A Theory On Cancer – By Puppy

Recently saw an online article about a new study linking cell phone use to cancer.

So?  What’s the news here?  That’s like the studies that PROVED that smoking had a direct connection to lung cancer. 

Everyone already knew.

My theory is: Anything that isn’t natural for the human body to deal with, anything that the human body is not MADE to deal with, that it is FORCED to deal with on a massive scale over a very long period of time, causes cancer.  And nothing else does.

Lungs aren’t meant to inhale smoke, they’re made to inhale oxygen.

Our bodies weren’t designed to process artificial ingredients/effects/items, so prolonged exposure to large amounts of them can cause cancer. 

I mean, maybe this is completely off base, but it seems logical.  I can’t think of a single instance where someone was diagnosed with cancer, and the natural contact with something the body was designed to come into contact with was pointed to as the cause, or even suggested as a possible cause.

The human body is a natural organism, it behaves according to natural laws.  When things are introduced that are unnatural, despite the ENORMOUS adaptability of the human body, eventually, given enough prolonged exposure, harm is caused.  I have no facts to support this other than what seems my common sense, as it does seem logical.

What A Silly Bint

Bint Alshamsa: (Responses in parentheses)

“X, Y, Z, and all of the other butthurt white people on this thread:”

(How very Christian of her…obviously she means “butthurt” in the non-pejorative sense)

“Racism against white people never occurs. It is, in fact, impossible.”

(I see…)

“Racism is power plus prejudice”

(Mathematical equivalent: Racism = X, Power = Y, Prejudice = Z.  Therefore, the statement is: “X = Y + Z”)

“there are people of color in positions of power”

(Mathematical equivalent: Y is present in (some) people of color)

“Prejudice is simply the prejudging of a person without knowing them.”

(So, in order to make the mathematical model above NOT apply, you would have to say: no non-white person has ever, in any way, shape or form, prejudged a white person without knowing them, while also being in any position of power in any way, shape, or form.  Oh…I don’t know…)

“Arabs can’t ever be racist against Black people”

(See Above)

“Chinese people can’t ever be racist against Japanese people.”

(See Above)

“Japanese people can’t be racist against Chinese people.”

(See Above)

“Aaron, I’d let you remain ignorant and sit back and laugh. However, because I love white people, I’m not going to do that.”

“If I hated you, I’d just let you remain ignorant and sit back and laugh.”

“Who do you think it was that made it necessary for people of color to bring the case before the Supreme Court? I’ll give you a hint. It starts with “white” and ends in “people”. LOL”

“You lose. LOL”

“By the way, I can’t stop laughing…”

(Hmmmmmmmmmm…)

“@Aaron it always amuses me when white people like you try to blame people of color for your racism.”

(“White people like me”?  That sounds a bit…oh, nevermind.  But anyway, moving on…ummm…first of all, I’m not a racist.  Second of all, I didn’t try to blame anyone for me not being a racist.  Third…your argument is inventing itself and fulfilling itself, but is completely false.)

“You’re a racist”

(Well that’s just not true…and it’s certainly not a nice thing to say in a public forum.)

“you want to be one”

(I do?  I didn’t know that…)

“Adults take responsibility for their behavior.”

(And, since you’re an adult, your statements are your responsibility, by your own argument.)

“They don’t try to blame other people.”

(So, again, by your own argument, you won’t blame me for pointing out what you did, in fact, write in a public forum.  Great, thanks.)

“White people don’t get to decide what’s racist.”

(Wow…who does?  Everyone else?  Sounds a bit…oh, nevermind…)

“white people don’t get to decide what’s racist, even when they get really butthurt because they can’t make decisions for the rest of the world any more”

(Wow…what’s with the butthurt thing?  And you’re suggesting that ALL white people want to make ALL decisions for the entire world?  That sounds a bit…oh, nevermind…)

“As I told Aaron, the kidnapping and trafficking and enslavement and rape and torture and lynching and genocide of millions upon millions of people of color is far more than just rude, but you have no problem remaining complicit in that.”

