Category: Musings

Armageddon Rules And Violations – A Serious Critique

First, direct quotes from some section of Arm/GDB/helpfiles/etc:

“Role-playing…is not considered an option by the creators of the world, it is a strict requirement. If you do not want to role-play, please go elsewhere.”

“…it is expected that you will play your character consistently…”

“Although it is just a game, try to imagine yourself as your character, and act as your character while in the game.”

“…try not to let your own desires get in the way of role-playing your character…”

Second, my complaint based on this:

“…My character, Evalyn, was named “formally” as “assistant to Lord Oash”.

Privately, she was assured she was now “Aide/Concubine”.  Player of Iancu Oash apparently found out Evalyn (character) was played by me (male) when, after HE requested it, I registered for the Oash GDM forum…

“His response (PUPPY EDIT: see below) makes clear, to me, that his intent is to ignore/phase out my character, or simply avoid her until – without the intimate roleplay connection she had for four days straight with a Lord, including being told intimate secrets/shown around his estate/being promised-offered anything I basically wanted in shops…etc… gone – she inevitably gets killed or just fades away until such time that he can use his OOC distaste to “legitimately” alter his IC play enough to dismiss her.

Suspending his character basically would give him what he wants – I would die or fade away, problem solved.  So I’m hoping there’s some way you can tell him, basically: roleplay your character as your character, without (potential) homophobia creeping into it, without using OOC feelings to (not so subtly, or) subtly alter your play until it’s seen as “acceptable” IC to dismiss someone you basically gazed at with doe-eyes until you found out OOC info.

Third, quotes from Iancu’s player:

“…I would be more comfortable toning down the more intimate aspects of the character relationship, honestly.”

Puppy Translation: You’re a guy?  I gotta cut you loose…I’ll find out some way to do it “IC”, cuz I’m a ten year vet and know how to abuse the system.

“It should be easy enough to make the decision ICly.  I was already sort of hedging my bet with what role would be best for Evalyn in the clan you – might have noticed…”

Puppy Commentary: Complete lie.  See evaluation, part four, below.

“Hopefully it’s not too awkward or upsetting to Evalyn if other aspects seem to cool down.”

Puppy Translation: I hope you don’t mind me using OOC info to alter my IC behavior.  Hopefully it won’t be TOO annoying to you, cuz I’m gonna do it, one way or another.

I mean, this guy’s running slipshod over the rules.  OH!

Fourth, summary of Inky situation:

Well basically, it Orinoco blows.  But here’s more detail:

It’s supposed to be, as empirically proven by their own discussion board, website, rules, constant arguments on the subject…a ROLEPLAYING mud.

So…I made a female character.  Because I liked the character idea.  Not to seduce some poor unsuspecting male into MUDsex.  Evalyn, based on Evelyn from ‘The Mummy’. 

I watched the flippin movie like 6 times in 3 days just to get EVERY mannerism down:  how she smiles, WHEN she smiles, how she talks, what words she uses, what words she avoids, how she walks, how she sits, how she talks to herself…EVERYTHING.  Why?  Cuz I like to ROLEPLAY well on a ROLEPLAYING mud.

So I’m playing the female character, not once saying “Hi. I’m a female player.”  Why?  Because it’s a ROLEPLAYING mud, not a play-your-own-sex MUD.

In fact, nowhere (I looked) in the: helpfiles, website, discussion board, all going back OVER A DECADE does it ever once, in any way, explicitly or implicitly say (or suggest) that you should play your own gender.

Ok, so I roleplay Evie AS Evie.  Cuz, you know…ROLEPLAY.  And I meet this other character…let’s call him Mr. I. 

(Although his real name is this: Iancu Oash, Lord of a Noble House, the stocky, spade-bearded man, tiny penis (that last one is pure conjecture))…

…Played by someone who’s been playing Armageddon for TEN YEARS…so…you’d expect they’d know how to/want to ROLEPLAY. And they’d know the rules about NOT USING OOC KNOWLEDGE IC.  Huh?

And there’s HOURS and HOURS and HOURS of roleplay, eventually, between myself and Mr. I.  EVERY time he sees me, he seeks a way to RP…and vice versa, cuz that’s…IN CHARACTER (see “ROLEPLAY”) since our CHARACTERS really like each other/work closely together.

He says how much he adores me, how wonderful I am, how in 20 years he’s never blah blah blah but with me blah blah blah, how he very much (in slightly subtle terms) wants to sleep with me, how he wants to take care of me forever, how he wants me to never touch another man, how he’s “willing to go as slow as I need” (Puppy translation: I wanna fck you so bad that I’ll wait for the MudSex until you’re good and ready, just PLEASE don’t fck anyone else cuz I’m like, sensitive!).  I mean, he ASKED me to be his concubine.  FLAT OUT.

