Category: Movie/Long Subject Reviews

Prequel to 2002’s ‘Cabin Fever’. Sort of. In a bogusy way.

Hmmm…mmmmhmmmm…HMMM… – it stinks.

Inspirational Quote: “We have to buy books, and…pencils.”

Grade: F

Come on, do you need a description? What happens when someone gets a – sorry, THE – monkey’s paw? Three wishes and a lot of twist to them. Really bad bleepin twist.

New Orleans…nice setting.

A somewhat interesting take on the premise. Pretty predictable, and VERY dark, but for horror movie fans, probably worth a watch.

Personally I found it got worse as it went along, as I realized there was less and less time for it to NOT be predictable, right til the end.

If you don’t like dark horror, you’ll hate it anyways.

Inspirational Quote: “So much for ‘lover not a fighter’, huh?”

Grade: D+

Extremely minimalist: almost the entire movie takes place between a couple in a small cottage.

The story involves some sort of plague that turns people into infected/zombie monsters. We don’t see the cause or very much of the effect, outside of the two featured characters.

As time goes on and on, supplies become scarce, tempers become short and both undergo a gradual descent into semi-insanity; he from his constant journeys out to get food and other supplies, she from her constant and unbroken complete isolation.

Things become a bit unclear near the end, when the story and visuals could be shown through either’s eyes, one or both of whom may be seeing incorrectly.

Overall it’s somewhat interesting, especially given the limitations of the setting. But as part of me cheers the lack of generic descent into zombie action, part of me grows bored at what is basically a very long story of a failing relationship.

Grade: C-

The Star Trek parallels are cool.

Basically a washed-up group of actors, beloved for a series in times past, cruises on that mutual love but finally begins to feel…well, washed-up.

Then it turns out that a REAL group of aliens wants to recruit the crew, who they believe to be real as well.

The female alien is kinda hot, and Tony Shalhoub is quite lucky.

I found it both amusing and actually somewhat moving.

Recommended to both Trek fans and Trek haters.

ON Netflix Streaming as of 10/1/14.

Grade: B

The opening credits should have been MST’d. Or better yet, not made.

Cheezy, badly acted body snatchers type movie.

Horrible FX too, and it only gets worse as it moves along.

All of which goes to prove my point: Tobe Hooper sucks, and Germans love David Hasselhoff.

Grade: F

About the 1919 Chicago “Black Sox”, some of whom got paid to lose the World Series, and the immediate fallout of that.

Last time I re-watched this I was disappointed. This time I was
somewhat pleasantly surprised. So I figure it’s somewhere in the middle.

A little too hokey, but fairly enjoyable.

On Netflix Streaming until 10/1/14.

Grade: C

An extremely powerful subject, obviously.

But while I was interested the whole way through, only near the end was I truly riveted.

I just don’t think the writing and acting were as great as they needed to be to truly realize such a film.

On Netflix Streaming until 10/1/14.

Grade: B-

Poorly animated sex and violence, with a mediocre rock score.

The story itself is about a green orb that spreads evil throughout the universe. Some of the stories are bad while others are somewhat interesting.

If you must watch, I recommend starting an hour in.

GASP…did ‘Legend of Huma’ rip off this ending?

If not, a pleasant coincidence, with a bit of Torm thrown in.

On Netflix Streaming until 10/1/14.

Grade: D+

It was going along ok until the laughable “social media” intros.

Made me think it was REALLY gonna suck, but since the plot sounded ‘Crazies’-ish, I figured I’d give it a bit longer…

So basically a small group of college students have to fend off badly fx’d infected – so they attempt to pull a NotLD boardup job almost immediately.

Luckily it’s unanimous…no Joe named Cooper.

But it’s second-rate all the way: acting, script, and FX.

Slow and painful, actually.

Grade: F

I remember really liking this movie when it came out. I also SEEM to remember that it wasn’t a like-because-I’m-12 movie. So it was very cool to see it on NF’s streaming list.

It’s a sincere, charming bit of fluff; sort of like the film version of Men At Work’s “Down Under”.

Made with care, for your enjoyment.

