Category: I Am Puppy Hear Me Degrade

Ridding The World Of All Known Problems

What does that? Antitheism, of course! A lack of religion would eliminate all the world’s problems.

In other news, North Korean leader’s ex-girlfriend executed by firing squad for making porn.

Well…there goes that theory.

Thanks CA/A’s, GREAT idea! (Re: JJ – MPFC, “HTDI”)

I mean, my position is SO EASY! I don’t have to prove that religion is “good”, I merely have to prove that evil fcked up sh1t would happen COMPLETELY WITHOUT religion. Personally, I feel a bit let down…I was hoping for a challenge. :(

-Puppy >.< Yip!

5/17/16: Rumors of her death may have been greatly exaggerated. But if you’re POINTING THAT OUT – that is to say, if you’re trying to show that North Korean leadership “isn’t all that bad…” – just to back up your obvious bullsh1t hypothesis…you really need to rethink your priorities.

8/12/16: Just a little clean-up. But hey, check out ‘There They Go, Satisfied Customers By The Thousands!”. That’s some funny stuff.

A Theory – And It’s Mine

Well, it’s more of a theory in the Anne Elk sense…that is, it’s an obvious fact to anyone but a MORON.

Ahem…ahem…

AHEM!

As I’ve said countless times (well, I could count, but that’d be boring and I’m on a roll) before, religion can NEVER be done away with.  I’d like to explain that I put the word “never” in all caps for reasons of emphasis.  NEVER.  As in, not ever.  *Knock Knock* Hello…hello, McFly?

As extremely reluctant Einstein-esque quotee Spock is oft quoted as saying FOR CA/A’s: “Yield to the logic of the situation.”

Would Spock pursue an impossible goal?  No.  That would be illogical.  A silly, pointless, illogical human reaction.  Spock would accept as reality the facts of the situation.  And he would move on.  Not to mention that Vulcans are THEISTS, but that’s beside the point.

I mean, it simply cannot be done.  It’d be like saying to him “Spock, our group wants to work on computing the exact numerical value of Pi.”  He would look at you, probably with a raised eyebrow, explain how that was impossible, and politely decline to join your waste of time.

“Computer.  This is a class A compulsory directive.  Compute to the last digit the value of Pi.  *Pause* As we know, the value of Pi is a transcendental figure without resolution.  The computer banks will work on this problem, to the exclusion of all else, until we order it to stop.” – ST: TOS, ‘Wolf In The Fold’

CAN’T BE DONE.  Understand?  CANNOT.  No.  Never.  Ever.  Impossible.  There will ALWAYS be theists.  Always.  Forever and ever.  And if all current theists stopped believing and all religions were done away with (ALREADY an IMPOSSIBILITY), people would MAKE UP NEW ONES!!!  What the Hell is wrong with you people?  My lack of God, it’s annoying!!!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Chiot Est Mort. Vive Chiot.

Pretentious? MOI??? (Re: JJ – Diane and RC).

So an update on the great Neopets saga that I just KNOW you’re going to love:  (Re: JJ – MPFC)

New account, 1st place in LCL recovered.  Ummm…4 times.

So yeah…a fluke and all. 

Meaningless?  Sure!  But I just have a RtH attitude toward proving people wrong when they act like…mmmm…so on and so on.  (Re: JJ – MPFC)

HA HA HA HA HA I AM the God, I AM THE GODDD!!! (Re: JJ – Frank)

MINE MINE MINE DOWN DOWN BACK BACK MINE MINE!!! (Re: JJ – DD)

-Puppy >.< Yip!

To The DOSASS (Part 5)

You know, being under this Denial (well, sort of) Of Service attack, it kinda makes me feel like the high court has sentenced me to TORTURE.

And if you ever stop, I’ll probably be thinking to myself, somewhat wistfully for some reason, “What about TORTURE??”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

P.S. Oh yeah, since I got more hits yesterday than in any single day for the past two weeks, let me just repeat this gentle assertion/question: You’re not a very GOOD hacker, are you?

NeoPets – The Tomb Of The Unknown Score

First, an explanation/warning of a problem I encountered on Neopets.

Second, a general NeoPets review (Hey come on, I put seven/eight solid days of work into this!).

Fifth, a description of screen shots I have and how they’re relevant.  No, I’m not going to upload them.  Why?  Because I don’t care if you believe me, and because you probably are bored by this enough already.

NOW THEN:

Well, let me just use mostly email quotes from me and TNT (That’s an acronym for The Neopets Team, for those in the know).

8/9: Timeline event – Neopets account created.

8/13: 1st place overall score, listed in BIG LETTERS on a game page, held by me, vanishes.  Now, and this becomes important later on, notice the month of creation and the month of high score gaining.  YES!  They’re the same!

8/13-8/14: Mentioned problem, got this response: “We will look into it Thanks!”

8/16: Wrote to ask about progress of looking, since score still gone and no info given.  Received this response: “Thank you for contacting us via the Feedback form. If, in fact, you have an actual support issue regarding your account, please submit a ticket here:”.  No, I don’t have an actual support issue, I’m quite deliberately wasting your time.  Well, except for the deleted/vanished score support issue, there’s that.

