Category: Television/Short Subject Reviews

High-stakes poker.

Not particularly exciting, and not horror at all. 

But I find it somewhat intriguing in a thoughtful way.

The previous episode kinda sucked.

In this one, two insane pepperpots putter for quite a while over a murder plan/attempt.

The intented victim brings a wee bit of sanity to the proceedings.

Foppish, moderately insane man plots the “perfect murder”.  Needless to say, it doesn’t work out exactly as planned.

Twist: meh.  At least it’s there.

One man alone, two men discussing possibilities, one woman in a questionable (and possibly morbid) location.  You may sniff out the ending, but I think it’s pretty good.

Interesting story of an over-attached and slightly deranged daughter who makes an unusual friend. 

With a fitting ending for Hitchcock (that’s a compliment).

Hey, not bad.  The elegant formality of the Olde English murder coverup.  Decent acting, too.

Pretty familiarly disappointing until the end.

TGIBTAT.

Yes, I’m still watching them.  Yes, I’m still trying to review them.  But precious little since 27 has interested me.

This one is particularly wretched, worse than the worst soap opera you’ve ever seen.  Included as an update, and a warning.

The ending is worthy of a 50’s prop short or ultra-cheezy MST flick that might make Joel Hodgson say: “Think about it, won’t you?”

Live by the belle, die by the bell.  Coulda been better after a very interesting setup, but oh well.

Marginal.

Ehhh…well, it’s not too bad.  What with a decent twist and all.

Oopsie!  Well, this’ll make solicitors think twice.

The best in a while.

A nice little whodunit.

That’s it, although I hope (but don’t know) the not-as-predictable-as-feared ending was an intentional twist.

Similar to a post I made about a year and a half ago, an explanation on why some episodes of television programs I review are skipped:

Basically those skipped are by default reviewed as “Not worth your time”.  I’m at least somewhat of a fan of every series I review…if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t bother reviewing it (unlike movies). 

So it’s not someone that doesn’t like ‘Star Trek’ or ‘The Twilight Zone’ saying “it stinks”…it’s a FAN saying “I like X…but this particular episode of X sucks, skip it”.

Yes, I watch them all.  If I’ve reviewed up to episode 50 that means I’ve watched all 50 episodes, even if I’ve only reviewed 20-25.  An effort to save fellow fans time by avoiding dulllights.  And if it’s borderline I usually include it just in case you might feel differently.

As for programs that I review completely, it’s either because I REALLY like them (‘Flying Circus’), they’re REALLY short-lived (‘The Vacant Lot’) or I just felt like it.  But the only difference between an episode that I review as “This sucks” and one that I skip is that I saved keystrokes, basically.

It’s sh1tty work, but somebody’s gotta do it.

-Puppy >.< Yip!

The politeness of the long-delayed English murder. 

Again, it’s just for the twist basically.  And it’s not PARTICULARLY exciting.

The setup is fairly generic, but the twist isn’t as obvious as you’d expect it to be.  So, borderline again.

Also included to warn you of the horrific periods of boredom that are episodes 17 and 18.

Borderline, but it does have a twist which shows that even good, decent people can have a wicked sense of humor.  And good for her.

A bit mysterious, yes…but a little too generic for me.  Borderline.

Lowlight: Dismissive attitude towards domestic abuse.

Fairly interesting, though it doesn’t live up to its potential. 

Told mostly in flashbacks.

Arsenic and Old Maid?

Creepy again…good.  And a nice, wholesome twist.

Creepy and macabre, from a rather unique point of view.

You may find it tedious, I find it interesting.  Easily the best so far.

So far, these aren’t nearly as good as I remembered them.

This is about the same as a mediocre TZ episode: interesting buildup, disappointing twist.  Slightly better than 1, perhaps.

The sad thing (so far) is, these are the best of the lot.

Good, as always: Hitchcock’s little segments.

Very borderline episode that at least has a twist.  And befitting Hitchcock, it’s rather dark.

Pretentious former-student film turns into bad acid trip turns back into former…with brief moments of deep thought and comedy.

Makes me feel a little better about my life, though.

I have no interest in further chapters, and neither should you.

For an interesting glimpse at animated insanity, try ‘Caldera’ by Evan Viera.

Grade: D-

It’s very well made, with good music by an old poof who wrote tunes.

But the actual watching experience is nowhere near as pleasurable as I’d hoped.

It’s mildly interesting – there are some moments of thought-provocation, some moments of beauty, and a few soothing moments after flurries of action.

But too much is just dull or annoying, or both.

Grade: D+

A He Said/She Said buildup to a blind date between two somewhat insecure people.

Then there’s an animated date, featuring lots of dialogue (some bland, some out of place, some somewhat interesting) and a bunch of revealing and sometimes amusing thought bubbles.

It’s sort of sweet that they both seem to be trying (the guy’s thought bubbles aren’t QUITE as sweet, but he seems decent otherwise) and I found myself hoping for these two stick figure cartoon characters to get together.  Rowr.

Perhaps I’m too close to the subject, but it was a bit sad nearing and at the end and it actually made me feel…hence the grade.  Recommended to anyone socially/romantically inept/confused/depressed/anxious.