I still like it…nothing special, but it’s cute and fun.

Grade: B-

This is not a sympathy watch.

I never really much cared for Robin Williams as a comedian or an actor, but I remember his performance in this movie as being surprisingly good; not for the humor but for the dramatic acting.

Also, I remembered it had a good supporting cast including the great Forest Whitaker.

So, I watched it again when I saw it on “Newly Added”…

And it’s pretty good, at times. But like I remembered, the “funny” Williams bits were boring except for a couple, and there was a LOT of focus on them. Which made it impossible for Whitaker, serious Williams, Bruno Kirby, et al. to make it a good movie. So it’s…decent. A movie that demands a (short) highlight reel.

Grade: C

The intro has great potential but blows it, lacking in imagination and going for a cheap thrill. I mean, come on…even the OBVIOUS obligatory “audience cheers thinking it’s fake” angle escaped the screenwriter.

The theory discussion that follows is more interesting…but serves only to make me not lose interest, not salvage.

Then it goes mediocre…tries to establish lots of “intrigue”, fails –
all the “emotion” seems quite fake. And the action scenes are dumb. Not parody-dumb, just dumb.

The best parts are the ruminations of geeky-guy survivor from part one. But they’re scarce and not nearly enough.

As for other good things…ummm…well, it’s professional. But when the killer(s) is/are revealed I really couldn’t care less.

Huge disappointment.

Grade: D

Three things made me watch this: A mild hope that it might be
good/interesting, Forest Whitaker, and the fact it was going off NF
streaming soon.

Jared Leto stinks, Whitaker is Whitaker (very good), and the rest are ok.

The movie itself looks real and is professional, but nothing special – the characters don’t elicit emotional involvement even with the best efforts of Whitaker; whose character is the only one that felt real to me.

On Netflix Streaming until 9/1/14.

Grade: C-

First: Time travel. The easiest excuse to make any story happen or unhappen. Also the most glaring loophole, considering that there are inherently endless variations that could occur endlessly for all eternity, nothing ever fully and definitively REAL.

But enough about that sh1t.

This is, in my opinion, the last decent Trek movie.

The regular cast is good, the Borg queen is excellent, James Cromwell is very good, and I really like the Data/Queen interaction.

As far as a weakness, for me it’s Picard’s Borg obsession and the
scenes playing off of that.

And, the MAIN weakness, the movie-long battle scenes that intermittently interrupt and kinda bore after a while.

On Netflix Streaming until 9/1/14.

Inspirational Quote: “I’m a doctor, not a doorstop.”

Grade: C+

I heard the first one stunk, but it’s not available on NF streaming even though this is. So I settled for this. All zombie movies must be watched…that’s my bread and butter, man.

The main character is a roving camera that makes shooting the film a lot easier.

It’s all generic and goes for shock value – there’s nothing new here.

And it features moments of incredible stupidity, foremost of which is the ages-old “RUN PAST THEM instead of waiting the two minutes it takes for them to shamble into you as you complain about how you can’t get past them you MORONS!!!” complaint.

It’s decently acted and decently funded, but completely redundant.

So, for zombie fanatics only.

Decent ending, though.

On Netflix Streaming until 9/1/14.

Grade: D

Hey man, really 70’s.

The leadup is horrid: wretched script, bad acting, dullness, obligatory crotch-cam.

The horror part is really creepy, and it’s scary; but there’s only so much screaming with intermittent bad dialogue one can take before it’s just like “Ok…they’re insane, I get it…is that it?”

And it is.

Grade: C-

The intros from a couple of the companies that joined forces to make this are cool.

It maintains the illusion of competence until people start talking.

Badly written pretentious sh1t with a slight zombie presence.

Wretched. Kinda fun to watch in a cheezy sci-fi way, though, at times. So I’ve upped the grade.

And the, umm, special FX. Really…interesting. Wow.

Inspirational Alteration: FUBAB

Inspirational Quote: “That’s for robots only!”

Grade: F

Mostly unfunny foreign comedy/zombie flick.

A few interesting sequences, but nothing new to see here.

