Highs:
Bologna
local Europe
a kiss
standing by Sam
goodbyes
Lows:
Coach’s joke
Carla’s song
Grade: B-
Highs:
Bologna
local Europe
a kiss
standing by Sam
goodbyes
Lows:
Coach’s joke
Carla’s song
Grade: B-
Highs:
Cliff’s little world
Diane-isms
redundancy
Rueing
Bef
Al’s suitcase
Lows:
Not enough highs
Grade: B-
Highs:
Intro
light bulb
slower chimps
something
flogging
stepping in
the word
chase
disembodied Diane
Lows:
anonymous
when Dianes attack
ending
Grade: B
Highs:
a buck (w/o croutons)
lumpy mother-in-law
wrong bus
butterfly
“You”
last year’s charity
hineys
Campfire Girls All-Stars
no A’s
toast tragedy
Diane’s tone
lack of proms
Diane’s victory
Lows:
Steve again
ending
Grade: A-
Highs:
troubled lips
smelly guys
snipe calls
…moronic prank
boo-tiful guy
Diane + Frasier
screwing to the wall
Lows:
Taking this long to fully incorporate Frasier
Grade: B+
Highs:
Intro
Carla’s gifts
excitement, pleasure, and happiness
psychosomatic theories
little Diane
the voice
Sam not gloating
Lows:
bad edit
horny as a hoot-owl
voiceovers
ending
Grade: B-
Highs:
not being episode 51
tips for Diane
Dark Ages time
test of love
Hester’s psycho impression
yes…yes…yes.
taking stock
pricing revolvers
ending
Lows:
A little too dark for a sit-com.
Grade: B
Highs:
padded bra
imposing
not listening
trace of bravery
Juan Torres
unnecessary killing
Diane’s revenge
Lows:
the very ending
Grade: B+
Anton LaVey believed stupidity should be painful.
He must have been a masochist.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Highs:
shame
Diane’s escape route
roach cologne
ewww
Goldenbrook
pager
dueling “could”‘s
career opportunities in psychiatry
restrained Carla
Lows:
Part 1 again
convenient plot devices
Grade: B+
Highs:
cheeks and chins
Diane’s guilt trips
Carla’s timing
Coach’s positive affirmation
alms
Sam’s story number 2
Diane’s tone
Lows:
Diane’s bags
Grade: B
“…According to Staley, the title for the album came
from a science experiment Cantrell conducted in third
grade: “They gave him two jars full of flies. One of
the jars they overfed, the other jar they underfed.
The one they overfed flourished for a while, then all
the flies died from overpopulation. The one they
underfed had most of the flies survive all year.
I guess there’s a message in there somewhere.
Evidently that experiment had a big impact on Jerry.”…”
Wikipedia
Highs:
quiet beers
accent
Cliff’s crate knowledge
Cliff’s warmup
Sinatra!
Sam Malone – Voice of Reason
grinding
clever childish bickering
ending
Lows:
the tip
stupid childish bickering
Diane’s sleaziness
Grade: B
Highs:
Diane’s vague stirring memories
Sam’s thinking cap
Diane’s football strategies
real men + Cliff
Diane V. football
Cliff’s muscle
Mountain Lily V. Black-Eyed Susan
DING!
Louis’s change of heart
karate
Carla’s belief
Sam’s non-over-acting
ending
Lows:
Cliff’s laugh
guest star’s over-acting
Grade: A-
Highs:
Non-jealousy
table scraps
cat army
untouched area
large teddy
PPCOP
blubbering
Dames Not Aggressive
Lows:
Coach laughing
Most of Coach’s input
Grade: B
“…Make yourself happy.
You can never disappoint yourself.
Be your own friend.”
– Someone a lot wiser than I
-Puppy
Highs:
Harry again
ticket winner
absolutely no ultimatums
stupid V. drunk
Carla’s response
Lows:
Sam’s speech problem
Grade: B-
It’s basically a really long, really good ‘Police Squad’ episode.