Inspirational Quote: “I would love some coffee.”

Grade: B-

A rabbit is created and put through many wildly varied and conflicting scenarios by the animator.

Basically, think ‘Duck Amuck’ with a rabbit and grossness, and without nearly as much quality.

It moves along quickly and there are moments of inspired weirdness and cuteness, so I’d say go for it if you’re a fan of Don or the Daffy short.

Inspirational Suggestion: “…The Pretentious Student Film?”

Grade: C+

A lack of wisdom is displayed in a long short consisting basically of one guy pulling an endless stitch out of some other guy’s throat.

At 3:47 something finally happens, and it gets really weird.  And very silly.  And the one truly amusing gross part doesn’t last very long and turns generic-cartoon-gross/boring until the imminent, thankful end.

Grade: D-

This project has been abandoned due to lack of my interest.

Ok.  I don’t care about sequence or completeness anymore with F+S…I just wanna review the funny stuff.  So this works for now.

Pretty darn good…consistent and without cr@p filler or big fat ugly nasty disgusting guys.

And hey, I saw the original…good mockery.

Worth a watch.

CORRECTION:  Search for “French And Saunders Titanic”.

How is this different from most episodes?  Ummm…it’s got a Christmas sketch or two.

Actually this is mostly just tolerable…kinda cute, but not funny or even that amusing.

Exceptions:
Jennifer’s chocolate sucking
camel head/instant baby
horrific F+S backup singing
Jennifer’s sensible heroin
Jennifer’s brilliant video idea

Those are like, 2-3 minutes total.  Decide for yourself.

So, do they add music/dance because they think it’s GOOD?  Or just because they need to pad the…episode?  Cuz I hear love does that.

In any case this is wretched outside of the first part of the rhinoplasty sketch and an INTENSE STARE by a subtle Dawn.  That’s like…3 minutes.

Season Two ENDS here, Thank God.  This is easily their worst.  In future, I think I shall skip bad episodes as I did for other shows.  Still have to watch them though :(

Lowlights:
horrible song and dance number
June Whitfield interaction/shameless promotion
Lulu’s song
really dumb song from boring sketch
yes, ANOTHER boring song
and another…
and another…
and the ending one.

This…is…painful, at times.  Skip.

Highlights:
Intro ADVENTURE sketch
pictures of Jennifer’s a$$
cris-py crunchy crust
some of Saunders’ dining franticness

Lowlights:
underground musical number
REALLY bad Elvis sketch
Raw Sex again, and again
boring living room sketch
most of dining room sketch
ending

Confusing new intro…kinda interesting.  Solid episode.

Highlights:
Dawn and Jennifer: VERY naughty schoolgirls (a long one)
medieval French and Saunders
mostly silent Italian practice
French WANTING a sandwich…Saunders’ escape route
French and Saunders schoolgirl mocking/semi-fight/Spam reference!
Saunders decking French
flying cat
not-quite-a cat

Lowlights:
Raw Sex number…can’t seem to get rid of them
big fat ugly nasty horrid humping guys…see above

EXCITING new intro!  Kinda cute. Probably the highlight.

Actual show: Pretty poor…skip it.

They do a bunch of parodying, which I hear they do well later in their careers…but in THIS piece of work, they mostly suck.

Highlights:
Dawn’s Latin(?)
shaky microphone
tasteless Ginger Rogers dance number
tasteless fur-wearers parody

Lowlights:
Katherine Hepburn bit (most of it)
musical number
tasteless bodybuilding sketch (except the end)
packing discussion (except near the end)
Farton sisters
Baby Sue singing…blah.
ending cracks

Not as good as 7, but better than season one.  A bit, a bit.

Highlights:
Dawn’s intro (even better, great)
weather bit
Thumper discussion
impressive bad joke
chambermaids behaving badly
“Because The Night”…finally (I know what I said, but it’s cool)
Saunders the ballerina warming up

Lowlights:
big fat ugly nasty guys (thank God they brought them back)
bad music
issue sketch
Dawn’s foley kick
most of the ballerina sketch
ending (don’t hang around for it)

They seem to have come back ready…with MATERIAL, yet. 

Now this is more like it, and like what I remember.

Highlights:
fallen legbones
3 or 4 only options
beautifully coordinated dance(s)
banter
contraceptive confusion
brief musical healing
bits of insane French during musical duo bit
Dawn’s crawling/popping nipple(?)
hippie French/Saunders at the end of the credits

Lowlights:
bad musical number
Raw Sex, when I thought they were gone
most of musical duo bit
the Dawn-punishing machine

To paraphrase Tony T.:

“I never liked you, (‘Seinfeld’).  Not cuz you’re (starring) a Jew, huh.  I know plenty of Jews.  It’s cuz you’re a (boring) piece of (fluff).

Yes, thank God, they use the louvre in this episode as well.

Ok…I’d recommend…episode 1.  And MAYBE 5.  And not this one.
 
On to season 2, yay.

