Category: Puppy

Let Me In (2010)

This one made me think.  A lot.

Stripped down to the only parts that feel like they matter, this is a tender and touching story of pure, innocent friendship between two children who feel they have noone else.  Those scenes between the two ARE the movie…everything else is irrelevant, like a comedic side-story thrown in for a few gratuitous laughs, merely to put space between one interesting scene and the next.

The problem is it’s not comedic.  It’s disturbing, depressing, brutal, and merciless.

It’s terribly troubling…if the folklore vampire (here, or anywhere else) is so utterly Evil for killing human beings to survive, what does that say about human beings, since we are the only species that actively preys on itself for FUN?  We hurt each other, even kill each other…out of greed, lust, jealousy, sometimes just pure sadism. 

The very fact that I have morality makes me re-evaluate what I believe, and why, sometimes.  When a horror film can raise legitimate moral questions that can’t be easily answered in black and white terms, that’s a rarity.

Something to think about.  Or, more probably, not.

Grade: B

6/3/12: “Think think think, just think about it…” Grade: B+

6/24/12: This, I think, is “goth” in the purest, most unpretentious, morally ambiguous, and darkly beautifully spare way.  Quite an achievement, really.  Grade: A-

Perkins’ 14 (2009)

’28 Days Later’, cooked up in some lunatic’s basement.  Only it took 3622 more days and it sucks.

I’ve been trying to find the next great “horror” film (If I haven’t seen it yet, it’s new to me) in the vein of ‘Land of the Dead’ or ‘Seven’…this ain’t it.  It starts mediocre enough and then descends into one of the worst pieces of sincere(???) filmmaking I have ever seen, including MST3K.

I think an old (future) exchange said it best (regarding my search)…and I paraphrase:

“This is disgusting…this is absolutely, completely horrendous.  I hate this.  I HATE this!”
“Another?”
“Please!”

Grade: F-

Sounds Pretty Good To Me…

“He is a seemingly arbitrary man, this is because he knows what he
is talking about better than any one else. He…has, I believe, an absolutely open mind. This, with an iron nerve, a temper of the ice-brook, and indomitable resolution, self-command, and toleration exalted from virtues to blessings, and the kindliest and truest heart that beats, these form his equipment for the noble work that he is doing for mankind, work both in theory and practice, for his views are as wide as his all-embracing sympathy.”

Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer (1990)

Moral of the story: None.

Recommended highly to all VF members that list “Serial Killers” as one of their “likes”.  You want to meet one?  If you met Henry (Who is based on a real-life serial killer) and told him how “cool” you thought he was, he’d stare at you and then make you his next victim.  Dumba$$es.

Shocking when it was released, disgusting and pointless (not to mention outdated by those that need even MORE blood and guts to make a horror film…see “Gore Film Afficionados – Analysis Of A Subculture”) today.

Grade: F

11/21/12:  I suppose one could argue that the moral of the story is:  Some people are beyond help/sympathy (see ‘Natural Born Killers’).  Whether it’s their “fault” or not, it simply is so…therefore one must accept this and act accordingly.  As Henry can have no “friends” (He’s a sociopath, he doesn’t view anyone as a “friend”…people are things to him) to attempt to be his friend in any way is foolish and self-destructive to one’s self and everyone and everything in one’s life.  It’s like walking up to a scorpion with the best of intentions and then being surprised when you are stung.

All that being said, I still think this movie is a piece of sh1t.  The one-dimensional acting of the lead is, I guess, “brilliant”…he’s playing a Sociopath, after all.  Well done.  So what?  It’s still disgusting and pointless.  If you want to know anything about Henry/sociopathy, read a book/article/anything on the condition.

The only reason to watch this is if your favorite scenes in ‘A Clockwork Orange’ were the rape and ultra-violence ones and you wish Kubrick had filtered out all that other “meaningful” cr@p.

