Category: I Am Puppy Hear Me Degrade

First Citiwide Antitheist Bank – English 101

‘His is agnostic in the same way as most people who state that they do not believe in a god.’

His what?  His best friend, his dog, his cat, his third cousin, who?

‘Stating that something like a god categorically does not exist is a positive claim.’

“Like” a god?  What’s “like” a god?  A demi-god, someone who looks really old with a long beard, what?

‘Something most people who have thought about this probably would not do.’

That’s not true…plenty of people have stated that god does not exist.  I don’t know if they used the word “categorically” (that’s a good one, btw…try ‘Balance Of Power’), but that statement is not true.

‘You cannot categorically rule one out(any more than elves or mermaids but oh well).’

See, now you’re just being a snarky little a$$.  What looks like a “concession” is in fact intended as a backhanded mockery of anyone that could DARE to believe in ANY sort of supreme being.  So what looks like polite conversation is basically your pretentious, a-holier(I just made that up!)-than-thou way of saying “Anyone that believes in God as anything more than a BARELY possible myth is a MORON”.  THAT is what you just said.  You can frame it elegantly, but it’s the same statement.

‘I do agree with you when you state that you are not clever.’

I’m a clever person who talks loudly in restaurants!!!

‘You are demonstrably daft.’

Did you use “demonstrably” and “daft” together for the supercool “alliteration” effect?  Bravo!

‘I should have perused your previous replies on this page prior to replying to your post.’

Wow…you LOVE alliteration.  You do know that just because you begin 5 words with the same consonant doesn’t make you any more right or less snarky, right?  Just checking.  Here, try this one…”Peter Piper Picked A Peck Of Pickled Peppers”.  Great, huh?

‘I do apologize for the typo and that you were not bright enough to sort it out.’

No, let me splain…a “typo” is when you type something incorrectly…say, for example, a spelling error.  When you completely leave a word or three out, that’s not a “typo”.  That’s a “big fcken mistake”.

‘It should have read “We should not have to define ourselves by what WE do not do or do not believe”‘

De Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Da…The innocence will pull me through.

‘I do not need to describe myself as an a-mermaidist or a-golfer (as I also don’t play golf) or a-elfist.’

Wait…a golfer, or a golfer?  I’m easily confused by small shiny objects.

‘No anger at all.’

Of course not, you’re more of a robot than Joel…what’s your fav, ‘The Changeling’ or ‘The Ultimate Computer’?

‘If anything just the annoyance of using a phone to post.’

So you’re annoyed?  Well…that’s something.  Could I possibly get a “quite put out”?

‘And do feel free to quote me to your heart’s content. Your blog is an expose on you far more
so than anyone you care to quote there.’

THANKS!

-Puppy/Some AtP guy.

How Do I Get Anything Out Of This? The Answer Is Simple…VOLUME.

‘He does not like the baggage that others assign to a particular “ism”.’ (Neil deGrasse Tyson)

Said baggage, in this case, is “getting angry and in-other-peoples-faces about atheism”.  That is the baggage he so desperately wants to avoid, because he can’t STAND people like that.

‘Listen to 2:35 on which is where he makes his case.’

So the previous 2:34 he was just babbling for no apparent reason, and should be ignored?

‘Earlier he states there is no evidence for a god which is good enough for most of us.’

That is incorrect.  Unless by “us” you mean atheists/anti-theists.  If you mean “us” as I believe you do, talking about people in general, that is a false statement, since the majority of people DO NOT believe there is “no evidence for a god”.  Whether I agree with that or not is irrelevant…your statement is false.  Or, as Joel might say: “NON-SEQUITUR.  YOUR FACTS ARE UN-COORDINATED.”

‘That he does not want ignorant theists or atheists to make assumptions about anything further than his position on the lack of evidence for a god is rather diplomatic.’

What the fck are you talking about?  Wow…I need to read ‘Atlas Shrugged’ now, to make sure the world NEVER, EVER falls into your hands.

‘The world is rife with fools’

Why is it that you like to use the word “rife”, but you lack basic writing skills?  Is it some sort of over-compensation for a perceived inadequacy?

‘who assume all sorts of idiotic things from a simple declaration regarding non-belief in fairy tales.’

Who assume that because he says “I’m Agnostic”, that means “I’m Agnostic”.  Oh yeah…that’s really idiotic.  I don’t know what came over me.  He CLEARLY meant something else.  And you, of course, know what “Agnostic” means more than he does…because quite clearly, your mind is superior to Neil deGrasse Tyson’s. 

‘He is quite right when he says the concept of atheism should not exist.’

Hey!  You converted!  Great…I thought you were gonna be an angsty antitheist forever, but this is quite a sudden turnaround.  So what faith are you, now that you’ve disavowed atheism?

‘We should not have to define ourselves by what do not do or do not believe in.’

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.

‘In other words he’s as much an a-theist as he is a non-golfer.’