Grade: D-

Post-WWII Joaquin Phoenix, obviously traumatized and attempting to find a life for himself, makes several bad stops on his way to the eventual premise of the film.

It’s interesting, at first, especially wondering where exactly it’s going to go and knowing Phoenix will be there for 2 hours. And he
is, and he’s good as always – welcome back, JP.

But it never truly takes off beyond the pleasure of watching him act, and to a lesser extent watching Philip Seymour Hoffman.

It’s just too generic, too scattered, too unfocused to be the triumphant return I had heard it was for Phoenix. I mean, his PERFORMANCE is up to it…but he picked the wrong film. He just doesn’t get enough help.

You might disagree at first, but I found the more I watched the more disappointed I became in everything except JP and PSH.

Basically it’s another example of a hopeless, vulnerable, sad and tremendously damaged person being taken advantage of by a prophet of false hope. And I don’t mean that religiously; cruelty and abuse of that kind are very mortal, simple, basic human things…for some people.

Unfortunately.

Grade: C

I saw this a long time ago and I remembered it as being: pretty good, odd in terms of sequence, and with a twist. So I watched it again before it went off my NF list:

Watch a man with short-term memory unravel things, often many times, in a very unusual order and with an interesting method.

Basically the story unfolds backwards, and semi-repeatedly…so if that sounds interesting you should watch and if it sounds annoying you shouldn’t.

The conclusion is disappointing to me, I expected better. But it was interesting to watch until then.

On Netflix Streaming until 8/15/14.

Grade: C+

3/20/17: Back on Netflix Streaming. I had a feeling I had underrated this…and I think I did. A little.

Better than I thought; creepy and weird, weirder as it goes along.

Some parts still don’t fit (even knowing what to expect), and it might test your patience at first, but overall I think it’s worth it.

Inspirational Quote: “Do I lie to myself to be happy?”

Grade: B-

Don’t look this in the eyes. Or with the eyes.

Awfully bad.

Yes, it’s really Tom Savini. He brings with him the moon from NotLD and some bad acting to go with the rest. He leaves behind his gore fx/writing abilities, which could have helped.

As it is the gore fx can be described best in one word: Snausages.

Grade: F-

8/5/14: Alternate Title: “Forest Of The Naked Hungry Hissing Chicks Some Of Whom Aren’t All That Hot And Make Angels Seem Sucky”. Rip courtesy of some Horror Movie Chick whose horror-movie-review website I can’t remember but who wrote a decent review of this flick. Grade: F-

This should have starred Joe Estevez. Or Frank Stallone.

It tries to be creepy, but since the acting and script are really
mediocre at best it’s mostly just silly.

On the positive side, the painting reminds me fondly of ‘In The Mouth Of Madness’ (gotta watch that again…) and the FX that don’t suck are creepy. The one that inspired me to write this bit in particular – you’ll know it when you see it. It actually gave me some hope/interest for the rest, that actually endured.

It’s bad, it’s cheezy, it’s absurd…but it’s sorta…fun? A definite level of interest for weirdness and cheeze-enjoyment. But you MUST like cheeze.

If this was re-written, with good actors, and a good director, and good music, and everything else except (some of) the fx…it would be pretty darn good I think. Or would it ruin what little charm it has? We’ll never know.

See if you can spot the grammatical error and spelling mistake.

My GOD does it get cheezy at the end.

On Netflix Streaming until 8/8/14.

Grade: D+

A bit late on this one, because I was afraid it would be laughable. But I thought I had to try. At least it inspired the title for “Uneasy Rider”.

It’s a nostalgic musical and historical oddity, best preserved and
unwatched.

The only redeeming feature is a little bit of Jack Nicholson.

On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.

Grade: D-

No idea til recently that Joaquin Phoenix was in this, which made it much more intriguing to me.

Overall it’s very dark but it’s not really gloomy or depressing; more creepy-cool/morbidly funny (when it works).

Phoenix is the focus, thankfully, and is good throughout.

Vince Vaughn is good too (only not as) as the instant friend.

Supporting cast is solid, believable…except maybe Janeane Garofalo, who is miscast as an FBI agent.