(You suggested that, because someone disagreed with your definition of racism, that they “condone…kidnapping, trafficking, enslavement and rape and torture and lynching and genocide of millions upon millions of people of color”.  Hmmmm…sounds like someone needs a nap.)

“…you just don’t want to hear if from a woman of color…”

(Yes, white people would completely accept BS statements if only a white person had made them…that’s why white people never argue with each other, because it’s a vast conspiracy…???)

“…Japanese and Chinese people ARE the same race.”

(Wow…I did not know that.  I still don’t.)

“Slavery only went away when enough white people started dying on plantations and it stopped being a sustainable way for lazy people to get rich.”

(This is my favorite: Slavery did NOT go away because the Union beat the Confederacy.  The Confederacy was going to immediately end slavery regardless of the outcome of the Civil War.  Don’t laugh at me, I’m just trying to translate into non-fanatic here…)

“…folks like you thought it was a-okay to call us your slaves.”

(To someone else, but basically directed at white people.  Yeah…I feel the guilt, really.  I mean…folks like me.  You know, people with the same skin pigmentation, who otherwise have nothing to do with me.)

“…you don’t get to decide who can be rude.”

(Do you?)

“I can’t force any white person here to let go of their racist attitudes.”

(But you gave it a DARN good try.)

“Aaron, actually, I still don’t coddle racists like you.”

(So, again, you’re calling me a racist in a public forum.  Very Christian.)

“Aaron’s pro tips:  2. Assume that ignorance is a valid excuse for being a white racist.”

(WAIT A MINUTE!  You said “white racist”.  Why did you say that?  Since, according to everything you’ve said before, ONLY whites can be racist.  Therefore, to say “white racist” is, by your own definition, redundant.  Unless of course you mean there can be other types of racists…but that goes against everything you’ve said previously.  You SEEM too eloquent to be TOTALLY redundant…Hmmmm…)

“By Aaron’s logic: Rapists should be the ONLY people allowed to decide when raped women have a right to get upset.”

(All levity aside, that’s INCREDIBLY insulting and, of course, blatantly untrue.)

“Aaron, feel free to sue me.”

(Well, you never know…)

“Aaron 2: white people should be allowed to rape, torture, enslave, and lynch people of color, since sometimes people of color are rude to them”

(I have no response to this…I would just suggest looking up “libel”)

“Aaron 3: Jesus is totally cool with Aaron defending the rape, torture, trafficking, enslavement and lynching of people of color, but he will smite anyone who is rude to those who defend these atrocities.”

(See Above)

“Aaron, you’re offended? Aww! You know what else is offensive? Being a racist. However, that doesn’t stop you.”

(It doesn’t make me happy at all to be the subject of potentially libelous statements, Bint. It actually offends me deeply. But if you want…)

Finally, to close, a question and answer…question asked by another person, and answered by me:

“Aaron…..are…you willing to say/type/admit that racism, whites towards minorities, in this country, is an ongoing, real and major problem?”

Yes, I am. Yes, it is.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 43)

“U.S. Readies Sale Of Reaper Drones To France” -Agence France Presse

When asked for comment on why they wanted so many of the drones, a French spokesman responded: “We GOTTA have more cowbell, baby.”

(free sample)

In the extremely unlikely event anyone ever actually asks me out on a date again and I want to say yes, I believe I will respond thusly:

“Well…beat’s scrubbin’ grout with a toothbrush.”

(there ya are, two for one!)

Oh GOD I’d love to learn French.  Such a beautiful language.

I mean, they think well, don’t they?  I mean, be fair…

Oh well, c’est la vie.

(Why don’t, wh- RUFF!)

I Have To Post On This

“Shot 16 Times By Cops, Innocent Man Files $20-Million Suit” – Title of recent AOL news video.

Basically they served a search warrant on an address, but the man they shot, who was lying in bed at the time, wasn’t the man they were looking for.

According to the two officers (one sheriff, one DOC) he “reached for what they thought was a gun”.

Now let’s think about this…there’s two of them, and one of him.  They’re law enforcement, he’s not.