Grade: F

5/3/14: By my own comparison (‘Natural Born Killers’), just because I don’t like a movie (and I don’t like this one) doesn’t mean it’s a complete failure.  So for the lead’s “in-character” acting, this comes off my F list and hopefully falls further into obscurity.  Grade: D-

Local H

As Good As Dead (1996)

Although Scott Lucas can perform an eerily similar vocal to Kurt Cobain, here’s the difference between the two…Kurt Cobain had a brilliant sense of timing, could write killer riffs for more than two or three songs per album, and he understood subtlety.  Cobain expressed more anger on the unplugged “Where Did You Sleep Last Night” than Lucas does on “High-Fiving MF”, by the simple act of SINGING the song and letting the nuances of his voice express his feelings.  Lucas, instead, swears profusely and screams.  Nearly ruins a perfectly good song, too.  Light and Shade, Scott…Light and Shade.
(“Bound For The Floor”, “Eddie Vedder”)

Grade: B-

10/22/12: Lucas UNDERSTANDS it…he just doesn’t always USE it.  And I said “nearly”.

Grade: B

Pack Up The Cats (1998)

Nothing they didn’t do better on ‘As Good As Dead’.  Scott Lucas chilled out a little bit and nearly forgot how to construct a song.
(“All The Kids Are Right”)

Grade: D+

Wake Wood (2011)

Creepy.

A sort of European alteration of Stephen King’s ‘Pet Sematary’, with much less action and much more mood and ambience.  A bit bloody, but there’s far more internal struggle than external.  It’s a bit ragged in parts and strikes me as slightly amateurish, but there’s an undeniable morbid charm to it, if you like that sort of thing.

Worth seeing once and only once.

Grade: B-

7/14/18: The Great Grade Update. Grade: C+

The Ward (2011)

Dear John:

Just saw your latest film.

In ‘In The Mouth of Madness’ the general incoherency of the plot was justifiable because the film itself was about insanity and you managed to get a few actual actors to appear in it.

In this one, the only true confusing “surprise” I’m left with at the end (or any time during) is why you haven’t retired by now.

Invoking H.P. Lovecraft grants one a certain license to be weird.

This film invokes a number of films, none of them very well.

P.S. – What’s the deal with your Kurt Russell fascination?  Tim Burton has better taste in obsessions.

Grade: D-

How Did I Know This Would Happen On VampireFreaks?

“Alyssa is a super kewl girl .. she is in jail and i wanna make a cult so every one can make her a sign and I will be posting her poems and
updates about her .. please help her by making her signs or writting
her poems ,, i will then forward them to her.”

Cult on Vampirefreaks.com

Oh yeah, goths are harmless.  Unless they list their hobbies as cutting and killing people.

Again, there are some “real” goths on VF, and this isn’t meant to denigrate them…but the majority are angst-ridden adolescents or post-adolescents (Or in some cases VERY-post-adolescents) with tendencies toward psycopathy, sociopathy, serial killers, and other warm and fuzzy subjects.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

10/16/16: I don’t know who “Alyssa” is, I don’t know what she’s allegedly done, I don’t know if she’s guilty or not. And there are certainly plenty of decent people on VF. But there ARE a large amount of fcked up scumbags. (housekeeping)

2/6/2012 – Boston V. New York (Sporting Events, Update by Puppy)

Championships in what most Americans consider the four “major” sports…Football (NFL), Baseball (MLB), Basketball (NBA), and Hockey (NHL).

Football:
New York Giants/New York Jets: 5
New England Patriots: 3

Since New York has two teams and Boston only one, this would
indicate a virtual tie. Although New York does win the “If you
predict a Super Bowl EVERY year eventually it’s bound to happen”
Rx Ryan positivism approach.

UPDATE: Ditto.

Baseball:
New York Yankees/New York Giants/New York Mets/Brooklyn Dodgers: 35
Boston Americans/Boston Braves/Boston Red Sox: 8

Utter domination by New York.

Basketball:
Rochester Royals/New York Knicks: 3
Boston Celtics: 17

Utter domination by Boston. In fact, the ratio against New York here is even more than the ratio for them in baseball.

Hockey:
New York Rangers/New York Islanders: 8
Boston Bruins: 6

Since New York has two teams and Boston only one, this would
indicate a virtual tie…actually, it would indicate Boston as doing slightly better, but hey, who’s counting?

So basically, what we have is a draw. So all stupid, ignorant,
obnoxious (as opposed to real) New York sports fans should really
get their story straight… is it who’s better NOW, or in the past?

