The Way Things Are

It’s amazing, I think…how some people can watch a movie like ‘The Shawshank Redemption’, and CRY – like I do – and then proceed to show that their tears were false; evoked by outside forces but not really felt, as meaningless as any other lie.

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Good clip from a great movie. (housekeeping)

Dating: Substance Over Situation

So…”ideal date”…I don’t get that.

I UNDERSTAND…I just don’t get it. Like Michael Stipe and “this fame thing”. (My periods are above the normal laws of English).

Everyone knows, deep down inside at least, that the answer to this question in the basic, expected sense (dinner and a movie, meet for coffee, meet for tea, meet in the middle of a rubbish dump, etc…) is VIRTUALLY meaningless compared to what you’re REALLY thinking/feeling when you ask/are asked that.

Which is: “Who gives a sh1t? The most wonderful situation would be ruined by the wrong company and the most mundane, boring situation would be vastly improved by the right company.”

It’s a cr@p question. It’s part of the charade…I mean, noone CARES about half the stuff on a dating site. It’s trivial and unimportant, put there to fill up space between the things people actually DO care about.

Which would be: What do they look like, how do they think, how do they “feel”, what do they believe, what do they want…you know, things that actually really matter when it comes to compatibility.

The rest is, in comparison, meaningless.

It’s the civilization of dating/mating; a way to make it easier for shallow people to find each other, and for non-shallow people to weed out the shallow ones. Nothing more. (Per JJ: ItMoM, JT)

It would serve just as well, but be considerably more honest/less subtle, to simply have (apart from the necessaries described above) a section labeled: “Write whatever you want:”

That’s what people are looking at. Noone cares what your favorite food is, not REALLY. They want to see “you”. They want to see how you present yourself. At least, I HOPE most people are this way…it would be sad if someone actually messaged someone else MAINLY because they both like the oxford comma.

So if you see a profile where they skip the BS and just get right to the point, it’s not necessarily because they have nothing to say. It’s not necessarily that they “don’t care”. It MAY be because most of the questions asked are deemed unworthy of lengthy answer, since they essentially don’t mean a d@mn thing. Therefore, to not answer is a legitimate means of expression.

Or, they just don’t give a sh1t. Too close to call, really.

BTW…why the fck does everyone like ‘Amelie’?

The First Step

Fearless (Waters, Gilmour) 6:08

“You say the hill’s too steep to climb
Climb it.
You say you’d like to see me try
Climbing.

You pick the place and I’ll choose the time
And I’ll climb
That hill in my own way.
Just wait a while for the right day.
And as I rise above the tree lines and the clouds
I look down, hearing the sound of the things you’ve said today.

Fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd
Smiling.
Merciless the magistrate turns ’round
Frowning.

And who’s the fool who wears the crown?
And go down,
in your own way
And every day is the right day
And as you rise above the fear-lines in his brow
You look down, hearing the sound of the faces in the crowd.”

Ya know’t I mean?

…So Is Every Character You’ve Ever Made (Or: Why You’re A Fcken Moron If You Dismiss Anna’s Songs As “Unoriginal”)

“If an artist may say nothing except what he has invented by his own sole efforts, it stands to reason he will be poor in ideas. If he could take what he wants wherever he could find it…his larder would always be full, and his cookery might be worth tasting.”

“Every idea is a juxtaposition. That’s it. A juxtaposition of existing concepts.”

“All writing is in fact cut-ups. A collage of words read heard overheard. What else?”

And, My Top Three (Well, I Did STEAL THEM ALL, But…)

3) “The beauty of the collage technique is that you’re using sounds that have never met and were never supposed to meet. You introduce them to each other, at first they’re a bit shy, clumsy, staring at their shoes. But you can sense there’s something there. So you cut and paste a little bit and by the end of the song you can spot them in the corner, holding hands.”

2) “Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal; bad poets deface what they take, and good poets make it into something better, or at least something different. The good poet welds his theft into a whole of feeling which is unique, utterly different from that from which it was torn; the bad poet throws it into something which has no cohesion.”

1) “Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is nonexistent.”

-Puppy (The third letter stole from the first, and the fourth stole from the first AND the third!)

Spock’s Reaction

From IP: 5.45.68.89 in The Netherlands.

NOTE TO SELF: Think of an interesting name to dub them.

Hey, nice to see you again. I was beginning to get worried.

Crazy Swedes…

“They’re (Dutch).”
“Whatever.”

And Now…

“…why are you probing my website?”

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Decent clips from a movie/show. (housekeeping)

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Eighteen

“…There was a man who said, “Such and such a person has a violent disposition, but this is what I said right to his face…” This was an unbecoming thing to say, and it was said simply because he wanted to be known as a rough fellow. It was rather low, and it can be seen that he was still rather immature…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Billy Bob Thornton in a small (but very well-acted) part in the movie ‘Tombstone’.

