyone but a MORON.

Ahem…ahem…

AHEM!

As I’ve said countless times (well, I could count, but that’d be boring and I’m on a roll) before, religion can NEVER be done away with.  I’d like to explain that I put the word “never” in all caps for reasons of emphasis.  NEVER.  As in, not ever.  *Knock Knock* Hello…hello, McFly?

As extremely reluctant Einstein-esque quotee Spock is oft quoted as saying FOR CA/A’s: “Yield to the logic of the situation.”

Would Spock pursue an impossible goal?  No.  That would be illogical.  A silly, pointless, illogical human reaction.  Spock would accept as reality the facts of the situation.  And he would move on.  Not to mention that Vulcans are THEISTS, but that’s beside the point.

I mean, it simply cannot be done.  It’d be like saying to him “Spock, our group wants to work on computing the exact numerical value of Pi.”  He would look at you, probably with a raised eyebrow, explain how that was impossible, and politely decline to join your waste of time.

“Computer.  This is a class A compulsory directive.  Compute to the last digit the value of Pi.  *Pause* As we know, the value of Pi is a transcendental figure without resolution.  The computer banks will work on this problem, to the exclusion of all else, until we order it to stop.” – ST: TOS, ‘Wolf In The Fold’

CAN’T BE DONE.  Understand?  CANNOT.  No.  Never.  Ever.  Impossible.  There will ALWAYS be theists.  Always.  Forever and ever.  And if all current theists stopped believing and all religions were done away with (ALREADY an IMPOSSIBILITY), people would MAKE UP NEW ONES!!!  What the Hell is wrong with you people?  My lack of God, it’s annoying!!!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Chiot Est Mort. Vive Chiot.

Pretentious? MOI??? (Re: JJ – Diane and RC).

So an update on the great Neopets saga that I just KNOW you’re going to love:  (Re: JJ – MPFC)

New account, 1st place in LCL recovered.  Ummm…4 times.

So yeah…a fluke and all. 

Meaningless?  Sure!  But I just have a RtH attitude toward proving people wrong when they act like…mmmm…so on and so on.  (Re: JJ – MPFC)

HA HA HA HA HA I AM the God, I AM THE GODDD!!! (Re: JJ – Frank)

MINE MINE MINE DOWN DOWN BACK BACK MINE MINE!!! (Re: JJ – DD)

-Puppy >.< Yip!

To The DOSASS (Part 5)

You know, being under this Denial (well, sort of) Of Service attack, it kinda makes me feel like the high court has sentenced me to TORTURE.

And if you ever stop, I’ll probably be thinking to myself, somewhat wistfully for some reason, “What about TORTURE??”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

P.S. Oh yeah, since I got more hits yesterday than in any single day for the past two weeks, let me just repeat this gentle assertion/question: You’re not a very GOOD hacker, are you?

NeoPets – The Tomb Of The Unknown Score

First, an explanation/warning of a problem I encountered on Neopets.

Second, a general NeoPets review (Hey come on, I put seven/eight solid days of work into this!).

Fifth, a description of screen shots I have and how they’re relevant.  No, I’m not going to upload them.  Why?  Because I don’t care if you believe me, and because you probably are bored by this enough already.

NOW THEN:

Well, let me just use mostly email quotes from me and TNT (That’s an acronym for The Neopets Team, for those in the know).

8/9: Timeline event – Neopets account created.

8/13: 1st place overall score, listed in BIG LETTERS on a game page, held by me, vanishes.  Now, and this becomes important later on, notice the month of creation and the month of high score gaining.  YES!  They’re the same!

8/13-8/14: Mentioned problem, got this response: “We will look into it Thanks!”

8/16: Wrote to ask about progress of looking, since score still gone and no info given.  Received this response: “Thank you for contacting us via the Feedback form. If, in fact, you have an actual support issue regarding your account, please submit a ticket here:”.  No, I don’t have an actual support issue, I’m quite deliberately wasting your time.  Well, except for the deleted/vanished score support issue, there’s that.