Then, after he finds out PLAYER is male (because he ASKED ME PERSONALLY to request access to a board which ASKED ME to give my GDB name, which SAYS my gender…not like I said “haha I’m a guy!”), I send him two messages.  Both to the effect of:  I realize that now that you know player is male, you may feel uncomfortable with certain aspects of roleplay, I would be HAPPY to change (WITHIN REASON) as long as it’s IC if you are uncomfortable, please write back I just want to keep playing…all very polite, respectful…respecting PLAYER as a person.

And what do I get?  No response, even though he got my message (at least the first one the same day…)

And CHARACTER suddenly, for no adequately explored reason, goes from “COMPLETE DEVOTION” to “casual business relationship”???.  NO in character reason…at least, that’s what he suggested in his (eventual) reply.

*After I spend HOURS rearranging his barracks with him gone for male-playing-female avoidance reasons…”Let’s let the newb do the grunt work before we ditch her/him”*

Ummm…this is one of our VETERANS, Armageddon?

I mean, I’m not saying that anyone’s homophobic, but let me quote Kurt Cobain:

“I am not gay.  But I wish I were, just to piss off homophobes.”

A ten-year-vet NEWB.  SAD.

Oh, on a side note:

Orin, who appeared as soon as I logged on (Day two, A.I. (After Iancu)) and seemed to be trying to annoy ummm…my CHARACTER…and who was, out of four applicants, the only one selected to join Iancu’s House):
Date Player Registered: December 15, 2002

Player Of Iancu:
Date Registered: December 19, 2002

WELL GOLLY GEE WHAT A CO-IN-KEE-DUNK!

“Why, that’s the exact amount I just gave Mr. Scroggins!”
“Well ain’t that a coincidunce!”

“All I want is what your MUD claims to be: IC handled IC.  If he doesn’t like it, and thinks it’s “unfair” to have to RP with a male player…well, to quote one of Armageddon’s rules…tough.  Live
with it or not.”

“I mean, I’d say just ask him.  Ask him if we RPd very intimate scenes, he told me a secret that would get him killed, he offered to buy me anything I wanted, he said “You are my Aide and Concubine”…and if he’s slimy enough to lie, I guess I get screwed.  Because he did all those things, and now he’s trying to say “well, I actually wasn’t even sure what role she would have…”.  Because he found out I’m male.  OOC info, used IC.  It’s as simple as that.”

“It’s about the fact that he told me he would radically alter his IC roleplay based on OOC information.”

Sad.

I’d like to point out, any opinions expressed are all my SUBJECTIVE OPINI ONS, for purposes of CRITICAL ANALYSIS.  I COULD be wrong…I mean…yeah…but I COULD.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Roleplaying – How To Do It

First, pick an interesting character.

Second, research that character (if based on existing person/historical person/fictional person/etc).

Third, stay in character.

Fourth, and this is key…DON’T USE OOC INFORMATION TO INFLUENCE YOUR RP.

My research, in this case, involved watching a movie SIX GODD@MN times in three days.

Did I “ENJOY” it?  No.  I was trying to put an investment into a character I liked.

Same reason I logged 60 hours in a week.

What’s the point of this?  Can’t say.  We’ll see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNfGyIW7aHM

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Clip is a satire of an actual show, I believe. It’s quite good, and also very useful as a piece of satirical material re: other things. (housekeeping)

Thoughts While Watching The Patriots – 1/11/14

Dan Dierdorf: Belaboring inside the box.

So he goes ON and ON and ON and ON about how BAD a play it was to give up 2 points.

Now, the score was 21-10 New England.  That’s a two score game.  (TD +2 and FG)

A safety makes it a…two score game. (TD and FG)

And the other team gets it (probably) about 80 yards from your end zone.

Dierdorf apparently thinks it’s ABSOLUTELY the thing to do to give the other team 1st and goal at YOUR OWN 2 yard line…very probably 7 points, a virtual CERTAINTY for 3.  Either way, making it a ONE SCORE GAME.

Jesus H. Christ…(Yes?)…no, I was talking metaphorically (Oh).

I mean I “see” the argument for both sides, cuz I’m not a moron.  There’s odds for both things to work or not.

But a color analyst who is SO ingrained in his little box of thought is a color analyst that needs to retire.

I’m writing this before I see the results.  It’s my opinion cuz it’s my opinion, not cuz it worked or didn’t.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Useful Information

“Tax evasion is the illegal evasion of taxes by individuals, corporations and trusts. Tax evasion often entails taxpayers deliberately misrepresenting the true state of their affairs to the tax authorities to reduce their tax liability…”

“For years for which no return has been filed, there is no statute of limitations on civil actions—that is, on how long the IRS can seek taxpayers and demand payment of taxes owed.“

“For each year a taxpayer willfully fails to timely file an income tax return, the taxpayer can be sentenced to one year in prison.  In general, there is a six-year statute of limitations on federal tax crimes.”  -Wikipedia

Now, I’m not accusing anyone of this, but if anyone at the IRS was interested in checking back say, oh I don’t know, 20 or so years of perhaps no returns, they might want to talk to:

Robert Lowe
44 Webster Street
Watertown, MA 02472

(As of at least mid-2011, although his “listed” address may be elsewhere…this was where he actually lived.)