Why My MUD Roleplay-Quality Reviews Are Better Than Yours

Regardless of other factors, I give what is, in my opinion, a COMPLETELY accurate assessment of roleplay quality…one unbiased by current favorites, current moods, current storylines, urgings to post reviews in exchange for Quest Points, urgings to post reviews in exchange for a pat on the head, friends I wanna suck up to IC, friends I wanna suck up to OOC, friends whose feelings I don’t wanna hurt…and so on. I mean, you know I do. And you know you don’t.

*Daffy Tongue*

Sources Of Inspiration

Oh, for any interested TI players that might read this and that “heard” Anna play, here are the inspirations for the three songs she played (not including improv, short performances, etc):

1) See previous post, ‘Noon’

2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWV6dcv21c8

3) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxgfNUYP9XY

And here’s the one I was working on:

(leaving out certain parts, with extreme variations)

And thanks for the memories. Great Party! :) (Seriously).

At least Moxie’s one note revelation saves Anna the problem of deciding which Noble House to be the Court Bard of.

MUD Review – The Inquisition: Legacy (Plus Bonus Footage)

Ok, so ‘The Inquisition: Legacy’ is moving rapidly up the TMC top 20. And probably rightfully so. Visiting recently, I found almost every player and Imm friendly, helpful, and pleasant.

The roleplay is, as with any MUD, varied. There are some people that do it very well, there are some people that do it very badly, and there are lots of people in the middle.  I would add, in TIL’s favor, that – unlike say…oh, I don’t know…FK – they actually ARE Roleplay-Intensive. Roleplaying actually IS required. You have to actually play a CHARACTER. So, at least the mediocre role-players are mediocre roleplayers PLAYING CHARACTERS as opposed to say…oh, I don’t know…mediocre roleplayers doing a hang-out chat on a MUD, with nametags required to differentiate them from one another.

So I recommend TIL. And you know me…I’m a fairly harsh critic. If you like roleplaying (and can deal with the setting, of course, which is based on Medieval Inquisition-ish times) this is pretty high on the list. It’s not ‘Armageddon’, but…it’s high up.

It’s improving, too…both codewise and player-base wise. Not that more players means they’re all BETTER…but the more there are, the greater the chance…etc.

However, I don’t think I’ve ever had a reaction, from another character, in character, that was as incredibly, mind-numbingly stupid as the following:

“”Do you have more than one string on your viol, miss Dalton?…I am no musician, but I am confident that a musical piece should have more than one note played at varying speeds.” Moxie Von Demuregan says, drumming her fingers on the table.”

This is after player writes ELEVEN PARAGRAPHS describing how the song is NOT all the same, edits them AT LEAST a dozen times, and makes them as COMPLETELY EVOCATIVE as possible.

I mean, Moxie…did you even read the descriptions? Or did you close your eyes after the first paragraph? And also…are you intentionally trying to play a completely moronic character? Because if you ARE, then…well, I stand corrected, and you’re doing brilliantly. Otherwise I just…I mean, if you’re playing a character with above-moronic intelligence, you shouldn’t play them as moronic. That’s just bad form for an RPI, RP-Enforced MUD.

AT LEAST four other people (I’m being conservative here) read the same text and said, basically, some variation of “That was absolutely beautiful”, “Words can’t describe it”, “That was Heavenly”, “Amazing”…the list goes on. Oh, and many emoted having their mouths drop open, staring in amazement, being on the verge of tears, etc. So, ummm…I think the problem here is one player has no fcken clue. I mean…there are BLIND PLAYERS on TIL that can read better than Mox.

Instead of eleven carefully-written paragaphs (the length of which player of Moxie did NOT complain about…they made it clear it was the “just one note”) I probably would have gotten a more positive reaction if I had typed the following:

“pmote plays a note.

pmote plays a different note.

pmote finish.”

EDIT, 9/8/15: To those that say: “Well, anything’s okay if it’s IC” my response is this: Any SUBJECTIVE response IC to another character is one thing…a response that ignores A SPECIFICALLY STATED FACT is another. You can’t just pretend something happened that didn’t, didn’t happen that did, or speak in gibberish in terms of your reactions to other characters, cuz you feel like it. Unless you’re playing an insane idiot.

I mean, I know music is subjective…but some things are just OBVIOUS…like, if you listen to a 5-piece band play and say you only heard one instrument…and you don’t have a hearing problem…you’re quite clearly…something.

Here’s the song I describe with ELEVEN PARAGRAPHS to get her response.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc6e8NOswOg

I think you’ll notice, after the REALLY long intro (I started at around 2:23, so skip til then…Given 6 paragraphs), there appears to be a slight change in volume and sound (at 3:03, given 4 paragraphs…1 paragraph was the fading sound). Maybe that’s just me.