Weird, good direction, some interesting images. No real meaning, but worth a watch if you like Phoenix, Vaughn, or generic weirdness a whole lot.

I was gonna compare it to ‘Fargo’ and/or the Coen brothers but then I realized “Nah…probably stretching your ‘knowledge'”. But then I read it was inspired by ‘Fargo’. So hey, I’m a fcken movie genius.

On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.

Inspirational Quote: “Promise you’ll stop findin’ dead people.”

Grade: C

Begging the question: Whatever happened to Herbert Fux?

Terrible B-movie “horror” cr@p.

On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.

Grade: F

Another absurd movie from the ‘Airplane!’ folks, with Val Kilmer acting very silly. Not as good as that or ‘Naked Gun’, but it has some funny moments.

On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.

Grade: C-

In the brilliant tradition of NF streaming, we have here part two
without access to part one.

So, I did a little research, decided this had enough potential – at
least as cheezy mock-fodder – and proceeded to watch it while dismissing part one without much worry.

Hey, it’s got that unbelievably creepy guy very briefly. You’ll know him when you see him.

It’s not horrific but it’s too generic.

Point of note: Smearing of zombie guts as a form of fitting in with the crowd was done here before ‘The Walking Dead’.

On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.

Inspirational Quote: “I can open the door.”

Grade: D

For quite a while it’s a boring drama that fails to thrill.

When the son has ventured far/long enough into the house some odd and interesting things begin to happen.

But it never takes another step. The moments lose their promise and become the only parts of interest – as themselves and briefly, not part of some more cohesive whole.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/30/14.

Grade: D-

Wretched, badly dated and unscary piece of sh1t.

On Netflix Streaming until 8/1/14.

Grade: F-

Really stupid.

The lead does a lot of Stallone-ish angry grimacing. Also mediocre
acting, although he’s at least intelligible and reasonably priced.

Not really a remake; pretty much a completely different movie which
consists of a tiny setup and then one long dumb act.

Grade: F

Fake Footage Flick.

I like the intro: This is REAL. REALLY. No, this time it’s true.
See? It could happen…please, give us a break…give us TIME…

Unfortunately (unlike Kirk) with ME watching, time is a luxury they
have.

After a ‘Manos’-ish opening, the tension/story start. But even after that there’s LOTS of driving footage. So if you want a movie that shows lots of dirt road w/foliage, this is it. Also if you like off-camera dialogue and exhaustive foley.

The excitement level, based on the acting/script/gobbledygook, is
pretty low to nil. It’s a cheezy little number. For infection/invasion
/anything similar, there are LOTS of better options.

Terrible and pointless. Well, one good point: the actual length of…
ummm…movie is only 1:05.

If just one person is inspired to not watch this movie after reading this, I feel this review has been worthwhile.

Inspirational Quote: “WHY?”

Grade: F-

REALLY cheezy horror movie featuring living puppets.

Lots of cheezy acting and cheezy dialogue.

Thankfully recent viewing has given me a good reference point: This is a LONG, borderline ‘Darkside’ episode.

The “horror” bit starting the “serious” action/theme with about a third left to go is really horrible; bad enough in every way to be
enjoyable to mock.

Inspirational Quote: “It all just sorta blurs together, y’know?”

Grade: D-

Really SLOW and boring movie with mediocre acting and a pretty bad script.

Proving once again that hiring one semi-name actor does not guarantee success if that’s the only thing going for the movie.

Yes, “exciting” and “creepy” things happen, but they’re not really; they just try to be.

Stupid ending, too.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/15/14

Grade: F

A decent if somewhat boring documentary about cat de-clawing.

I already knew what the procedure was and I’m decidedly against it, but there were some things that I learned about its effects. If you want to know all about it, you can watch this…or you can just research it online. It’s not particularly exciting, although there are some cute cat pics, so pick your media I guess.

Grade: D

If you can get by the ultra-cringeworthy MST/’Black Eagle’ opening credits/DRAMATIC MUSIC, this is a decent version of the story.

Donald Sutherland and Mr. Spock’s is better, though.