Hope this helps out.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Bobbing Low’s Guide To Life – Part One (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Rule One: If someone whose house you live rent-free in – despite the fact that you make a LOT of money that goes completely undeclared to the IRS, and have for YEARS – complains honestly and justly about horrible mistreatment and verbal/mental/psychological abuse to you, threaten to kill them and then advance towards them in a very threatening manner.

To Protect And…Ehhh, to HECK with it.

Recent headline: ‘Former DC Detective of the Year Guilty of Secretly Videotaping Stepdaughter in Shower, Bedroom’

“…This is the fourth time recently an incident has come to light
involving a D.C. police officer and women or girls, says WJLA. Officer Marc Washington died in an apparent suicide after he was
accused of having a teen runaway take off her clothes for pictures. Officer Linwood Barnhill Jr. is accused of being a pimp in an underage prostitution ring out of his apartment. And, officer Samson
Lawrence was recently accused of trying to kill his wife.”

Recommendation – By Puppy

Whenever you’re feeling horrible, horrific, hopeless, helpless, (many other words that apply)…as if your life is simply more painful than it is pleasurable, as if it would be a relief to be rid of that pain, (many other statements that apply), think about this:

Do you have anyone, or anything…any being…in your life that loves you, cares about you, depends on your presence in some way?  That would be greatly harmed by your absence, your non-existence?

If you don’t…adopt.  Pets are some of the best friends you can ever have.

If you do, then your existence serves a purpose.  It is necessary.  And therefore, if only for that, you must exist.  If you believe at all in taking care of those who love you, and who you love.

That’s what I do.  You can’t abandon those you love, no matter what…or you don’t love them.

Therefore I must exist.  Therefore, I do.

Semper Fidelis

P.S. – Because it wouldn’t be a fully “me” post without a bit of silliness and mockery, here goes:

Basically what I’m saying is that offing myself is RIGHT OUT.

So if I ever turn up mysteriously mostly-dead, take it with the validity of this:

“No.  He died.  He have heart attack and fell out of window onto
exploding bomb, and was killed in shooting accident.” – MPFC, ‘The Cycling Tour’

An Evolutionary Comment

I had thought, for quite a while, about becoming a vegetarian.  Still do, occasionally.

However, the borderline-insanity intolerant and demanding preaching of militant vegans has evoked in me the same reaction that militant atheists used to have toward religion, before their cause became archaic and passe.

Throwing off one’s own “chains” (Thank you, Albert) is fine…but to yell at other people to demand that they do likewise serves no logical or useful purpose.  It merely alienates them and, if anything, pushes them away from your cause.  Which is why I find true believers (or non-believers) infinitely preferable to crusaders of any kind – only an emotional coward (Thank you, DD) would change their beliefs because someone else TOLD them to.  And, as long as any individual is doing no harm with their beliefs – or lack thereof – to mock, insult, yell at, etc…them simply because you feel you are “right” is childish and petty.  And a thorough waste of time.

Well…I appear to have gotten a little off topic there, but…no harm done.

I like the taste of meat.  I’m an omnivore.  Therefore, I will keep eating it.  If you don’t like that…WTF do I care?

Just add “Militant Vegans” to the list of unwelcome site visitors.  Thank you.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Foo Real

I thought I knew all it took to bother you
Every word I said was true; that you’ll see
How could it be I’m the only one who sees
Your rehearsed insanity Yeah

I still refused all the methods you’ve abused
Its alright if you’re confused; let me be
I’ve been around all the pawns you’ve gagged and bound
They’ll come back and knock you down
And I’ll be free

I’ve taken all and I’ve endured
One day it all will fade I’m sure

I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything

I had no hand in your ever desperate plan
It will turn and when it lands words are due
I should have known we were better off alone
I looked in and i was shown you were too

I’ve taken all and I’ve endured
One day it all will fade I’m sure

I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything
I don’t owe you anything

I’ll Stick Around
I’ll Stick Around and learn from all that came from it

Why I Don’t Post Much Lately – Commentary – Comment Rip

Noone seems to give a sh1t either way, so I figure I’ll take the same amount of hits for not posting as I get for posting.

Commentary: If the new game in which you try to knock someone out with one blow is the cause of teens going around trying to do it in real life, why do I doubt that a new game in which you try to give a small portion of your allowance/income to a charity of your choosing would have a similar effect?

Oh, by the way…I think in my next life, I’d like to come back as the President of France.

Why?  Because I think it’d attract a lot of traffic to the website.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Best That You Can Do

I’ve heard and read a lot of bullsh1t about “doing your best”.

Plenty of great quotes about it, really…here’s one of my favs:

(paraphrase, I don’t wanna look it up) “Losers always whine about their best.  Winners go home and f@ck the prom queen.” – Mediocre Dreckheimer flick.

Sounds really cool, like it could slide into ‘Pulp Fiction’, really great sound bite(sp?) and all, but it’s horsesh1t.  Just like all the rest of them.

Truth is, the only people who think “Winning Is Everything” are losers, scumbags, and egotists.