EDIT, 9/10/15: The volume of the call-and-response is actually a combination of the parts at 2:23 (softer) and the parts earlier beginning at 1:10 (louder, harsher), and then even louder, each(!) note(!!) more distinct(!!!) as it grows. Just FYI.

I think this is the proper response to Mox’s judgement:

Of course, this is ALL just my personal opinion and/or satire.

Ummm…judge for yourself. And play more than one note, d@mnit!

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Good clips. From movies. (housekeeping)

Carrying On – A Metaphor

Commentary: Believe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umhDCtOoJZ0

5/24/16: Imagine the scene from ‘Braveheart’ where Robert the Bruce leads the Scots in a charge against the English army.

More commentary: If they take down a link that sends a message, explain that message in words, without the clip, as a big F U.

So what happens in the clip that doesn’t work is… (watch the end of ‘Braveheart’)

Also, I think they’re running out of things for me to edit here…thank you, for every day making my website better by pointing out areas that need improvement.

One Dozen Communist Revolutions

Cesar vs. Garfield, ‘187’

Find Your Own Answers. You Haven’t Long To Read.

Actually it IS pretty long, ummm, but…anyways:

*click*

You ever seen ‘Deer Hunter’ Mr. G?

*spin*

Put it to your head…

…pull the trigger.

You gonna do yourself.

*click* *click*

That macho enough for you?

That make me a man?

Take more than that to be me.

Yeah?

Then you do it.

Come on, maricôn.

Do it!

Vato’s scared.

He’s trying to weasel out.

He’s f@cking with your head!

*spin*

*click*

Come on.

That’s not how we playing the game.

Not man enough to play your own game?

Where’s your cojones?

*PUNCH*

Shut up!

You gonna hide behind your chickensh1t homeboys?

Where’s your pride?

Come on, I pulled three times.

You ain’t pulled once.

You disrespecting me?

You saying I ain’t a man?

I’m saying you’re a fool.

Don’t be doing that sh1t, man!

*click*

You the man, Cesar.

You the man, and you ain’t sh1t!

You hear me?

What the f@ck?

Your turn.

Oh you got some respect back now?

The only thing you respect is stupidity.

You willing to die for stupidity?

See,  I am,  if it’ll teach you something.

You can’t kill me,  homeboy.

What I am,  what I was,  died over a year ago.

Everything I’ve ever wanted has been TAKEN from me.

And no matter how many of you I get rid of…

…I can’t get it back!

I was a teacher!

I wanted to help you!

You can’t

*click*

kill me!

And you can’t scare me!

He’s crazy, man.

That’s right!

Isn’t that what you respect?

Loco! Come on, Cesar!

If you’re gonna be stupid, don’t be half-@ss stupid,

be all the way stupid!

Put it to your head, pull the trigger!

Do it!

Do it!

Your whole way of life is bullsh1t!

Macho is bullsh1t!

It’s all I got!

Oh so now you’re the victim?

Let me take your turn for you.

*bang*

Sh1t!

He’s out!

He’s f@cking out!

He smoked himself!

Let’s go.

Oh, man! Let’s go, homey.

He took my turn.

What?

I could’ve taken

my own motherf@cking turn.

So f@cking what? He’s dead.

Let’s go! Come on!

I’ve gotta do this.

F@ck this!

What are you doing? Let’s go!

I got one in six chances-

I’m gonna beat this b1tch.

*bang*

What the f…?

Why’d you do that, man?

What’s the f@cking point?

…ON, and ON, and ON, and…

“Frasier: I’ve been observing what’s been going on over here and I have something to say.
Sam: Listen up here, Woody.
Frasier: Do you realize that in the course of the evening, Diane has made 17 errors in the areas of grammar, etiquette, and statement of fact?
Diane: Frasier, your pedantry is insufferable. And you suck eggs.”

To Pedantic CA/A’s And Pseudo-Scientists – Advice From Diane Chambers

Per my previous post, perhaps this applies to me as well :(

“Frasier: I’ve been putting off telling you something, but I feel I must now. You’ve been using the word “really” far too frequently. In fact, it’s become really noticeable. It’s really quite maddening, really.

Diane: Frasier, I know you’re disappointed that I didn’t accept your invitation, but I really– I don’t think that’s any reason to get on my case.

Frasier: “Get on my case.” What a charming bit of slang.

Diane: Frasier, nitpicking at my choice of the correct modern English does not make you any more attractive to me. If that’s the purpose in your visits here, perhaps you should find another tavern in which to bore the life out of the clientele.”

Stop With The F@cken Cursing Already, Huh?