8/19: From me: “It’s been four days, my ticket has been closed without resolution, only reopened when I suggested I was considering writing about the state of Neopets customer service, and still I’ve received absolutely no idea whatsoever why my number one score in Lost City Lanes was deleted, after having been delayed acceptance to VERIFY legitimacy, and then approved.  And posted to the high score list, giving me a trophy I still have even though according to the game itself, I have NEVER played it.
 
So, just letting you know I’m working on my piece.  If you’re not going to do anything about it, the least you can do is tell me “We’re not going to do anything about it” instead of just…nothing.  Let me know, thanks.”

8/21: …As for your score, High Score trophies are awarded only once per day, sometime in the early morning Neopian Standard Time. In order to receive a trophy you will need to be in a qualifying position in the High Score Table at that exact moment. If you send
a qualifying score after this time you’ll need to maintain your top spot to qualify for the next day’s trophy.

Please note that scores being reviewed are NOT posted until the score has been approved by our moderation team. This means that it will not post to the High Score table, no matter how awesome your score was, until it’s approved. By the time it is approved
the score may no longer qualify for a trophy but this is not a bug, just how the system works…

8/21: My response: “Hello.  The fact that I have a 1st place trophy in Lost City Lanes is proof, by your own words, that I MUST have achieved a top three score, this month (since this is my first month of playing), in Lost City Lanes that was accepted and posted to the high score table.  I have screen shots to verify this.
 
My score was reviewed, and accepted.  And I have screen shots of this as well.  A few days later, it was deleted, after I received the proper trophy for having the number one overall score, which I worked very hard to get.  The deletion came without any explanation whatsoever, and after nearly a week there is still no explanation.  I can only infer from that that Neopets does not thoroughly investigate such matters, for if you did you would certainly have a reason for the deletion of my high score, or at least could have been able to tell me what you just told me, which is nothing I didn’t already know, almost a week ago when I first mentioned the problem.
 
I will no longer be using Neopets, and I will be posting a message concerning these events to inform anyone who may be playing/thinking of playing of what can happen to something that you work very hard to get, using the screen shots and information I have gathered.
 
Thank you, and goodbye.”

Part Two:

Suggested new NP ad slogan:
Neopets: Your home for more ads than Live365!

OR, you can pay 8 bucks a month and they take away the ads.  And that’s about it.  Really…the “extras” are inconsequential except for the SSW (Super Shop Wizard), and if you think you really NEED that, just remember: It’s a GAME…”Neopoints” don’t actually exist.  It’s a bunch of pixels on a screen that you’re paying 8 bucks a month to see slightly altered.

In all honesty, the games (a lot of them, at least) are top-notch as far as simple online goes.  But that doesn’t get any better for 8 bucks a month, and when your number one score in a game can get mysteriously deleted by a HUGE company that should have software that excludes the “random deletion” effect, it takes away a bit of the fun.

Part Three:

ScreenShot 1: My adorable sweet cute lovey-dovey sweet little first-place trophy!
SS 2: My account info, showing I started on 8/9 and had been playing for 3 days.
SS 3: My “High Scores” list…Lost City Lanes not there! :(
SS 4: Ticket submitted on 8/14 explaining problem IN DETAIL
SS 5: This is my favorite…it’s a screenshot of the game Lost City Lanes, and it shows that my high score for the month is “N/A” and my high score OF ALL TIME is “N/A”.  So, basically, I have a 1st place trophy for a game I NEVER PLAYED.  That’s just priceless.
SS 6: Screenshot of my ticket being “Reopened” VERY soon after I wrote and complained and mentioned that I might complain publicly about bad CS…now ain’t that a coincidunce! Nyuk nyuk nyuk…
SS 7: Ummm…just a later copy of 6, with nothing being done after 4-5 days.
SS 8: Ummm…see above.  Redundancy, you know, Mr. Hunter.
SS 9: Screenshot showing the “My Support” section, which vanishes conveniently whenever I REALLY want to look at it, or if I complain (for a while).  Naughty me!
SS 10: Screenshot showing the entire “Help” section after I complained again, which is mysteriously completely blank (see above).

Hope you enjoyed this!  If you did, I’m Puppy!  If not, I’m Penn and Teller!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

To The DOSASS (Part 3)

Since my hit total is pretty stable, if not up, since the attack began, and since the only thing it’s forced me to do is click a different button here and there, I have to say this to you:

You’re not a very GOOD hacker, are you?

-Puppy >.< Yip!

P.S. – GoDaddy does not count “pings” toward the daily hit total.  So no, the hits are not you.  The hits are other people, despite you.

With that in mind, I think I can safely refer to this as, instead of a “Denial of Service” attack, a “Slight Uptick in Service and Revitalization of Inspiration for Owner of Site as Shown by Recent ‘I am Feeling Uninspired’ Post” attack.

But by golly, it’s working!

NSA Please Do Not Read This Post

How to know you’ve sorta kinda made it: become the target of a Denial Of Service attack.

Now, I appreciate someone attempting to hack me as much as the next guy, but it is illegal. 