The difficult thing is…your best is a LOT more than you probably think it is.

“I tried my best.”
“Did you win?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me!”
“What the fck do I care?”
…

– “…To say dying without attaining one’s aim is a foolish sacrifice of life is the flippant attitude of the sophisticates.”
– “To die without gaining one’s aim is a dog’s death and fanaticism. But there is no shame in this. This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai. If by setting one’s heart right every morning and evening, one is able to live as though his body were already dead, he gains freedom in the Way. His whole life will be without blame, and he will succeed in his calling.”
– Hagakure

And if you interpret that as morbid, you simply don’t understand.

Because it’s deep.  20,000 Leagues Deep.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Bullying – A Short Commentary

In light of recent comments by some defending possible bullying, even hypothetically, here’s a general commentary:

The fact is that morons who say that, IN ANY SITUATION, people who don’t “stand up to” people that are bullying/hurting them are somehow by definition therefore weak and cowardly AND IN ANY WAY “thereby” deserving of said bullying are…

Idiots.  That’s the perfect word.  Idiots.  And also possibly bullies.  But AT LEAST Idiots.

The fact is, if noone BULLIED anyone else, there would be NO NEED TO STAND UP TO THEM.

It happens because scumbags choose to make it happen.  Period.

Get it?  How many neanderthals/thalettes don’t understand this?

That’s not even getting to the fact that bullying is quite often ILLEGAL (see “Idiots”, above).

Some people say “Well, just stand up to them.”  What if “them” is 10 against your 1?

Some people say “Well, all bullies are cowards.” Not all.  I’ve made this mistake in the past – MOST bullies are cowards.  Some bullies aren’t cowards, they’re just scumbag sadists that get off on other people’s pain.

There’s no easy solution.

OH…except one…STOP FCKEN BULLYING PEOPLE YOU A$$HOLES.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Predicted (Overstated, Admittedly) Inevitable Decline Of Wes Welker

Ok, so he’s still d@mn good.  And I wish we had him

But…

2011: 122 Receptions, 1,569 Yards, 5 dropped passes (2.9 percent)
2012: 118, 1,354, 10 dropped passes (5.7 percent)
2013: On pace for: 100-1,110, 10 dropped passes (6.9 percent)

(Source: SportingCharts)

And he’s 32.  And he’s taken a POUNDING the last six years.  He’s not getting better, folks.  He’s getting worse.  Just because he’s still really good doesn’t mean he’s not in decline.  Cuz he is.

Yes, he’s caught 9 TDs.  He would have caught 15+ as a Patriot if they didn’t have a MUCH BETTER end zone target (Rob Gronkowski). 

Meaningless.

But of course I appreciate all he did for the Pats, and especially this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WCb17psf8A

-Puppy >.< Yip!

12/22/13:

Edit on prediction, and comparison:

Wes Welker, 2013: 73 catches, 10 drops.  Drop percentage: 9.0
Julian Edelman, 2013: 89 catches, 6 drops.  Drop percentage: 4.7

Faux News – 11/3/13

So I just found out (cuz why would I ever want to read anything about/by her?) two things, sort of by accident, about Megan Fox.

1) She’s bisexual
2) She’s a sexist MORON

“I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means
they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want
to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.”

But yet you sleep with men. So your men are magically non-dirty?

“They’re boys; they’re easily toyed with.”

Well, in a way…I mean, you have nothing to offer except your body and yet people pay attention to you. Then again, you actually BELIEVE that anyone thinks you have any talent or relevance.

Not sure who’s more stupid. And when you’re older but just as dumb, they won’t care anymore…and you’ll still have no talent or relevance.

I guess it’s ok to be sexist as long as you’re female. Well…not “ok”, but…not QUITE as bad, you know.

In response: I guess a little because she’s a dumba$$ and I deserve it more, and no I wouldn’t.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

I Thought Of Better Ones, But This Is What You Get

Sporting News writer David Steele recently wrote an article in which he placed Eli Manning (as part of the New York Giants) as the “8th worst quarterback situation in the NFL”.

Now, I’m no Eli Manning or Giants fan.  I mean, they cost my Patriots two Super Bowls.

But saying that Eli Manning is, despite two Super Bowl wins and everything he’s done in the past, and based on seven games (less than half of one season), the (at best) 25th best quarterback in the NFL just goes to prove my long-held belief:

David Steele is a moron.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 47)

SO FCKEN TIRED of the “X has a higher IQ than Einstein!” celebratory, incredulous headlines.

Yeah, so what the fck have they done?  When they USE that IQ to do ANYTHING anywhere NEAR what Einstein did, then it’s a story.  Until then it’s the same as “X is in better baseball shape than Babe Ruth!”.

And even then, ask yourself this:  If you raise your child so worshipful of the idol of knowledge as opposed to FUN and LIVING that they’re as smart as 99.9 percent of adults by the time they’re ten…WTF is wrong with you?

P.S. Some store in England should sell Deli Rice.