My theory is as follows:

People who use swear words every other word in conversation are like people who use the word “like” every other word in conversation. It like really gets like sort of like droning and like after like a while people just like sort of like tune out like the likes, and like they just like serve as like placeholders between like real words.

Or, as I state elsewhere:

“Expletives lose their meaning when employed constantly.”

Please…don’t turn into the “Inconceivable!” guy.

I mean, what the f@ck???

The World…The World…The World…SUCKS

OK I can’t find this ANYWHERE…but if anyone knows where a copy of the WAAF Rick Pitino Rant Mashup can be found, PLEASE let me know. It involves a lot of sucking.

Actual details: It’s the one where he says a few things “suck” and a few people “aren’t walking through that door”…and it’s mashed up very nicely. ME WANT!

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Seventeen

“…In the Kamigata area they have a sort of tiered lunch box they use for a single day when flower viewing. Upon returning, they throw them away, trampling them underfoot. As might be expected, this is one of my recollections of the capital [Kyoto]. The end is important in all things…”

SPOILER: ENDING

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A powerful ending to a great film.

This May Mean Something…But I’m Not Proud Of It. OH, And Also An NFL Update.

“Top Ten Visitors – By Country” I believe is the post title. It’s actually a shame I don’t still have that count. I’m pretty sure I posted it somewhere here, actually…at some point. But in any case, I’m satisfied with “over a million”.

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Good clip from a very good movie. (housekeeping)

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Sixteen

“…Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one’s body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears and swords, being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease or committing seppuku at the death of one’s master. And every day without fail one should consider himself as dead…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – Very good performance by Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday; two interesting scenes from the movie ‘Tombstone’.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 96)

Is it just me, or does the opening to “Everybody Hurts” sound a lot like the Stuart Smalley ‘Daily Affirmation’ intro music?

First, the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijZRCIrTgQc

Now compare:

Of course, regardless, they’re both good enough, they’re both smart enough; and doggone it…people like them.

BTW…bite me.

A Pre-Emptive Retort, And Final Word (It’s Too Easy)

I do, in fact, have YEARS of experience with FK.

My characters (well, a few at least) were loved and received many compliments.

I was there when Dalvyn and Gwain played, and recently with Liora and…unfortunately, still Gwain.

I’ve known the game, very well, for many years.

I’ve seen the vast improvements in every area but one.

It is…a subjective opinion.

But…it is not one made out of bitterness. It IS my genuine opinion.

Roleplay has always been mediocre, with a few exceptions.

And it still is…there’s been no advancement whatsoever.

I’ve gone back, and back, over and over. Why? I think a current player summed it up well when they said to me OOC “It’s like crack.” You know it’s bad, and you don’t WANT to…but you just can’t help it. For me…it’s the glimmer of hope, at finding the two or three good roleplayers in the entire game.

I’d like to emphasize, also, that I have NEVER been officially asked to leave by a member of staff. And, according to their rules…they CAN do that.

All IMPO of course.

-SUBJECT RELAYING ACCURATE ACCOUNT, THOUGH SOME STATEMENTS SUBJECTIVE; NO PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES-

And now, a bit of fun (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE):

Theory: FK is, in fact, the great lost work of the magnificent L.F. Dibley; an undiscovered Festering, a monumental achievement, and an unrivaled statement on the proper length, format, and content of optimum roleplay. Vis:

(3:58-4:32)

Bye FK…if there’s any relevance to TMC’s rankings regarding adherence to type (in this case, listed: “Roleplay Enforced”), you will fade and be forgotten.

10/16/16: FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A good clip from a great show. (housekeeping)

I’ve Run Out Of Clever Post Titles For Mediocrity, So Here’s Stuff (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

“I had to go the complete MUD list to find FK. We’re being beaten by TroilMud! This is embarrassing! Everybody make MUD Connect accounts and vote! I am not satisfied until we’re back at 4th place, where we rightfully belong! Long live Forgotten Kingdoms!”

Forgotten Kingdoms forum post, January 2015

Apparently, FK votes are garnered through persistent and annoying pressure rather than genuine opinion. In my opinion, of course.

Forgotten Kingdoms – Odds and Sods (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

1) FK – The Mediocrity Watch

After a brief challenge of Armageddon, FK’s current 3rd is now closer to 4th than Arm’s 2nd. Triumph of substance over well-meaning dreck.

Don’t get me wrong…I love the well-meaning.

But sweet, gentle, polite, cheerful cr@p is still cr@p.

2) Wanna know why FK is ranked 3rd on TMC, and Harshlands 71st?

FK cares about being popular.

Harshlands cares about roleplaying. Demands it, actually…mediocrity could not survive there for long. Hence, a mass migration.

