No, that’s not the entire review, but you get the general idea. I’m not quite sure exactly how much of it is MEANT to be silly, but I suppose that doesn’t really matter. Intended or not, this is almost all camp, with some of the best scenes coming in unbelievably macabre and twisted fashion. Macabre and twisted, but so hokey that you can’t help but snort or snicker, much like ‘Dead Alive’ only without anywhere NEAR as much gore.
The plot centers around a couple of college students on vacation in jolly olde England. They’re walking across the countryside and come to a little tavern called “The Slaughtered Lamb”. Foreshadowing? Who knows. Who cares? It’s a silly movie. Anyways, they go in, and the best part of the movie occurs…unfortunately, right near the beginning. The reception they receive is grim but turns lively in rather amusing fashion, and the atmosphere is captured perfectly. Then they leave, and the movie starts to mostly suck.
One of the students (David Naughton) is bitten by a (get ready for a surprise) werewolf, while his friend is bitten repeatedly (translation = mauled to death).
Naughton’s character David (yes, same name) then slowly starts to “transform” into a werewolf, or so it seems, while his dead friend keeps appearing to have polite discussions about what happened, what will happen, and what SHOULD happen. It’s amusing in places, utterly ridiculous, vastly overblown, and good for a few chuckles. Once. Da End.
Inspirational Quote: “You…made me miss.”
Grade: C
3/21/12: Ok, funnier (cheezy amusing not “haha”) than I gave it credit for, and played straight. Which gives it a slight edge over stuff like ‘Troll 2’. Grade: C+
This is a Rob Reiner film, and so the satirical/silly parts go without saying. The difference between this and, say, ‘Spinal Tap’ (Where Reiner goes for all-out satire) is that not only does the movie totally succeed as a satire on the pretensions of D+D movies that have been dreadful since the dawn of time itself, but it also totally succeeds when it becomes wry, romantic, touching, menacing, dramatic, uplifting, *insert adjective that it goes for here*.
It’s a beautiful, nearly perfect film. Cary Elwes plays a role that IS Cary Elwes, as he’s proven (sometimes unintentionally and unfortunately) in countless movies since: quick-tongued, charming and yet annoying at the same time, overly dramatic, and hopelessly over-acting. But here, it WORKS…it’s like if Jim Carrey ever found a movie whose sole intention was to extol the virtues of talking out of your a$$.
Robin Wright is perfect as the perfectly Pure Princess “Buttercup” (Yes, it’s meant to be a silly name). Chris Sarandon is excellent as the Evil yet Stoopid Prince Humperdinck (Yes, it’s meant to be a silly name). Even Andre the *BEEP* Giant is good in his role…
However the two absolute standouts are Mandy Patinkin and Christopher Guest, who fittingly have a confrontation near the end of the movie that is without a doubt the climax of the movie and one of the most moving scenes in a non-pure drama that I have EVER seen. And this is seeing it 24 *BLEEPIN* years later!
If you don’t know the script by now, look it up somewhere. Actually, don’t. It’s a PURE Fairy Tale…quaint, charming, understated, fun, funny. A truly great film. Enjoy.
Inspirational Quote: “I want my father back you sonofab1tch!”
This is the edited-for-content American version of the longer (and much more explicitly controversial) ‘Leon’, the original film by French director Luc Besson. Most of the scenes that have been cut from the original deal with the relationship between Leon and Mathilda. Personally, I’d like to see them because they would show how the two become closer, and even if they do veer more and more towards what is already made explicit in this edited version, they never (from what I understand) cross the line from disturbing into flat-out obscene.
‘The Professional’ is ostensibly the story of a “cleaner” named Leon who saves the life of a young girl named Mathilda. How young? Well, she’s 12, as people seem to know for absolutely no reason. A young boy’s age is also known for absolutely no adequately explored reason, and it’s a bit of a running joke after a while, sort of like everyone thinking “Snake” Plissken was dead(sp?).
Some of the action scenes are somewhat dated(Perhaps ‘Equilibrium”s only redeeming scene should be cut-and-pasted?). The acting is not as good as the ideas, nor is the writing. But the ideas are brilliant, and those who complain about Gary Oldman’s over-the-top Stansfield are overlooking the fact that at least Oldman gives his character an interesting persona, beyond what is actually “called for” in the script.
I could wax philosophical about how the movie is not about death and killing but about saving life and Salvation, and while that may or may not be true, it seems to me to be more about slick cinemacraft than either. Not without its merits, certainly, but as over-rated by its adoring fans as it is hated by its critics.