Thus the disclaimer as the title for the post.  Because it certainly would be a shame if the NSA, which monitors all online communications, were to read this and find out that an illegal activity had occurred.  Why, they might even investigate.  So, please…don’t read this.  Thank you.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

P.S. Thanks for the material, DOS guy/girl/entity/it.

Gilliam Vs. Spielberg

Ok, so recently Terry Gilliam made a comment something to the effect of: Steven Spielberg isn’t a very good director, he just makes predictable and formulaic movies for the masses complete with happy endings.

Now, I LIKE Terry Gilliam (at least, his work) but he’s clearly always been a little bit insane (watch ‘Flying Circus’…no, he wasn’t on drugs) which tends to add to his work sometimes, but it makes his serious commentary, well at least in this case, suck.

Spielberg’s ‘Minority Report’ (based on a Philip K. Dick novel, I know, but Gilliam said “director”, not “writer” or “complete comptroller”) is brilliant.

Introducing Gilliam to that equation would have gone pretty much like the Python equation: he hovers behind MUCH more talented people (Idle, Cleese especially) and chimes in with the occasional bit of fun nonsense.

In order for Spielberg/Gilliam ‘Minority Report’ to have been as good, Spielberg would have had to be in charge of 98 percent of it, and Gilliam the other 2.

1 percent of that would be his inspired creativity that was the equal of Spielberg’s (I’d say 98:1 is a fair ratio of talent) and the other 1 percent would be the same as from Python: nonsense, inane/insane surreal references given meaning only by those that adore French cinema (see Python’s ‘French Film Sketch’) and, of course, a confusing ending.  In fact, the ending is the ONLY thing Gilliam could really improve…he’d get his 2 percent there.  Maybe.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

What A Silly Bint

Bint Alshamsa: (Responses in parentheses)

“X, Y, Z, and all of the other butthurt white people on this thread:”

(How very Christian of her…obviously she means “butthurt” in the non-pejorative sense)

“Racism against white people never occurs. It is, in fact, impossible.”

(I see…)

“Racism is power plus prejudice”

(Mathematical equivalent: Racism = X, Power = Y, Prejudice = Z.  Therefore, the statement is: “X = Y + Z”)

“there are people of color in positions of power”

(Mathematical equivalent: Y is present in (some) people of color)

“Prejudice is simply the prejudging of a person without knowing them.”

(So, in order to make the mathematical model above NOT apply, you would have to say: no non-white person has ever, in any way, shape or form, prejudged a white person without knowing them, while also being in any position of power in any way, shape, or form.  Oh…I don’t know…)

“Arabs can’t ever be racist against Black people”

(See Above)

“Chinese people can’t ever be racist against Japanese people.”

(See Above)

“Japanese people can’t be racist against Chinese people.”

(See Above)

“Aaron, I’d let you remain ignorant and sit back and laugh. However, because I love white people, I’m not going to do that.”

“If I hated you, I’d just let you remain ignorant and sit back and laugh.”

“Who do you think it was that made it necessary for people of color to bring the case before the Supreme Court? I’ll give you a hint. It starts with “white” and ends in “people”. LOL”

“You lose. LOL”

“By the way, I can’t stop laughing…”

(Hmmmmmmmmmm…)

“@Aaron it always amuses me when white people like you try to blame people of color for your racism.”

(“White people like me”?  That sounds a bit…oh, nevermind.  But anyway, moving on…ummm…first of all, I’m not a racist.  Second of all, I didn’t try to blame anyone for me not being a racist.  Third…your argument is inventing itself and fulfilling itself, but is completely false.)

“You’re a racist”

(Well that’s just not true…and it’s certainly not a nice thing to say in a public forum.)

“you want to be one”

(I do?  I didn’t know that…)

“Adults take responsibility for their behavior.”

(And, since you’re an adult, your statements are your responsibility, by your own argument.)

“They don’t try to blame other people.”

(So, again, by your own argument, you won’t blame me for pointing out what you did, in fact, write in a public forum.  Great, thanks.)

“White people don’t get to decide what’s racist.”

(Wow…who does?  Everyone else?  Sounds a bit…oh, nevermind…)

“white people don’t get to decide what’s racist, even when they get really butthurt because they can’t make decisions for the rest of the world any more”

(Wow…what’s with the butthurt thing?  And you’re suggesting that ALL white people want to make ALL decisions for the entire world?  That sounds a bit…oh, nevermind…)

“As I told Aaron, the kidnapping and trafficking and enslavement and rape and torture and lynching and genocide of millions upon millions of people of color is far more than just rude, but you have no problem remaining complicit in that.”

(You suggested that, because someone disagreed with your definition of racism, that they “condone…kidnapping, trafficking, enslavement and rape and torture and lynching and genocide of millions upon millions of people of color”.  Hmmmm…sounds like someone needs a nap.)

“…you just don’t want to hear if from a woman of color…”

(Yes, white people would completely accept BS statements if only a white person had made them…that’s why white people never argue with each other, because it’s a vast conspiracy…???)

“…Japanese and Chinese people ARE the same race.”

(Wow…I did not know that.  I still don’t.)

“Slavery only went away when enough white people started dying on plantations and it stopped being a sustainable way for lazy people to get rich.”