What if he golfs?  Nice game, golf…get out in the sun, really pleasant…ahhhh…

DISCLAIMER: For those who may be wondering, the sarcastic comments concerning this guy’s improper English usage are NOT “because” he doesn’t type very well.  It just so HAPPENS that he doesn’t type very well, and I am making sarcastic comments about that because he’s a pretentious wanker.  Thank you.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Wiccan Agenda – Satire By Puppy

I was, of course, aware of the Homosexual Agenda, in which the world’s homosexual population plans to clandestinely infiltrate all of society, until they show ‘Glee’ on every channel and the only legal music is show tunes.  Thanks to Das But for alerting me to this.

However, I’ve recently been informed of an even MORE insidious conspiracy…

AtP’s Joel (He’s not stoned, he’s just really tired) recently imparted this bit of wisdom to me:

“…the reason there haven’t been any Wiccan despots in history is because Wicca is a relatively recent invention.”

It made me think…he’s RIGHT…it all adds up.

So remain vigilant, one and all…next thing you know, our forests will cease to be indiscriminately razed, our soil will cease being contaminated, Nature in general will be respected and treated with dignity, and EVERYONE will live together in peace and harmony, allowing for complete personal freedom without causing harm to any other individual.

“It’s SCARY…it’s SCARY!”

Thanks Joel, GREAT idea…

-Puppy >.< Yip!

“And he just goes ON and ON and ON…”

‘deGrasse Tyson just made the same mistake he was railing against, by ascribing characteristics to a group because of a label.’

So you’re saying that ascribing characteristics to a group because of a label (atheist, agnostic, catholic, jewish, muslim, etc) is a, and I quote, “mistake”?.  So why do you do it, exactly?

‘Calling oneself an atheist doesn’t mean anything about how vocal you are about it.’

True.  But by creating a page aimed at ACTIVELY opposing religion that sort of indicates you’re fairly vocal about it(although you seem to be somewhat confused over the difference between speech and writing since you accused me of “slander”)…putting yourself squarely in the camp of those that deGrasse Tyson (someone your page “Likes”) clearly finds so far beneath his attention that to even ANSWER the question posed to him made him look pained and exasperated.

‘Agnosticism isn’t a middle ground between atheism and theism. There are theistic agnostics and atheistic agnostics.’

A “theistic agnostic” is actually pretty close to the middle…do you need me to look up the word “middle” for you?  I mean, unless you mean the EXACT middle…or is that the median…errr…I dunno, I’m not as smart as you are and I sometimes get my facts un-co-ordinated. 

NON-SEQUITIR…NON-SEQUITIR…I am NOMAD I am perfect…oops.

‘Both you and Neil need to go back to Philosophy 101’

You’re saying that YOU are so much smarter than respected astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson that he doesn’t even know the first thing about what he’s talking about compared to you?

I actually like Philosophy 101, btw…it’s fun and educational without being Ayn-Randian in its snobbery.

‘maybe part of the reason there haven’t been any Wiccan despots in history is because Wicca is a relatively recent invention.’

You’re suggesting there’s a clear and present danger of a Wiccan despot in the near future?  What will they do, FORCE everyone to respect nature and live together in peace and harmony, respecting freedom unless it hurts anyone else in any way?  B@STARDS!!!!!!

Your take on my Wicca question is like Silverchair’s take on Pearl Jam – Sounds KINDA ok, but really dumb and kinda laughable when you really pay attention. 

“Wa-ter out of tap is…*RIFF RIFF* Ver-y hard to driiiiiiiiinnnnk…”

‘But besides that, your point is retarded.’

My point is “retarded”?  Are you saying that my point is physically or mentally disabled, are you making light of physical and mental retardation, or are you just in an angsty tizzy?

‘You may as well ask how many despots didn’t have mustaches for all the difference it makes.’

How many despots DIDN’T have moustaches??? Hmmm…interesting point you make…

‘Your post wasn’t humour until you decided to try to awkwardly portray it as so. It certainly wasn’t satire, in fact I don’t think you even know the meaning of the word.’

Yes it was…let me show you- “satire (n): A literary technique of writing or art which principally ridicules its subject often as an intended means of provoking or preventing change. Humour is often used to aid this.”  So you see, you ARE a joke, even if you don’t get it.  Kiss kiss.

‘Your arrogant, self-righteous, attention-whoring bullsh1t is no way to win friends and influence people. Go back to your hole in the ground.’

D@MN…I watched the wrong video…let me see…here it is…’How To Irritate People’.  Oh well…at least I got to watch some early Cleese.

Wait a second…go back to my hole in the ground? I thought you said, just yesterday…”keep posting”?  Are you rational on alternate days, do you mark certain days on your calendar, what?

Just in case you don’t know…

Propaganda (n): A concerted set of messages aimed at influencing the opinions or behavior of large numbers of people.

Famous propagandists in history:  Well…just about every dictator, really.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Classic Hypocrisy

AFTER complaining about my posts, here’s a post made on ‘Anti-theist Propaganda’ that was not only completely non-“reprimanded”, but was liked (at last count) 41 times:

(Setting: Job application, man sitting in chair, man behind desk interviewing him)
Interviewer, glancing at “resume”: “It says here that you raped 20
children”
Interviewee, smiling: “And counting”
Interviewer, smiling broadly: “WELCOME ABOARD!”