Oldman’s character displays a creepy fascination for REALLY close physical contact(think of a younger version of ‘Book of Eli”s Carnegie) and is just as menacing in his calm, relaxed psychosis as Pesci in ‘Goodfellas”s “Funny Guy” scene. Reno plays emotionally stunted and naive perfectly…I buy it, at least. Natalie Portman does about as well as a child-actor can as Mathilda, out-performing many of the adults.
Oldman’s character Stansfield is in a position of extreme power, which is a bit far-fetched – Odd, Psychotic Drug Addicts seldom rise to that level of power, I would imagine. And most of his men are INCREDIBLY incompetent.
The “bonding” scenes seem a bit forced at times, again begging for the inclusion of the deleted scenes.
The last third of the movie is easily the best part…everything has been established and the ending is, in its own way, brilliant. However the whole thing is perhaps a bit TOO well-directed. Slick, stylish…so slick it loses some of its believability. Sort of the Reverse-Reservoir-Dogs effect.
Inspirational Quote: “I’m DYING to meet him.”
Grade: B
7/22/14: Parts of it are dumb and parts are too slick and parts are boring, but there are too many great scenes and powerful moments/feelings not to grade this slightly higher.
The ray of light, as if sent down from Heaven in a gesture of Divine mercy, is a fav touch. Arty without being pretentious.
Much-ballyhooed as a triumph of the Human Spirit and a celebration of Reality, my only problem is this…why did they possibly think Jim Carrey was the “perfect” person for this role? Granted, he has his moments, and he tries…but that’s the point. He tries TOO HARD, like he always does. And for all the fanfare to the contrary, despite an impressive debut as a real, “serious” actor, his performance is flawed.
‘The Truman Show’, if you don’t know by now (I’m 13 years late with this, oh well) is the story of a man (Truman Burbank, played by Jim Carrey) whose life is entirely contained and controlled, without his knowledge. Sort of like the world’s biggest artificial bubble, except that Truman is the only one that doesn’t know it’s artificial. At a time when the world has grown tired of “special effects” (I doubt that) and seeks a real person they can identify with (I don’t doubt that), Truman plays, unbeknownst to him, an important role in the lives of millions of people. In his life, they see the safety, security, tranquility, and harmony that they wish so desperately for in their own lives. The problem is, such things come at a price, and Truman has to decide if willfull, blissful ignorance is better than sometimes-harsh reality.
In some ways this is a brilliant movie…Ed Harris is exceptional as Christof, the “Creator” (of a television show) and some of the lines are truly haunting/inspiring/scary. I like to think of this as a sort of Positive Transcendentalist’s response to ‘Brave New World’, ‘1984’, and countless other books/movies that portray the impossibility of happiness and safety existing hand-in-hand…in ‘Brave New World’, the only answer is escaping happiness for liberty, in ‘1984’ the only answer is escaping liberty for “happiness” (If you can call a zombie-like state “happy”). ‘The Truman Show’ offers another way out…a difficult road that may or may not be taken, that may or may not succeed, but is there. In that, it is a complete Triumph.
But the majestic sweep and power of the message is constantly lessened by the now-familiar histrionics of Carrey, who seems to think the script isn’t good enough as a drama and needs his own particular blend of humor, which has NOTHING to do with the movie, and which seems COMPLETELY out of character for a man in his situation. Over-acting is suited more to Carrey’s natural style (playful and “wacky”) than what you’d rationally expect from someone whose entire Life’s Reality is collapsing around him at an accelerating pace. When Carrey is subdued, it works perfectly. Then he slips into ‘Ace Ventura’ mode and gets a few laughs at the expense of destroying the logical character development that should be taking place. I don’t know about you, but if I found out that everything I knew was wrong, I wouldn’t feel “liberated” and start running around…I’d curl up into a ball and hide.
Carrey’s best work is when he is actually being SUBTLE, which he does with (considering his previous work) surprisingly good effect, and especially in his confrontation with Christof, when the music’s repeated swells echo the lost nature of his soul and his extreme inner conflict building to a (perhaps) logical conclusion.
Message: Given the choice of Alpha Plus placement in a brave new world, choose the Freedom of the Savage. There is hope for individuality, if the will is strong enough.
Couldn’t agree more.
Inspirational Quote: “Cue the Sun”
Grade: B
5/18/16: “He’ll turn back, he’ll be too afraid.”
…
“Give me some lightning.
Again.