I’m not saying he did or did not “reach for what they thought was a gun”…but if he DIDN’T, hypothetically speaking, whose word do you think would be taken by most people (including, of course, the police)?  The two officers who corroborate the same story, or the one non-officer who tells a different story?  Again, I don’t know what happened…and to presume either way is wrong.  I’m just saying that IF, hypothetically, they told a different story…who would be believed?

But hey, what do I know.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 42)

“Ignorance is bliss” is an imprecise statement.

Is = to be.

Ignorance = lack of knowledge.

So basically, “ignorance is the equivalent of bliss” or “ignorance is the root/cause of bliss”.

Which is false, since I know plenty of ignorant people that are really unhappy, and…well, actually NOONE isn’t ignorant.  Of SOMETHING.  Unless you know everything there is to know…and I don’t think any one person does…you are, in at least one sense, ignorant.

Therefore, the statement implies all people are blissful, which is not only imprecise it’s also COMPLETELY inaccurate.

I suppose it makes sense as a metaphor, perhaps…but are metaphors really logical?  And even if they are, are they appropriate for “logic statements”?

I mean, according to this analogy (Hey!  That’s what it could be!) the more ignorant a person is, the happier they are.  Therefore, the opposite must be true: the more a person learns, the less happy they become.

Hmmm…maybe there’s more to the Cthulhu mythos than I thought…

Quote Me On This

Here’s what will happen (well, it’s already happening, but…and I think I said this before, but just in case I didn’t…)

1) CA/A’s will throw off their chains and yell and scream with FUUURRR-ious anger.
2) Some non-CA/A’s will be offended and engage, others will ignore.
3) Conversations/arguments will go nowhere, but continue for no adequately explored/explained reason.
4) I will rip Douglas Adams just to piss off CA/A’s, even though he’s overrated.
5) CA/A’s will obtain marvelous accomplishments such as a bench, an organization, and a catchphrase for me.
6) Non-CA/A’s will find that the CA/A’s grow tiresome and cease engaging.
6.9) CA/A’s will gradually grow tired of screaming as they have fewer and fewer things to scream about, leaving only a small, borderline-lunatic fringe still screaming.
7) World will continue, ignoring this fringe group as it ignores other fringe groups.
8) CA/A’s will live in own world, because insulation protects against reality.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

In Living Colour!

“…(Pope) Francis apparently objected to the statue on account of his abhorrence of the cult of personality…”

From The Huffington Post, article by Paul Brandeis Raushenbush.

“Personality cults were first described in relation to totalitarian
regimes that sought to alter or transform society according to
radical ideas…Often, a single leader became associated with this revolutionary transformation, and came to be treated as a benevolent “guide” for the nation without whom the transformation to a better future couldn’t occur. This has been generally the justification for personality cults that arose in totalitarian societies of the 20th century, such as those of Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini and Joseph Stalin.” – From Wikipedia, “Cult of Personality”

Now if only CA/A COP heads of state (Hello, North Korea!) would follow suit.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

A Plea For (Selective) Ignorance

I am SO sick of the elitist “In the information age, ignorance is a choice” cliche.  Which implies that ignorance is ALWAYS, by definition, bad.

Ignorance(n): The condition of being uninformed or uneducated. Lack of knowledge or information.

What if I just don’t give a fck about something?  I mean, if I’m choosing between Cruise and Hoffman in that hotel, I’m gonna choose to have sex and remain ignorant over choosing to gain “knowledge/information” by reading the phone book.  To “g”…half of g.

I mean, if you really believe it’s better to know the names and numbers of everyone up to half of G in a town you’re never coming back to and know noone in because that’s “information” than to relax and fck around, you are a moron.  Of course, this is just a straw dog.  Or a salad day.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The Acceptable Double-Standard

“REDLANDS, Calif. — A Southern California high school teacher was arrested on unlawful sex charges two weeks after she gave birth to a baby that was allegedly fathered by a student, Redlands police said Tuesday.

Laura Elizabeth Whitehurst, 28, was arrested Monday night for
allegedly having unlawful sex with a 16-year-old, Redlands police
spokesman Carl Baker. She was the boy’s adviser.”