P.P.S. Seamentea

A Free One

If you’re thinking about starting your own horrible-movie review blog, here’s a one-size-fits-all starter kit for you.

When you watch your first truly wretched movie (try anything on my F List), review it as follows:

“Well, I’d have t-
Oh, forget it.  Just pretend you’re Tom Servo and you’re interviewing Rick Sloane.”

The reference is the end of ‘Hobgoblins’ MST’d, you can make that as clear as you want.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 46.9)

I don’t have much, but here’s the best of the latest:

Given my seed-sucking on Subeta, I think it’s safe to say the following:
“I am The RestocKing!!!”

When they were describing how Rob Ryan took over a last place defense and is “turning it around” and the usual BS they do when they have nothing smart to talk about, I couldn’t help but groan in that “Oh GOD what a load of sh1t” sort of way.  You know the way.

And then, when his defense (which had already given up 23 points to a team with the brilliant WR tandem of Dobson/Thompkins) allowed a game-winning drive to up the total to 30, I couldn’t help but think of Star Trek, TOS, the last episode: “Now, all the years of training and prep- Ooops, I fcked up.”

Oh, and one final thing…I have a suggestion for an edit on those car commercials about “and” being better than “or”:
*Woman* “Isn’t it great that this car I’m a consumer whore for has blankity-blank AND blankity-blank?”
*Man* “Why yes, fellow consumer whore as I am one as well, it is.  So much better than blankity-blank OR blankity-blank.”
*Woman* “That’d be like stupidexample OR stupidexamplepart2.
(now, the edits…)
*Man* (Or woman, choose the order, it doesn’t matter) “Ummm…not really, actually.  By the way, why are we having this inane fcking conversation?”

OR:
*Man* “Yeah…and is so much better.”
*Woman* “So you’d like a kick in the groin AND a night of frigid non-sex?”

Response

It hurt me very much when we stopped talking, a LONG time ago.

It hurt again when you ignored my heartfelt, sincere attempts to reconnect with you. 

And so I said goodbye to you; and in all the time since then you made absolutely no attempt to acknowledge me in any way, shape, or form that would show you had any interest whatsoever in being my friend or even in any way associated with me, at all, ever.

So when I get a random message after all that time saying not much of anything, the only logical response I can think of is:

Have a good life.

Jeux Sans Frontieres

Anyone that derides any game as childish or meaningless/pointless is just fooling themselves.

Everyone plays games.  At every age.  The only things that change are the games you play and how you play them.

That you choose to label them as something else does not change what they are.

“Shall we play a game?”

“I don’t like to lose.”

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 45)

Ok, now I understand when people say that some people take sports WAY too seriously, it’s just a game, etc etc etc.  I agree.

But on the other hand, I think it’s equally as absurd to either:
1) HATE sports, as if they are a tool of evil (they’re JUST GAMES, right?  How can you HATE games?????)
or…
2) Believe that every male that likes sports is by definition a moron.  That’s just dumb.  I mean, if you think all football players are just big dumb fat guys, try memorizing an NFL playbook.  You don’t even have to move a muscle, just read one, and be able to recite exactly what you would do on every play based on what every other player does.  Purely intellectual.

Apparently advertising people subscribe to this notion as well, based on the following ad:

Coors Light Commercial.  Everyone in the bar is always smiling. 

Cut away, cut back: SMILE…

another cut, SMILE…

another…SMILE.

It’s like, with Coors Light they smile about EVERYTHING?

“Hey, good to see you!” SMILE

“You look really great!” SMILE

“Oh sh1t, I gotta go take a piss!” SMILE

“FCK!  I just spilled my beer!” SMILE

“OMG I don’t believe she shot me down!!!” SMILE

“I drank WAY too much, man, I feel like I’m gonna vomit all over you!” SMILE

The Welker Delusion

It’s a critical attribute for any NFL (or any pro sport) GM/Exec/Scout/Coach/Etc to be able to see the gradual beginning decline of a player before it becomes blatantly obvious to the masses.  That’s when you trade said player based on their presumed level of talent when you know they’re going nowhere but down.  Slowly, perhaps, but down.  And once you start to decline as an athlete, you generally don’t go back up.  You just keep going down.  The great ones just go down a LOT slower.

So, based in no small part on the fact that Wes Welker (and this is a non-verified observation…no mathematics involved, just eyes) from what I saw (and I saw a lot) dropped more passes last year than the past 3-4 years combined, his loss has been greatly exaggerated.

Would he be better than Boyce, Dobson, or Thompkins?  Sure.

But I think the pendulum has swung from 2-3 years ago to the point where I can now say that Wes Welker is a poor man’s Julian Edelman.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Spock Delusion

If you ever encounter a CA/A who invokes Spock in their argument/defense/overall attitude, feel free to make them aware of the following:

1) Spock (as with all Vulcans, not because he was half-human) was an extremely emotional being.  Because he suppressed these emotions does not mean they did not exist.  If any actual research had been done, as is the CA/A MO, this would have been known to them.

2) Many Vulcans are theists, if you know what “theism” means in the broadest (real) sense.