(This is my favorite: Slavery did NOT go away because the Union beat the Confederacy.  The Confederacy was going to immediately end slavery regardless of the outcome of the Civil War.  Don’t laugh at me, I’m just trying to translate into non-fanatic here…)

“…folks like you thought it was a-okay to call us your slaves.”

(To someone else, but basically directed at white people.  Yeah…I feel the guilt, really.  I mean…folks like me.  You know, people with the same skin pigmentation, who otherwise have nothing to do with me.)

“…you don’t get to decide who can be rude.”

(Do you?)

“I can’t force any white person here to let go of their racist attitudes.”

(But you gave it a DARN good try.)

“Aaron, actually, I still don’t coddle racists like you.”

(So, again, you’re calling me a racist in a public forum.  Very Christian.)

“Aaron’s pro tips:  2. Assume that ignorance is a valid excuse for being a white racist.”

(WAIT A MINUTE!  You said “white racist”.  Why did you say that?  Since, according to everything you’ve said before, ONLY whites can be racist.  Therefore, to say “white racist” is, by your own definition, redundant.  Unless of course you mean there can be other types of racists…but that goes against everything you’ve said previously.  You SEEM too eloquent to be TOTALLY redundant…Hmmmm…)

“By Aaron’s logic: Rapists should be the ONLY people allowed to decide when raped women have a right to get upset.”

(All levity aside, that’s INCREDIBLY insulting and, of course, blatantly untrue.)

“Aaron, feel free to sue me.”

(Well, you never know…)

“Aaron 2: white people should be allowed to rape, torture, enslave, and lynch people of color, since sometimes people of color are rude to them”

(I have no response to this…I would just suggest looking up “libel”)

“Aaron 3: Jesus is totally cool with Aaron defending the rape, torture, trafficking, enslavement and lynching of people of color, but he will smite anyone who is rude to those who defend these atrocities.”

(See Above)

“Aaron, you’re offended? Aww! You know what else is offensive? Being a racist. However, that doesn’t stop you.”

(It doesn’t make me happy at all to be the subject of potentially libelous statements, Bint. It actually offends me deeply. But if you want…)

Finally, to close, a question and answer…question asked by another person, and answered by me:

“Aaron…..are…you willing to say/type/admit that racism, whites towards minorities, in this country, is an ongoing, real and major problem?”

Yes, I am. Yes, it is.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

My Third Comedy Routine – By Puppy

If they haven’t thought of/done this already, why not?, and here you go:

After obtaining any and all necessary permissions – Do a mix of the original Aerosmith song “Nobody’s Fault”, leaving it as is except putting in Phil Hartman saying “Fobody’s Nault!” at the appropriate places, and going through his whole “Fobody’s Nault” routine during the end outro.

*Pause inserted because I have no link*  (WAIT…something about ‘Night In The Ruts’.)

I mourn the death, or at least extreme decline, of the term “mailman”.  Because no longer can one say “Well, what other kind of man is there?” at the appropriate times.  Although the replacement term, “mail carrier”, does have myriad disease-joke possibilities.

And of course, there’s always the old (or maybe not) “I’m waiting for the mailman to come” phrase that is just RIPE for jokes.  “Why are you waiting for him to come?”, “Maybe you should help”, “So you want him to deliver your mail? (of course!) What did you order a male for? (Huh?) You’re waiting for a male, right? (No, THE mail) THE male?  You mean like, one of the Beastie Boys? (WTF are you talking about?)”…and so on, and so on.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 43)

“U.S. Readies Sale Of Reaper Drones To France” -Agence France Presse

When asked for comment on why they wanted so many of the drones, a French spokesman responded: “We GOTTA have more cowbell, baby.”

(free sample)

In the extremely unlikely event anyone ever actually asks me out on a date again and I want to say yes, I believe I will respond thusly:

“Well…beat’s scrubbin’ grout with a toothbrush.”

(there ya are, two for one!)

Oh GOD I’d love to learn French.  Such a beautiful language.

I mean, they think well, don’t they?  I mean, be fair…

Oh well, c’est la vie.

(Why don’t, wh- RUFF!)

ALL Dae, and ALL of the night! (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

“(Era Nocturna) Against my better judgment I’m going to respond to this in the hopes that maybe you’ll garner some sort of insight into yourself. My reasoning for ceasing contact with you had nothing to do with the review…”

You stopped chatting with me IMMEDIATELY after reading my review.  So…let’s go with an MST quote here re: your statement – “Oh, I don’t know…”

“It had to do with your behavior. You were immature and acted like someone who had absolutely zero control over their emotions and their impulse control.”

You mean like you after reading my review?  Oh!

“For those reasons I decided to cease contact with you because I have absolutely zero room or time in my life for someone who is mentally unbalanced who shows signs of being so.”

Really?  You’re in your life, and you told me in a chat that you had a major mental disorder.
One that a lot of people, if I remember correctly, “couldn’t deal with” or “had problems with”…something to that effect.  Unsure of the EXACT quote, but something to that effect.

“Furthermore when I blocked you, you went on to harass my friends”

Which friends are you talking about?  I only know (beyond names on a page) one person, to the best of my knowledge/recollection, that you know.