Hit him again.”
…
“Capsize him.”
“He’s gonna drown and he doesn’t even care…”
“Do it.”
*headshake* “No.”
“Do it!”
…
…
*end*
The horror parts, the truly scary parts, happen long before this. This, actually, is an escape; one way or another. Grade: B+
FAIR USE: CRITICISM – In the clip, Carrey, Harris, and the music combine to signal a defining moment for Truman; an absolutely vital decision. It’s the best part of the movie, IMPO, and I find it moving every time.
Low on dialogue and high on imagery, foreshadowing, and mood (What do you expect, it’s a Jim Jarmusch film), this hypothetically modern take on Yamamoto Tsunetomo’s instructional manual for Samurai (‘Hagakure’) is forced to get by (or not) on the strength of the wisdom quoted throughout and the powerful lead performance by Forest Whitaker as ‘Ghost Dog’, who shows that a book can indeed have a VERY powerful effect on a young person’s mind.
Whitaker’s performance is amazing, and is easily the best in the film. The role seems to have been made for him: an actor/character that can convey at the same time equal parts menace, cunning, detachment, and a still-innocent affection for those few things dear to his heart. When he has a conversation with a little girl (played by Camille Winbush) you don’t, for a second, have any sense of foreboding. In his eyes, as in yours, she’s an innocent…viewed the same as defenseless animals, only with more (again, innocent) affection and a sense of reluctant nurturing.
The plot centers around a young man saved from a savage beating by the lucky coincidence that the person that notices it happening has a gun and “isn’t afraid to use it”. From this develops a sense of Loyalty and Devotion, a personal allegiance intertwined with the extremely complex “Code of the Samurai” and Ghost Dog’s own personal background, hardly the stuff of upper-class Feudal Japan. It’s a fascinating contrast, as Whitaker manages to display an easy street savvy (look for the obvious references) while still maintaining an extreme focus and a disciplined, simple (in the materialistic sense) life.
Parts of the movie are boring. Then again, parts of ‘Hagakure’ are boring. Parts of life are boring. It’s a necessary thing to bear with the less “interesting” parts in the knowledge that there is more to come.
Repeated watchings make it more, not less, impressive, as it was obviously made with extreme care.
The music is very well suited as yet another contrast between Ancient Japan and the world that Ghost Dog is REALLY living in…this ain’t no Ancient Culture, but, to him – “Sometimes it is”
Grade: B+
2012: A must-watch for people who don’t read. Grade: A-
Mel Gibson’s extremely fictionalized account of William Wallace and the Scottish struggle for independence from English rule is a true Epic in the classic Hollywood sense – Visually stunning, action-packed, and alternately inspiring and sappily cliche.
Taken as a historical recreation, this is an abysmal failure. Taken as a work of fiction, it is a triumph whose charming and numerous strengths overcome its annoying weaknesses.
Weaknesses: The same incredibly gory battle scenes that made me “Oooo!” in amazement and delight as a young lad now make me either cringe slightly in frustration and/or disgust or just get through them by spotting the obvious errors in battlefield placement (the Scottish soldier half-heartedly fighting noone is a personal favorite). In a film like ‘Saving Private Ryan’, similarly disturbing scenes work because they’re SUPPOSED to be disturbing, serving as a reminder of the horrors of a War that too many people have nearly conveniently forgotten. In ‘Braveheart’, they seem obligatory if not glorified, as if Gibson thought of a lot of interestingly gruesome ways for people to get killed and he was going to make d@mn sure he took this opportunity to display them.
The other major complaint is the interaction between Wallace and the Princess of Wales – not because of its obvious historical impossibility, but because it’s so TOTALLY out of the character that Gibson had worked so hard to establish for Wallace.
On the positive side, the acting is almost uniformly excellent, with Gibson’s lead being outdone especially by Patrick McGoohan as King Edward “Longshanks”, and also by Wallace’s three Lieutenants (Most notably Stephen the Irishman in a bit of brilliantly insane comic relief).
The scenery is absolutely breathtaking, the costumes and soundtrack beautiful, and the script is (for the most part) intelligent, inventive, and gripping.
I cried several times watching this movie over the years, and also felt an undeniable surge of adrenaline and exultation. When a movie can produce both effects, you know it’s doing something right.