I like the lead, and it’s different enough to make it worth watching if you saw (and liked) that (later) one. If you didn’t like it, you probably won’t like this.

If you can’t enjoy something that’s a LITTLE cheezy and dated, whatever the subject/ideas/acting/script, you won’t like this either.

Grade: C

8/21/14: Upped a notch for extra-creepy, despite limitations. Grade: C+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. I care enough to compare with the original for a few seconds. It’s better. Grade: B-

Seems decent and weird from the start. A drama around a somewhat horrific brief series of events more than a true horror film.

The “monster”‘s appearance on the scene is certainly interesting, and makes me think this may be in the vein of ‘Jenifer’.

Brief feelings of ‘Lo’, ‘The Devil’s Rock’, and ‘Hellboy’ surface as well…but this isn’t as good as any of those. The acting is pretty good and it seems authentic enough to be creepy and interesting at first, but once the intro is done it just sort of meanders the rest of the way.

Too much mood and too little story; not enough actually happens as you wait expectantly for it to.

Effects, once they arise, are below par.

Interesting, though, if disappointing after the setup.  Perhaps I’m overrating it slightly for reminders of so many better movies.

Grade: C-

Parts are kinda cute, a couple parts are amusing, and the message is great.

But again, noone who didn’t give a sh1t before will give a sh1t after watching this. And too often it’s just dull and boring.

And I hate the songs.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/7/14.

Grade: D

It’s like One Brother Pizza, only with human compost.

It’s macabre and dark from the start, which goes quickly from cutesy song enjoyment to rather damaging corpse retrieval.

Stays pretty much “dark humor” until about 25 minutes in. BUT – and this is the point – it doesn’t throw that away when it gets gruesome (and it does get gruesome).

It’s got the usual “two psychos” problem: one of them just isn’t as psycho as the other.

Actually gets really clever/funny at one point where the poor sweetheart psycho gets offended by the horrible kidnapped vixen.

And there’s a touching conversation between tied-up girl and her tied-up-upside-down gagged boyfriend that explores some serious issues and has some really positive revelations.

Rather unique tug-of-war with an adorable doggie near the end; but then it pretty much runs out of steam/ideas.

Overall this is a pretty good watch for fans of ‘Tucker & Dale’ and the like.

Inspirational Quote: “All you want…is sex, and drugs, and a good time – it’s not right!”

Grade: C+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: B-

Starts out fairly well with an oblivious couple as people panic around them, sort of ‘Shaun Of The Dead’-ish. The acting seems pretty decent, too…and for some reason I buy them as a couple pretty quickly.

At first the infection is just annoying to them, but things get slowly more tense, in a way that seems believable.

Then the couple’s neighbor, who happens to be a major survivalist and weirdo, takes an interest in the man for some reason and tries to “mentor” him.

The first really bad thing to happen comes as a BIT of a surprise.

It gets pretty dull after that…and stays at dull until near the end when the writer, apparently unable to think of a decent ending, inserts really dumb lines into the script that take the characters OUT OF character and introduce an ending conflict that makes no sense.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/2/14.

Grade: D-

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: D

Well…it’s better than ‘Taxi Driver’.

DeNiro’s performance is pretty good, especially as the later LaMotta in the intro and near the end.

Joe Pesci is pretty good as brother Joey, too. I like the walking scene with Pesci talking nicely with Batts – hahaha…funny. You know, just funny, it’s a funny scene…

The problem is the characters themselves and the script are, for most of the movie, either really fcken annoying or really boring.

Lotsa yelling and swearing in the beginning, not much else IMPO.

Then some really dull courting-the-blonde scenes:

LaMotta’s approach: “Hey. Hey. Ya like the car. Wanna go for a ride? Yeah. Hey. My house. Living room. Bedroom. Yeah. Hey, a kiss.”

Really…interesting.

Then there’s more yelling, swearing, bickering…with brief dull interludes.

Hey, what a surprise…Pesci’s character goes psycho and the Batts relationship doesn’t last. You can see that 15 years later (and a lot better) in ‘Goodfellas’.