The writing/supporting cast are both upped a bit…if you hate complete nonsense, you’ll hate this. But if you appreciate it, this is a very fine example of how complete nonsense can be funny. It’s not quite to the level of ‘Airplane’, but close.
Tedious: Baseball song sequence, attempt at a “romantic” scene near the end.
Inspirational Quote: “And where the hell was I?”
Grade: B+
There are a few that I’d replace, but with over 25 years of material to choose from, they couldn’t really go wrong, and they didn’t. Better than any full episode today, or ever, for that matter.
Grade: A
Highs:
candlelit dinner for two
Specs’s impression on Diane
cute noises
banter
padpenpenpencilpencil
smoking problem
glad death
pad
Lows:
coal
Coach over-acting
poorly-conceived and played out “message”
Grade: B-
With Tarantino involved, you knew it had to be really well-made sh1t.
Lots of cool cuts and one-liners and flashbacks and flashforwards and flasharounds and aspirations beyond the wonderful nonsense that has been proven to be his limit over and over again.
And it is.
But with Oliver Stone involved, you kinda figured it would rise above that.
But it doesn’t.
He called this a “positive” film??? Because you can go on an insane killing spree and not necessarily get gunned down at the end? So aspiring serial killers and ultra-anarchists…there’s hope? What horsesh1t.
Supposedly there’s some good “messages” here…like, violence is bad. And, people that condemn violence and are supposedly horrified by it, yet pay to see it, hear about it, read about it, etc…are a bunch of stupid hypocrites. Yeah no sh1t, Oliver. I didn’t need to see this to know that. And guess what? NOONE who watches this who DIDN’T know that will LEARN that. Either they’re too fcken stupid, or they don’t CARE in the first place. I mean, you say so yourself in the script…you know, the snake story?
Also, there’s an anti-mass-media message, which is pushed so hard along with the violence that the whole thing comes across as camp, lowering it to the level of ‘Hobo’ or ‘Troll 2’ or ‘Manos’, except Oliver Stone is a REAL director and these are REAL actors making a worthless pile of sh1t masterpiece.
And hey Oliver…you’re condemning glorification of violence and the mass media by remaking ‘Bonnie and Clyde’, except fake? Right…
Like so many other similarly violent and/or disturbing movies, most of the people willing and/or eager to sit through this don’t care about anything Oliver’s trying to say. They’re watching this because they’re sick fcks, inside or out, or both, and they enjoy it. Period.
Me, I’m done. Fck em.
Grade: C
Highs:
Sumner’s face
difficult explanation
subtle difference
Norm’s nose
Sam’s religious observation
available Sumner
Lows:
random battery
unbelievably recurring extra
Grade: B
Highs:
carving
Andy Andy again
Norm and Cliff’s heroics
carelessness
Diane’s random French
drive-in skill
WONDERFUL!
scene set-up
Norm’s clap
second show
Sam’s extreme concern
Lows:
Fake tv commentary
Grade: A-
Highs:
The Blubberbutts
Diane-retrieval
derogatory tense
naked reference
poor Sam
Sam’s duty
proposal/counter-proposal
Lows:
Ms. Blubberbutt voyeur
extreme Diane-ism
Grade: B
Highs:
gentle beavers
fair apathy
Bobby and Susie
two boilermakers, Wild Turkey and Bud
slow Thursday
Sam and Derek
sore buns
Coach’s monologue
Cliff’s plea
goodbye/goodbye/goodbye/goodbye…
romance discussion
mutual disgust
door crowd
nibble discussion
Lows:
Recycled Chuck
Recycled Part 1
blackboard torture
silence inability
a bit of overacting
Grade: A-
Highs:
voting/driving cars
gym note
Mr. Subliminal
irritation
wisdom
heavy sleeping
Lows:
Persistent invisible brother
Sound FX
Grade: B-
Highs:
possible Titanic survivor
Norm’s observation
Boggs
Carla being delicate
marriage leer
original vows
embezzling
Boggs’s head
Lows:
Bonanza
Epilogue…
freeze frame
Grade: B
Highs:
glands on hold
information
Harry part 3
free drinks
Diane’s bar
Philly
coolers and hoptoads
The Guy Who Brings The Money
runaway chatter
bad bluffing
good sinuses
itchy nose
ending
earning it
Lows:
feeling used
Grade: A
Highs:
Tip O’Neill avoiding Diane
Coach’s explanation
Federal Express
Sam’s ultimatums
Lows:
Cliff’s chin-wag
Diane’s over-enthusiasm
Grade: B-
Highs:
Anchovie stuffing
persistent numbers
cute coach
Carla’s cackle
Andy Andy
claws
hired!