Same-Day Edit: It’s actually…well, not amazing, knowing them…but remarkable that trying to find ANY reference to “theism” anywhere that could possibly in any way be seen as unarguably positive or even non-negative is a ‘1984’ like struggle against the Ministry of Truth.  I mean, I could’ve SWORN that the last time I looked up “Vulcan” on Wikipedia, it said they were theists.  But this time, that section is completely absent…ALMOST as if someone had intentionally gone in and removed it retroactively for (mis?)information purposes.  So, I went to several other sources to verify the FACT that at least some Vulcans are, in FACT, theists.  Fictionally, of course.  But isn’t it sad how rabid these people are?  I mean, I knew CA/A’s aspired to worldwide propaganda, but if you have to turn into Big Brother to denounce “brainwashing”…well…ummm…yeah.

Ridding The World Of All Known Problems

What does that? Antitheism, of course! A lack of religion would eliminate all the world’s problems.

In other news, North Korean leader’s ex-girlfriend executed by firing squad for making porn.

Well…there goes that theory.

Thanks CA/A’s, GREAT idea! (Re: JJ – MPFC, “HTDI”)

I mean, my position is SO EASY! I don’t have to prove that religion is “good”, I merely have to prove that evil fcked up sh1t would happen COMPLETELY WITHOUT religion. Personally, I feel a bit let down…I was hoping for a challenge. :(

-Puppy >.< Yip!

5/17/16: Rumors of her death may have been greatly exaggerated. But if you’re POINTING THAT OUT – that is to say, if you’re trying to show that North Korean leadership “isn’t all that bad…” – just to back up your obvious bullsh1t hypothesis…you really need to rethink your priorities.

8/12/16: Just a little clean-up. But hey, check out ‘There They Go, Satisfied Customers By The Thousands!”. That’s some funny stuff.

A Theory – And It’s Mine

Well, it’s more of a theory in the Anne Elk sense…that is, it’s an obvious fact to anyone but a MORON.

Ahem…ahem…

AHEM!

As I’ve said countless times (well, I could count, but that’d be boring and I’m on a roll) before, religion can NEVER be done away with.  I’d like to explain that I put the word “never” in all caps for reasons of emphasis.  NEVER.  As in, not ever.  *Knock Knock* Hello…hello, McFly?

As extremely reluctant Einstein-esque quotee Spock is oft quoted as saying FOR CA/A’s: “Yield to the logic of the situation.”

Would Spock pursue an impossible goal?  No.  That would be illogical.  A silly, pointless, illogical human reaction.  Spock would accept as reality the facts of the situation.  And he would move on.  Not to mention that Vulcans are THEISTS, but that’s beside the point.

I mean, it simply cannot be done.  It’d be like saying to him “Spock, our group wants to work on computing the exact numerical value of Pi.”  He would look at you, probably with a raised eyebrow, explain how that was impossible, and politely decline to join your waste of time.

“Computer.  This is a class A compulsory directive.  Compute to the last digit the value of Pi.  *Pause* As we know, the value of Pi is a transcendental figure without resolution.  The computer banks will work on this problem, to the exclusion of all else, until we order it to stop.” – ST: TOS, ‘Wolf In The Fold’

CAN’T BE DONE.  Understand?  CANNOT.  No.  Never.  Ever.  Impossible.  There will ALWAYS be theists.  Always.  Forever and ever.  And if all current theists stopped believing and all religions were done away with (ALREADY an IMPOSSIBILITY), people would MAKE UP NEW ONES!!!  What the Hell is wrong with you people?  My lack of God, it’s annoying!!!

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Criticism Where Criticism Is Due, Praise Where Praise Is Due

In the spirit of that, I’d like to say that GoDaddy acted fast in responding to the DOS attack I’m currently still under.  Thanks!  I mean, when you’re under a Denial of Service attack (which tries to prevent you from getting hits) and your daily hits go UP, that’s a good sign.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Gilliam Vs. Spielberg

Ok, so recently Terry Gilliam made a comment something to the effect of: Steven Spielberg isn’t a very good director, he just makes predictable and formulaic movies for the masses complete with happy endings.

Now, I LIKE Terry Gilliam (at least, his work) but he’s clearly always been a little bit insane (watch ‘Flying Circus’…no, he wasn’t on drugs) which tends to add to his work sometimes, but it makes his serious commentary, well at least in this case, suck.

Spielberg’s ‘Minority Report’ (based on a Philip K. Dick novel, I know, but Gilliam said “director”, not “writer” or “complete comptroller”) is brilliant.

Introducing Gilliam to that equation would have gone pretty much like the Python equation: he hovers behind MUCH more talented people (Idle, Cleese especially) and chimes in with the occasional bit of fun nonsense.

In order for Spielberg/Gilliam ‘Minority Report’ to have been as good, Spielberg would have had to be in charge of 98 percent of it, and Gilliam the other 2.