That’s just my opinion, of course.

3) Memo To Ireland

You rock. Can you please export FK to some much cr@ppier country?

4) Oh, and the final and best example of JH-level roleplay:

Almost all characters, when faced with an opposing viewpoint, will – instead of discussing, arguing, listening, speaking directly to the opposer – almost inevitably and robotically turn to another player and talk about the opposing player and their viewpoint as if they weren’t there.

I mean…EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Lawful, Neutral, Chaotic, Good, Evil…identical.

I’m not joking.

Like covering their eyes and ears and yelling “NANANANANANANA I CAN’T HEAR YOU”.

Try it, if you don’t believe me.

The clique leaders do, the clique followers laugh and/or agree.

It’s…sad. THIS MUD is challenging Armageddon! There is no justice of quality in the world.

Forgotten Kingdoms – I JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH! (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

From FK’s TMC entry:

“Forgotten Kingdoms is an RPI (Role-Play Intensive) game”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ummm…no. Try it and see.

“Roleplaying Is Enforced”

Ummm…I specifically recall being told, by an FK Imm (Immortal, person who runs the game) (in my words, but accurate IMPO) that it was acceptable for players to logon and simply type “kill (mob)” over and over for hours. Hours in FK equalling days. How this is “RP Enforced” and not “Powergaming Accepted” is beyond me.

Also, since Anachronisms are HORRIBLY rampant…and not just subtle ones; blatant, in-character references to specific modern-day items, terminology, etc…that are then explained, in-character, weakly and without any merit…I hardly think “RP Enforced” is an appropriate label, unless the “RP” being enforced is “Mediocre characters who stand around chatting like angsty, giggly teens and make rampant anachronisms”. If that is what they mean, then spot on.

“The game has over 250 unique areas and is still growing rapidly, thanks to a large team of builders who continuously update existing areas as well as adding new areas and
challenges.”

Quite true. The “game” is constantly growing, “areas” are constantly being updated and improved, etc…all completely accurate.

However, none of this changes the fact that roleplay is almost universally mediocre. And has been…for years. Good players come, and go…I assume, like myself, to better RP MUDs. No exaggeration…YEARS. The roleplay level, with a few RARE exceptions, has not improved AT ALL in YEARS.

“New characters can choose from a huge range of races and subraces, including shield dwarves, moon elves, mountain orcs and even planetouched characters such as genasi, aasimar or tieflings.”

Incorrect. Or, at least, very misleading. New “characters” may be able to choose these things…but NOT new “players”. New players have limited access to races – no genasi, no aasimar, no tiefling, no moon elf…

“Once you have selected your characters race, you must choose a base class of Warrior, Wizard, Rogue or Priest, each of which offers a different roleplay experience, and can be further customised by joining one of almost 50 guilds.”

To a limited extent, yes. Warrior makes you fight with big weapons. Wizard makes you fight with small weapons, and spells. Priest makes you fight with medium weapons, and spells. Rogue is not allowed to new players. That is basically the difference in “roleplay experience”, since virtually all characters currently playing are interchangeable personality (or lack thereof) wise.

“The last major decision to be made by any new character is to decide where they grew up – possibilities include several famous Forgotten Realms locations, including Waterdeep, Zhentil Keep, Menzoberranzan and Mithril Hall.”

Again, incorrect…or, very misleading. New “characters”, perhaps…but not new “players”. New players start in Waterdeep. Period. Since this was carefully worded to say “characters”, I must conclude it is propaganda.

(EDIT, 8/17/15: New PLAYERS may be able to start in a few other cities, depending on alignment. However, since the vast majority of characters are in Waterdeep, and the only other considerable player base AT ALL is in Zhentil Keep, all non-evil characters can start in either A) Area where noone else will be to RP with, so they travel to Waterdeep or B) Waterdeep. I’m not certain because I’ve NEVER tested it out…play is in Waterdeep and ZK, with VERY RARE exceptions. Period. And roleplaying alone is not fun.)

That is, it is written for players who don’t know about the MUD. These players will assume (rightfully so, IMPO) that this means they can pick any race, hometown…and that’s just false.

I mean…trying to attract new players is great. But deceptive advertising (IMPO only, of course) in order to bring in new players before they find out the ACTUAL choices…is just a numbers-grab. It’s an attempt to bring in everyone, regardless of quality. Hence, why FK’s mediocrity stands the test of time. One reason of many, but still.

“A unique ‘spell memorisation’ system based on system used in
Dungeons and Dragons. This means no mana!”

Semantics. Spells “regenerate” in your character through time and a random element. That this isn’t called “Mana” really doesn’t change how it works, IMPO.

“Many avenues for character development, including joining up with factions such as the Black Network or the Grey Hands, joining the inner circle or even becoming the high priest of one of 30 faiths…the possibilities are myriad!”