The politics aspect is somewhat interesting but it takes a long time to get to that, and the last LaMotta/Robinson fight is interesting for the filming as well as for LaMotta’s refusal to go down.

I take back that Scorsese/DeNiro comment I made a long time ago. I prefer Burton/Depp.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/2/14.

Grade: D+

Same-Day Edit: No, it’s not better.  I guess the intimidation factor got to me…I mean, it’s supposed to be a CLASSIC.  But I think it’s pretty d@mn mediocre.  At best.  Grade: D

In a dystopian future where Randian elitists have apparently gained socially accepted control of the system, a person’s genetics are engineered/controlled before their birth to decide with virtual certainty how successful/respected/valued each person will be.

Of course it’s “voluntary” (unlike ‘Brave New World’) and not a guarantee…but it’s still fairly repugnant to me.

The main character is obsessed with joining the space program, and the story centers around his attempts to evade the system’s “safeguards” in order to do so. The part is acted well and his personal story is interesting.

His interactions with his “partner” are interesting as well.

Just when I think it’s getting stale, about to go downhill – it takes a great, moving, emotional upturn. I’m reminded vaguely of ‘The Truman Show”s ending; a monument to dedication, successful or not.

I’m also reminded (vaguely) of ‘Requiem For A Dream’ – only unlike ‘Requiem’, this collection of moments is positive…with a scene near the end that features Nightswimming that is beautiful, a starry night sky, and fade.

I actually smiled as the voiceover ended the movie.

I couldn’t help it.

Perhaps…PROBABLY…a very low B+. But I needed something both uplifting and real, and this is the first such surprise I’ve had in a long time.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/1/14.

Inspirational Quote: “This is how I did it, Anton: I never saved anything for the swim back.”

Grade: B+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. F you, ‘Pulp Fiction’. How many movies has Quentin Tarantino caused to be infected by Samuel L. Jackson, John Travolta, or (as in this case) Uma freakin’ Thurman? Too many. What a drag. But it’s still moving/beautiful at times. Grade: B

Dumb intro and a lot of really bad jokes.

Even worse than I remembered it, and I first saw it when I was 12 or 13. Even then I could tell it was sophomoric.

There’s a few…or a couple…good jokes, but mostly it’s tedious and stupid.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/1/14.

Inspirational Quote: “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal!”

Grade: D-

The original “Doomsday Machine”…Kubrick edging out Trek by a few years!

I don’t think this is great as either humor or drama.

Pretty good (and brave) satire, though, especially given the date of release.

It’s another one of those movies that I’d LOVE to love.

I do find it interesting and fairly clever. And I chuckled a few times as well. I even laughed once, actually.

One of the chuckles: Emergency-Issue ‘Holy Bible & Russian Phrases’.

My main draw is Sellers’ gradual meltdown as Dr. Strangelove.

Inspirational Quote: “The whole point of the doomsday machine…is LOST if you keep it a SECRET!”

On Netflix Streaming until 7/1/14.

Grade: C+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: B-

Much better in music form.

Full of methane and unsuitable for miners.

On Netflix Streaming until 7/1/14.

Grade: F

Wow. What a disappointment.

Here’s the good part: DeNiro and Foster act well.

Aside from that, it’s FCKEN ANNOYING horns and buildup for an hour and a half, then some fcked up sh1t happens, then a boring ending.

When DeNiro first appears with a mohawk, I dont find it scary, it find it…weird and a little silly.

Vastly overrated.

On Netflix Streaming Until 7/1/14 for the people that care.

Grade: D

Documentary about RotLD.

And ONLY RotLD. In a fairly normal, straightforward fact after fact/interview excerpt after interview excerpt manner.

So if you want all the info you could ever want about the movie, this is for you.

Otherwise it’s a boring waste of time.

I’ll watch the movie again. I’ll never watch this again.

Grade: D

This is three things:
1) A humorous, off-color look at zombies, zombie films, and zombie history.
2) A pretentious examination of same.
3) An informative/surprising presentation of interesting ideas and little bits and pieces I had never seen/read/heard before.