Sign above office revealed: CATHOLIC CHURCH

Now, by the logic *I* was given, that I was supposedly suggesting all anti-theists are supporters of mass murder and genocide when I was in fact using satire…THIS would suggest that the poster believes that EVERY member of the Catholic Church is a child rapist, or, at the VERY LEAST, supports the idea of child rape.

So, AtP admins…where’s the outrage here?  Or are you tacitly agreeing with that suggestion?

When one of them does it, it’s humor and if you don’t “get it”, you’re stupid or “out of touch”

When someone who doesn’t fall into step with their (self-proclaimed) propaganda DARES to do something that is much more clearly satire, but NOT in support of their agenda, they invite them to, and I quote “fck right off”.

Hypocrites.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

And ON and ON and ON…

‘Anti-theist Propaganda Oh, yeah, we’re “famous” because you posted about our page on your blog that maybe 5 people read. You’ve really made us look bad.’

First, that’s a false statement.  Second, you’re admitting that you don’t believe I caused you any harm.  Third, you did no research to substantiate that claim.  As for causing “damage” to the reputation of my website…well, that remains to be seen.  (See ‘Libel’)

‘See, what you don’t understand is there’s a f#cking huge difference between “ridicule or criticism”, and accusing people who don’t support mass murder and genocide of supporting mass murder and genocide.’

I didn’t accuse you of supporting mass murder and genocide.  Show me, where exactly I accused you of supporting mass murder and genocide.  The point that I was/am LABORING to make is that there is no “magic cure” for all the world’s problems.  I was using satire to poke fun at the claim that, and I quote, “religion sucks” and that, and I’m paraphrasing here…”the next step in human evolution will occur when religion is done away with”.  The extreme example I used, Pol Pot, was intended as exactly that: an extreme example to show that your “theory” is absurd.  Now, if YOU take that in a radically different way than what I intended, that’s not MY problem…that’s YOUR misinterpretation.

‘If I went onto your blog and started accusing you of being a Nazi or a kiddy fiddler, that wouldn’t be ridicule or criticism, it would be stupidity and slander. Same goes for the bullsh1t you’ve been posting here.’

You’re implying, again, that I accused you of what you said I accused you of as quoted above.  And I believe I have already answered that incorrect suggestion.  Also, slander is spoken…the correct term for what you’re accusing me of is “libel”…which I explain above, regarding your comments directed at my website.

‘So you’ve gone from claiming you were trying to “educate people about Pol Pot” to claiming that your posts were “a joke”.
Get your story straight.’

I was trying to do both, as described above.  It’s called “satire”.

‘I’m just saying for someone who wants people to think they were just kidding all along, you sure did come on pretty strong about Pol Pot being an example of antitheism being taken to its logical extreme and all of us being guilty by association.’

“Wants people to think?” No, you see that implies that I WASN’T being satirical IN ANY WAY, in your opinion, and that I believe the logical conclusion to antitheism is mass murder and genocide.  Which I do not.  Therefore, your statement is false.  If you BELIEVE that the logical extreme of antitheism is mass murder and genocide, then that’s not MY problem…and it’s not MY fault if my satire makes you feel “guilty”, if it does…I mean, what you’re saying here is that you believe I think all antitheists are supporters of genocide and mass murder…at least, that’s the impression that I get.  And my response to that, quite frankly, is go FCK yourself.

‘You’re playing with semantics, and I’m not biting.’

Semantics (n): The study of the relationship between words and their meanings.

Are you saying I should use words without regard to their meanings?  Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of using words?

‘As for how many readers you had, I simply made
a subjective evaluation of your site design and content, and thought “surely there couldn’t be more than five people who would put up with this on a regular basis”. wink’

Do you know the only difference between this “joking” comment and my supposedly “libelous” ones?  There’s a wink-smilie at the end of it.

So, if I had put a wink-smilie on my first post, everything would be hunky-dory?

And a “subjective evaluation” is NOT “adequate research”.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

I refuse to believe in this conversation, but neither do I disbelieve in it.

‘Let’s look at what you’ve done here.’

See, I was right!  Ve-ry su-per-sti-tious…

‘You’ve just compared the admins of a Facebook page to one of the most brutal, misanthropic, insane dictators of recent history.’

I was just ridiculing your just-as-absurd generalizations about ALL religions.  According to your own page’s description: “NOTHING is above ridicule”.  So why can’t I ridicule you?  You do exist, do you not?  And are therefore a “thing”?  So according to your mission statement, I’m doing your job for you.

‘Then you try and act like you have the moral high ground and were just trying to make some kind of point.’

See above.

‘Your extreme example is meaningless.’

Your entire goal is to eliminate religion, in the insane belief that will produce the “next stage of human evolution”.  My extreme example points out that it’s not QUITE that simple…try watching “How To Do It”.

‘You are not making a point here’

If I am saying nothing, why are you bothering to respond?

‘you are not promoting education’

Sure I am.  The Wikipedia Pol Pot link got plenty of hits since I posted.  Education!

‘you are just making yourself look like a colossal a$$hole’.

Well I am colossal.  I’m tremendous.  I’m stupendous.  I’m even superlative.

‘We don’t need to block you’

You don’t need no education…

‘because every time you post you only show the readers of this page how utterly ridiculous you are.’

Well, NOTHING is above ridicule, after all…

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Post-Script

Is the following a logical statement?