1 percent of that would be his inspired creativity that was the equal of Spielberg’s (I’d say 98:1 is a fair ratio of talent) and the other 1 percent would be the same as from Python: nonsense, inane/insane surreal references given meaning only by those that adore French cinema (see Python’s ‘French Film Sketch’) and, of course, a confusing ending.  In fact, the ending is the ONLY thing Gilliam could really improve…he’d get his 2 percent there.  Maybe.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 44)

It’s amazing, to me, how many different states of mind there are.  How many different ways of “knowing” “reality”.  Sure, there are people that are so similar as to make it virtually the same, but there are literally BILLIONS of different ways of looking at/sensing/feeling the EXACT same conditions.  How anyone, with this in mind, can believe with certainty that their “reality” is the absolute truth is mystifying.

A Theory On Cancer – By Puppy

Recently saw an online article about a new study linking cell phone use to cancer.

So?  What’s the news here?  That’s like the studies that PROVED that smoking had a direct connection to lung cancer. 

Everyone already knew.

My theory is: Anything that isn’t natural for the human body to deal with, anything that the human body is not MADE to deal with, that it is FORCED to deal with on a massive scale over a very long period of time, causes cancer.  And nothing else does.

Lungs aren’t meant to inhale smoke, they’re made to inhale oxygen.

Our bodies weren’t designed to process artificial ingredients/effects/items, so prolonged exposure to large amounts of them can cause cancer. 

I mean, maybe this is completely off base, but it seems logical.  I can’t think of a single instance where someone was diagnosed with cancer, and the natural contact with something the body was designed to come into contact with was pointed to as the cause, or even suggested as a possible cause.

The human body is a natural organism, it behaves according to natural laws.  When things are introduced that are unnatural, despite the ENORMOUS adaptability of the human body, eventually, given enough prolonged exposure, harm is caused.  I have no facts to support this other than what seems my common sense, as it does seem logical.

What A Silly Bint

Bint Alshamsa: (Responses in parentheses)

“X, Y, Z, and all of the other butthurt white people on this thread:”

(How very Christian of her…obviously she means “butthurt” in the non-pejorative sense)

“Racism against white people never occurs. It is, in fact, impossible.”

(I see…)

“Racism is power plus prejudice”

(Mathematical equivalent: Racism = X, Power = Y, Prejudice = Z.  Therefore, the statement is: “X = Y + Z”)

“there are people of color in positions of power”

(Mathematical equivalent: Y is present in (some) people of color)

“Prejudice is simply the prejudging of a person without knowing them.”

(So, in order to make the mathematical model above NOT apply, you would have to say: no non-white person has ever, in any way, shape or form, prejudged a white person without knowing them, while also being in any position of power in any way, shape, or form.  Oh…I don’t know…)

“Arabs can’t ever be racist against Black people”

(See Above)

“Chinese people can’t ever be racist against Japanese people.”

(See Above)

“Japanese people can’t be racist against Chinese people.”

(See Above)

“Aaron, I’d let you remain ignorant and sit back and laugh. However, because I love white people, I’m not going to do that.”

“If I hated you, I’d just let you remain ignorant and sit back and laugh.”

“Who do you think it was that made it necessary for people of color to bring the case before the Supreme Court? I’ll give you a hint. It starts with “white” and ends in “people”. LOL”

“You lose. LOL”

“By the way, I can’t stop laughing…”

(Hmmmmmmmmmm…)

“@Aaron it always amuses me when white people like you try to blame people of color for your racism.”

(“White people like me”?  That sounds a bit…oh, nevermind.  But anyway, moving on…ummm…first of all, I’m not a racist.  Second of all, I didn’t try to blame anyone for me not being a racist.  Third…your argument is inventing itself and fulfilling itself, but is completely false.)

“You’re a racist”

(Well that’s just not true…and it’s certainly not a nice thing to say in a public forum.)

“you want to be one”

(I do?  I didn’t know that…)

“Adults take responsibility for their behavior.”

(And, since you’re an adult, your statements are your responsibility, by your own argument.)

“They don’t try to blame other people.”

(So, again, by your own argument, you won’t blame me for pointing out what you did, in fact, write in a public forum.  Great, thanks.)

“White people don’t get to decide what’s racist.”

(Wow…who does?  Everyone else?  Sounds a bit…oh, nevermind…)

“white people don’t get to decide what’s racist, even when they get really butthurt because they can’t make decisions for the rest of the world any more”

(Wow…what’s with the butthurt thing?  And you’re suggesting that ALL white people want to make ALL decisions for the entire world?  That sounds a bit…oh, nevermind…)

“As I told Aaron, the kidnapping and trafficking and enslavement and rape and torture and lynching and genocide of millions upon millions of people of color is far more than just rude, but you have no problem remaining complicit in that.”

(You suggested that, because someone disagreed with your definition of racism, that they “condone…kidnapping, trafficking, enslavement and rape and torture and lynching and genocide of millions upon millions of people of color”.  Hmmmm…sounds like someone needs a nap.)

“…you just don’t want to hear if from a woman of color…”

(Yes, white people would completely accept BS statements if only a white person had made them…that’s why white people never argue with each other, because it’s a vast conspiracy…???)