“and then when they blocked you, you attempted to badmouth me in public further showing that you are not to be trusted”

Badmouth you in public???  I made a JOKE and a REVIEW.  It’s called comedy/satire/criticism.  Thicken that skin, girl.  And the “not to be trusted” part reeks a bit of paranoia, to me…
Also, “badmouth” you “in public”?  REALLY?  Let’s think about that…I have a PUBLIC WEBSITE.  If I wanted, TWO YEARS AGO, to “badmouth” you…where, perchance, do you think I MIGHT do it, logically?  I mean…AFTER you stopped chatting with me (check the date if you want) I went back and RE-REVIEWED your album.  I corrected what I saw were FAULTS in my original review, and then gave it a B-…the EXACT SAME GRADE.  If I wanted to “badmouth” you, WHY, pray tell, would I say your album was pretty good?

“and that you are mentally incapable of handling rejection”

You mean like you after…oh, whatever.

“and you are frighteningly unstable.”

I’m a marvel of modern science.

“So, in short, now that I have no “career” to protect: Kindly go crawl back to the hole you crawled out of and go kill yourself.”

So you wanted me to kill myself all along, but just hid that because you wanted free pub?  Ever see ‘Rejected’?  You know, the part where the caption is: “I am a consumer whore!” and the other guy is saying “And how!”.  That’s a good one.  I review that here too.
Also, by your own admission, you are no longer a public figure.  Thanks.

And, regarding my death, I seem to recall from a conversation with ummm…the one person friends unit, that they were actually quite concerned for my well-being.  I mean, I don’t KNOW this, but it seemed like, when they talked to me, they were sort of afraid that YOU might do something to try to hurt me.  And this isn’t a person that scares easily, from what I’ve seen/observed. 
Just an observation.

“By the way – your behavior is grossly inappropriate and is a sure sign of borderline personality disorder.”

Is that the one you have?  Or was it another one?  I forget which one you told me you had…I know it was relatively major, though.

“I highly recommend you seek DBT therapy”

Can I join your group?

“or, as I said above, die. Because your life is in serious risk of sucking for the remainder of whatever time you have left because absolutely NO ONE wants to know someone with BPD. You ALL suck because you’re psychos.”

Wait, how can you want me to get “help” if “NO ONE” will ever want to know me because I “suck”, according to your semi-professional psychiatric diagnosis?  And again…isn’t that, ummm…the illness that you said…well, nevermind. 
You know people, though, I’m pretty sure of that. 
Well, I may suck, but only at first.  Then I keep on suckin’ and I succeed.

Hey, good luck with your care…oh, nevermind.

I think I love you. Again. WAIT! No…yes….no….MAYBE….no. YES!…no.

P.S. – quote of “Era Nocturna” is in fact the words of Dae Noctem (I think, unless someone’s typing for her), no message to/from any other member of the band Era Nocturna is expressed or implied, implicitly or explicitly.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 42)

“Ignorance is bliss” is an imprecise statement.

Is = to be.

Ignorance = lack of knowledge.

So basically, “ignorance is the equivalent of bliss” or “ignorance is the root/cause of bliss”.

Which is false, since I know plenty of ignorant people that are really unhappy, and…well, actually NOONE isn’t ignorant.  Of SOMETHING.  Unless you know everything there is to know…and I don’t think any one person does…you are, in at least one sense, ignorant.

Therefore, the statement implies all people are blissful, which is not only imprecise it’s also COMPLETELY inaccurate.

I suppose it makes sense as a metaphor, perhaps…but are metaphors really logical?  And even if they are, are they appropriate for “logic statements”?

I mean, according to this analogy (Hey!  That’s what it could be!) the more ignorant a person is, the happier they are.  Therefore, the opposite must be true: the more a person learns, the less happy they become.

Hmmm…maybe there’s more to the Cthulhu mythos than I thought…

Quote Me On This

Here’s what will happen (well, it’s already happening, but…and I think I said this before, but just in case I didn’t…)

1) CA/A’s will throw off their chains and yell and scream with FUUURRR-ious anger.
2) Some non-CA/A’s will be offended and engage, others will ignore.
3) Conversations/arguments will go nowhere, but continue for no adequately explored/explained reason.
4) I will rip Douglas Adams just to piss off CA/A’s, even though he’s overrated.
5) CA/A’s will obtain marvelous accomplishments such as a bench, an organization, and a catchphrase for me.
6) Non-CA/A’s will find that the CA/A’s grow tiresome and cease engaging.
6.9) CA/A’s will gradually grow tired of screaming as they have fewer and fewer things to scream about, leaving only a small, borderline-lunatic fringe still screaming.
7) World will continue, ignoring this fringe group as it ignores other fringe groups.
8) CA/A’s will live in own world, because insulation protects against reality.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

In Living Colour!

“…(Pope) Francis apparently objected to the statue on account of his abhorrence of the cult of personality…”

From The Huffington Post, article by Paul Brandeis Raushenbush.