“Everyone should think for themselves and make their own decisions.  Therefore, if you want to know what free-thinkers should think and why, come to X and we’ll tell you.”

Or, you can just do your own independent research, evaluate all the available information, decide what you truly believe, and live by it.

I’ll go with the second…BUT you don’t have to…

*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE*

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Excerpts from FB’s ‘Anti-theist Propaganda’ page

‘Hi Aaron, thanks for sharing.’

Ummm…you’re welcome, Joel.  You know, I expected something really nasty in response…

‘On behalf of everyone on this page, I’d like to cordially invite you to f#ck right off.’

Like that.  And since we’re supposed to be about TRUTH and FACTS, why do you say you “cordially” invite me to fck off?  You’re ANGRY…you’re DENYING the truth. You are LYING.  How is that promoting “truth”?

‘If you know anything about Pol Pot, you’d know that his motivations and actions are so far removed from anything we endorse that your comparison is beyond ridiculous.’

It was an extreme example used to promote thought and education.  Worked, didn’t it?  So…what’s the problem?  Extreme “examples” are great when they serve your agenda, but they’re horrific when they don’t?  I don’t get it…’splain, please.

‘We…promote education for the benefit of the human race.’

So I just educated hundreds, perhaps THOUSANDS of people who, before my post, did NOT know that Pol Pot was a crusading atheist who tortured and killed people for refusing to NOT believe.  So…why aren’t you promoting me?  Isn’t that for the benefit of humanity, to show that you can be anti-theist and still be a total scumbag?  How can you not understand this?

‘Although as anti-theists we are in a position of vehement opposition to religious belief we would never condone violence,’

So you’re saying that, even though you encourage freethinking, NOONE who likes your page/agrees with your anti-theism would EVER commit an act of violence?  Please…now who’s spreading fairy tales?

‘believing that a freethinking individual is entitled to make their own choices’

Ok.  So what you’re saying is, by this direct, unedited quote…is that you think everyone should make up their own mind.  Great.  Point made.  So why do you keep making the same point over and over and over and over again?  Your page makes sweeping generalizations about how everyone that is religious is “brainwashed”…that’s as absurd as saying that EVERY anti-theist is a fanatical POS like Pol Pot.  Oh wait…how is the second any worse than the first? 

WAIT…I’ve got it…because I refuse to be brainwashed into thinking I’m brainwashed…I’m brainwashed.  Got it.

‘and that our duty to our fellow humans is not to force them to share our beliefs but simply to empower them to make up their own minds.

This stands in stark contrast to the Khmer Rouge regime of death
which sought to destroy all educated people and force an entire
country to serve one man’s twisted vision of an extreme socialist state.’

Well, I’ve made up my own mind.  But I’ve got a strange feeling that you WON’T leave me alone…I’ve got a strange…call it a “superstition”…that you’ll send ANOTHER message to me, or someone else will say something really nasty.  Which sort of goes against what you just said, huh?

‘Your earlier statement likening our opposition of religion to “skinning nonconformists alive” is equally absurd, not least because in the countries where most of us are from, religious belief is the norm and atheism is seen as the nonconformist position.’

I was referring to Pol Pot, atheist/anti-theist.  Pol Pot DID, in FACT (since you insist on facts, why don’t you accept them and applaud me for providing them?) skin people alive (among other forms of torture) as well as force them to dig their own graves before being beaten and thrown in, often buried alive by the Khmer Rouge.  The POINT is…your little dream of “doing away with religion will make the world a happy, peaceful wonderful place and everyone will be shiny and happy” is just as absurd as any other fairy tale taken seriously…and Pol Pot is a FACTUAL example of  how your “perfect world” can go HORRIBLY wrong.  But what do I know…I’m not an anti-theist.

‘Many of us either face or fear discrimination on the basis of our lack of religious belief. So maybe you should re-check your perspective.’

You live in Australia, do you not?  I wasn’t aware of the fanatical religious groups that dominated the Australian sphere of influence. Ummm…see below:

“Australia has no state religion, and section 116 of the Australian Constitution prohibits the federal government from making any law to establish any religion, impose any religious observance, or prohibit the free exercise of any religion” – Wikipedia
—

‘Religions suck.’ – Wow, that’s really profound.  Who wrote this, Anton LaVey?

‘One thing we know is clear- NOTHING should be above ridicule or criticism.’ – Including your page.

‘You are the enemy’ – I thought you meant only to educate/enlighten…”enemy” sounds very…what is the word…dangerous.  Hey, see ‘Pol Pot’ above.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 14)

I’m the captain, the original EAM is ‘Let Me In’, the new one is ‘Let The Right One In’.

Vis:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-k3U3qiqjI&feature=related

-Puppy/Crimson Tide(TM, all rights reserved them)

1/11/14: Disney you SUCK! (If you really wanna watch the clip, it’s the part of the movie where they get into a slowly-building tense argument).

Binders Full Of Mitt

Comments on Mitt Romney’s “Binders full of women”:

– I think someone should create a song hooked around him saying that over and over again, like Orb’s “Fluffy Clouds”

– On a serious note, the Jon Gruden-esque pauses Mitt made while trying to think of what the *BLEEP* (his mental note) to say illustrate how unprepared/unconcerned he was with the question.  He just wanted to not totally fck up and move on to something that actually MATTERED to him.