Suggested Disclaimer: ‘Black Network, Grey Hands, Inner Circles, and High Priest positions unavailable to non-clique members unless one is willing to RP with clique members and pretend they don’t suck.’

And, even without that…it doesn’t matter. No matter who you become, how powerful, in what way, in what organization…you will be roleplaying with a vast supply of mediocre role-players. If that is your limit…then go for it. If you have higher aspirations, they will NOT (IMPO, over years of study) be met here, with VERY few exceptions. And if you’re one of two good roleplayers logged in out of 25…why are you on the MUD, instead of in a chatroom, where the mediocrity can be dispensed with?

“Forgotten Kingdom’s greatest strength is its large population of superb role-players…”

No, no…”large population”, yes. “superb role-players”…two. Maybe three. Not counting myself, because I don’t consider myself “superb”…just…pretty good. However, even “pretty good” would be incorrect, IMPO, if substituted in the quote for “superb”.

Here is, IMPO, an honest replacement statement:

“Forgotten Kingdom’s greatest strength is everything else which hides the mediocrity of the vast majority of the large population of its role-players…”

FK Roleplay – An Excerpt (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Ok, so…during a fairly recent period on FK, in Market Square…errr CENTER, pardon me, this is what basically happened for a couple of hours:

A dozen or so characters came and left, intermittently, with at least three present pretty much at all times. Liora attempted to generate actual roleplay. Thaien, identically-drab son of Thanasis (Faith Leader, Former Faith Leader), Lylena (hand-folding Faith Leader), Gwain (omg…see ‘Irrepressibly Drab And Awful’), some other character whose one “individual” characteristic is “says everything from behind a cowl”, some other character whose one “individual” characteristic is “tries to sleep with every female character in the game” (I think he also plays another fav of mine, but not sure…Casimir, who actually has TWO “individual” characteristics: “Slowly moves a talon up and down” and “Speaks in a wind-affected voice”), and some other characters who are too lazy to even have that one characteristic all engaged in…chat. No character, no characters, no roleplay, no personality. Nothing. Just chat. IN CHARACTER. The equivalent of what you’d see on most RP MUDs (REAL roleplay-enforced ones) ooc chat channels.

A fairly accurate representation, IMPO:

“How go things?”
“Fine, yourself?”
“Very well. I just (insert name of hack n’ slash accomplished recently).”
“Great. So…have you seen (insert name of established generic character) lately?”
“No. Last I saw them they were with (insert name of romantically-linked other established generic character).”
“(insert generic witticism here)”
“(laughter and smiles)”
…Repeat…

I’m not joking.

Deep Puppy Thoughts (Part 95)

There are two people, in particular and at least, who disagree with (or are a bit…sensitive to) my recent posts.

My question is: Why would two people with such disdain for my posts visit my website 5 and 3 times, respectively, in a period of less than three hours?

“I hate you, I hate you! Your posts are meaningless, noone cares about them, they’re not worth reading! Ummm…I’ll be back in a few.”

Forgotten Kingdoms – A Day In The Life (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Took me a while to get on here…traffic. But I digress.

…it’d love to turnnnn…youuuuuu…offffffff…

Ahem.

First, you create your character. Name, class, race, alignment, description, adjective, etc etc etc…

Which sounds very complex. UNFORTUNATELY…none of this makes any difference. All characters, with a few notable exceptions, are generic automatons of mediocrity.

You will NOT find someone to roleplay your concept with. They do not exist there…IMPO.

Once that is done, you may have to wait up to 24 hours to be approved. Because, of course, they must verify that your name is acceptable, you have a suitable description, and so on. Of course nine times out of ten (yes, I’ve done enough iterations) you will be approved within half an hour: REGARDLESS of anything except (maybe) your name. In that case, you will have to change it, and wait another…30 minutes, max. (nine times out of ten…there are exceptions, although whether these are out of lack of attention or a desire to give the impression that actual analysis is taking place is open for debate).

Having accomplished that, you will be spat out into a Tavern in
Waterdeep. Everything will look really pretty.

Then, you’ll get the same first job everyone gets every single time they play, with every single character. Evidently, there is a Lamplighter who has been scared for YEARS to light lamps, and whose fear only abates temporarily when aided.

Then, after some time in the Snookery, you will go to Market Square (now Center…it’s been expanded). There you will await other characters, and, if you are any good at roleplaying, you will tolerate their mediocrity with a metaphorical forced smile; it does not harm you, after all, to reply to such mediocrity if you have ANY skill at roleplay. You can do so at ten percent of your RP capacity, and you’ll fit right in.