Sam’s little torch
Sam and Diane being childish
Lows:
Ending argument
Grade: A-
Highs:
Harry again
past lover quotes
scientific proof
snivelling bigots
noble preposition
better than Vera
Lows:
Coach’s story
Carla’s baby impression
Grade: B-
Highs:
Rosie McGonnigle again
Diane’s speech
unflushable cats
using words
secretive cat
Diane’s cat story
ending
Lows:
pretzel eating
Grade: B+
Highs:
Coach’s classy hold
Rosie McGonnigle
Enthusiastic Diane/Reluctant Walker
One question
Norm’s sudden departure
Ending that’s still powerful, emotional(in a SITCOM, no less) and realistic after 30 years
Lows:
Punchy SFX
Slap SFX
Grade: A-
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/03/skittles-bestiality-ad_n_1737249.html
Ok, so I suppose this is sort of like the “Homosexual Agenda”, where every homosexual is part of a vast conspiracy to paint everything rainbow?
Come on…in every case, good bad or neutral or anywhere in between, it’s the person, not the idea.
Bombard a decent person with terrible horror movies (Believe me, I know, if you’ve read some of my movie reviews) and it won’t turn them psycho.
Give a psycho the slightest provocation, or even none at all…they’ll make one up…and they’ll do fcked up sh1t.
I mean, are we gonna ban dogs after “Son of Sam”?
And I agree…this definitely does not make me want to have sex with a walrus. Or eat Skittles.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Highs:
Elizabethan Poet Night
confused Coach in sea of accountants
one-woman charades
801
THE PHONE
a good beating
Lows:
Norman Exposition
Seeing Norm in a toga
limbo time
frozen hallelujah
casual attitude toward sexual assault
ending
Grade: B
11/24/14: Upon further review, not as good. Grade: C+
Highs:
Improved tv reception
old hag
‘Another Christmas Of Agony’
gay guy w/ war wound
stud service
headkiss
graceful fellow
Sam and Diane together/making fun of each other
Lows:
Ending
Grade: A-
4/20/16: I LIKE the ending…take it off the lows. But it’s still Grade: A-
Highs:
One beer
Harry’s first appearance
clip joint (ruff!)
Impressionism
rejection criteria
voice problem/approval
anger management
first kiss/practical feminism
Lows:
Dave Richards
The Flintstones
some of Coach’s lines
brief cheerleader story
Grade: B
Highs:
Louise dying
Big Pig Eddie
“No…”
gathered inference
convenient cards
Diane’s majors
kid avoidance
Diane’s Way
convenient baseball
Lows:
most of Coach’s lines
Indian Studies
extended HBP bit
Carla’s therapy bit
ending
Grade: B-
Highs:
military brat
mime class
Magnificent Pagan Beast
close call
surprise hooker
sweat contest
advance apology
Diane’s first laugh
Lows:
Plenty of kinks to be worked out
too much Basil Exposition
too much pretension
too much too soon from Carla
Sam and Diane trying too hard
Grade: C
8/1/13: I think I was a little too hard on it because I was hoping it would be great. Nostalgia – it’s good and it’s bad. Grade: C+
I’d just like to thank everyone that made this possible…me, my friends, people that like reading my little posts, people that randomly stumble upon it and don’t care, people that come here to make fun of it thereby driving up my hit count, and finally people that made fun of it and said noone would visit it, thereby inspiring me to make it at least SLIGHTLY successful to serve, in part, as a constant, faint, irritating reminder in the manner of mild rectal itch.