Best when it’s 1 or 3, obviously.  But 2 keeps raising its ugly head throughout, interrupting the amusement/entertainment and occasional thought-provocation with ridiculous nonsensical garbage.

Features a lot of major faces in the history of zombie movies.

There are probably first-sees for almost everyone in this; even rabid zombie fans.  And definitely lots of seen-it-many-times.

So overall it’s a mixed bag, but I’d say it’s worth a watch if you like zombie films of any kind (“serious”, parody, new angle, etc.)

Cool ending, too.

Fav musical bit: Barbra’s song

Inspirational Titles: “When There Are No More Ideas On Earth…The Dead Will Be In EVERYTHING…”

Inspirational Quote: “This is something that’s REAL to them…you know, WRESTLING is real to them.”

Grade: C+

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: B-

Some of the attraction/interest is in the direction, which features a lot of quick cuts, alternate shots, and metaphors.

But that would mean next to nothing if the movie itself stunk – if the characters were unbelievable and/or the script was stupid.

Fortunately, neither of those is the case.

The story is basically about loss and (mostly) addiction, and how four different people deal with these things. There’s the mother, her son, his girlfriend, and his best friend. The addictions are mostly drug-based, but one (and the most interesting one, to me, because of the character) is not. There are more than a few scenes that show this clearly as being portrayed as the equivalent of drug addiction, and while they’re not brilliant metaphors, neither are they weak hit-you-over-the-head cliches.

For me, the story of the mother is by far the most compelling. With the son, the girlfriend, and the best friend, you don’t know EXACTLY what’s coming, but you’ve seen this road before (‘Drugstore Cowboy’ for one, parts of ‘Traffic’, etc…). It’s an especially bleak and well-portrayed road in this movie, but to me it lacks the force of the mother’s story.

The mother’s story is also so compelling to me because Ellen Burstyn delivers the best performance of any of the actors, and her character is the only one of the four who truly doesn’t REALLY know that she’s getting into a dangerous spiral until it’s too late…all the others are in touch enough to realize the risks they’re taking, the danger they’re putting themselves in…at least to a certain extent.

In summation, the mother’s story – told as it is visually, acted as it is believably and emotionally – is the draw here. The three others aren’t bad, but none of them can match the power…the disturbing and moving sadness…of hers.

Good (and appropriate) music, too.

Near the end the cuts speed up and take over, and the entire movie takes on a completely hopeless air – musically, visually, and emotionally.

I found myself a bit drained by this, and disturbed…so if you don’t want either of those I wouldn’t recommend watching it. But to me, it was worth it for the very real emotional impact.

Grade: B-

8/29/16: Never never never…throw chips at a driver. Grade: B

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Good, already updated. Grade: B

An action/drama set in Medieval Times, with the emphasis on characters over action.  That is to say, on actionS and dialogue about/between characters instead of “action scenes”.

I had no idea it was going to be set in Medieval Norway, I thought it was going to be modern.  My hopes sank a bit when I realized my mistake, as I feared it would be some overwrought Medieval-esque cr@p or some horribly acted ‘Deathstalker’ fluff-and-cheeze.

I was pleasantly surprised, however, when it turned out to be a decent film.

Basically a bunch of bandits kill a girl’s family and take her hostage,
with the leader (and mother of a littler girl) intending to have
her men rape her to conceive a “little sister” for her daughter.  Her daughter is meant to learn how to be “strong”, but in fact is a naturally decent person (the only one of the group, excepting the
kidnapped) and learns from her mother what NOT to be.

Positives: The relationship between the two young heroines is convincing and sweet, the obviously well-intentioned nature of the film, a decent character the girls run into who tells a story that somewhat explains the mother’s cold nature, mostly interesting and occasionally compelling overall, pretty scenery, and being reminded of ‘Braveheart’ for some reason.

Negatives: A few obvious lapses in the quality of the dialogue and the acting, absurdly horrid bandit watch duty, and breaking my suspension of disbelief near the end when things go beyond “extremely lucky” to “No way in Hell pure fiction – even for a fiction”.

Grade: C

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: C+