Highlights:
Saunders’ intro, especially her unconvincing arms
Dawn’s cute present-pout
Dawn’s persistent interruptions/playful mocks
Dawn REALLY exploring her sexuality

Lowlights:
Esperanto song
many lulls
guest star led astray
“Eye Of The Tiger”
Dawn dancing to cr@ppy music
Joan Armatrading’s song

French.  Saunders.  You’re BEYOND ‘The Comic Strip’.  Please…please…let it go. 

Better reference: ‘The Money Programme’.

“The waiting is the hardest part…”

Highlights:
the rich and emaciated
both of the three basic looks
bosom discussion in the louvre turning into…
menstruation discussion in the louvre
chatty/cheerful severely wounded/dead (a pretty long one, too)

Lowlights:
virtually the entire first 7 minutes
Lots of bits, varied and scattered
Jools Holland’s boring piano playing/music number
ending

It appears, after four episodes, that they have a few good bits per episode and then the rest is closer to rubbish than good.  But I KNOW they get better…I’ve SEEN them better. 

Oh well…stick with it, Pup.

Highlights:
excited Raw Sex intro
French and Saunders’ amazing and short stunts (and reprise)
Dawn’s subtle BAFTA-snagging
Spanish Dawn’s encroaching on musical number
Dawn peeking
short little ratings bit after the outro

Lowlights:
Scots jokes (and reprises)
links…?
really bad music/dance number
long Spanish(?) musical number
long outro

A rather wet episode.  See French and Saunders in bathing suits.  Silly ones.

About as good as 2, unfortunately…let’s hope for improvement.

Highlights:
Pixieish French (I have a weakness for her)
“Birth, Bloody Birth”‘s lump of Saunders
French trashing Saunders
Gypsy sketch accents
‘Eeek!…’

Lowlights:
two really fat old disgusting guys humping things
trailer sketch
parts of the gypsy sketch
guy with hats spinning and flipping stuff
a rather weak ending

It’s a pretty funny short film, sorta like ‘Rejected’ has a lot of.

I like the background music and lead-in to the balloon’s first (pissed) reaction.

The balloon revolution will be animated.

Grade: B

Pissed reaction to rejection/bad dating experiences. (I assume).

It’s not all that clever (it’s not stupid, just not all that clever), so unless you’re watching it for the animated gross “reactions”, it’s not a big loss to miss.

Although Don’s admission (at least, that’s how I see it) that he (the animated male) isn’t exactly without fault in the whole scenario is refreshing.  And amusing.

And I like the music.

Grade: C

Skits and sketches.  1 was better.

Highlights:
size argument/askance looks
NCP car park!!! (them’s good people, man)
tasteful Saunders crotch shot
t1ts propaganda
Saunders’ night bra

Lowlights:
Bangles parody (Cuz it’s music and not very funny)
musical sketch intro/reprise/ending
pretty much everything after Saunders’ night bra

Ok so I’m using resources (thank you, Wikipedia and maybe others) to put these in the correct order by date aired.

Both (Dawn) French and Saunders (Jennifer) have other projects, talent, and a pleasant appearance (Rowr).  Look ’em up if you want/need to.

Here they do skits and sketches together, as in all their episodes (I think).  Sometimes they’re more of a longer theme/parody.

Highlights:
seeing French and Saunders interact: it’s just cute
nice little Dawn-dismissive intro
Dawn’s sudden emergence
Dawn’s helping hands
Dawn’s improper update

Lowlights:
the music – I don’t care who it is, ever.  COMEDY, please.

Pretty much unavailable to me. 

I WOULD have reviewed them if that wasn’t the case.  So thank God.

Intro: ’28 Days Later’ or more appropriately ‘Azure Bonds’ (Yeah, a BOOK!!!)  Interesting, both scene and score.

Really good FX.

No complaints until way-too-easy escape.

Great learning curve: Dimension Door gun mastered quickly.  Impressive and plausible (she strikes me as a quick learner).

GREAT touch near/at the end.

SPOILER ALERT:

Think ‘Truman Show’

Ending’s a bit sudden, but I’m NOT glad.  I wish there was more.

Grade: B+

4/6/14: In the midnight hour, I cried MORE MORE MORE.  Maybe the easy escape was allowed/semi-allowed/whatever.  Or if not, overlook it.  This is just fcken cool.  And it’s certainly worth five and a half minutes of your time.  Grade: A-

Money on FX: well spent
Money on actors: Coulda used more
Money on script: ditto
Bathing suits: cute
The sort-of twist: not bad
Emotional moment: believable
Ending: predictable

Grade: D

4/5/14: I musta been in a SLIGHTLY bad mood.  And the male/female leads are decent.  Grade: D+

See episode 9.  Actually don’t, I just meant refer to it and upgrade slightly to get to the review for this.

Highlights:
annoying charity
insane parts of green-light sketch
a few parts of trial
foot insertion

Lowlights:
train sketch
long megaphone sketch
most of trial
most of ending

Really mediocre.  REALLY tedious at times, sadly, for the first time.

Highlights:
convenient moustache
buttholes
BHG ending/music emergency

Lowlights:
Dave’s GF’s drool
boring hate group
bad news
Blame-A-Thon
fart sketch…wow.
other fart sketch…wow.
dumb ending