When the Yankees win, it’s who’s better now. When they lose,
it’s who WAS better. When the Knicks lose, it’s…ummm…wait til next year. When the Jets lose, it’s…ummm…well…wait til next year.

In fact, statistically, Boston has won more championships per team on the average than New York.

New York Total: 10 Teams, 51 Championships.  That’s 5.10 per team.

Boston Total: 6 Teams, 34 Championships. That’s 5.66 per team.

UPDATE: After the Giants win, NY only needs 5 more to (almost) tie Boston. Keep reaching for the stars!

Oh wait! Anticipating the “New England isn’t just Boston!” comments…

That means Boston has 5 teams, 31 Championships. That’s over 6 per team.

UPDATE: You can include Buffalo teams, too…if you want to see even more of an edge for Boston. I mean, it’s just sad that some people base their own lives and self-confidence on a false belief of sports “Supremacy”.

10/16/16: Signature removed. Holy font resize for consistency Batman. “Or who cares?” (housekeeping)

Worshipping the Inevitable – Satire by Puppy

DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to apply to real goths, nor is it meant to “attack” one “group”…it is a satirical commentary on a flawed principle using one example.

I’ve heard people claim that they have a “fascination” with death, darkness, things of that ilk, etc…

Now far be it from me to deny anyone’s right to be “fascinated” with anything…but the reason given, on occasion, seems to me to be a bit lacking in substance. 

That is, it is pointless to deny the inevitable, and instead of fearing it, we should embrace it.

Well, I would suggest that a nasty case of diarrhea is inevitable in every person’s life, at one time or another.  As good as you feel now, even if it hasn’t happened YET, sooner or later you’re going to be running to the bathroom with intense urgency.  It is inevitable.  Does that mean we should spend time sitting around thinking about the tragic inevitability of messy bowel movements?  I mean, if you want to, go right ahead…but it seems a bit silly to me.

The point is that just because something is inevitable does not inherently make it worthy of worship, reverence, study, interest, etc…

Yes, death is inevitable.  As far as I know, noone has ever avoided it.  But I prefer, instead of “resigning” myself to my “fate” and doing whatever I “feel like” because, hey, life’s too short…looking upon the inevitable as the final moment in my life.  Life, after all, being nothing more than a succession of moment after moment (Thank you, Yamamoto Tsunetomo).  Therefore, I choose to live each moment according to my design.  Therefore, I choose to live each moment as I believe I should, being master of my own self and my own self “will” (Thank you, Aleister Crowley), rather than a being ruled by random impulses, addictions, and/or fascinations.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

Alien Resurrection (1997)

Sigourney Weaver effortlessly carries the movie with the ease of someone completely in command of their character (Easier after three movies).  With Joss Whedon in charge of the script, it features plenty of kitschy drama and dark humor, often served together.  It’s also visually impressive if you can stand grotesque images, especially near the end.  It does lag a bit in the middle, though, and the characters are more amusing cartoons than persons of interest. 

And so it ends…

Grade: B-

Alien 3 (1992)

The bleak, depressing, dull, demoralizing, and downright BAD sequel to ‘Aliens’ was directed by David Fincher, and shows why he got to direct stylish, nihilistic nonsense like ‘Fight Club’ but leaves me shocked that he was handed the reins for an actual great movie (‘Seven’).

Apparently the formula here is to eliminate the likeable characters from the previous film and then introduce no new ones, instead surrounding Ripley with thoroughly bland and one-dimensional you’ve-met-one-you’ve-met-em-all types, and you don’t really need to meet one.

It’s the feel-bad movie of the year!

Grade: F

5/30/12: The benefit of adding professionalism to an otherwise worthless movie.  Grade: D-

4/25/16: Alien Cubed proves that sometimes more isn’t better. Grade: D-

6/3/16: Re: above comment, thank you RK.

Aliens (1986)

Exceptionally well-made sequel, more in the vein of drama/action than the first film’s sci-fi/horror, and much better.

Paul Reiser is remarkably sleazy, Sigourney Weaver is remarkably resilient, Michael Biehn is remarkably likeable/competent, and Bill Paxton is the most remarkably whiny Marine ever.

Inspirational Quote: “Game Over, Man!”