Grade: A-
2012: It’s only a movie…it’s only a movie… Grade: A
10/3/16: Robert the Bruce also deserves a mention for impressive acting, and Gibson does have *some* moments of brilliance; the feelings and thoughts he conveys without words after meeting the Bruce on the battlefield are impressive and undeniable. Grade: A
The precise moment when George A. Romero FINALLY gets some real actors to work with is the precise moment he creates his greatest film and definitive statement, better even than the original ‘Night’ or the mercilessly cynical and anti-commercial (but quite cheezy) (original) – sequel ‘Dawn’.
Simon Baker (showing that “Good Guys” need neither be Pure nor Stupid), the late (great) Dennis Hopper (showing once again that inflection and attitude can make ALL the difference) and especially the vastly underrated John Leguizamo (pushing an ultra-cocky attitude that only a VERY few actors, including himself, could fully pull off) are all first-rate.
The supporting cast is almost as good, especially Robert Joy as the somewhat-unwanted sidekick and Eugene Clark as “Big Daddy”, the most intelligent of the zombies (Yes, they’re getting smarter).
The unrated/uncut version is grotesquely gruesome, and while I’m sure that a lot of the same people that liked the original movie not for the story or the message but for the shock value will revel in it, to me it’s irrelevant…perhaps a necessary reminder of the horrid contrast between the Have’s (Fiddler’s Green) and the Have-Not’s (Everyone else), and a grim depiction of Inhumanity versus Humanity, but purely secondary to the acting and character development. That’s not to say it’s “gratuitous”, it’s used to horrifying effect and makes the movie’s endgame that much more Hopeful.
The story is a multi-layered version of ‘Night”s claustrophobic inevitability, and while I won’t spoil it by telling every detail of what happens (That’s what Wikipedia is for, if you want to know) I will say that it is extremely good from start to finish.
When people talk about loving or hating horror movies, this is where the divide should be: Only those that absolutely refuse to watch a film that is violent even if it is of extremely high quality won’t derive pleasure from this, while those that simply crave gore will probably be a bit disappointed that Romero didn’t spend less time having his characters talk and more time having them dismember…or be dismembered, as the case may or may not be.
Inspirational Quote: “No. They’re just looking for a place to go. Same as us.”
Grade: A-
2012: Add Asia Argento to the supporting cast mentions. Her and Baker win in the “Most adorable romance that you KNOW will eventually lead to LOTS of sex using mild flirtation only as their lives hang in the balance” category. I had to watch this again to make sure I wasn’t over-rating it as a thankful reaction to most gore film sh1t. I wasn’t. Grade: A-
A cult seems to have sprung up around this movie for reasons I can’t fully understand.
Yes, the idea is a brilliant one. Unfortunately, it’s not ‘Equilibrium”s idea. But beyond the concept of totally rehashing previous films/books, which is a weak argument at best considering that many fine movies do exactly that (see “sequels”), there is just nothing here beyond the opening scene (Which is quite violent – get used to it, love it or not – but also displays a certain inventiveness in combat choreography and a mild subtlety to its character development and foreshadowing that seems to be lost during the rest of the movie) that’s worth watching in any way, shape, or form that could in any way be considered an advancement or even a worthy homage to an idea not already driven into the ground with the finesse of a Peter Gabriel.
LET THERE BE NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
Perhaps fans of the over-rated but still vastly superior ‘American Psycho’ are just humming Genesis and Huey Lewis and The News songs as Christian Bale trudges woodenly through Ch..ch…ch…ch…changes in (I guess you could call them) emotions during his painstakingly reinforced metamorphosis from cold-blooded killer to warm-blooded killer (I mean “Freedom Fighter”), but for me, the promising professional mediocrity of the opening scene having long since worn off since…the opening scene, the final moment of tolerance comes during a dog-killing spree that apparently was the result of a “Creative” meeting that must have gone something like this:
(Man) “Hmmm…the script kinda sucks, how exactly are we going to keep people horrified?” (Other Man) “How about burning priceless works of art?” (Man) “Not enough…” (Other Other Man) “How about flashbacks to traumatic moments?” (Man) “Nope…” (Woman) “How about actual character development?” (Man) “Shut up!” (Other Other Other Man) “How about killing defenseless little cute adorable animals? Ummm…Kittens?” (Man) “PUPPIES!!!” (ALL) “BRILLIANT!”
Grade: D-
2012: Housekeeping and re-evaluation.
Grade: F
4/23/16: Like ‘Fight Club’, ‘Saw’, and other movies I think are VASTLY overrated, I WANT to rank this lower than it deserves; sort of a counter-balance in the overreaction department. Unfortunately, critical integrity demands that I not. So…it just really stinks.