8/19: From me: “It’s been four days, my ticket has been closed without resolution, only reopened when I suggested I was considering writing about the state of Neopets customer service, and still I’ve received absolutely no idea whatsoever why my number one score in Lost City Lanes was deleted, after having been delayed acceptance to VERIFY legitimacy, and then approved.  And posted to the high score list, giving me a trophy I still have even though according to the game itself, I have NEVER played it.
 
So, just letting you know I’m working on my piece.  If you’re not going to do anything about it, the least you can do is tell me “We’re not going to do anything about it” instead of just…nothing.  Let me know, thanks.”

8/21: …As for your score, High Score trophies are awarded only once per day, sometime in the early morning Neopian Standard Time. In order to receive a trophy you will need to be in a qualifying position in the High Score Table at that exact moment. If you send
a qualifying score after this time you’ll need to maintain your top spot to qualify for the next day’s trophy.

Please note that scores being reviewed are NOT posted until the score has been approved by our moderation team. This means that it will not post to the High Score table, no matter how awesome your score was, until it’s approved. By the time it is approved
the score may no longer qualify for a trophy but this is not a bug, just how the system works…

8/21: My response: “Hello.  The fact that I have a 1st place trophy in Lost City Lanes is proof, by your own words, that I MUST have achieved a top three score, this month (since this is my first month of playing), in Lost City Lanes that was accepted and posted to the high score table.  I have screen shots to verify this.
 
My score was reviewed, and accepted.  And I have screen shots of this as well.  A few days later, it was deleted, after I received the proper trophy for having the number one overall score, which I worked very hard to get.  The deletion came without any explanation whatsoever, and after nearly a week there is still no explanation.  I can only infer from that that Neopets does not thoroughly investigate such matters, for if you did you would certainly have a reason for the deletion of my high score, or at least could have been able to tell me what you just told me, which is nothing I didn’t already know, almost a week ago when I first mentioned the problem.
 
I will no longer be using Neopets, and I will be posting a message concerning these events to inform anyone who may be playing/thinking of playing of what can happen to something that you work very hard to get, using the screen shots and information I have gathered.
 
Thank you, and goodbye.”

Part Two:

Suggested new NP ad slogan:
Neopets: Your home for more ads than Live365!

OR, you can pay 8 bucks a month and they take away the ads.  And that’s about it.  Really…the “extras” are inconsequential except for the SSW (Super Shop Wizard), and if you think you really NEED that, just remember: It’s a GAME…”Neopoints” don’t actually exist.  It’s a bunch of pixels on a screen that you’re paying 8 bucks a month to see slightly altered.

In all honesty, the games (a lot of them, at least) are top-notch as far as simple online goes.  But that doesn’t get any better for 8 bucks a month, and when your number one score in a game can get mysteriously deleted by a HUGE company that should have software that excludes the “random deletion” effect, it takes away a bit of the fun.

Part Three:

ScreenShot 1: My adorable sweet cute lovey-dovey sweet little first-place trophy!
SS 2: My account info, showing I started on 8/9 and had been playing for 3 days.
SS 3: My “High Scores” list…Lost City Lanes not there! :(
SS 4: Ticket submitted on 8/14 explaining problem IN DETAIL
SS 5: This is my favorite…it’s a screenshot of the game Lost City Lanes, and it shows that my high score for the month is “N/A” and my high score OF ALL TIME is “N/A”.  So, basically, I have a 1st place trophy for a game I NEVER PLAYED.  That’s just priceless.
SS 6: Screenshot of my ticket being “Reopened” VERY soon after I wrote and complained and mentioned that I might complain publicly about bad CS…now ain’t that a coincidunce! Nyuk nyuk nyuk…
SS 7: Ummm…just a later copy of 6, with nothing being done after 4-5 days.
SS 8: Ummm…see above.  Redundancy, you know, Mr. Hunter.
SS 9: Screenshot showing the “My Support” section, which vanishes conveniently whenever I REALLY want to look at it, or if I complain (for a while).  Naughty me!
SS 10: Screenshot showing the entire “Help” section after I complained again, which is mysteriously completely blank (see above).

Hope you enjoyed this!  If you did, I’m Puppy!  If not, I’m Penn and Teller!

-Puppy >.< Yip!