Grade: A-

6/23/13: This is certainly as good as fellow 80’s drama/action alums ‘Lethal Weapon’ and ‘RoboCop’, and it’s more imaginative and better written.  Grade: A

John Mellencamp

The Best That I Could Do 1978-1988 (1997)

Very good selections from six albums.  And by “very good” I’m suggesting that he picked the best that he could of the best that he did.  Not that they were always all that good.  Catchy throughout, more intelligent as they go along.
(“Lonely Ol’ Night”, “Paper In Fire”)

Grade: A-

Michael Jackson

Thriller (1982)

Just because an album is a landmark doesn’t mean you have to like it.  The craft here is undeniable, but I just don’t particularly enjoy listening to some of the hits.  Unlike a lot of today’s pop superstars he did write some of these songs himself, though, and four out of my five favs were Jackson-penned.
(“Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin”, “Beat It”)

Grade: B

Bad (1987)

See Above…change five to four.
(“Smooth Criminal”, “Leave Me Alone”)

Grade: B-

Cyndi Lauper

She’s So Unusual (1983)

Some of it is forgettable, but none of it is truly regrettable.  It’s surprisingly (still) refreshing and, on at least a couple of occasions, the pure pop is transcendent…which for pure pop is very unusual.
You go girl!
(“Girls Just Want To Have Fun”, “She Bop”)

Inspirational Lyric: “I wanna be the one to walk in the Sun.”

Grade: B-

I Am Puppy Hear Me Degrade – Depeche Mode, “Personal Jesus”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1xrNaTO1bI

:06 – She’s got the idea…Run Lola Run!
:13 – You can lead a horse-cam to water but you can’t make it stop filming bad videos.
:23 – So Fast Fashion formed in a village when two pickup drivers met two horse riders?
:35 – The Chicken Of Tomorrow!!!
1:04 – So faith is found in a scrubland brothel?
1:32 – “…Even shallower lead singer David Gahan, who likes Gore’s message because it’s a good way to impress girls…”
1:40 –  It’s all in the hooter.  The schnauz.  The olfactory instrument.
2:01 – “I am repelled by your touch.  Leave me alone, I’m being artsy.”
2:09 – “Hmmm…I wonder if she faked it…”
2:12 – OMG suggestive imagery!  See?
2:16 – That’s a long one.
2:18 – Easy, partner…
2:22 – What’s the deal with the horse images spliced between sexual sounds?  Well…that is a nice…WHAT AM I SAYING???!!!
2:28 – Phew…we’re done.  We certainly got our two minutes worth.
2:30 – So you’re RIDING…I think you need lessons on subtlety from Ms. Amphlett.
3:04 – I wonder if they faked their rhythm more than the women faked their orgasms?  Or vice versa?  Or who cares?

Bryan Adams

Anthology (2005)

Selected to prove that Bryan Adams can write a WHOLE lot of really bad songs.  I mean, this is two and a half HOURS of pure Bryan Adams.  Out of that time, let me sum up the total excitement –
“*Riff Riff*  “Oooo yeah I love this!” “Got my first real six-string…” *Riff Riff* “Ohhh..yeah…that was a cool song…” “Over at the five and dime…” *Riff Riff* “Oh well…wanna make out?”

Grade: D-

Alice Cooper

Alice Cooper’s Greatest Hits (1974)

“I’m Eighteen” and “School’s Out”, believe it or not, were actually considered “hard rock” at the time.   Now they’re considered fun novelty songs.  Controversial, perhaps, then.  Laughable, mostly, now.
Or at least chuckle-able.  But Alice Cooper > Gary Glitter for doing it a few times.
(“Billion Dollar Babies”)

Grade: C

Betty Curse

Here Lies Betty Curse (2006)

Notable as the vehicle for former aspiring actress Megan Burns (’28 Days Later’), who decided she’d much rather direct…errr, I mean front a pop band, so using her 15 minutes she secured a recording contract, bombed and was subsequently dropped.  There’s nothing “goth” about this music, except perhaps its pretension…however, unlike say, Placebo or even (say it ain’t so) Depeche Mode, there’s no guilty/fun pleasure/reward here…it’s Tiffany after a funeral, or an angst-ridden teen’s poetry journal set to dull synth music.  I dub thee, Miss ABBA of Gothville.  Bow down and be forgotten.

Grade: D-