Age of Consent in the state of California: 18

So when a male teacher has sex with an underage female student, it’s rape.

When a female teacher has sex with an underage male student, it’s…well, just kinda naughty.

Exactly where is the “equality” here?

Because you have a vagina it means you can rape kids?

Brilliant comments displaying the wonders of sexist double-standard stupidity:

“It takes 2 to tango! The Boy is the father so why is it a crime? They
both did it so why is she being charged for It? She just gave birth so
let her be. And If the Boy’s mom doesn’t like her then be it. I’m sad
for the baby.”

“16 is not a child. He is old enough to know right from wrong”

(Both of these made by supposedly female commenters).

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Brilliant GoDaddy Customer Service (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

So, 4 and 1/2 days after I received an email saying I would receive another email about my complaint within 24 hours, I call and ask why I haven’t…get an answer, ask if I’ll get an email when it’s resolved…then it goes something like this:

“Yeah, you’ll get an email when it’s resolved.”
*Pause*
“Ok…” *Pause, waiting for further comment*
*None forthcoming* “…thanks.”
*Pause* “Yup.”
*Pause, waiting for further comment*
*None forthcoming* “…bye.”
“Bye.”

I feel special, oh so special.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Edit: Prior to this all my customer service with GoDaddy had been good, and I was responded to nicely regarding this…in the spirit of fairness. :)

I Am Puppy Hear Me Degrade – Sensitive Antitheist Post(s) Of The Day (6/25/13)

I didn’t KNOW this person was a CA/A until after I’d read a couple of their sensitive posts and then looked at their complete collection, but I had this CRAZY HUNCH…anyways here goes:

Regarding the idea of dogs feeling any emotions/To people that suggest anything of the sort:

“Animals form bonds, yes, as do molecules.”

“If you knew what real love was you wouldn’t be looking for it in a dog.”

“Once you know what it means to be human, you won’t be worried about animals.”

– He’s a lighthaus.  Your call.

Pre-Emptive Analysis

Headline: “Christian group’s stunning decision”

BEFORE reading the article, or any responses, here is my review of the CA/A responses to it:

“See?  Religion is horrible…they’re all the same.”

When a non-religious person does something wrong, here is my review of the past/current/future CA/A responses to it:

“That has nothing to do with me, we’re all individuals.” (In Bleating Unison)

-Puppy >.< Yip!

A Statement Of Appreciation

To Whom It May Concern (If you don’t know this is you…it isn’t):

I have never, in my whole life, known a more racist, hateful, ignorant, borderline-fascist, narrow-minded, deceitful, two-faced, backstabbing, traitorous, disloyal, pathologically-adept-at-lying, fake, morally empty, shallow, insincere, pathologically-adept-at-faking-emotion, manipulative piece of rat feces (metaphorically speaking) than you.

Thank you, for making me realize how strong a person I can be.

And tell BL he’s still a p@ssy.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

To Protect And Hush-The-Whole-Thing-Up

First, satire meant to poke fun at reality:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JshcuLgIalM

Then, reality:

http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2013/06/17/contreras-sexual-assault-las-vegas/?icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl4|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D330406

Wow…the first one doesn’t seem all that bad…

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – *SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE* (housekeeping)

Memoirs Of An Intellectual Coward

Ok, so apparently I’m an “intellectual coward”.  According to Dick Dawk and his followers.

Reason:  I refuse to give any real thought as to the existence/non-existence of God.

Why?  Two reasons:

1) It is impossible to say with certainty either way, and even the question itself is impossible to answer at its core, since the word “God” has many different meanings to many different people.  Mathematically speaking, there are BILLIONS of possible meanings for the word “God”, if you include all deities ever considered since the dawn of humanity and also all abstract concepts of a force/higher power/superior being/etc…there is NO WAY to know the answer, and I’ll find out when I die.  I have enough patience to wait until then.