“Personality cults were first described in relation to totalitarian
regimes that sought to alter or transform society according to
radical ideas…Often, a single leader became associated with this revolutionary transformation, and came to be treated as a benevolent “guide” for the nation without whom the transformation to a better future couldn’t occur. This has been generally the justification for personality cults that arose in totalitarian societies of the 20th century, such as those of Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini and Joseph Stalin.” – From Wikipedia, “Cult of Personality”

Now if only CA/A COP heads of state (Hello, North Korea!) would follow suit.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

A Plea For (Selective) Ignorance

I am SO sick of the elitist “In the information age, ignorance is a choice” cliche.  Which implies that ignorance is ALWAYS, by definition, bad.

Ignorance(n): The condition of being uninformed or uneducated. Lack of knowledge or information.

What if I just don’t give a fck about something?  I mean, if I’m choosing between Cruise and Hoffman in that hotel, I’m gonna choose to have sex and remain ignorant over choosing to gain “knowledge/information” by reading the phone book.  To “g”…half of g.

I mean, if you really believe it’s better to know the names and numbers of everyone up to half of G in a town you’re never coming back to and know noone in because that’s “information” than to relax and fck around, you are a moron.  Of course, this is just a straw dog.  Or a salad day.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 41)

Marriage is certainly getting a bit more confusing these days, what with the different combinations and all.

SERIOUS NOTE: I support gay marriage and this is a joke, so if you quote me out of context you’re a vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert.

But here, just watch this to see how confusing it can get:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HztsKaQBesg

However, I think the problem can be solved very easily if every couple (or group, if polygamy’s a factor) adopts these simple words as the standard wedding question/response:

“Do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?”
*in unison* “yes”
“Right, go and do your prayer.”

The Acceptable Double-Standard

“REDLANDS, Calif. — A Southern California high school teacher was arrested on unlawful sex charges two weeks after she gave birth to a baby that was allegedly fathered by a student, Redlands police said Tuesday.

Laura Elizabeth Whitehurst, 28, was arrested Monday night for
allegedly having unlawful sex with a 16-year-old, Redlands police
spokesman Carl Baker. She was the boy’s adviser.”

Age of Consent in the state of California: 18

So when a male teacher has sex with an underage female student, it’s rape.

When a female teacher has sex with an underage male student, it’s…well, just kinda naughty.

Exactly where is the “equality” here?

Because you have a vagina it means you can rape kids?

Brilliant comments displaying the wonders of sexist double-standard stupidity:

“It takes 2 to tango! The Boy is the father so why is it a crime? They
both did it so why is she being charged for It? She just gave birth so
let her be. And If the Boy’s mom doesn’t like her then be it. I’m sad
for the baby.”

“16 is not a child. He is old enough to know right from wrong”

(Both of these made by supposedly female commenters).

-Puppy >.< Yip!

From The Department Of Hack Sports Journalism

“The number of player arrests, some of them multiple times, is ballooning. They’re coming too fast, literally one after another.
And too often they include people dying…

The instinctive reaction and easy solution is to lay all the blame on
the player and hold him fully responsible for his own problem and
the taint it gives the league.

But that’s too easy.” – David Steele

Yes, it’s far too easy to go with the easy, logical solution.  Let’s make up a dumba$$ one!

My only question is: Does this guy actually come up with this drivel because he BELIEVES it, or because he’s trying desperately to be interesting but is completely lacking in talent and inspiration?

Oh, also, on a related note…I think The Sporting News should be held responsible for the cr@p written by David Steele.  After all, they signed him, knowing how much he sucked.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Brilliant GoDaddy Customer Service (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

So, 4 and 1/2 days after I received an email saying I would receive another email about my complaint within 24 hours, I call and ask why I haven’t…get an answer, ask if I’ll get an email when it’s resolved…then it goes something like this:

“Yeah, you’ll get an email when it’s resolved.”
*Pause*
“Ok…” *Pause, waiting for further comment*
*None forthcoming* “…thanks.”
*Pause* “Yup.”
*Pause, waiting for further comment*
*None forthcoming* “…bye.”
“Bye.”

I feel special, oh so special.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Edit: Prior to this all my customer service with GoDaddy had been good, and I was responded to nicely regarding this…in the spirit of fairness. :)

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 39)

I think, whenever someone attacks a position I take, and then implies that because they proved me wrong they proved my position itself as completely wrong, it should be called a “Straw Dog”.

Oh, and on a related note…I’d like to collaborate with someone on a remake of Sam Peckinpah’s film ‘Straw Dogs’.  There would be a slight alteration to the script: instead of everything there now, it would consist entirely of people challenging points I’ve made and then saying “Ha!  All similar points are therefore invalid!”

I envision a budget of at least $1000.

I Am Puppy Hear Me Degrade – Sensitive Antitheist Post(s) Of The Day (6/25/13)

I didn’t KNOW this person was a CA/A until after I’d read a couple of their sensitive posts and then looked at their complete collection, but I had this CRAZY HUNCH…anyways here goes:

Regarding the idea of dogs feeling any emotions/To people that suggest anything of the sort:

“Animals form bonds, yes, as do molecules.”

“If you knew what real love was you wouldn’t be looking for it in a dog.”

“Once you know what it means to be human, you won’t be worried about animals.”

– He’s a lighthaus.  Your call.

