Category: Movie/Long Subject Reviews

Unfortunately, the visual display isn’t supported by dialogue that’s anything more than average, and the heavy-handedness of the rather obvious moral preaching (If you can’t spot the metaphors to reality, distant past and recent past, you need to read more American History) gets a bit tiresome after a while.  Not that I don’t AGREE with it…but you don’t need to slam people over the head with the obvious parallels to reality. 

Think of it sort of as a more ambitious but not as far-reaching sci-fi version of ‘Dances With Wolves’.

Grade: B

The movie is more comedic drama with a bit of intense tragedy thrown in, whereas the book (from what I understand) is much more dark and intellectual.

R.P. McMurphy is an a$$hole, but at least he’s a GENUINE one…and a genuine anything, of course, is very hard to find.

Perhaps slightly over-rated by those who hail it as a masterpiece of American cinema (usually in retrospect after having written middling reviews when it first came out), it nonetheless is a truly great film and a Puppy must-watch, if not own.

Inspirational Quote: “I’m a Godd@mn marvel of modern science”

Grade: D-

It’s not stupid, macho, or corny…but it is boring.

The problem is that the believable characters are unlikeable and the likeable characters are unbelievable.  Jeff Bridges conveys about as much charm as Billy Bob Thornton in ‘Sling Blade’, but his character’s excuse (stupidity/alcoholism) isn’t near as valid as Thornton’s character (severe mental illness).  And Thornton’s character at least has quirks…and interesting dialogue.

Vastly overrated.

The big fat guy in this movie.

I’m not being desensitized to the atrocious, horrible things done in this movie and in “horror” films like it, I’m just amazed at how many of these works of horsesh1t actually make it to film…they’re all the same – Dull, Meaningless, Stupid, Gratuitous…I mean, when you make ‘Friday the 13th’ look inventive by comparison, that’s sad. 

They say Truth is stranger than Fiction.  In this case, it’s just as dull.

“Based On Actual Events”, so I guess there’s a big dumb fat guy in jail somewhere getting a royalty check from this.

Worthless tripe…everything ‘Land of the Dead’ is not and what ignorant morons would prefer it to be.

To complain more, there are periods where it lags…but there are also some extremely interesting scenes and a few surpriiiiiiiiises.

Inspirational Quote: “Put that hand on me again you won’t get it back”

Evil IQ: “You don’t HAVE to understand…*I* understand…”

The idea(s?) is smart and twisted enough, but too often it plods along and hammers home things that could better be delivered in a different way…after all, Insinuation really makes it happen.

Peter Stormare is a genuine weirdo, a la ‘8MM’, but most of the other characters are as featureless and bland as the lead is intended to be a symbol of…they should all be wearing masks.

Still, it has a certain style about it that makes it at least…well, mildly interesting.

Parts of it are fascinating and parts of it are hokey.  Denzel Washington, as always, is brilliant.

Inspirational Quote: “You know why?  Because cigarettes kill…”

Second, a completely forbidden and impossible love story made only that much more compelling by the inevitable tragic ending to it.

Third, a movie about a witness to murder and about police corruption.

In that order of importance and relevance.

Kelly McGillis glides easily from pure joy to sheer terror in the blink of an eye, as she is both totally fascinated with and totally repelled by Harrison Ford’s outsider and everything he represents.

It’s a bit of a disappointment that this was the best they could come up with to showcase the first two elements, as the third element is a bit dull and completely irrelevant to what anyone watching the movie is CARING about, assuming you’ve ever in your life wanted something you knew you couldn’t have.

Really, it’s a great film…but it’s so remarkably dark and relentlessly hopeless that there’s no point in watching it unless you revel in those feelings…and I don’t.

Recommended to masochists and as a gift for people you don’t like very much.

Inspirational Quote: “Do you ever feel Evil?”

Grade: A-

5/27/12: I simply refuse to call this a “must-see”.  Nyah!  Grade: B+

Based on the 1996 book of the same name, this omits large portions of the actual events and takes some cinematic liberties.  If you want to know the “real” story, read the book or the court case transcripts.  If you’d prefer a less truthful but far more consistently engaging and interesting experience, watch the movie.