2) It is totally irrelevant.  I live my life according to my morality:  I’m not perfect, but I think I’m a decent person.  If someone told me my actions would/would not get me rewarded, I would not change my behavior.  If someone told me my actions would/would not get me punished for eternity, I would not change my behavior. 

On a related note, to suggest that all theists only act the way they do out of desire for reward/fear of punishment is the equivalent of suggesting that all believers in the existence of laws and police to enforce them only act the way they do out of fear of punishment.  That is to say, noone obeys laws because they BELIEVE in their morality, everyone just does it cuz they don’t wanna go to jail.  But, deep down inside, we’re all killers/rapists/thieves/scumbags.  Which is, of course, good solid empirical evidence that Dawkins is a c@nt (although there is solid empirical evidence to the contrary, see recent post).

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Puppy Poll – 6/13/13

One person was asked the following questions:

Do you think anyone in the government gives a sh1t about what anyone not in the government thinks about any government program beyond what will directly affect their ability to get re-elected?

Do you think that polling people to determine what they think about any government program and/or what they want done about it is anything but a complete waste of time to pretend that we actually have any voice in what will actually happen (overtly or, if necessary, covertly)?

Doris Dog kisses Rock Tree and she says?????

No.

No.

I can’t take it anymore!!!!!

This poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 100 percent.

No puppies were harmed in the taking of this poll.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Suggestion

Regarding similar posts, and given the recent outcry over many things, think about this before you waste your time yelling and screaming:

If the government of ANY country REALLY wanted one of their citizens monitored/imprisoned/”disappeared”/dead, do you think “legality” would be a stopping point?  Look at history and think about human nature, add a dose of common sense and realize that the answer is a great big fat “NO”.

Is that an endorsement?  NO, just as great big and fat.

As a hero once said: “I was not attempting to evaluate its moral implications…”

It’s a statement of fact.  At most, legality/illegality is a major and annoying “inconvenience”, if/when it comes down to that. 

So, instead of WASTING your time arguing about an issue of legality that, even if solved to your complete pleasure, would have absolutely no practical effect other than to make you feel better about yourself and allow you to THINK “things are ok now” in bliss, spend that time doing something that has an actual, practical, undeniably REAL good effect: help people in need, help animals, help a worthy charity, take the time you spend venting and spend it on being good to the people you love…just an idea.

Or, to put it into simple flow chart format for the CA/A’s:

Best outcome:
1) Law passed banning all unauthorized X (let’s say, monitoring)
2) Overt reaction: law is followed
3) Covert reaction: law is followed/ignored as deemed necessary
4) If re-discovered: outrage is feigned, people are fired.
5) Go back to 2

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Suggestion From Captain Pedantic

Accept the following:

Any government can and will use every method at their disposal, “legal” and “illegal”, to protect national security.

Only two types of people will deny this: Idealists, and Ignorants.

The only difference is, if it’s “legal”, it’s easier than if it’s “illegal”.

So all the debate about government surveillance is meaningless.  It doesn’t matter what anyone says, it doesn’t matter how many people get mad, it doesn’t matter if a law is passed, or not.

However, no government will use every method at their disposal on every individual in every instance in every form.

Only two types of people will deny this: Conspiracy Fanatics, and Ignorants.

Noone cares that you’re watching ‘Game Of Thrones’.  Noone cares that you’re calling someone to say “Hi, what’s up?”.  Noone cares that you’re forwarding a chain email to 100 people.

Here’s the problem, as with DNA (see ‘Big Brother Is Swabbing’):

Because this can be done, therefore it can be abused.  Fact.  (See ‘Hoover, J. Edgar’)

There are so many permutations, good and bad, that I can’t even conceive of them, let alone bother to try to list them.  Just think about it.

Will some horrible people be stopped from doing horrible things via legal/illegal means?  Of course.

Will some people that have done nothing wrong be fcked with because of some BS reason that is enabled by blanket legal/illegal powers?  Of course. (see ‘Big Brother Is Swabbing’)

So read ‘1984’ and ‘Animal Farm’, keep your minds open, and remember that there is no such thing as ThoughtCrime.  Not yet, at least.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Atheists – A Clarification

I have nothing against atheists.  Technically speaking, I suppose you could call me one, since I am “not a theist”.  But I think Einstein said it best (multiple times).  So I’ll leave that at that.