“…Japanese and Chinese people ARE the same race.”

(Wow…I did not know that.  I still don’t.)

“Slavery only went away when enough white people started dying on plantations and it stopped being a sustainable way for lazy people to get rich.”

(This is my favorite: Slavery did NOT go away because the Union beat the Confederacy.  The Confederacy was going to immediately end slavery regardless of the outcome of the Civil War.  Don’t laugh at me, I’m just trying to translate into non-fanatic here…)

“…folks like you thought it was a-okay to call us your slaves.”

(To someone else, but basically directed at white people.  Yeah…I feel the guilt, really.  I mean…folks like me.  You know, people with the same skin pigmentation, who otherwise have nothing to do with me.)

“…you don’t get to decide who can be rude.”

(Do you?)

“I can’t force any white person here to let go of their racist attitudes.”

(But you gave it a DARN good try.)

“Aaron, actually, I still don’t coddle racists like you.”

(So, again, you’re calling me a racist in a public forum.  Very Christian.)

“Aaron’s pro tips:  2. Assume that ignorance is a valid excuse for being a white racist.”

(WAIT A MINUTE!  You said “white racist”.  Why did you say that?  Since, according to everything you’ve said before, ONLY whites can be racist.  Therefore, to say “white racist” is, by your own definition, redundant.  Unless of course you mean there can be other types of racists…but that goes against everything you’ve said previously.  You SEEM too eloquent to be TOTALLY redundant…Hmmmm…)

“By Aaron’s logic: Rapists should be the ONLY people allowed to decide when raped women have a right to get upset.”

(All levity aside, that’s INCREDIBLY insulting and, of course, blatantly untrue.)

“Aaron, feel free to sue me.”

(Well, you never know…)

“Aaron 2: white people should be allowed to rape, torture, enslave, and lynch people of color, since sometimes people of color are rude to them”

(I have no response to this…I would just suggest looking up “libel”)

“Aaron 3: Jesus is totally cool with Aaron defending the rape, torture, trafficking, enslavement and lynching of people of color, but he will smite anyone who is rude to those who defend these atrocities.”

(See Above)

“Aaron, you’re offended? Aww! You know what else is offensive? Being a racist. However, that doesn’t stop you.”

(It doesn’t make me happy at all to be the subject of potentially libelous statements, Bint. It actually offends me deeply. But if you want…)

Finally, to close, a question and answer…question asked by another person, and answered by me:

“Aaron…..are…you willing to say/type/admit that racism, whites towards minorities, in this country, is an ongoing, real and major problem?”

Yes, I am. Yes, it is.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 43)

“U.S. Readies Sale Of Reaper Drones To France” -Agence France Presse

When asked for comment on why they wanted so many of the drones, a French spokesman responded: “We GOTTA have more cowbell, baby.”

(free sample)

In the extremely unlikely event anyone ever actually asks me out on a date again and I want to say yes, I believe I will respond thusly:

“Well…beat’s scrubbin’ grout with a toothbrush.”

(there ya are, two for one!)

Oh GOD I’d love to learn French.  Such a beautiful language.

I mean, they think well, don’t they?  I mean, be fair…

Oh well, c’est la vie.

(Why don’t, wh- RUFF!)

I Have To Post On This

“Shot 16 Times By Cops, Innocent Man Files $20-Million Suit” – Title of recent AOL news video.

Basically they served a search warrant on an address, but the man they shot, who was lying in bed at the time, wasn’t the man they were looking for.

According to the two officers (one sheriff, one DOC) he “reached for what they thought was a gun”.

Now let’s think about this…there’s two of them, and one of him.  They’re law enforcement, he’s not.

I’m not saying he did or did not “reach for what they thought was a gun”…but if he DIDN’T, hypothetically speaking, whose word do you think would be taken by most people (including, of course, the police)?  The two officers who corroborate the same story, or the one non-officer who tells a different story?  Again, I don’t know what happened…and to presume either way is wrong.  I’m just saying that IF, hypothetically, they told a different story…who would be believed?

But hey, what do I know.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 42)

“Ignorance is bliss” is an imprecise statement.

Is = to be.

Ignorance = lack of knowledge.

So basically, “ignorance is the equivalent of bliss” or “ignorance is the root/cause of bliss”.

Which is false, since I know plenty of ignorant people that are really unhappy, and…well, actually NOONE isn’t ignorant.  Of SOMETHING.  Unless you know everything there is to know…and I don’t think any one person does…you are, in at least one sense, ignorant.

Therefore, the statement implies all people are blissful, which is not only imprecise it’s also COMPLETELY inaccurate.

I suppose it makes sense as a metaphor, perhaps…but are metaphors really logical?  And even if they are, are they appropriate for “logic statements”?

I mean, according to this analogy (Hey!  That’s what it could be!) the more ignorant a person is, the happier they are.  Therefore, the opposite must be true: the more a person learns, the less happy they become.

Hmmm…maybe there’s more to the Cthulhu mythos than I thought…