– These binders, did they actually contain women, or just the names of women?  Because if the former, that’d be a neat trick…”Binder Of Holding: Value 20,000 Gold Pieces”

– If Obama ever sees himself behind in the polls after this, he should echo Jon Lovitz’s comment (hopefully with better results) after 3,000 points of light – “I can’t believe I’m losing to this guy.”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

How VF are you? (Compiled from ACTUAL OkC questions)

Which of the following do you want to do?
A ) Have sex in a graveyard
B ) Have sex with a serial killer
C ) Have sex with a serial killer in a graveyard
D ) Eat human flesh
E ) Have sex with a serial killer in a graveyard near a shallow grave

SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE…

Also, I get a huge kick out of this one-

“Are you attracted to dangerous situations?”

You see, there’s a difference between “exciting”, “thrilling”, and “dangerous”.  They’re not intrinsically connected.  If your life is so dull that you need to feel the nearness of death to remind yourself that you’re alive, that’s kinda sad.

And most of the people that answer “yes”, as we all know, don’t have the SLIGHTEST desire to actually be in a dangerous situation.  They just like to talk about it and pretend. 

I mean, to any VF that really WANTS to be in a dangerous situation…why aren’t you?  I mean, since the vast majority are white and a large percentage are racist, why not try a John McClane from the beginning of ‘Die Hard With A Vengeance’, show your true colors and see what happens?

Because you haven’t got the guts to back up your BS, that’s why.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 10)

Ok…so, why is it that, during the winter when it’s REALLY cold (cuz it’s the winter) and you go out on a short errand to pick up a few food items or whatever, and you talk to someone later, and they ask if you “managed to stay warm”, and you say you went out, and they laud you as some sort of conquering hero for your majestic and brave travels to the 7-11…

But during the spring or summer, when it’s really pleasant out, and you DON’T go out, and someone finds out you didn’t go out, they seem to have an incredulous, accusatory tone to their comment?

“You DIDN’T?  WHY?  It’s such BEAUTIFUL weather out…you really HAVE to go out…I mean, it’s too late now, but it was so wonderful…”

The point of that, I suppose, since you already KNOW it was beautiful out, and that it was wonderful, and that the Sun would have shone on your face and birds would have chirped and all that other lovely sh1t…is to basically shame you into NEVER, EVER not going out again on a beautiful day.  You’ve already BLOWN that, and so, for your clearly irrational act of not going out, you clearly deserve to be mocked, ridiculed, and made to feel even worse than you already MUST feel because you missed the WONDERFUL day.

Just saying.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

“Or Who Cares?” – Curly Howard

“That’s not cool. That’s not how you play the game.” – Eric Chavez on the Oakland Athletics after they “clapped” and “chanted” too much in the dugout.

First, Eric, the Oakland Athletics are fighting for postseason positioning…they’re a young team, they got excited, so they expressed emotion.  It wasn’t anti-Yankee…it was pro-Athletic.  Loosen up, dude.

Second, who the heck cares what you think?  Just because you’re a Yankee you think anyone on ANY other team gives a sh1t about being lectured on how to “properly” play the game the Yankee way?  Noone outside New York gives a sh1t, and it’s sad that you appear to think that the Athletics might be “properly chastised” after having a Yankee finger wagged at them saying “Nooooo….bad Athletics…”.  The concept that ANYONE outside New York cares about the “Yankee Way” is about as valid as the concept that prior to the 2004 ALCS any Yankee fan considered Yankees-Red Sox a “rivalry”.  Please…

Third, since they were in the dugout, they weren’t actually playing the game at that point.

For an example of playing the game, look at your teammate, Alex Rodriguez, in the 2004 ALCS against the Boston Red Sox.  Notice how he slaps down with his hand in violation of the rules to knock the ball loose from Bronson Arroyo.  Notice how he puts his hands on his head and gets that “What did I do???” 5-year-old look on his face and pouts.

That would be an example of how not to play the game.

If you’re talking about people WATCHING the game, watch the lowlights (Thank you, “Big Eddie”) of every Sox-Yankees game of any importance from 1986-2004.  Notice the “Nine-teen Eight-teen” chants of your fans whenever the Sox inevitably start to lose, basically saying “Our team has beaten you, but that’s not enough…we want to rub your loser noses in it”.  That would be an example of how not to watch the game.

But hey, what do I know?  I’m not a Yankee.  Praise the Heavens above.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Revelation: 9/23

NOW I understand.

The reason the male demographic likes “2 Broke Girls”, I know now after seeing Kat whats-her-name falling out of her Emmy dress, is Two Big Breasts.  Some of the females, too, I guess.

So, sorry guys, but hey ladies…if your bf wants to watch this show and he says it’s because it’s funny or female-empowering or…anything, really…it’s not.  It’s cuz he likes big boobs.