Harshlands MUD

So I fled FK seeking asylum in HL.  Unfortunately…

Ok, I make my first character.  Spend HOURS (really!) working on his personality, background, mannerisms, motivations…submit him.  His description gets altered by a helpful Imm (cuz he thought it’d be cooler that way, not cuz it was in any way “incorrect” or “improper”), then I start out.

About 34 real hours of playing later, I’ve had about…I’ll say a good SOLID 30 minutes of roleplay.

Ok, so I decide: Every place you can possibly start, except the main city, you’re gonna be alone most of the time.  So unless you enjoy typing craft commands repeatedly for days until you see a tiny increase in proficiency and emoting to NPC’s that never (in my experience) respond, you havta start there.

So I start there.

Initially it starts out good, actually.  There’s other characters there, I can actually roleplay, etc…
And most of them are pretty good.

Then I go back on, walk into a tavern (everyone hangs out in taverns, even the nobles…it’s the thing) and a PC that’s a follower of the Goddess of Peace, whose followers are all supposed to be gentle and kind pacifists, acts like a total twat.  I mean, I have nothing against other PC’s treating my PC-of-the-moment like sh1t…if it’s in character.  But this is just some low-grade no-talent clueless player who has no idea about the Goddess she serves.  Encountered her before, around a bunch of other “gentle and kind” types, and she’s SOOO nice.  Encountered her again, around a typically snotty noble (Admittedly well-played, since the nobles are in fact snotty, so no complaint there) and she acts completely different.  Why?  My conclusion is nose-up-arse-syndrome.

So anyway, here’s the review:

Positives:
-No Powergaming
-One friendly staff member (very friendly actually, hopefully you’ll get him…the Americans suck).
-LOTS of background, in game and for the setting.
-Great roleplay opportunities open up after many of your characters die.  So if you have LOTS of time and LOTS of characters you don’t mind dying, eventually you can play a snob.
-Ambivalence towards reviews.  You’ve gotta admire apathy, in a way.
-If you want to sit around for six hours at a bar drinking and gossiping with your friends, but you aren’t old enough to go to a bar, don’t want to drink, and/or don’t actually have any friends, you can capture the atmosphere perfectly here.

Negatives:
-Helpfiles are a mishmash both in setup and in writing.
-Petitions generally go unanswered (at least as a new player)
-Current game balance as of this writing is VASTLY in favor of “Good/Neutral”.  So if you play an evil character, basically you’re gonna die.  Or, at the very least, you’ll survive, but you’ll have noone to roleplay with.  Unless you can find that one other evil character in the place you start and you’re on a similar time schedule.  Then you can REALLY get to know that player…and noone else.  And you can’t really do anything.  Well…except crafting.  Lots of crafting.

In conclusion, if you can get a few of your friends to join at the same time, you MIGHT have some fun.  If not, you’re gonna spend lots of time either alone or sitting in a bar listening to people gossip.

Really…that’s it.

MAN do I miss Forgotten Kingdoms…

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Pre-Emptive Analysis

Headline: “Christian group’s stunning decision”

BEFORE reading the article, or any responses, here is my review of the CA/A responses to it:

“See?  Religion is horrible…they’re all the same.”

When a non-religious person does something wrong, here is my review of the past/current/future CA/A responses to it:

“That has nothing to do with me, we’re all individuals.” (In Bleating Unison)

-Puppy >.< Yip!

A Statement Of Appreciation

To Whom It May Concern (If you don’t know this is you…it isn’t):

I have never, in my whole life, known a more racist, hateful, ignorant, borderline-fascist, narrow-minded, deceitful, two-faced, backstabbing, traitorous, disloyal, pathologically-adept-at-lying, fake, morally empty, shallow, insincere, pathologically-adept-at-faking-emotion, manipulative piece of rat feces (metaphorically speaking) than you.

Thank you, for making me realize how strong a person I can be.

And tell BL he’s still a p@ssy.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Thoughts While Watching The Red Sox – 6/18/13

The age of micro-“role”-managing shows how stupid it (sometimes) is:

Unless Doubront got injured mysteriously in the dugout, here’s apparently John Farrell’s thought process:

Let’s see…I can leave in a pitcher who has allowed three hits and zero walks in eight innings and who is showing no signs of “weakening” or “running out of gas”, who is under 100 pitches and could at the very least get a chance to finish the game, someone I KNOW is pitching great…OR…

I can put in someone who’s been erratic and who, at best, MIGHT pitch great.

But hey, he’s the “closer”…put him in.

My thought when I saw him warming to come in, before he’d thrown a pitch:  “If he comes in, it’s an absolutely idiotic move by Farrell.”

My thought after he came in and blew the lead: “He came in…it was an absolutely idiotic move by Farrell.”

My thought if he had struck out the side: “He did it…it was an absolutely idiotic move by Farrell.”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Brilliance Of The Scientific Method

‘Scientists Discover Stem Cells In Fat’

“These fat-based stem cells were discovered by accident.
Researchers were trying to grow cells from material collected by liposuction. But when a piece of lab equipment failed, the cells in
their sample died–except for these unusually hearty stem cells.”