Duvall in particular is outstanding as Jerome Facher, and delivers some of the best lines of the film with an easy, calm, subtle brilliance.

Inspirational Quote: “I don’t run away from bullies”

Grade: B+

Actually it’s quite good.  The script is very good, the direction is very good, and the acting is at least competent.  Which, given everything else, is enough.  Some of the visuals are stunning, in good and bad ways…in this film, the beautiful, peaceful, playful, and haunting exist intertwined with the grotesque, violent, vicious, and haunting.

I have no idea if it was intended, but I find symbolism in the fact that “Rage” inevitably destroys itself…the answer being no answer at all.  As with anger, it can keep you alive only for so long, no matter how strong it is.  Then you need something a bit more meaningful.  That, or you burn out.

What elevates this above the vast majority of “horror” films is what almost always does – Humanity.  The characters are portrayed as real, not absurd extremes of “Good” and “Evil”.  They’re capable of horrible and wonderful things…sometimes they’re happy, sometimes they’re sad, sometimes they’re scared…you know, real.

Two of my favorite scenes are the ‘Dawn of the Dead’ shopping homage, which is decidedly pleasant and amusing, and a scene near the end involving the male lead, which is decidedly unpleasant, and shows that human beings don’t need an infection to be truly enraged.

Inspirational Music: Inevitable build near the end.

Grade: A-

1) Showing that Clive Barker is no Stephen King
and…
2) Accurately illustrating how the leaders of Cults (Personality or otherwise) honestly feel about most of their “followers”.

Stripped down to the only parts that feel like they matter, this is a tender and touching story of pure, innocent friendship between two children who feel they have noone else.  Those scenes between the two ARE the movie…everything else is irrelevant, like a comedic side-story thrown in for a few gratuitous laughs, merely to put space between one interesting scene and the next.

The problem is it’s not comedic.  It’s disturbing, depressing, brutal, and merciless.

It’s terribly troubling…if the folklore vampire (here, or anywhere else) is so utterly Evil for killing human beings to survive, what does that say about human beings, since we are the only species that actively preys on itself for FUN?  We hurt each other, even kill each other…out of greed, lust, jealousy, sometimes just pure sadism. 

The very fact that I have morality makes me re-evaluate what I believe, and why, sometimes.  When a horror film can raise legitimate moral questions that can’t be easily answered in black and white terms, that’s a rarity.

Something to think about.  Or, more probably, not.

Grade: B

6/3/12: “Think think think, just think about it…” Grade: B+

I’ve been trying to find the next great “horror” film (If I haven’t seen it yet, it’s new to me) in the vein of ‘Land of the Dead’ or ‘Seven’…this ain’t it.  It starts mediocre enough and then descends into one of the worst pieces of sincere(???) filmmaking I have ever seen, including MST3K.

I think an old (future) exchange said it best (regarding my search)…and I paraphrase:

“This is disgusting…this is absolutely, completely horrendous.  I hate this.  I HATE this!”
“Another?”
“Please!”

The only thing John Landis is a master of is bad camp.

Methinks the man has far too much common decency to create a fully depraved work, as evidenced by the not-entirely-depressing ending.

Recommended highly to all VF members that list “Serial Killers” as one of their “likes”.  You want to meet one?  If you met Henry (Who is based on a real-life serial killer) and told him how “cool” you thought he was, he’d stare at you and then make you his next victim.  Dumba$$es.

Shocking when it was released, disgusting and pointless (not to mention outdated by those that need even MORE blood and guts to make a horror film…see “Gore Film Afficionados – Analysis Of A Subculture”) today.

Grade: F

11/21/12:  I suppose one could argue that the moral of the story is:  Some people are beyond help/sympathy (see ‘Natural Born Killers’).  Whether it’s their “fault” or not, it simply is so…therefore one must accept this and act accordingly.  As Henry can have no “friends” (He’s a sociopath, he doesn’t view anyone as a “friend”…people are things to him) to attempt to be his friend in any way is foolish and self-destructive to one’s self and everyone and everything in one’s life.  It’s like walking up to a scorpion with the best of intentions and then being surprised when you are stung.