If you don’t understand that, then you’re probably a CA/A and I don’t care anyways.  And go away, you shouldn’t be here in the first place.  If you do, this wasn’t really necessary I guess.  I just felt it was important to emphasize, YET AGAIN, that I like/dislike people based on their own personal merit and not their sex, race, religion, lack of religion, social status, etc.

With a few notable exceptions.  Because no Nazi is a good Nazi.  You get the idea.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Big Brother Is Swabbing

‘Supreme Court: DNA Samples Can Be Taken From Arrestees Without Warrant’

“According to the FBI, DNA from people who have gotten the
charge dismissed, who were acquitted or from whom no charges
were brought are supposed to be expunged from the federal system.”
-Jesse J. Holland

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAH…Oh…they’re serious.  “Supposed to be”????? They can’t even LIE categorically?

Now, after taking a long step away from both the “Anarchy-In-The-USA,K?” side and the “I completely trust my government” MORON side, here’s something to think about:

DNA can be obtained a number of ways.
DNA is INDISPUTABLE evidence in a court of law.
The only people that “control” the “DNA banks” of the FBI are the FBI.
The FBI has long performed illegal activities (See ‘Hoover, J. Edgar’)

So, while I’m not “morally outraged” that DNA can now be taken “just like that”…

(Why?  Because it ALREADY COULD.  Think about it.  Just because it isn’t legal doesn’t mean it can’t be done).

Here’s the problem (Well, one of many obvious and blatant ones):
Any intelligent person will admit that NOT ALL government employees operate within the law.
Any intelligent person will admit that NOT ALL government employees operate outside the law.
Any intelligent person will admit that NOT ALL people operate within the law.
Any intelligent person will admit that NOT ALL people operate outside the law.
Government employees = People.

Potential for abuse: Ummm…if you can’t see it…*Shrug*  That’s kinda sad.

I mean, the ONLY reason that (hypothetically) ANYONE can’t be found guilty of ANYTHING now (hypothetically) is that you need a REASON to HAVE “indisputable evidence”.

BEFORE:
“Your Honor, we have a swab of DNA that connects the suspect to the crime.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Ummm…nevermind.  And ignore the other person’s name on the vial.”

NOW:
“Your Honor, we have a swab of DNA that connects the suspect to the crime.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Routine swab, your honor.”
“Have you anything to say, suspect?”
“That’s not my name on the vial.”
“Oops…ummm…misfiled.”

I mean, I’m trying not to go ‘1984’ Conspiracy Theory crazy here, but anyone who would suggest that the MANDATORY taking of DNA samples BEFORE ANY GUILT OF ANY CRIME is proven could NEVER be used in an illegal/unethical fashion by the FBI/Other Authorities cuz…”well, they wouldn’t do that!  It’s just wrong!” is a total and complete MORON.

But the government is glad to have you.  You’ve chosen…SECURITY!
Congratulations. 
Baaaaa.

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” – Benjamin Franklin

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Robert Christgau – Inspired Mockery

If I try really hard, and I’m inspired, I can come up with sh1t that rivals his off-days.

Part two of two:

Guns N’ Roses

“The Spaghetti Incident?” [Geffen, 1993]
Talk about your anxiety of influence. As someone who never
thought punk had much to do with musicianship or musicianship
much to do with GN’R, I remain impressed even with the excitement worn off. I mean, Axl Rose damn near stealing “Human Being” from David Johansen? Because his drummer is so fierce? Fear and
UK Subs (!) and Nazareth (!!) tunes that belong on the
same record? What would Harold Bloom say? Something about Axl
being a sh1tty songwriter, I hope. Which wouldn’t be altogether
fair. But hey–criticism is unfair. A-‘

Puppy Edit: naughty word made less naughty.

Robert Christgau – Inspired Praise

This is what got me into (amateur) criticism in the first place.  If you haven’t, you should buy his music guides for the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s and read them cover to cover, repeatedly.  Doesn’t matter if you agree with anything he says…if you aspire to be a critic, he’s the man. 