Which is cool and all…but why would you sit through this sh1t?  Just like…buy a Kat-whats-her-name poster and stare at it for 30 minutes.  Much more tolerable, because you don’t have to listen to the show’s soundtrack.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 8)

Whilst editing my Theatre of Tragedy reviews, besides wanting to attend some LARP, the following thought occured to me…

If they made an unofficial, un-authorized (suspend disbelief and PRETEND Stephen King would EVER turn down an offer for a movie based on something he wrote) sequel to ‘Christine’, and thusly had to intentionally misspell the words for the title, would they perhaps call it ‘Liv, Kristine!!!’?

(Is Liv to Live as Led is to Lead?  Those dumb Americans…)

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 7)

I love the movie Braveheart, really…but the part of me that loves MST3K/Flying Circus would love to see an “alternate” version, made exactly the same as the original, but (having received permission from the owners) inserting Terry Jones’ “Cardinal Biggles” as follows:

*Inquisitor* “Confess, and you may receive a quick death.  Deny, and you must be purified through pain.  Do you confess?”
*Wallace* *Is silent*
*Inquisitor* *Steadily raising his voice* “DO…YOU…CONFESS?”
–
*Palin* CONFESS!!!
*Biggles, falling to his knees* “I confess!”
*Palin* “Not you!!”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Great Stuff…

I was just reading an article about Mars “Blueberries”…the article itself was fairly interesting, but what was even more enjoyable was the “intellectual” debate that took place in the comments section after it.  This is where very logical, reasonable, intelligent, well-educated people converse on an adult level.

So…basically one person says something that another disagrees with, and the other person basically says “hogwash” in a very intellectual, snobby way.  Then the first person questions, rather politely, WHY they can so easily dismiss it as “hogwash”. (I’m on the first person’s side in this one). 

Ok, so then the second person responds in a SLIGHTLY less intellectual/snobby and slightly annoyed/mocking sort of way…and it goes ON and ON and ON…descending to Junior High level.

Basically the first person just wanted to discuss the point, but the second person basically said “No, I won, you’re stupid”.  I mean…is this the “advancement” of human interaction?  It was like an argument about Red Sox Vs. Yankees at the end, with one person saying “I win I won’t talk anymore *covering my ears* NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH … by the way, I’m a very reasonable scientist.”.

Just as childish as any other arrogant snob claiming “victory”…they really did, I swear…they said – “I’m not talking anymore, I won”.  Wow.  I thought science was about discovery and friendly interaction for mutual understanding?  I didn’t know it was a pissing contest.

Einstein must be rolling over in his grave at the state of some people that consider themselves “intellectual” today.

Here’s a comparable junior-high level framed-as-“intellectual” spat for comparison, courtesy of the Cheers episode ‘Abnormal Psychology’:

*Frasier* So am I to assume that you just naturally thought that I’d be at this drinking establishment?
*Lilith* Actually, knowing your obsessive-compulsiveness, I checked with your service.  And indeed you’d left them a very complete itinerary of your day.  I trust all went well at the dry cleaners?
*Frasier* Thank you, yes…and, I can assume from your questioning that you’re attempting to make idle conversation rather than articulating some control dysfunction with my personal habits.
*Lilith* That’s correct.

*Norm* Are they “fighting”?

*Lilith* First of all, I think any mention of our past relationship could tarnish the objectivity factor of the show.
*Frasier* You call that a “relationship”?  I mean, we dated one time…the closest we came to physical contact was when you closed the car door on my hand.
*Lilith* Are you repressing?
*Frasier* Oh, forgive me, actually, you’re quite right.  Yes I should be straightforward in telling you that you are passionless, stoic, and emotionally numb.
*Lilith* Apology accepted.
*Frasier* Merci.

*Woody* Yup, I’m pretty sure they’re fightin, he just asked for mercy.

-Puppy

Thoughts While Watching The Patriots (Week One)

Are football fans really a “target” audience for the really bad “Hawaii Five-0” remake?

And if so…why?

And isn’t it kinda sad when they have to do those cool “action” pan-ins on “striking” poses?

And what’s the deal with Lucy Liu-less? <=== that’s a talent joke, not a racial joke.

– Puppy >.< Yip!

Excerpts from Das But’s twitter page – Photo taken LIVE in his mom’s basement

“New stuff being put out on dasbut.com. Baby rape drawings.” – Das But

Wow…you are one sick fck.  And STILL you’re dull.

“how do I make people “follow” me on this thing? Can everybody in the free world see this?” – Das But

By being interesting.
Yes, which is probably why it’s a bad idea to promote child rape, Das.

Puppy Presents – Good Songs By Otherwise Useless Artists(As They Come To Me)

Bananarama – “Cruel Summer”
Misery Signals – “Worlds & Dreams” (NOT unlistenable horsesh1t, for once)
Michael Penn – “No Myth”
The Breeders – “Cannonball” (Festering in Black Francis’ memory)
The Primitives – “Crash”
Bob Welch – “Ebony Eyes”
The Charlatans – “The Only One I Know” (The hit “Hush” never should have been)
Cracker – “Low”
ABBA – “Dancing Queen” (I CAN’T HELP IT!!!)
Angie Aparo – “Spaceship”
Ben Folds Five – “Brick”
Berlin – “The Metro”
Big Country – “In A Big Country” (A Flock Of Royal Canadian Mounted Geese)
T. Rex – “Jeepster” (“Get It On (Bang A Gong)” sucks)

Last Updated: 12/22/13

Ministry – A Clarification

I’ve been informed that I am the subject of tepid (it makes sense…see ‘Analysis of “Goths – Analysis Of A Subculture (By Puppy)”‘) ridicule for classifying Ministry as “industrial”.  Apparently, Ministry is far too poppy and tuneful and has actual song structures as opposed to hyper-repeating discordant noise.