Thank you!
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Not a bad episode of MST3K.
But the shorts were always better than the movies. And the studio bits are over-done and less-funny without TV’s Frank.
“Ok…see now, what separates the Metalunans, from like, “Hollywood” aliens, ok, is that that they have like they have huge heads, alright…ok, now now I don’t mean they have big egos, ok, cuz they don’t, alright…I mean their actual HEADS…are huge, alright…I mean they have to sleep sitting up, ok…like the Elephant Man, or they’ll die, alright…”
Grade: B-
1/30/13: Better the more I watch it. Grade: B
Having not seen all of the films in her illustrious collection (I missed ‘Encino Man’, and ‘Conan The Barbarian’ seemed a bit beyond me intellectually) I can’t be certain, but after watching this I would say that I am pretty much convinced that Rose McGowan is a very very pretty, attractive, fashionable non-actress.
Grade: F
If a man named Milton became a psychiatrist, and began treating the daughter of someone named Satan, and found that she was a danger to herself and/or others, would he be forced to commit Sin?
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Puppy does not endorse or have any affiliation with any links or comments attached to any direct links from DaPuppy.com(tm). Click/Read at your own risk.
-Puppy >.< Yip!
Been there, seen that, laughed more, thought more, cared more.
Totally unnecessary. But well-done, I’ll give it that.
Grade: C
It was a lot funnier the first time I saw it, when it first came out…because back then, DeNiro doing his best DeNiro impression (from serious, violent films) was a relatively new and fresh idea. I thought it was hilarious.
But you can only do the same joke so many times before it gets old. And let’s face it, DeNiro’s done it plenty of times since then. But even with that being said, I still really like this movie because DeNiro’s deadpan delivery of lines he knows are meant to be funny and self-effacing rivals that of Leslie Nielsen in ‘Airplane!’ and Idle/Cleese in the best ‘Flying Circus’ sketches.
And the comedy that’s intrinsic with self-parody is a great contrast to the extremely serious things that are happening…you know, people getting killed and all.
Dr. Sobel’s psychiatry is a bit out-of-date at this point, but Crystal does a good job holding his own.
Inspirational Exchange: The Fcken Doctor V. Primo Sindone
Grade: A-
Same-Day Edit: Nah…too hokey. In too many places. Grade: B
Question on OKCupid:
“Would you sleep with a serial killer?”
Possible responses:
A ) Yes
B ) No
Suggested Correct Third Response:
C ) Not For Very Long
-Puppy >.< Yip!
As opposed to some of his appearances, Norm brings some actual jokes to this event.
He still doesn’t try very hard, but if he tried very hard he wouldn’t be Norm MacDonald.
Occasionally hilarious, and he’s a smart/amusing guy in his own apathetic way.
Grade: B
“I don’t know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it’s
his property, it’s his dog…If that’s what he wants to
do, do it. I think people should mind their business…”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinton_Portis
“I know a lot of back roads that have the dog
fighting if you want to go see it.” – Clinton Portis
“In the recent interview I gave concerning dog
fighting, I want to make it clear I do not take
part in dog fighting or condone dog fighting in
any manner.”
– Clinton Portis via Redskins damage control
Translation: “I don’t give a fck about dogs, really…
but people that aren’t as much of a dumba$$ as I am
told me that if I don’t send out this message
pretending I do care at least a tiny bit, I’ll stop
getting so much money from contracts and
endorsements.” – Puppy >.< Yip!
4/12/16: *OPINION…OPINION…OPINION*
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_fighting_in_the_United_States
I’d like to see King in one of the fights he supports…he wouldn’t last a minute against even the smallest bitch.
Bitch = Female dog
He’d probably piss his pants too.
-Puppy >.< Yip!