And now, part one of two, in true Jarmuschian fashion:

‘R.E.M.

Document [I.R.S., 1987]

Their commercial breakthrough eschews escapism without
surrendering structural obliqueness, and after six years of
mushmouth I wouldn’t have thought it possible either. Maybe
they finally figured out that intelligibility doesn’t equal
closure (can’t, actually). Or maybe they just wanted to make
sure everyone knew how pissed off they were. In any case, these
dreamsongs are nightmares of a world in flames, the kind you
remember in all their scary inconsistency because you woke up
sweating in the middle. How it will all end I couldn’t say, but
it’s a healthy sign that their discovery of the outside world has sharpened their sense of humor along with everything else.
Inspirational Title: “It’s the End of the World as We Know It
(And I Feel Fine).” A’

– Robert Christgau (Robertchristgau(dot)com)

FINALLY – A Federal Crackdown On Bad Comedy

Headline: “Two men facing federal charges for prank-calling Buddy Nix, Mark Dominik”.

“They could face up to five years in prison.”

Is there ANYONE who thinks they’d be facing anything more than a disapproving tweet or FB rant if the two guys they pranked weren’t really, really rich?

What a load of sh1t.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Boston Vs. New York – Sporting Events, An Unbelievably Anal Analysis (By Puppy)

Based On Total TY (Team years, one year of one team in one sport = 1 TY)

So if 2 teams in 1 sport the same year, that’s 2 TY versus Boston’s 1 TY.

TY:

NBA (Including BAA)
Boston = 67 (Boston Celtics)
New York = 93 : 67 (New York Knicks) + 2 (New York/Brooklyn Nets) + 9 (Rochester Royals) + 15 (Syracuse Nationals)

NHL
Boston = 88 (Boston Bruins)
New York = 185 : 17 (New York/Brooklyn Americans) + 86 (New York Rangers) + 40 (New York Islanders) + 42 (Buffalo Sabres)

MLB (Modern Era)
Boston = 164 : 7 (Boston Americans) + 104 (Boston Red Sox) + 53 (Boston Beaneaters/Boston Braves)
New York = 275 : 50 (New York Mets) + 10 (New York Highlanders) + 99 (New York Yankees) + 58 (New York Giants) + 58 (Brooklyn Dodgers)

NFL (Super Bowl Era)
New England = 47 (Boston/New England Patriots)
New York = 141 : 47 (Buffalo Bills) + 47 (New York Jets) + 47 (New York Giants)

Argument: “New England isn’t just Boston”.  New York has plenty of fans in New England too, so get over it.  Games are played in Massachusetts…close enough.

Total Championships:
NBA:
Boston: 17
New York: 4

NHL:
Boston: 6
New York: 8

MLB:
Boston: 8
New York: 35

NFL:
Boston: 3
New York: 5

Total:
Boston: 34
New York: 52

Total TY:
Boston: 366
New York: 694

Championships Per TY, as of 5/17/13:
Boston: .09289
New York: .07492

But who’s counting, it’s just a game!!!  <=== I’m a funny guy!

Exchange of the Day (Part 4)

:Hopper: “What is it then, huh?  It’s the map.”
:Costner: “She’s my friend.”
:Hopper: “Golly gee a single tear runs down my cheek *vis* I mean you’re gonna die for your friend…”
:Costner: “If it comes to that.”

:Hopper: “…I don’t think you’re gonna drop that torch, m’friend…”
:Costner: “Why not?”
:Hopper: *In a calming voice* “Because you’re not crazy.”

-Waterworld

4/10/13

Freedom.

Yeah.