Guest Response: “Like the good orthodox category-haters you’d figure, these perverts claim they’re not industrial, which is true only in the sense that Led Zeppelin wasn’t metal: they may be too good for the category, but that doesn’t mean they’re not of it. And like Led Zep, they’re cold bastards who are worth your time even if you think you don’t like what they do, which is toning up your cardiovascular system by running you over with a tank.” – Robert Christgau, ‘Ministry – Psalm 69’

-Puppy >.< Yip!

I Am Puppy Hear Me Degrade – Godsmack, “Voodoo”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SSUQxGjZZ4

0:04- Then please get there.
0:09- What if the snake wasn’t poisonous? Suggested re-lyric that would be hilariously out of rhythm with the first line: “When I feel the poison from the snakebite of the snake that just bit me assuming it was of the poisonous variety found in this particular region enter my vay-ee-ayns…”
0:15- Man…I gotta get back to Medieval Manor(tm Medieval Manor, all rights them).
0:17- Because you got really excited in a sexual fashion.
0:18- COWBELL! Oh…no.  Well, close enough…I got a FEE-vah…and the only pre-SCRIP-tion…is more TRIANGLE.
0:26- Look at that horrific natural disaster…and the fire and burnt field, too.
0:32- “One Day…it will Guard your Life…” or, if you prefer…”Hey, it’s “Meh”dusa”.
0:44- Nice crotch shot.
0:52- Nice Eddie-Vedder-from-“Hunger Strike”-impression…also, maybe the huge FIRE behind you will stop you from freezing.
0:59- Don’t forget to breathe out.
1:03- I thought you didn’t wanna be here in the first place?
1:08- HAHA or Hey!  Blue Man Group!
1:13- See “0:09”
1:15- The sinister “Finger-wag” of doom.  McKayla is not impressed.
1:19- This is the movie that was rejected as being too childish as opposed to ‘Pathogen’.
1:24- That’s a big one.  How long is it?
1:26- HAIKIBA!
1:27- The Dozen-Or-So Whores Men of the Ughpocalisp.
1:34- They don’t seem to be helping with the fire.
1:37- Well, YEAH.
1:51- Severe over-acting.  Perhaps Graham Chapman can do something for him.
1:59- AGAIN?
2:07- Hide-and-Reek
2:17- Too easy.  Repetition.  The key to comedy.
2:33- The key.
2:40- The sensuous wannabe-pagan ritual begins…
2:47-3:09- While we’ve got some free time, have you ever considered the advantages of owning a really fine set of modern encyclopedias?  They can really do you wonders.
3:25- to come
3:35- I’m outta here, you dumba$$…
3:41- dy.
3:56- The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Naked-Jogger.

And I LIKE this song.

Godsmack/Puppy >.< Yip!

The Butt Of My Jokes

“Das But is a spoken word guy who trys to be offensive with vuglar
“pieces” about incest, rape and every possible offensive topic. Lots
of cursing. It’s not very good. He still can’t do a routine without
reading from his notebook. It’s good his background music was turned up too loud. Between them and the freezing cold I was miserable.” – Jeffrey Howard

“I don’t know about tattoos. I don’t like them, seem kinda gay” – Das But

A Derogatorial – By Puppy

Some random freak recently used the words “gay” and “fag” at least half a dozen times to describe me, my friends, tattoos, and pretty much anything else he could think of.

Now, the amateur psychologist in me has a theory about this. (And it’s mine).

When someone attempts to make fun of someone, generally they’ll pick a subject they believe is the most “sensitive” to that person.  I’ve learned this through years and years of being bullied.  (Bullies also tend to be cowards when confronted with ANY resistance whatsoever, but that’s another topic).

Since he couldn’t come up with anything except “gay”, which I admit I used to use in a derogatorial (His word, not mine…Das, if you critique another person’s grammar, you really shouldn’t make up words.  I’m disgustipated) sense when I was…oh, I don’t know…11 or 12, the conclusion is two-fold.

Number one, he’s not particularly intelligent and/or imaginative.  Watching his EXCITING youtube videos is solid empirical evidence of this. (I meant that in a sarcasticatical sense).

Number two, as we all know, those that make frequent derogatorialishistic comments concerning homosexuals/homosexuality are often doing so as a sort of macho preventative measure of being “labeled” the same. (Or they’re wondering what exactly nucular weapons are, but that’s another topic).

Now, why would one be so afraid to be labeled homosexual? 

Perhaps, as in a lot of cases, said individual has certain…feelings (nudge nudge) inside that he can’t quite understand/come to terms with/accept/derogatorialize.  In plain terms, he has certain…urges, towards other men (wink wink), that he is perhaps afraid of and doesn’t want people to suspect, so he covers them by being around women as MUCH as possible (Cuz everyone knows homosexuals never hang around women, or have sex with them, or get married and have children) and by using the word “gay” in a DEROGATORY (Das, see?) sense.  It’s ok, Das…you can stop. (Andy Dick called…he wants you to tone it down a little).