All that being said, I still think this movie is a piece of sh1t.  The one-dimensional acting of the lead is, I guess, “brilliant”…he’s playing a Sociopath, after all.  Well done.  So what?  It’s still disgusting and pointless.  If you want to know anything about Henry/sociopathy, read a book/article/anything on the condition.

The only reason to watch this is if your favorite scenes in ‘A Clockwork Orange’ were the rape and ultra-violence ones and you wish Kubrick had filtered out all that other “meaningful” cr@p.

Grade: F

A sort of European alteration of Stephen King’s ‘Pet Sematary’, with much less action and much more mood and ambience.  A bit bloody, but there’s far more internal struggle than external.  It’s a bit ragged in parts and strikes me as slightly amateurish, but there’s an undeniable morbid charm to it, if you like that sort of thing.

Worth seeing once and only once.

Just saw your latest film.

In ‘In The Mouth of Madness’ the general incoherency of the plot was justifiable because the film itself was about insanity and you managed to get a few actual actors to appear in it.

In this one, the only true confusing “surprise” I’m left with at the end (or any time during) is why you haven’t retired by now.

Invoking H.P. Lovecraft grants one a certain license to be weird.

This film invokes a number of films, none of them very well.

P.S. – What’s the deal with your Kurt Russell fascination?  Tim Burton has better taste in obsessions.

And so it ends…

Paul Reiser is remarkably sleazy, Sigourney Weaver is remarkably resilient, Michael Biehn is remarkably likeable/competent, and Bill Paxton is the most remarkably whiny Marine ever.

Inspirational Quote: “Game Over, Man!”

Grade: A-

Sci-Fi/Horror film most notable for three things:
1) Producing a great sequel
2) Being unduly worshipped
3) Inspiring the funniest scene from Mel Brooks’ parody ‘Spaceballs’

The unhumorous attempts at slapstick humor?

Mickey Rooney, a former star, in a thoroughly embarrassing and dislikeable role?

The almost complete lack of James Cromwell?

The disturbing animal scenes that should never have gotten a “G”?

The tremendous letdown from the first movie?

The costumes, scenery, and music remain attractive and interesting…but apart from a few scenes that harken back well to the spirit of the original (most notably involving Babe and an attack dog), this is fairly dismal and depressing.  Not exactly what you hope for in a “childrens” movie, unless you take your children to the cinema in order to traumatize them.

Inspirational Quote: “You must have a very thin grasp on reality.  Unless, of course, you’re suicidal.”

Inspirational Quote: “Groovy”

Grade: F

This remake of the original ‘Night’ is less cheezy but far less innovative.  Not quite the redundancy of the shot-for-shot ‘Psycho’ remake, though.  Worth a watch for Romero/Savini acolytes and zombie-film addicts, otherwise just watch the original.

Inspirational Alteration – The ending

Grade: C

Inspirational Quote: “One”

Grade: D

6/24/12: Sutherland gives it some undeserved class.  Grade: D+

There are certainly relatively “dark” scenes, but these move the film away from pure escapist fantasy and closer to a realistic but positive view on (possible) reality.

The optimist’s response, perhaps, to George Orwell’s relentlessly cynical (and brilliant) ‘Animal Farm’.  Which vision is more accurate?  Probably Orwell’s.  But I like this view infinitely better and maybe (MAYBE) if more people felt the same and worked towards THIS view instead of resigning themselves to Orwell’s, it could eventually become less of a fantasy and more of a reality.

James Cromwell is excellent in an understated role, but, of course, the pig is the star.

Costumes and countryside (and music) are lush and beautiful.

The mice are annoying to me but probably hilarious to little kids.  But this isn’t a “little kids” movie, it’s far too advanced intellectually and thematically.  So I’d like to remove them, but hey, what can you do…it’s only a minor complaint.

I can’t resist a wry smile when two groups are presented, both of whose opinions are narrated with complete neutrality, both of whom prove to be wrong.  It’s an obvious reference to “ism”‘s of any kind (Sex, Race, Etc…) as being, above all else, stupid.  It’s quite clever and, to quote a wise (fictional) being – “I do, in fact, agree with it.”