Assuming you stay, you will continue to return to Market Center, over and over and over again. You will listen to inane conversations and you will tell yourself “There MUST be other good role-players on here…if I can just pretend this isn’t cliquey JH-level roleplay cr@p, so as not to insult all the powerful players in the game…I’ll meet a good roleplayer.

Eventually.”

The vast majority of powerful characters are decadent, mediocre, undefined, generic, boring, without distinction, and absolutely and completely ignorable…EXCEPT, they are the Faith Managers. Therefore you MUST pretend that they can roleplay (as a representative of a God) at least well enough for you: a neophyte with practice armor.

I think, for me…the most egregious example of utter mediocrity as a baseline is the fact that ALL the powerful characters, no matter their alignment, ethos, powerful convictions, etc…talk to each other. Politely. The same as to every other character. In the Market Square. Good and Evil, mortal enemies at times, by the very definition of their deities…chatting.

Just…chatting. Not, speaking because it is necessary, but roleplaying being appropriately disgusted (or at least dismayed). Just…chatting. Meaningless, trivial, worthless. Without any roleplay value. Every character…JUST like every other.

Again…try it.

Make a character, try it…and tell me I’m wrong. Reply, send me a log, ANYTHING…

Unfortunately, that won’t happen. Because you can’t post something that doesn’t exist. And, unless you’re a Pof Mediocre-Character-X (or Y, or Z, or…) or a friend (IC and OOC crossover is rampant), you can’t deny anything I’ve said, without, IMPO, lying.

There’s no realism here. It is not “roleplay-enforced”. Anachronisms are completely allowed, if not encouraged. One player speaks with thee’s, thy’s, and thou’s…and the next says “hey, wanna go to rat hill?”.

SERIOUSLY! I’m not making this sh1t up!

So, as long as you can avoid being Inkyd, those who seek ACTUAL roleplay should try Armageddon. Or Harshlands. Or The Inquisition: Legacy. Or The Burning Post 2. Or dozens of other MUDs and MUSHs, far lower on TMC’s list, with REAL roleplaying.

This is all just IMPO, of course.

The change I’m attempting to provoke is highly unlikely. But, there’s ALWAYS a chance. Even for good roleplay on FK.

Forgotten Kingdoms – The JV (Or JH) Of MUDS (SATIRE…SATIRE…SATIRE)

Based on long, often painful, experience, there are four players on FK that are actually GOOD at roleplaying.
1) Pof Harroghty/any alts
2) Pof Liora/any alts
3) Pof Liric/any alts
4) Some new female Aasimar whose name I don’t know.

EDIT, 8/13/15: This does NOT include “former” characters. Characters that no longer play at all are not “on” FK…they are memories. I thought I would clarify, for the sake of accuracy, that there (of course) HAVE been other good roleplayers…but, generally, it tends to be 3 or 4 at a time. A time being…everyone who plays over a period of several months.

Despite a brilliant background, extensive help files, a remarkably workable quest system, helpful Imms, mostly helpful PLAYERS…

The rest is, from dozens of exposures with dozens of characters, the equivalent of prepping for a real MUD.

The established players, with nothing further to accomplish, simply congregate in a place called “Market Center” (formerly Market Square…the areas of FK are constantly improving, unlike the RP) for hours at a time. Roleplay consists of smiling, giggling, frowning, cheek-pecking, in-breeding, and pointless, useless IC conversation.

I say pointless because all conversations are the same, with a few simple variations.

For example, Pof Lylena is almost exactly like every other character there…BUT, she folds her hands behind her back.

Honestly. That’s all.

THIS is the MUD challenging Armageddon for 2nd place on TMC.

It is an alternate Junior High School hallway, with all of the cliques but not QUITE as much intelligence.

This is a product of HOURS and HOURS of research with DOZENS of characters…many of whom were LOVED by other players. But, unfortunately, with the exceptions noted above (and perhaps a few more…but none that you’ll encounter in Waterdeep) there is a helpless feeling of time-wasting that inevitably sets in.

No matter how detailed the world becomes, no matter how complex and interesting the quests become, no matter how involved the character creation process gets…the roleplay stays the same. The same conversations, by the same people (or clones of them), in the same area, about the same subjects, with the same variations in actual character RP: Lylena’s hand-folding being – sadly – one of the best.

That’s all. Try it. Go on FK, and try to stay in Market Center for an hour, with at least six others, and see a single instance of real, genuine, lengthy, emoted/said/thought/FELT roleplay.

You’ll see plenty of chat that is the same, day after day, over and over, as unchanging as Ly’s hand posture…but if you want a JH clique chat, why don’t you just go in a chatroom with fellow adolescents? Or, as the case probably is, those stuck in adolescence and/or lacking the roleplay ability to do anything except 1) that, and 2) hack n’ slash.