P.S. – People that think they’re so harda$$ and do really fcked up sh1t and everyone thinks they’re “bravely anarchistic/individualistic” sometimes are…but in some cases, it’s all BS hiding a cowardly nature.  I mean…put that freak in jail and he’d stop making jokes.  He’d stop holding his bladder/bowel movements.  And I’m sure someone would be glad to oblige him in exploring his sublimated desires. (SAY NO MORE!)

Das But = Das (Sad) Punk

Also, one last thing…I think from now on, whenever someone gets completely torn to shreds (metaphorically speaking) and is asked what happened, they should say, regarding how they feel about having their smug little nose (where applicable) rubbed in it – “I got Dassed, man”.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Sorry honeybuns, one more thing…

Dasi baby, WHY in the name of all…NORMAL people…hold sacred would you paint a picture of a woman saying “I’ve been raped!” and then have a bunch of men to the right of her, pointing at her and laughing?  I mean…maybe the VF parasites are cool with that, but…they’re parasites, just like you.

I would re-post it here, but I have SOME semblance of decency. 

-Puppy >.< Yip!

It’s been a while…

From: “Das But”, Boston, Massachusetts, 32(According to his FB page, at least).

How does he know me?  Dunno…only friend we had in common was Sandy McCahill.

Message as follows, cleaned up to allow younger viewers:

“whats up dude!”

Who the heck are you?

“Saw the tat on your page. wicked cool bro! so do you get
tats and sh1t? i never had one before does it hurt? whats the tat mean?
old english script is hard to read…looks like it says fuzzy
i love fuzzy sh1t.”

Ahhhhh…sarcasm.
No, no sh1t…just tats.
No, actually once they remove the needle and you allow it to heal it’s remarkably non-painful.
Actually it’s “difficult” to read.  There’s no degree of hardness involved.  But it is 20,000 Leagues difficult.
Actually it says “Puppy”.  Which, I’m fairly sure, means “Puppy”.

“youre a f#cking loser”

Such hostility…das ist bad, ya?

“tattoos are for fags.”

That sounds very homophobic, Mr. Das But from Brooklyn now residing in Boston.

“you think a tattoo hurts?”

No, I think, my brain hurts.  Also, every time a bell rings, an angel gets wings.

“try shoving a f#cking
heroin needle filled to the brimb with oxycontin after a cold water
filtration method up your d1ck hole. worth the money and half the price
of getting a tat and making yourself look like a f#cking loser forever.
biggest sign that a man is a loser: tatoo, smokes, makes up companies
that don’t exist so that he looks cool on facebook for his gay f#cking
wastoid loser friends\”

Come on, no fair…you stole that from Shakespeare.

“watertown must be full of fags.”

Lots of small pieces of wood, perhaps…OH…you mean homosexuals.  I’m not hip to the homophobe lingo, my bad.

“you walk
around my street in brooklyn”

So you’re threatening that SOMEONE ELSE will do something if I go SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY…wow…that’s a real brave stance, Das.  I mean, you live in Boston now…why don’t you say something like “You walk around my street in Boston…”?  Because you’re a…let’s go to Wikisaurus here…
‘coward, chicken, yellow belly, gutless wonder, softie, wimp, weakling, wuss’

“with them gay tatoos and a facebook full
of friends,,, “

Again, very homophobic, Mr. But.

“boy howdy”

boy howdy oh boy yeah yowzah yes sir whatamado oh ho 23 skidoo.

“youre just asking fior a kick through your
heroin infested d1ckhole. i bet youre fat”

No, Mr. But, you’re the one that just implied you use heroin needles.  Which is ummm…illegal.

Das thing…I think I love you. *kiss kiss*  You got me down, man…I wanna have wild gay sex with you.
“Ok, I wanna be like, the gimp, ok…now, you have to remember, that my character…that I, that I like, that I’m kept in a TRUNK, alright, in the basement of your HOUSE, ok, and you use me for deviant HARDcore gay SEX, ok…”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

8/21/12: Das But 2: ‘Ich spreche nicht sehr gut Deutsch‘

“Lame response. Gay response.”

I’m sensing you don’t like gay people.  Also, since you think tattoos are for “fags”, you by default don’t like anyone with a tattoo.  I mean…I really don’t care, but you probably don’t wanna go around broadcasting that to the entire world.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

8/23/12: Oh yeah, he doesn’t like black people either.  Check out “Die For Satan” by Das_But on youtube, if you want dull racist nastiness.  Hey Das, you ever actually DO any of this fcked-up sh1t you’re going ON and ON and ON and ON and ON about in your little rants?  No?  Course not, you’re a fcken wannabe.  But I admit, you’re pretty fly(for a white guy).  Now THAT is a good video…dude in that looks kinda like you.  You talk a lot of hype about suicide, but you don’t have the fcken balls to do it.  Too bad.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

9/7/12: Hmmm…still hasn’t done the suicide thing.  Oh well…always knew he was a fake.

-Puppy >.< Yip!