Humility and dedication triumphing over arrogance, ignorance, and closed-mindedness.  10.

Ending – Cue the Sun.  That’ll do.

Inspirational Quote: “If I had words to make a day for you, I’d sing you a morning golden and true”

Grade: A

Grade: C-

After that, it’s just really really really silly.  I mean…really.

Inspirational Quote: “Send more paramedics”

Grade: B-

Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you’re an editor) this is a carefully crafted illusion, putting all the best moments, action and comedy, together in one rapid-fire stream of coolness that is mostly out of context and which doesn’t account for the REST of the movie…which is mostly ok-but-tedious-in-comparison.

The gross violence of the Big Bad Boss and his henchmen is understandably shown…we’re SUPPOSED to hate them.  But what’s the point of showing an 11-year-old girl’s masterful, often grotesque slayings of henchman after henchman?  I suppose, given Hit Girl’s costume as she enters the last soon-to-be Slaughterhouse, it could be seen as a stern warning to be afraid of little girls…perhaps an effective PSA for Pedophiles, but otherwise just plain gross.

I have no problem with “dark” humor, I have a problem with a movie that sells itself as a dark-humor cartoon and then contains about five minutes of that and two hours (or so it seemed as I waited for the inevitable ending for an interminable amount of time) of mediocre slop.

Watch the trailers, laugh your ass off, then skip the movie.

Grade: C-

Grade: B+

Second Viewing Judgement: A lesson on the dangers of giving in to one’s dark side, a slap in the face critique of allowing meaningless lust to somehow justify abuse of the severely abused either by action or lack of action, destroy one’s real life job, family, love, relationships, morality, personality, self-control, and basically the entirety of everything a person is.

Recommendation: If you have a hearty stomach for gore and a strong mind for disturbing material, it’s worth watching if only to scare the fck out of you as to what would happen if everyone gave in and embraced excess as THE blueprint for life without any sort of restraint or restriction.

Grade: B

Grant plays a doctor (Guy Luthan) who has to make a choice, in the beginning of the movie, between helping a cop whose wife is at the hospital crying and a psycho on drugs that shot said cop before being shot himself.  The decision seems obvious, as does Luthan’s father’s background, as foreshadowing the eventual conclusion.  Luthan is conflicted from the start, but you (at least, I) never really get the sense that the internal struggle will end up going anywhere but where it does go.

So what’s left?  I mean, if a thriller has a fairly predictable ending, how thrilling can it be?

Well, it’s not particularly thrilling.  But it is well-crafted, well-executed, well-acted, and so forth.

The questions raised in this movie could have been made more challenging by a more objective approach…most people will probably agree with the final “decision”, and it probably won’t take that much thought to reach that agreement.  The extra sugar-coating in the epilogue doesn’t help matters much, either.

All that aside, if you can suspend assumption for a while, this is a very enjoyable movie.  Nothing special, nothing revelatory…it will disturb you, yes, but it won’t particularly surprise you, I don’t think.  Sort of like an Agatha Christie novel in which the killer is given away on page 10.

Inspirational Quote: “Anything.”

Grade: B-

So Cage is consistently cr@ppy with occasional moments of believable mediocrity.  FORTUNATELY, Joaquin Phoenix is consistently good, and the rest of the supporting cast makes the film enjoyable…although perhaps they’re just so good when compared to Cage?

Sort of a guilty pleasure, I suppose…partly because it tackles a subject that very few films would, and partly because the bad guys are so convincing in their nastiness.

The story concerns a supposed “snuff” film, but that’s really just an excuse to introduce some majorly fcked-up characters into Cage’s life, to show how Evil evil can be, to make money off of sensationalism, and so on.  The moral “questions” (I already knew the answers before I saw the film) are obvious, at least to me.

Very few films that are this disturbing conceptually are this marketable in reality…think of ‘Dead Alive’, which intentionally does everything possible to offend/disgust, but succeeds only in the second way…it’s hard to be offended by something so campy and predictable.

Inspirational Quote: “He’s SAYING…that *name removed for spoiler reasons* fcked us…which is so totally completely bi-zarre…”

Grade: C+

Summing it up is both impossible and unnecessary.

Grade: D