“You say the hill’s too steep to climb,
Climb it!
You say you’d like to see me try,
Climb it!
You pick the place and I’ll choose the time
And I’ll climb
The hill in my own way
Just wait a while, for the right day
And as I rise above the treeline and the clouds
I look down hear the sound of the things you said today
Fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd, smiling
Merciless, the magistrate turns ’round, frowning
And who’s the fool who wears the crown
Go down in your own way
And everyday is the right day
And as you rise above the fearlines in the frown
You look down
Hear the sound of the faces in the crowd” – Pink Floyd, “Fearless”

Recent Headline: “Poll: Striking Number Of Americans Want State Religion”

After listening to the BS prop from both sides, here’s the reality:

Whether or not there is a State religion would have ABSOLUTELY NO EFFECT on your life.  None.  It’s a NON-issue.  Anyone that campaigns for or against it: You are WASTING your time.  If you disagree, watch ‘A Civil Action’, pretend I’m the judge and you’re the cheese-man. 

“Few people waste THEIR time with it, or MINE…” Rip alteration acknowledged.

It will not make the US a more “moral” country, nor will it “promote” religion.  Unless you count the BS fake I’ll-say-I’m-X-religion-to-conform stance as “religion”.  And if you do, that’s sad.

It will also not force anyone to become Christian, turn the US into a fanatical Holy American Empire that sends troops for another round of Crusades, or make the US a less “free-thinking” country.

Sad.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The De-Extinction Debate – A Puppy Perspective

By all means, let’s bring back the Woolly Mammoth.  So we can stick it in a cage and OOOO and AHHHH at it.  How very evolved of us.

And of course, let’s bring back all of the species that were hunted to extinction so that they can inevitably be hunted to extinction again.  Since, judging by what we’re STILL doing to the environment, we haven’t “evolved” beyond making EXACTLY the same mistakes we did the first time. 

Wait, no…a “mistake” is something you do by accident.  Change that to “stupid me-first screw-the-next-generation-and-the-planet greedy and arrogant decisions”.

I mean, come on…this is ‘Rain Man’ science.  Massive amounts of pure intellect, no wisdom.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

In A Droning State Of Mind

According to a recent statement/letter/article, basically the US government affirms the right to kill a US citizen on US soil without any sort of trial or even an officially lodged charge.

Two comments:

1) Who was naive (and STOO-pid) enough to believe the government would NEVER do anything like that UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE…until they actually came out and said so?  I mean…come on.  I’m not a big conspiracy theorist, but people who believe the government would NEVER, EVER do anything illegal if it felt it was in the interests of national security are just as deluded (in the opposite direction) as people who think everything is a government plot.

2) Who is paranoid enough to now believe this will lead to a collapse into a totalitarian state where people are constantly being killed by random drone strikes unless they salute Big Brother?

Tip: If you want to avoid being killed by a drone strike as a US citizen on US soil, don’t do anything that immediately threatens the national security of the US.  e.g.: don’t build your own nuke, don’t climb to the top of a belltower carrying a bag full of automatic weapons, don’t place any orders with Chemical-Weapons-R-Us and make the address “The White House”…

*SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE*

Think about it, really. 

-Puppy >.< Yip!

EXCITING Billboard Update – By Puppy

Newly-minted signs link belief in God to insane far-right stupidity via a *cough cough* “misquote”.  Wait no…isn’t a “misquote” when you ACCIDENTALLY…errrmmm…nevermind.

Well played BS propaganda, American Atheists.  Well played BS propaganda.

Hey, maybe they read my “Billboard Idea” post and learned from it that attacking Sarah Palin is a lot easier than attacking Jesus? 

I mean, they didn’t rip my “THINK FOR YOURSELF” idea, but suggesting that Sarah Palin = Faith is undeniably more clever (since almost everyone agrees she’s a MORON) than suggesting Jesus = Myth and therefore non-non-theists = stupid.

Hey, I don’t promote these people OR their (or any) propaganda, I just circulate the information. (MST rip).

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Interesting – Something To Think About

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPKKQnijnsM

the “Wealth Inequality In America” video.

No comment, just something to think about.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

P.S. – Actually screw that, comment:

People who complain about the dangers of Socialism (losing freedom, Stalin, blah blah) when they see this are confusing “more equitable but still basically capitalist profit structure that rewards hard work without putting HUGE numbers of people in complete poverty” with “Socialist dictatorship”.

Small mistake.