Hack n’ slash is commonly referred to as “Adventuring” there.

Is part of this “sour grapes”, as might be the response?

Sure. It’s frustrating to make a character, give them a personality, find a background and setting and functionality that is PERFECT for them…and then have it ruined, over and over and over, by the inept mediocrity of the vast majority of the other players.

This isn’t just my opinion, either…at least two players (one current good role-player, one good role-player who left because of this reason) mentioned and complained, specifically, about the clique system and their annoyance with it. I imagine, since they avoided the usual Square nonsense themselves in order to roleplay with me, that they also shared my view of the overall RP.

Absolute…truth.

Why do I keep going back? Hope. That small, fragile flower in a field of darkness…and, SOMETIMES, I find another real roleplayer amongst the dreck and endless generations of the same nameless names.

I mean…it’s so CLOSE to being the best MUD ever. If ONLY it had roleplayers.

I Think Not Formatting Or Explaining Makes It More Real

If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope. For who could ever learn to love a beast?

I let her go.

Cogsworth: Yes, yes, splen – You what? How could you do that?

Beast: I had to.

Cogsworth: Yes, but, but, but but why?

Beast: Because I love her.

We don’t like what we don’t understand, in fact it scares us, and this monster is mysterious at least…

What should we do, Master?

Beast: It doesn’t matter now. Just let them come.

Oh, uh this is a rejection letter.
It’s not a rejection letter per se.
It’s a “soon and inevitably to be accepted” letter.
Listen to this.
“Your work is not entirely without promise.

“Hurricane of Wills,” unfinished.

You win, Sam.
I’ve struggled so hard for so long to keep my dreams alive, and I haven’t fooled anyone but myself.
I know all along you all considered me a pretentious, self-deluded windbag and apparently, you’ve all been right.
I’m never going to be Diane Chambers, the great poet, the world-famous novelist, the revered artist.
I’ve gone as high as I’m going to go.
I’m a waitress in a beer hall and not a very good one.
A waitress.
A waitress.
A waitress.
Miss, could you take our order? (sobbing)

The GOOD Stubborn

“KIRK: It is useless to resist us.
THARN [on viewscreen: We do not resist you.
KIRK: You have twelve hours to consider your position.
THARN [on viewscreen: Twelve years, Captain Kirk, or twelve thousand. We are ethically compelled to deny your demand for our dilithium crystals, for you would use their power to destroy.
KIRK: We will level your planet and take what we want. That is
destruction. You will die as a race.
THARN [on viewscreen: To preserve what we are.”

The limits of scientific testing, no matter the purpose.

(SPOILER ALERT – ENDING)

I think, at least.

As is. If you want to make a connection that doesn’t exist, go right ahead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ1BkH1ucfc

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – This clip serves, in my opinion, as a statement on scientific testing and an emotionally-and-well-put moral objection to such testing, taking all into account. To criticize this scene: This is the best scene of the movie ‘Extreme Measures’, to which I hold no rights and am making no profit from in any way.

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Fourteen

“…The essentials of speaking are in not speaking at all. If you think that you can finish something without speaking, finish it without saying a single word. If there is something that cannot be accomplished without speaking, one should speak with few words, in a way that will accord well with reason…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A good example (from a great movie) of a man of few words.

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Thirteen

“…The way of revenge lies in simply forcing one’s way into a place and being cut down. There is no shame in this. By thinking that you must complete the job you will run out of time. By considering things like how many men the enemy has, time piles up; in the end you will give up. No matter if the enemy has thousands of men, there is fulfillment in simply standing them off and being determined to cut them all down, starting from one end. You will finish the greater part of it…”

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – A very powerful clip from the movie ‘Unforgiven’ that is, I think, a good example of the above quote.

Film Imitates Hagakure – Part Twelve

“…There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything…”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SheaMMd8H5g

FAIR USE: CRITICISM – As described by another character in the film: “That’s all it takes, really; pressure, and time.” As portrayed (very well) by the character of Andy Dufresne.

Something 999 People Out Of A Thousand Can’t Say (No Matter What The Storybooks Say)

“Deacon: So what is it, then? It’s the map.

Mariner: She’s my friend.

Deacon: Golly gee, a single tear rolls down my cheek. You’re gonna die for your friend.

Mariner: If it comes to that.

[He ignites the flare, and holds it over the hole again]

Nord: He’s bluffing! I’ll kill him.

Enola: He’s not bluffing, he never bluffs.

Deacon: SHUT UP!

[to the Mariner]

Deacon: I-I-I-I-I don’t think you’re gonna drop that torch, my friend.

Mariner: Why not?

Deacon: Because you’re not crazy.

[the Mariner smiles, lifts his hand, and drops the flare down the hole]” – WaterWorld