– Karen Hopkin

And, in related news: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JL-SmhFlFoQ

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – I don’t care enough about this clip to criticize it. So I guess that’s pretty critical. (housekeeping)

To Protect And Hush-The-Whole-Thing-Up

First, satire meant to poke fun at reality:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JshcuLgIalM

Then, reality:

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2013/06/17/contreras-sexual-assault-las-vegas/?icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl4|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D330406

Wow…the first one doesn’t seem all that bad…

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – *SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE* (housekeeping)

Memoirs Of An Intellectual Coward

Ok, so apparently I’m an “intellectual coward”.  According to Dick Dawk and his followers.

Reason:  I refuse to give any real thought as to the existence/non-existence of God.

Why?  Two reasons:

1) It is impossible to say with certainty either way, and even the question itself is impossible to answer at its core, since the word “God” has many different meanings to many different people.  Mathematically speaking, there are BILLIONS of possible meanings for the word “God”, if you include all deities ever considered since the dawn of humanity and also all abstract concepts of a force/higher power/superior being/etc…there is NO WAY to know the answer, and I’ll find out when I die.  I have enough patience to wait until then.

2) It is totally irrelevant.  I live my life according to my morality:  I’m not perfect, but I think I’m a decent person.  If someone told me my actions would/would not get me rewarded, I would not change my behavior.  If someone told me my actions would/would not get me punished for eternity, I would not change my behavior. 

On a related note, to suggest that all theists only act the way they do out of desire for reward/fear of punishment is the equivalent of suggesting that all believers in the existence of laws and police to enforce them only act the way they do out of fear of punishment.  That is to say, noone obeys laws because they BELIEVE in their morality, everyone just does it cuz they don’t wanna go to jail.  But, deep down inside, we’re all killers/rapists/thieves/scumbags.  Which is, of course, good solid empirical evidence that Dawkins is a c@nt (although there is solid empirical evidence to the contrary, see recent post).

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Random Thoughts

Last/Coolest twitter twit: (Thanks, FB!!!)

“I would call Richard Dawkins/Penn Jillette c@nts, but they lack the necessary warmth and depth.”

The two things I like about Sixteen Horsepower’s album ‘Sackcloth ‘N’ Ashes’:
1:  Chicken of tomorrow on the cover
2: “Black Soul Choir”, which is so much better than anything else on the album I’m amazed in a Sonic-Youth-‘Washing Machine’ sense.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Puppy Poll – 6/13/13

One person was asked the following questions:

Do you think anyone in the government gives a sh1t about what anyone not in the government thinks about any government program beyond what will directly affect their ability to get re-elected?

Do you think that polling people to determine what they think about any government program and/or what they want done about it is anything but a complete waste of time to pretend that we actually have any voice in what will actually happen (overtly or, if necessary, covertly)?

Doris Dog kisses Rock Tree and she says?????

No.

No.

I can’t take it anymore!!!!!

This poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 100 percent.

No puppies were harmed in the taking of this poll.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

My Second Comedy Routine – By Puppy (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

“Ok, so, the other day (note: put a “just” in front of “the” to make it more trendy and cool, but I digress) I was talking to this really pissed off CA/A (note: this will be my little in-joke…people either won’t care, will know from previous bits, or will yell “What the hell’s that??”) and they (note: not specifying he or she makes it more inclusive) were saying all this stuff about “Atheists don’t kill people”, “Antitheists don’t kill people”…and I was about to argue with them, but then I realized it wouldn’t do any good and I’d just be wasting my time, and I really wasn’t in the mood for a long discussion (note: see ‘How To Deal With Crusading Atheists/Antitheists – A Useful Guide (By Puppy)’), so (note: flesh this out a bit, make it seem really pleasant and generic, like a normal and slow punchline is coming) I just said “Ok, you convinced me”.  Then I killed them.  (note: deadpan a must)  Then I paused briefly and said “Nope, wait…you were wrong.” (note: proceed immediately to next joke without pausing for reaction, and indeed ignore reaction if one is forthcoming…see the deadpan thing previous).

*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE*

Suggestion

Regarding similar posts, and given the recent outcry over many things, think about this before you waste your time yelling and screaming:

If the government of ANY country REALLY wanted one of their citizens monitored/imprisoned/”disappeared”/dead, do you think “legality” would be a stopping point?  Look at history and think about human nature, add a dose of common sense and realize that the answer is a great big fat “NO”.

Is that an endorsement?  NO, just as great big and fat.

As a hero once said: “I was not attempting to evaluate its moral implications…”

It’s a statement of fact.  At most, legality/illegality is a major and annoying “inconvenience”, if/when it comes down to that. 

So, instead of WASTING your time arguing about an issue of legality that, even if solved to your complete pleasure, would have absolutely no practical effect other than to make you feel better about yourself and allow you to THINK “things are ok now” in bliss, spend that time doing something that has an actual, practical, undeniably REAL good effect: help people in need, help animals, help a worthy charity, take the time you spend venting and spend it on being good to the people you love…just an idea.

Or, to put it into simple flow chart format for the CA/A’s:

Best outcome:
1) Law passed banning all unauthorized X (let’s say, monitoring)
2) Overt reaction: law is followed
3) Covert reaction: law is followed/ignored as deemed necessary
4) If re-discovered: outrage is feigned, people are fired.
5) Go back to 2

-Puppy >.< Yip!